Sometimes no news is good news, because bad news sucks. Whether you find out you have a chronic illness, or your family kicks you out for no reason, life throws some serious curveballs. But you made it to Reddit! So good job.
pancakedad asked aggrieved Redditors: What's the most painful thing you've been told?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
15. That's rough.
"Oh, honey, he's been dead for years."
When I was 27, I finally worked up the courage to find my father. The internet was still relatively new, and I was able to find his sister's number. I had thought for most of my life that he just didn't want anything to do with me, that he would have a new family and zero space for me in his life.
Turns out he killed himself a couple of days before my 4th birthday. Years of anxiety that I'd held onto melted away in an instant, only to be replaced by the certainty that I would never know him.
14. Acne sucks but damn what a comeback.
"Your face reminds me of the moon, with all those little craters," told by a girl that I really liked when we went for coffee. "At least I make you feel out of this world when we hang out," I replied, which made her laugh but that still hurt since I've always been insecure about my acne and face in general.
That was a smooth comeback though not gonna lie.
Smoother than his face, to be sure.
13. This is just terrible.
*Mom with my stuff packed as I'm just getting home from school *"My husband says either you leave or he's leaving, and I don't want to lose my husband" I was 13, slept at the park for a few weeks till my grandma could come get me.
I'm so sorry, That's awful. I hope your grandma was a better mother figure in your life.
What on earth is wrong with some of these people? I'd donate my son a heart if he needed one. Make sure you keep on reminding yourself that you are fine and good, and all this was her, she's the broken defective one.
NO!! Who kicks a 13-year-old out?! I'm so sorry.
I have a son who's nearly that age now. If my fiance gave me that ultimatum, he'd be the one leaving. It would suck and it would hurt, but he's not a child. He's not MY child. My son is my priority.
I hope you're doing much better now.
12. Oof, ouch.
"We don't want to pay your tuition reimbursement because you aren't worth the money as an employee." Ouch. That one took a while to get over, and remains the most hurtful thing ever said (it replaced "you aren't underestimated" when being turned down for a job).
I can't wait until you can buy them out with your success.
I went into teaching so that's not likely :-). But in my case living well has been the best revenge.
11. I beat mine, you can too.
You have a chronic illness. No you're not going to die, just live in pain the rest of your life. Here's a list of specialists you need to go see. You might want to consider therapy.
How did you deal with that news?
It happened not that long ago. I'm still dealing, but I've honestly been living with it my whole life. It just got a lot worse last year. I'm going to rethink my career. I'm going to keep moving and get therapy. Most importantly, I'm going to forgive myself for not getting through the tough days.
Past that, I have no clue. Keep positive and enjoy everyday for what it offers. It's just pain. It could be a lot worse.
10. That stings.
"I'm having surgery tomorrow morning. I can't wait to come home."
She died on the table, it still burns 9 years later.
For what it's worth, I'm sure she can't wait for you to come home, the long way round.
Just remember there are no shortcuts, it's the long way for a reason.
I'm not very good at these kinds of things but try to take solace in knowing that she went feeling good and optimistic and she doesn't know anything sad happened.
9. Your loss.
I still love you, I will always love you, but I'm not attracted to you anymore.
Been there before. Hard to come back from that. Hope you're doing better.
Nope.. I'm broken.
Someone will glue you back together eventually, you gotta move on.
Gotta glue yourself. Ive been in the same spot. Nothing like self improvement for distraction and making a better version of yourself to be happy about.
8. Don't have kids as kids.
"I don't love you anymore." Standing there with our 5 month old and 20 month old babies while he moved out to be with an old crush.
Edit: It was a long time ago and we were young (about 22 years old when our first child was born) . Usual marriage issues faced by young, money challenged parents. He found it too hard with both children (his words). He did not visit his children (left town) or pay child support for many years. It took a long time but he did eventually grow up and we are now friends. The kids are grown up now and they have a good relationship with him. I have carried the weight of his words to this day though and it has made it really hard to trust anyone else.
'He's not breathing, we have to resuscitate him'...Midwife after my son was born. He's alright now!
Going from the happiest moment of your life, to the most terrifying. I'm glad your son is doing well.
6. Your sister sucks.
"You ruined mom and dad's lives," said my sister when I developed severe major depressive disorder and had to drop out of university.
"That's the kind of bullsh*t you should keep to yourself," said my sister several years later after I was assaulted and tried to speak openly about it for the first time.
I know it's a struggle to absorb hearing this (from experience and fallout from assault), but you are incredibly strong. What you've been through and speaking up, is heroic. More heroic than I could imagine being, and you stood up in the face of pain.
You know, if your sister does, someday, realize the depth of what she did and said, the amount of guilt she'll have to carry is surreal (I don't think most people that would say something like that risk opening themselves up enough to absorb the damage they've caused-- because how do you forgive yourself for saying something so unforgivable?).
5. At least he got to come home.
Last Christmas Eve, I called my husband's oncologist because he was readmitted to the hospital with complications from stage 4 cancer. She was lying in bed with her sleeping two year old. I have a four year old and a one year old. She told me that she was so sorry, but there was nothing left to do for my husband but make him as comfortable as possible and put him in hospice. We cried together. I called his best friend and pretty much screamed my grief into the phone so I wouldn't do it at the hospital. Then I went to the hospital and told my husband he was going to die. He asked me if hospice meant he had to live in the hospital. I told him no, it meant he never had to go to the hospital again. He died just over a month later, in our living room.
4. Sometimes the news doesn't sink in right away.
Very little was said but it was the most heart wrenching thing I could have been told. All it was was "I'm sorry."
I knew in an instant what it meant...we had been waiting on the news... my mom was dead. I had watched her die that morning, watched the paramedics take her out the door. I asked one of them if she would be okay and he said he wasn't sure. I knew it was a lie, she was already gone, but I held on to hope. I was home alone with her when it happened. My dad left work and immediately drove to the hospital she was taken to. An hour later he came to me. He looked me in the eyes and said "I'm sorry." I immediately broke down in his arms sobbing.
3. The fake number.
Me to a girl: "Can I have your number?"
Her: "Sure! Here it is!" (Writes it down).
It was the number to Pizza Hut.
After that, I swore off girls forever. Pizza Hut is my lover now.
I'm picturing this same woman seeing you again a few years later and your on a cute date with a whole pizza. Like sitting at an outside table on a busy sidewalk and she walks by and you're just staring into the pizza lovingly and when she sees you you're like "Oh my Gawl, thank you so much for setting us up!"
And AND, you have like vacation photos and you're in a relationship with Pizza Hut on Facebook.
2. Probably not the best response.
You can go kill yourself. My mum told me this after an argument we had a few days after I had told her about my suspected depression and suicidal thoughts.
I'm sorry that happen to you. I am very glad you are still here. Keep it up, we love you.
1. Normal is boring, but also...
I'm gonna have to go with "why can't you be normal?" My mom told me this when I was about 12 years old.
Do you know the babadook?
Do you have a moment to discuss our lord and savior, Babadook?
Secretly, we all fear having birthdays like the one in Sixteen Candles, where nobody shows up and we're forced to deal with how lonely we feel as people. But sometimes, people have things happen on their birthday that put Molly Ringwald to shame.
It stinks to have your special day go sour. Moreover, it hurts, that if whatever happened was bad enough, you will never be able to not associate your birthday with that awful thing.