People Share How Meeting Their Lover's Family Ruined Their Relationship.

Sometimes all is well and good in a relationship before the family is met! Context can be a killer. Reddit users were asked about their experiences calling off a relationship because of their partner's family. Here's some of their stories.



1. Family crack night

I had just started dating this girl. She had a steady apprenticeship and she didn't give off this kind of vibe. So I was shocked when I met her family and I found out they liked to get together and smoke crack.

They invited me to their next 'crack night' when I first met them....At first I thought she was just teasing me but her sister confirmed it by inviting me to the next one. The mum who was in her forties, two daughters (the one I was dating was 22 her sister was 23), the sister's partner (28 and unemployed) would get together and smoke crack. The 15 year old son would also attend but wasn't allowed to do crack, only weed.

That along with multiple other things made me get out of there fast.

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Arcanistt

2. They couldn't deal with it

This will sound horrible but I met them and realized they would both likely be dead within 5 years (one had cancer, one was early 70s). Girlfriend was very clingy and I thought about having to support her emotionally through two deaths. I realized I couldn't deal with that after just losing my own parents; I ended 1.5 year relationship about a month later.

logan111

3. Thanks a lot, mom

I intended to marry my ex, but after meeting his mom a few times I couldn't do it.

She was extremely possessive of her son, and never smiled when I'm with them. I was the blame for her son not eating properly (I always cooked healthy food for him), sleeping properly (he worked 16 hours a day) dressed properly (I ironed his shirts for him when he was too busy to do it), any blame you can think of. She was also a single mom who has had two sons with two different ex-husbands, and had lots of drama with both. She wanted to retire at 45 but didn't have a stable income, so my ex had to give her money every month so she can 'retire' and not work. All in all I couldn't see myself dealing with the mom so I eventually broke it off before it was too late.

Tsuki18

4. American citizen

He was my first boyfriend in high school and my last, meeting his family freaked me out so much that I swore off relationships until I graduated college.

I'm an American citizen but was living in Asia for a time. I started high school in one of those countries. Then I met him. One day, he invited me and our friends to his house for his birthday.

I met his parents and sister at the house, and while they were nice, they treated me with some weird reverence. Everyone in town knew I was an 'Americana' and knew I spoke mainly English. At one point they gave me a tour of their house, and his folks were pressuring me to go into my boyfriend's bedroom alone with him. I said no.

They then began to talk amongst themselves. They failed to realize that I understood their language by then. Turns out that they were conspiring to get me locked in the room with their son, have their boy force sex on me, and then have the two of us marry. All this in the hopes of getting a green card for their kid and a ticket to migrate to America. Apparently my American citizenship was all they saw of me. I was 15.

I went from being that teenager anticipating her first kiss to breaking up with him the next Monday at school. Just knowing his parents were willing to ruin my life like that - nope, not having it.

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esoldelulu

5. Grandpa's final days

I dated this girl for 2 years, She was cute, but a little off.

She was very close to her grandfather, I had met him a few times before, Sweet guy. One day she gets the news that he's dying, so we drive to see him off.

Meeting the rest of the family... this is where it gets fun.

Her mom, didn't strike me as particularly eccentric at first, but once I sat down to talk to her, she started getting overly sappy, talking about marriage, but 'NO KIDS! Kids are the worst thing that can happen to you!'.. erm ok.

The aunt just wanted to argue with everyone about everything, and belittle her grown adult nieces and nephews.

Her sister was very obviously an escort (and not the expensive kind either) and almost always had some coke residue around the bottom ring of one nostril or the other.

Her brother offered me a slew of drugs while I was there. Much appreciated, but calm down man.

.....And as grandpa lay there, struggling to hold on to the last threads of life. He got to watch his entire family fall apart, mostly arguing over which of his possessions would go to who. There was also some rumors about grandpa sexually molesting family members, this made his bedside as well. It was probably the most messed up last days a person has ever experienced.

I left early, because I couldn't stand it anymore. Too much drama over a dying man. I had been contemplating how to break up with her the following few weeks after all that, when she started hanging out with her manager at work, and after work, getting rides home with him... and boning him- Good riddance.

Danr2442

6. The bomb site

I was with her for 2 years and finally met her family. Her mother was an abusive single mother that scolded her constantly and put her down because she was an insecure wreck due to her own weight issues.

I also found out that she was living in their house and there were 9 cats living indoors that would urinate and defecate on the carpets.

It was never obvious because she was well kept but upon entering her room for the first time (she always came to my place) it was a bomb site and stunk of cat urine.

I met her father a day later and found he was an abusive alcoholic who also suffered from serious cleanliness problems... (a yard full of car parts, vehicle shells and rubbish bags full of decomposing rubbish)

Being a person that likes to maintain a clean home I just couldn't do it and when I tried to talk about it to her, pre breakup she lost it and accused me of using her and screamed at me for a solid few hours about how hard it is to iron and defluff clothing just so she could be around me; Months later she's back to wearing cat piss stained clothing.

MirrorshieldOP


7. Super nice and elegant

His family was super nice and elegant and they all had high paying jobs, except for him. He said that he worked for his father's property management company, which in reality meant that his dad does property management and gives his son money. I realized this was a bad sign.

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Spaghatta111

8. Same name as his sister

His family was horrible to me, and he treated me so poorly while we were visiting (3 weeks solid because they lived in another country)

His mother constantly called me by his ex's name (I have the SAME NAME as his sister, how is it possible to get that confused with another name which both starts with a complete different letter and is much longer than mine??)

His sister wouldn't actually speak to me, or include me in any kind of conversation. Her partner was totally lovely and tried his best to include me, but the times that I spent with his sister/mother I was basically just the tag-along who was asked to hold the baby while they did things.

His dad wasn't so bad all things considered but he made snide comments about my weight, family (who he'd never met), 'lack of career aspirations' (while I was financially supporting his son who was trying to make a go of a business at the time!) and was just generally a terrible human being.

He wouldn't stick up for me or correct any of this and whenever I brought it up, would basically say I was imagining it. By the end of this trip we were sleeping in separate bedrooms and I broke up with him not long after.

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Elevensevenone


9. She's a menace

I married him anyway, but from the day I met his mom she hated me. She would rave about how much she adored his brother's girlfriends, but hated me. I tried so hard, but she hated me. My husband is her favorite and she has an unhealthy attachment to him, so I think it's not personal and more along the lines of no girl will ever be good enough for him in her eyes.

She's a menace though. She once faked an severe panic attack to keep her son's attention on her not me. The doctors at the hospital could see right through it though and knew she was faking. She called my husband the night before our wedding and told him if he married me he would be miserable for the rest of his life. When we went home for Christmas she tried to hook him up with her coworker/ Her married son. While I was right there.

We rescued a shelter dog and shortly after he broke a leg due to malnutrition in his neglectful home. She told everyone that I didn't want to pay the vet bill and asked the vet to euthanize him. She laughed at me when she learned I was depressed. She told me I was being dramatic when I started crying after receiving news of my grandpa's death.

She tells everyone that I come from a poor family and married my husband so I wouldn't have to work. I don't work right now because we just moved for his job. In reality my parents are wealthier than her. She tries to belittle me, but it honestly doesn't bother me at all anymore. I laugh when she does and it really pisses her off.

My husband thinks he can play Switzerland until his mom's hourglass empties.

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Wanderluststricken

10. Stop touching me

This was after she met -my- family. She wouldn't stop being extremely possessive of me around them (lots of kissing/inappropriate touching) then get mad when I (politely) asked her to stop. Then she lied several times. We're talking being pregnant, not being pregnant, actually being pregnant, having an abortion, having cancer. Among others. But really, her meeting my family was the beginning of the end.

Ares8675309

11. You mean...no grandkids?

We weren't at the 'marry' stage of things yet (gay marriage wasn't legal back when this happened), but we had been dating for over a year and were considering moving in together.

Apparently my girlfriend had always used a gender-neutral nickname for my name any time she talked about me to her family and she never corrected them when they said 'he'. But after a year of us dating, we were finally going to have a family dinner with them (she had already had dinner with my parents, and they loved her), and when I showed up her parents had a really sour look on their face. Apparently she hadn't told them that I am a girl until about 2 hours before the dinner was supposed to happen.

Her parents weren't actually homophobic, just severely disappointed that they wouldn't be getting grandkids (girlfriend was an only-child), and that soured the mood of the dinner. Even though you can totally be parents in a same-sex relationship, most people tend to forget that. Honestly, I'm sure they would have come around eventually. But that whole incident told me that my girlfriend wasn't ready to be out of the closet yet (one of the discussions during dinner was 'don't tell grandma'y), and I wasn't going to move in with someone just to be 'the roommate' to most of the people they know- I told her that I'd rather live by myself for now, and she got upset and we had a fight and ended up breaking up.

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partofbreakfast

12. Extremely wealthy and extremely weird

This girl was completely amazing and my best friend in the world. I loved every second of being with her and we were talking marriage, until I met her parents.

Her parents were extremely wealthy and extremely weird. Her dad was a high strung workaholic who seemed to do anything he could to stay away from his family, be it traveling for work or training for marathons. But her mom... oh my gosh... Obsessed with everything vegan and holistic, had a blatant hatred and distrust for anything artificial, especially medication. Extremely untrusting, and would flip from hot to cold on a dime. When she found out that the girl I was seeing, the 'baby of the family', and I were intimate, she began essentially bullying and shaming her for it.

She pressured her heavily to give (extremely personal and violating) details about our sex life, and then would flip her s--t when my girlfriend would cave and tell her. She found every possible excuse to shelter her and keep her as her little baby. Mind you, this was in college.

Eventually, her parents started doing things like dropping in on campus, calling her to make sure she wasn't sleeping over at my place, and guilt tripping her to stay at home as much as possible to make sure that her 21 year old daughter wasn't drinking or having sex with her longterm boyfriend. Her 3 older sisters were all free to do pretty much whatever, just not her.

I couldn't take it anymore. We split. Didn't see another choice. We literally couldn't be together unless she wanted to cut her mom off, which I didn't want her to have to do, and which she didn't wanna do either, as it would mean being isolated from her family pretty much, which I would feel completely terrible about. We kept touch in secret for a while, and her mom continued to keep a death grip on her, telling her if she slept with a man before marriage again, she would literally be disowned. She had no problem with her other daughters having sex out of wedlock either. I couldn't help but wonder 'What is wrong with this woman?' Eventually, my (then ex) told me:

Her mom was diagnosed as severely bipolar in the 80s, and refused to believe it, and decided that all doctors are liars and that medication is the devil, and refused to get any of the treatment she desperately needed.

PCP-Papi

13. Daddy issues

I loved her completely. Her father was a successful businessman and self confessed narcissist. I tried to include him in venue selection and he threw adult tantrums at each venue and told me he would not allow us to get married unless we did so on his terms. My fiance wanted a surprise wedding at our engagement party which happened to be at their house. I tried to support this idea though I knew the red flags were there. The day before we told him our intentions. He yelled at us for an hour and told me how disappointed he was in us both and how he wouldn't let us do it because there were people 'he wanted to invite' that weren't there. The whole event triggered my anxiety and 6 months later after couples counselling our relationship fell apart.

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pepperonipenetration

14. One shake of salt

My ex's family was very strange (hence why he is my ex now). It was stressful, any time I went over they would force my ex to do an hour of math before we could go out or do anything.

They also tried to be super healthy, they ate fish twice a week and wouldn't put salt on anything. They made home made soup one time, and it had no flavor in it whatsoever, so I asked for the salt and they all gave me this stare like I had just killed their dog, and proceeded to hand me the pepper. Like I don't give a crap one shake of salt isn't going to give me a heart attack!

[deleted]

15. Mr & Mrs Upper Middle Class

I used to work in central London and one sunny afternoon as I was patrolling along the Thames near Westminster a hen party asked for a photo with me. Afterwards one of them gave me her phone number (not the bride to be) and I followed it up.

She was lovely and my parents loved her. Her parents? Mr & Mrs Upper Middle Class who were dismayed that their (only) daughter was involved with a policeman.

When I proposed her parents gave an ultimatum to her. They would not pay and possibly not turn up to the wedding as 'my type' would be there.

I was up for throwing it all in and leaving my girlfriend as I'd had enough. Every time we'd been round to her parents I had to endure disapproving looks, comments, downright rudeness.

But my fianc was having none of it. We went to see them a week after the ultimatum and she literally said, 'Mum, Dad, I love you both and this hurts so much, but you can both bug off. I'm marrying him and I don't want you there or having any part of it.' And she walked out, leaving me sitting on the sofa with my bone china tea cup staring at her parents who had gone into shock I think. I followed her out and we drove home.

They didn't come to the wedding, but my parents were amazing - helping us with the cost and my Dad walked her down the aisle.

It was five years before my wife decided to contact her Mum after being ex-communicated. She was pregnant and wanted to give her Mum a chance. She kind of apologized, but they have been very distant, only seeing their (by now) three grandchildren at Christmas really and paying almost no interest. They moved some distance away ten years ago 'to be near the coast'.

20 years later we're still married, still rarely hear from the in-laws. It still hurts my wife, but as she says, it's their choice.

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Duncoppering

16. Kept them away

My husband successfully kept his entire family away from me until the week before the wedding, they all flew into town and descended upon us like carrier pigeons of evil directly from the gates of hell.

His sister told me our marriage would never be recognized by God because this was his second marriage. His parents lamented the entire time he was marrying a white girl, wipes tear, shakes head in disbelief...looks at me and sobs all over again- Yeah, we don't talk.


[deleted]
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Breaking up is hard to do.

And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.

People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.

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