We here at Knowable in no way encourage any of our fine readers to break the law. To do so would be both irresponsible and lack any sort of moral integrity.
However, if you have one of those neighbors, (You know the kinds. They gossip about you, mock your cooking at neighborhood BBQs, or hassle you about your lawn grass length a little too much), then hypothetically we couldn't prevent you from reading the suggestions below. After all, you're not breaking the law if you do. Right?
Reddit user, u/Mrs_Tomboy, wanted some advice that keeps you on the straight and narrow when they asked:
Simply Pick Up A New Hobby...Giphy
Play bagpipes without learning how to play bagpipes.
twenty years later
"Brad, winning bagpipist of the year is obviously a wonderful achievement, what inspired you to take up the instrument?"
Or Make Sure They Have The Proper Insurance...
If you have his phone number give it to the insurance company's online for them to call him about changing insurance. they will call for months from different numbers so he can't block them.
Or Realize The Road Is Open To Anyone...
Have your friends randomly park their cars right in front of his house.
Now that I have a house, I do get annoyed by this...but I don't know why. It's not like I own the road nor is it anyway inconveniencing me...
Or Repaint Parts Of Your House...
I'm seriously considering painting my garage bright pink. It's white, and my house is grey. A neighbor complained recently that they didn't match.
Pink it is then.
Or Get To Those Repairs Before The Sun Rises...
Take up playing with loud power tools very early in the morning.
A jack hammer is a good start.
Or Beef Up Your Home Security...
Mentally unbalanced bullies don't like their threatening behavior being recorded as it can be used in court as evidence against them.
You can get an entry level security camera system with 4 cameras at Costco for $160 although I would recommend investing in a better system.
It's perfectly legal to record your own property as well as public property.
You can also get fake cameras at Harbor Freight for $8 too.
Or Keep Them Darn, Pesky Crows Away...
My sister and her husband made an extremely creepy scarecrow and they have it faced from their backyard to stare into their a--hole neighbors house at all times.
Or Really Get To Those Repairs Before The Sun Comes Up...Giphy
Take the blade out of your lawnmower and "mow" your lawn every. SINGLE. DAY.
Or Take The Them To The Limits Of Sound...
Look up your local sound ordinances, usually during the day you play whatever you want as loud as you want.
I'm sure he likes the song what's new pussy cat by Tom jones
Take this further: Purchase noise canceling headphones, good ones, and sound proof a single room (Hang drapes, buy some cheap noise reducing foam ect.) and buy some ear plugs. Play the music next to his wall in the sound proofed room for like 5 hours straight through the day. No one outside the building can hear it, and neither can you. Only he can.
Or, Eventually, Take The Law Onto Your Side.
Have a lawyer draft a cease and desist letter and mail it to them via certified mail, afterwards if the issue persists call the cops on them for every instance of bullying (and write it all down), and eventually take them to court.
EDIT: Also, get cameras and set them up around the perimeter of your house so you catch your neighbors shenanigans on video.
We did this and it worked.
What were the issues that the person was doing if it's not too personal?
Abandoning garbage and debris just on our side of the property line, threatening to sue us for things we had no control over, General menacing behaviors just to be a bully.
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.
The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.
Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"