IRL

People Share The Most Ridiculous Lies They Have Ever Heard

People who grew up with or simply know compulsive liars have some nutty stories. And now the rest of us are learning what it's like, every day, from a certain man in Washington DC. Notice the parallels...

Stark371 asked: People who know a compulsive liar, what was the most unnecessary or ridiculous lie that you heard from them?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


15. To be fair, we are hopping through multiple timelines lately.

That we went on a business trip together to Las Vegas.

We didn't even work together.

[deleted]

That's... Pretty out there.

"remember? The boys! On the loose! We went crazy! Remember!!?"

"..... No"

campex

I had someone make me a very personal, highly specific gift. One of the items in it was a reference to a bike trip that I was not involved with in any way, but the gifter swears up and down I was, and that it was one of our main bonding experiences.

cryptidkelp

14. When your story burns to the ground.

This girl in elementary school (private Christian school) came to class one day sobbing her eyes out. The teacher allowed her to stand in front of the class to explain what was wrong. She had talked to the teacher beforehand. She said that she lived in an apartment complex with her family(that part was true) but that someone left the toaster on..which burnt the whole apartment down, that they barely escaped. She claimed that she now had nothing but the clothes she had on that day.

Later at the car line, the girls mother is walking from where she parked to get her. The teacher walks out with the girl and starts talking with the mom. It turns out the whole thing was a lie. There was no fire, she didn't lose anything. Nothing bad happened to her. The next year she transferred to another school.

Cannonfury

I have a story like this... but about myself.

In grade 1, we were sitting in our Monday circle and were told to tell a story about our weekend. My weird kid self took it as to make up a story about our weekend.

Apparently I went into great detail about my house burning down, we had nothing, my dog died, etc. I brought my teacher to tears and she started asking other teachers for donations for us.

My mom goes to pick me up from school, the teacher starts saying how sorry she is that all this happened to us and that they're going to do some charity thing for us. My mom is hella confused and tells her that no such thing happened.

Ever since everyone would either tell me that I'm a pathological liar, that I should write for a living, or both.

My bad, Mrs. K.

xoxrobot

13. This is the plot of 'Sick Note,' almost.

A cousin faked having leukemia for over a year.. shaved his head and eyebrows, lied to everyone including his wife. Never wanted anyone to come visit him in the hospital while he was getting chemo because 'he didn't want anyone to see him in that position'. Got exposed by a family member suprise visiting him in the hospital as they had suspicions, only to find out he wasn't a patient there. Followed him on another day he claimed to have chemo, and turns out he was screwing a woman 20 years older than him. One of many lies, but this one beats it all. He got away with it for over a year.

quarantequatre44

My stepaunt did that for a year! Shaved her head and eyebrows, wore a bandana over her baldness. It was made extra awful by the fact that at the time my mom's best friend actually had cancer.

My stepdad only found out about it bc a family friend stopped him at a gas station to tell him how sorry he was to hear about my stepdad's sister.

Stepdad: "Why?"

12. Sure.

"I wasn't cheating on you, I was trying to make you think I was cheating on you as a test, to see what you would do." He told me, during a meeting with our divorce lawyers before we went to court. His lawyer quit. At the time I was pissed, but now it makes me laugh.

hhh1978

Reading the beginning, I would've guessed this was a high school or college relationship but then I saw "divorce lawyers" and I couldn't stop laughing 😂

spencerandy16

11. What a total self-own.

My boyfriend in college lied about everything; his age, that he was a transfer student from Princeton, the type of car he had back home, girls hitting on him, etc. The biggest lie he told was when I was going to break up with him, he said he would kill himself. I did not believe him and went home. He proceeded to take an entire bottle of pain relievers. His brother took him to the emergency room and had his stomach pumped. There was nothing in his stomach.

Intuitivelatina

By all accounts, stomach pumping is not pleasant. What an own goal.

chochazel

10. Trumpian. 

My first boyfriend Cody was a pathological liar. One night we were chilling in his mom's truck listening to music when my favorite song comes on. I exclaimed that I loved the song and he said I know, that's why I called and requested it for you... When he was just b!tching about not having minutes on his phone. So dumb.. why even lie about that?

KidneyStew

My first girlfriend was also a pathological liar. When we first started dating she told me she had a twin sister who was living in Japan. When I met her parents they had no idea what I was talking about when I brought up her sister. Still the most awkward experience of my life.

MrChucklz

It's a genuine compulsion for some people. They can't feel relaxed or calm unless they lie.

SuperHotelWorker

9. Also Trumpian, but with racism.

"I cry blood"

"My femur snapped in half when I was jump roping in my driveway"

"I got so tan in Mexico they detained me at the border because they thought I was a Mexican trying to sneak in"

"I never get sunburn" later says "One time I got third degree sunburn because it was 129 degrees when I was on vacation in Indiana"

All from the same girl, just why?

newadvs

Lmaooo this reminds me of a girl who told everyone in high school that she was pregnant but "the baby is stuck in my back."

WHAT??? Lol

Throwaway4510987

8. Always fun to watch a liar get their comeuppance.

Kid at work said he was skateboarding with his friends and a car hit him, breaking both of his legs and the truck that hit him drove off.

But one of his friends was so heroic and chased the truck, and kicked the guys @ss for the hit and run.

What this kid didn't realize is that his childhood friend worked with us. I was asking his friend about the accident, wondering if he was there to witness it. His friend laughing his @ss off, saying that never happened.

His friend then proceeded to call him out on the bullsh*t.

It was like a public execution. I kind of wish I never said anything.

McScuseMeBinch

I kind of wish I never said anything.

Nah you did good. If people don't get called out for their bullshit they think they can get away with everything which can lead to very bad behaviour.

Alexzz_

7. Trumpian again.

Dude in high school:

Said he got into Vanderbilt, didn't even get into the local college.

Said he was born dead and has died twice and was revived.

Said he got all of his fingers cut off and they're all "robotic" under the skin.

groxom

Somewhere, there is a super intelligent, thrice dead, half man half machine absolutely pissed right now.

PeachSodaPunk

i love this because i can 100% see him calling himself this verbatim.

groxom

6. Some people need to plan their lies better.

So this guy that grew up with my and my cousin was like that. I am 2 years older than my cousin, and this guy, Buddy, was in my cousin's grade. Well Buddy gets himself a fake ID and went telling everyone that he was 19 (drinking age here is 18). He tried to convince me for a week that he was 19, even showing me the ID every time I called bullsh*t. I shut all this down at a party when I asked him, in front of everyone, how he managed to repeat a grade 3 times to end up in the same class as my cousin. Now there were 2 options everyone could take as a truth, 1, he failed the 7th grade 3 times, or 2, he was full of sh*t and was only 17. He came clean on it but that didnt stop him from spewing his bullsh*t.

ifaptotheexercist

5. We had a president like this.

She got into Yale.

She also fails miserably at spelling basic words.

drdybrd419

I was kinda skimming over the comments, and I read that as, 'She also fails miserably at spelling backwards'.

Damn. I also can't spell things backwards with any amount of success. And I don't even have an acceptance to Yale to hang the hat I don't own on.

MashTactics

Did she spell Yale with a 6?

Sora20XX

4. Who wouldn't want to perform in a fake, impromptu concert?

My Dad's mum had a real issue with this. The one that sticks out the most for me from all the stories my dad has is... one day they were waiting at the bus stop to take my dad to school when my Nan strikes up a conversation with another lady and tells her they are going to the airport as her son is a prodigious pianist due to give a concert. My poor dad was still at the age where you believe things your parents say, as such he was distressed to find out he was going to the airport in his school uniform with no suitcase to play the piano disappointingly. God love her, she made great pies, may she rest in peace!

lekis-skegsis

My Mum unintentionally does this sort of thing quite often - I once got a Katherine Mansfield award (a lovely chance to visit the local childhood home of a kiwi author and a certificate) and she very excitedly told everyone I had won the Katherine Mansfield scholarship (a paid, extensive trip to France to write a novel). There are all sorts of things my extended family congratulate us on that I have to say, well actually... Shes not a liar though, just proud and not big on details.

Tammytalkstoomuch

3. But like, why though?

In high school I dated a guy and it was a few weeks before the last of the Harry Potter books came out. He claimed that a family friend knew JK Rowling so he had received a copy of the book in advance and had already read it. I knew they were keeping everything very secret and that he was obviously lying. For some reason I got stubborn and kept asking him for plots points and details about the book, which he of course couldn't answer. We got in a fight about it and it got so bad that every time we talked on the phone and I even mentioned the book he instantly hung up on me. He also lied about other stupid stuff, such as meeting Tyra Banks, skydiving and driving a distance between two towns of 50 km (31 miles) in 10 minutes. Very sweet guy apart from the ridiculous lies, though.

Miss_Forest

2. A whole ounce? Sure.

Driving around all day trying to score weed. After two hours dickhead in back seat pipes up: "Too bad you guys didn't pick me up sooner. I had an ounce!"

Us: "What happened to it?"

Idiot: "I smoked it!"

F*ckface then threatens to fight us for calling him full of sh*t.

Penelepillar

My brother is a liar. He gets violent when I call him in his sh*t. Is this a common reaction that liars have once they're found out?

jdman5000

I think the ones that react violently to being called out to obvious lies are just not intelligent enough to participate in conversation in any other way.

After all, they only know how to do two things; make things up, or scream at you. Basically, a "Might makes Right" mentality, where being louder or punching first is the only way they can 'win' a conversation.

I've met too many of that type of person. They are not worth the effort.

AmishHoeFights

1. Taking cues from the president.

My MIL lies all the time. Mostly about buying us stuff. It's like she thinks because she said it, she's an amazing person and it actually happened?

A few examples: we had a baby last year, and when I was pregnant she told me she bought me a stroller. I was like wow tysm, that's amazing. I never got a stroller and my baby is 13 months old.

This Christmas she told me she got our baby a shape sorter. So I returned the one we bought her so it wouldn't be an awkward double gift. She wasn't given a shape sorter for Christmas. I re-bought it later.

It's just weird. I don't expect her to buy me things, but I used to not get stuff I needed because she'd tell me she got it for me already. Now I just ignore her.

But now we are looking to by a house and she told my impressionable husband that there is some land that his (deceased) grandpa bought for the grandkids to sell/use when it gained value, that she never mentioned before even though my husband knows about grandpa's other real investments. My husband totally believes he's going to get 50,000$ or something. Like no dude, it doesn't exist.

Oh and my husband used to do it too but I nipped that. A male friend bought me a music box of my favorite song for Christmas. My (then BF) husband was jealous, I think, and told me he'd already bought me a jewelry box for Christmas. He also said he'd gotten me some shoes. Never got either lol.

PM_ME_DAD__BODS

In most situations, when you're hurt by someone, it can be best to just forgive and forget. However, there are some people that can't help but hold grudges. Sometimes it can just be petty, but other times, it can be for very valid reasons.

HeySistaBrutus asked: What are you STILL mad about?

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