First dates are tricky. At their best they can be a great fortune-teller, predicting something amazing coming your way. At their worst they'll make you want to flip the table and run screaming from the restaurant like the backs of your shoes are on fire.
So we're talking about the "flaming shoes" variety of first dates today.
Reddit user, u/Kiwicarebear. wanted to hear the thing that breaks the ice a little too much when they asked:
Excuse Me, I'm Here TOO
If it's a one way conversation, me asking them questions and taking interest in their life and them asking none or minimal questions about me.
Excuse Me, Do You Make A Mistake?Giphy
Is anyone else put off if they're too, I dunno, clean?
I don't mean dirt, I mean like, their performance. I want a person to occasionally say something stupid, or ramble nervously, trip over their words, drop something, spill a drink, misinterpret a facial cue/hand gesture. If someone doesn't make a few mistakes I start to wonder what the hell their game is.
Excuse Me, Your Ex Is Here?
About a month or two ago I matched with a girl on tinder so we decided to go on a date but when I asked her what she wanted to do she turned down everything I asked then she said we're going to eat at a restaurant called Maria's (a Italian restaurant) I liked there food so I said sure. We get there and it turns out that her ex that she hasn't gotten over yet worked there and she was awkwardly flirting with him.
So I was already thinking about ditching but we already ordered so I decided to wait I went to the bathroom and her ex followed me I was think 'shit am I really about to fight some dude in a bathroom' but when the door closed he said "dude leaver her she's crazy had to brake up with her after a week because I caught her poking a hole in the condoms we bought".
Needless to say I ordered separate checks and that pissed her off and she said she didn't have any money I said too bad gave the guy a tip of 20 bucks for the save and decided to sit out in the parking lot she had to call her mom (or so I assume it was some older lady) to come pick her up and give her money.
I'm not talking a few minutes late, I'm talking a half hour late or anything later than that.
Excuse Me, We're Not Connecting
If we don't hit it off as friends. I haven't been in the dating world for a long time and everyone's a bit nervous on a first date. But if we couldn't just talk about movies and video games and goofy sh!t together, just have a relaxing time chatting without everything feeling like a weird competition or pageant, I knew it wasn't gonna work.
Also, people who get way too pissed off over disagreements in media taste. If casual disagreements -- not core values disagreements, just casual disagreements about gameplay preferences or special effects quality or how good the writing in a novel is -- make the other person red-faced angry, I'm moving in the other direction.
Excuse Me, Really?
Interrogating you over previous relationships based off of information gained from Facebook stalking.
For an hour.
Excuse Me, I Only Date Reds
If she greets me at their door wearing a furry outfit. I'm not against people being furries, I just don't want to go down that path, yet if ever.
Excuse Me...That'll Do It.
I went out with a guy who said he's never broken up with a girl because if you're "getting good nookie all the time, why would you give that up".
So probably that.
Excuse Me, What?Giphy
Bringing your friend to the date because you were nervous.
Bragging about your knife collection at home.
Never knew these things would come up in the first dates I've been on, but here we are.
Excuse Me, I'm UP Here
Being constantly on their phone
I had a date who was constantly snapping and messaging other people (mostly dudes) on our dinner date. She told me she was multitasking.
Go multitask your way out of my life while you're at it please.
What's something you just wouldn't tolerate from anyone on a first date? Tell us all about it!
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.
The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.
Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"