People Share The Most Ridiculous Lies They Have Ever Heard

People who grew up with or simply know compulsive liars have some nutty stories. And now the rest of us are learning what it's like, every day, from a certain man in Washington DC. Notice the parallels...

Stark371 asked: People who know a compulsive liar, what was the most unnecessary or ridiculous lie that you heard from them?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

15. To be fair, we are hopping through multiple timelines lately.

That we went on a business trip together to Las Vegas.

We didn't even work together.


That's... Pretty out there.

"remember? The boys! On the loose! We went crazy! Remember!!?"

"..... No"


I had someone make me a very personal, highly specific gift. One of the items in it was a reference to a bike trip that I was not involved with in any way, but the gifter swears up and down I was, and that it was one of our main bonding experiences.


14. When your story burns to the ground.

This girl in elementary school (private Christian school) came to class one day sobbing her eyes out. The teacher allowed her to stand in front of the class to explain what was wrong. She had talked to the teacher beforehand. She said that she lived in an apartment complex with her family(that part was true) but that someone left the toaster on..which burnt the whole apartment down, that they barely escaped. She claimed that she now had nothing but the clothes she had on that day.

Later at the car line, the girls mother is walking from where she parked to get her. The teacher walks out with the girl and starts talking with the mom. It turns out the whole thing was a lie. There was no fire, she didn't lose anything. Nothing bad happened to her. The next year she transferred to another school.


I have a story like this... but about myself.

In grade 1, we were sitting in our Monday circle and were told to tell a story about our weekend. My weird kid self took it as to make up a story about our weekend.

Apparently I went into great detail about my house burning down, we had nothing, my dog died, etc. I brought my teacher to tears and she started asking other teachers for donations for us.

My mom goes to pick me up from school, the teacher starts saying how sorry she is that all this happened to us and that they're going to do some charity thing for us. My mom is hella confused and tells her that no such thing happened.

Ever since everyone would either tell me that I'm a pathological liar, that I should write for a living, or both.

My bad, Mrs. K.


13. This is the plot of 'Sick Note,' almost.

A cousin faked having leukemia for over a year.. shaved his head and eyebrows, lied to everyone including his wife. Never wanted anyone to come visit him in the hospital while he was getting chemo because 'he didn't want anyone to see him in that position'. Got exposed by a family member suprise visiting him in the hospital as they had suspicions, only to find out he wasn't a patient there. Followed him on another day he claimed to have chemo, and turns out he was screwing a woman 20 years older than him. One of many lies, but this one beats it all. He got away with it for over a year.


My stepaunt did that for a year! Shaved her head and eyebrows, wore a bandana over her baldness. It was made extra awful by the fact that at the time my mom's best friend actually had cancer.

My stepdad only found out about it bc a family friend stopped him at a gas station to tell him how sorry he was to hear about my stepdad's sister.

Stepdad: "Why?"

12. Sure.

"I wasn't cheating on you, I was trying to make you think I was cheating on you as a test, to see what you would do." He told me, during a meeting with our divorce lawyers before we went to court. His lawyer quit. At the time I was pissed, but now it makes me laugh.


Reading the beginning, I would've guessed this was a high school or college relationship but then I saw "divorce lawyers" and I couldn't stop laughing 😂


11. What a total self-own.

My boyfriend in college lied about everything; his age, that he was a transfer student from Princeton, the type of car he had back home, girls hitting on him, etc. The biggest lie he told was when I was going to break up with him, he said he would kill himself. I did not believe him and went home. He proceeded to take an entire bottle of pain relievers. His brother took him to the emergency room and had his stomach pumped. There was nothing in his stomach.


By all accounts, stomach pumping is not pleasant. What an own goal.


10. Trumpian. 

My first boyfriend Cody was a pathological liar. One night we were chilling in his mom's truck listening to music when my favorite song comes on. I exclaimed that I loved the song and he said I know, that's why I called and requested it for you... When he was just b!tching about not having minutes on his phone. So dumb.. why even lie about that?


My first girlfriend was also a pathological liar. When we first started dating she told me she had a twin sister who was living in Japan. When I met her parents they had no idea what I was talking about when I brought up her sister. Still the most awkward experience of my life.


It's a genuine compulsion for some people. They can't feel relaxed or calm unless they lie.


9. Also Trumpian, but with racism.

"I cry blood"

"My femur snapped in half when I was jump roping in my driveway"

"I got so tan in Mexico they detained me at the border because they thought I was a Mexican trying to sneak in"

"I never get sunburn" later says "One time I got third degree sunburn because it was 129 degrees when I was on vacation in Indiana"

All from the same girl, just why?


Lmaooo this reminds me of a girl who told everyone in high school that she was pregnant but "the baby is stuck in my back."

WHAT??? Lol


8. Always fun to watch a liar get their comeuppance.

Kid at work said he was skateboarding with his friends and a car hit him, breaking both of his legs and the truck that hit him drove off.

But one of his friends was so heroic and chased the truck, and kicked the guys @ss for the hit and run.

What this kid didn't realize is that his childhood friend worked with us. I was asking his friend about the accident, wondering if he was there to witness it. His friend laughing his @ss off, saying that never happened.

His friend then proceeded to call him out on the bullsh*t.

It was like a public execution. I kind of wish I never said anything.


I kind of wish I never said anything.

Nah you did good. If people don't get called out for their bullshit they think they can get away with everything which can lead to very bad behaviour.


7. Trumpian again.

Dude in high school:

Said he got into Vanderbilt, didn't even get into the local college.

Said he was born dead and has died twice and was revived.

Said he got all of his fingers cut off and they're all "robotic" under the skin.


Somewhere, there is a super intelligent, thrice dead, half man half machine absolutely pissed right now.


i love this because i can 100% see him calling himself this verbatim.


6. Some people need to plan their lies better.

So this guy that grew up with my and my cousin was like that. I am 2 years older than my cousin, and this guy, Buddy, was in my cousin's grade. Well Buddy gets himself a fake ID and went telling everyone that he was 19 (drinking age here is 18). He tried to convince me for a week that he was 19, even showing me the ID every time I called bullsh*t. I shut all this down at a party when I asked him, in front of everyone, how he managed to repeat a grade 3 times to end up in the same class as my cousin. Now there were 2 options everyone could take as a truth, 1, he failed the 7th grade 3 times, or 2, he was full of sh*t and was only 17. He came clean on it but that didnt stop him from spewing his bullsh*t.


5. We had a president like this.

She got into Yale.

She also fails miserably at spelling basic words.


I was kinda skimming over the comments, and I read that as, 'She also fails miserably at spelling backwards'.

Damn. I also can't spell things backwards with any amount of success. And I don't even have an acceptance to Yale to hang the hat I don't own on.


Did she spell Yale with a 6?


4. Who wouldn't want to perform in a fake, impromptu concert?

My Dad's mum had a real issue with this. The one that sticks out the most for me from all the stories my dad has is... one day they were waiting at the bus stop to take my dad to school when my Nan strikes up a conversation with another lady and tells her they are going to the airport as her son is a prodigious pianist due to give a concert. My poor dad was still at the age where you believe things your parents say, as such he was distressed to find out he was going to the airport in his school uniform with no suitcase to play the piano disappointingly. God love her, she made great pies, may she rest in peace!


My Mum unintentionally does this sort of thing quite often - I once got a Katherine Mansfield award (a lovely chance to visit the local childhood home of a kiwi author and a certificate) and she very excitedly told everyone I had won the Katherine Mansfield scholarship (a paid, extensive trip to France to write a novel). There are all sorts of things my extended family congratulate us on that I have to say, well actually... Shes not a liar though, just proud and not big on details.


3. But like, why though?

In high school I dated a guy and it was a few weeks before the last of the Harry Potter books came out. He claimed that a family friend knew JK Rowling so he had received a copy of the book in advance and had already read it. I knew they were keeping everything very secret and that he was obviously lying. For some reason I got stubborn and kept asking him for plots points and details about the book, which he of course couldn't answer. We got in a fight about it and it got so bad that every time we talked on the phone and I even mentioned the book he instantly hung up on me. He also lied about other stupid stuff, such as meeting Tyra Banks, skydiving and driving a distance between two towns of 50 km (31 miles) in 10 minutes. Very sweet guy apart from the ridiculous lies, though.


2. A whole ounce? Sure.

Driving around all day trying to score weed. After two hours dickhead in back seat pipes up: "Too bad you guys didn't pick me up sooner. I had an ounce!"

Us: "What happened to it?"

Idiot: "I smoked it!"

F*ckface then threatens to fight us for calling him full of sh*t.


My brother is a liar. He gets violent when I call him in his sh*t. Is this a common reaction that liars have once they're found out?


I think the ones that react violently to being called out to obvious lies are just not intelligent enough to participate in conversation in any other way.

After all, they only know how to do two things; make things up, or scream at you. Basically, a "Might makes Right" mentality, where being louder or punching first is the only way they can 'win' a conversation.

I've met too many of that type of person. They are not worth the effort.


1. Taking cues from the president.

My MIL lies all the time. Mostly about buying us stuff. It's like she thinks because she said it, she's an amazing person and it actually happened?

A few examples: we had a baby last year, and when I was pregnant she told me she bought me a stroller. I was like wow tysm, that's amazing. I never got a stroller and my baby is 13 months old.

This Christmas she told me she got our baby a shape sorter. So I returned the one we bought her so it wouldn't be an awkward double gift. She wasn't given a shape sorter for Christmas. I re-bought it later.

It's just weird. I don't expect her to buy me things, but I used to not get stuff I needed because she'd tell me she got it for me already. Now I just ignore her.

But now we are looking to by a house and she told my impressionable husband that there is some land that his (deceased) grandpa bought for the grandkids to sell/use when it gained value, that she never mentioned before even though my husband knows about grandpa's other real investments. My husband totally believes he's going to get 50,000$ or something. Like no dude, it doesn't exist.

Oh and my husband used to do it too but I nipped that. A male friend bought me a music box of my favorite song for Christmas. My (then BF) husband was jealous, I think, and told me he'd already bought me a jewelry box for Christmas. He also said he'd gotten me some shoes. Never got either lol.


Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.