Believe it or not, it takes little to show someone that you care.
After Redditor seamonkeybuns asked the online community "What's a simple romantic gesture that actually means a lot?" many chimed in and proved that sentiment true.
"I'm pretty badly allergic to red dye..."
I'm pretty badly allergic to red dye in food/drinks, not to the point of anaphylactic shock however my throat starts to close up almost immediately. I'm usually careful but I've slipped up twice while with my boyfriend. The first time way worse than the second, the first I luckily found some extra Benadryl as he watched me rip through two first aid kits at our job (grocery store, different departments). The second time was in his Jeep after eating a mint, which wasn't nearly as bad, some coughing and swelling but much easier to manage.
I was actually embarrassed to ask if he had any type of medication in his car because at that current moment we were fighting over something stupid. I made a comment about leaving some Benadryl in his console or glovebox in case I ever needed it, to which he didn't think would matter since he purposely looks at the ingredient lists now ever since incident one happened.
A couple days ago, after making a joke about drinking something with red dye to be able to get out of work, told me he put Benadryl in his Jeep so 'that plan wouldn't work'. I didn't believe him until he physically pulled a box of it out.
Not only does he make an extra effort to read ingredients now for me just in case but he also keeps extra Benadryl nearby so if we're ever out somewhere and I need it immediately. I still can't get over how sweet that is..
Remembering something they said along time ago that hasn't been talked about since. Shows you listened and cared enough to remember it.
"When she looks at me..."
When she looks at me and smiles for no particular reason other than she's happy to be spending time with me.
"Kissing their head..."
Kissing their head or cheek as you go by or just stopping to give a hug randomly.
"Light hand on the thigh..."Giphy
Light non sexual touching.
Light hand on the thigh while riding in the car. Brushing your hand over the small of their back when passing behind. Drawing your fingers over their skin affectionately when sitting together.
"Then we yell back..."
My fiancé always gives me goodbye kisses every morning. Even if I'm dead to the world, drooling, or have horrible morning breath. He kisses me 3 times. First time is to find my lips/wake me up enough, second one is a good long kiss and the last one is the goodbye kiss. Then we yell back and forth saying "I love you " "I miss you" "have a good day " until he walks out the front door. It's so simple and a lot of times I'm too far asleep to actually talk so all my replies are mumbles but they absolutely make my day.
"Acting like you're proud..."
Acting like you're proud to be with them, especially in front of your friends. Not cringey PDA but like occasionally handholding, arm around etc. I felt like my long term ex was embarrassed of me and that we were more than just friends, and not until I dated someone else I realised how simple and important it is.
My boyfriend always boils water when I visit without asking because he knows I always like a tea.
"Bring me my favorite razor..."
Forehead kisses, effort that is put forth without me having to demand it, blatant honesty, simple grabs of my hips or waist or shoulders in public that make me feel safe, super subtle gestures that show you give a sh*t even if you're being a mouthy ass or a tease
Grabbing simple sh*t from the store for me just because... stuff like that. That's what shows you give a f*ck and pay attention. Bring me my favorite razor or bath bomb or even toothpaste, whatever. That shows deeper meaning than a lot of grand gestures do.
"Cleaning the snow..."
Cleaning the snow and ice off their vehicle early in the morning.
"Sometimes my boyfriend..."Giphy
Sometimes my boyfriend will gently grab my chin and kiss me. It makes me absolutely melt. He also randomly shows up with coffee some mornings and I'm always happy about surprise caffeine.
"Well, if it's a guy..."
Well, if it's a guy or in my own personal case, I'd like to think that affectionate gestures such as bear hugs or say petting/stroking someone's head is pretty meaningful. A lot of us didn't get the affection we needed from our parents, especially guys. They are expected to be "manly men" and don't get affection nearly at all. Remember, it's perfectly OK to be a soft sensitive man. And remember, give all your strong friends tons of hugs-they may not show it but sometimes, we really do need them.
"When they show up..."
When they show up to support you without being asked. Someone I was seeing once showed up to visit me in hospital without being asked. It was such a huge gesture for me. If i didn't have an IV in I would have scaled him like a monkey climbing a tree.
Making sure they get to their destination before leaving. For example: wait to see your SO go up to their apartment after a date, and probably wait for a while later just in case.
"We only started going out a month ago..."
We only started going out a month ago (Tinder), but a couple of things make me smile already:
-He works really hard at his job, and had to stay late at the office last night, but he still rang me as he was going to bed, even though he was knackered.
-When I went to visit my parents in Holland and he rang me to tell that he'd been doing some research and he found out that the Dutch created orange carrots (that made me melt, really showed he wanted to show an interest in where I'm from).
-If he has to take a call from work while I am there, he touches my arm or hip every so often during the conversation. Makes me feel like he'd rather be spending time with me instead, even though his job is important to him.
"I really like it..."
I really like it when my wife snuggles up close to me and tells me that she loves me. Unfortunately, due to some past traumas, she doesn't do it much (we are still deeply in love and she shows her affection in other ways) so it's a lovely surprise when she does
"Some things that mean a lot..."
Some things that mean a lot to me are when they get me coffee whenever we wake up, washing my body/helping me rinse in the shower, cuddling me when I haven't asked, and good night kisses.
"Whenever I'm putting on my makeup..."
Whenever I'm putting on my makeup, my husband always steals a kiss from me right before I put my lipstick on. It's not much, but it's such a sweet little habit we have and it means a lot to me.
"He always gives me..."
He always gives me the cherries off his sundaes and milkshakes.
We're not cuddly sleepers, but I always fall asleep with his hand touching some part of my body, and I often wake up with his hand under my pillow.
We never, no matter how angry we may be, hang up the phone without saying I love you.
And lastly....we met in high school and started dating 19 years ago. Before we even started dating, we were at a party with one of those white elephant parties. I REALLY wanted this goat beanie baby thing, but this chick and all her friends kept stealing it. By the end of the game, I didn't have it and was super bummed about it. Monday morning rolled around and he showed up with a shoebox wrapped in the Sunday cartoons. Inside the box was a goat like the one I'd been trying to win. Stupid me...still took me another year to realize he was into me and for us to become a couple.
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Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.