People Share The Best "Fire Me, I Dare You" Moments--And We're Clapping 👏
We should know our worth when we are working. This goes for anyplace: school, our jobs, our home life. And we know when we can stare somebody in the face when they're challenging our worth.
asked the wide world of Reddit:
Here were some of those answers.
Ha Ha, Not So Easy Is ItGiphy
Worked for a newspaper, editing and actually putting the paper together. Arranging it all, placing stories and pictures where they need to be. Titling, quoting and sourcing everything. I was a one man team and used an overly complicated system that I figured out how to use really effectively. They treated me like sh*t, set impossible deadlines and berated me for not meeting them.
One day the boss tells me to fully put a paper done by the end of the day, gave me no warning, I had no articles from the journalists and no photos from photographers. It was my job to collect it all from everyone and he wants me to do it in a single day? I told him no, if he wants it done, he has to give me more time. He tells me if I don't have it done by the end of the day I'm fired, I tell him that this paper can't function without me. He tells me I need to "take the day off and cool my temper" and that he'll do my job for me. Get a call an hour after I get home that he needs me to come in and do it and I can have as much time as I need. Promptly quit on that *sshole, f*ck your sh*tty newspaper.
Husband was having his gallbladder taken out and was having complications before surgery. I needed to leave early from work for about two hours and my boss threw a fit stating I couldn't leave. I told her I had 300 hours of sick time I can use for myself and my husband and if she wanted to push I'd take all of it at once... Leaving no one but her to do my job. She said she'd fire me if I tried... I just looked at her and said I have to go ill send you my doctor's note.
I wasn't fired. I was actually awarded that year for job performance.
Nice Work, Tribunal
When I was 17 I worked a summer holiday job at Pizza Hutt - I had transferred to my home town restaurant from my University town restaurant.
I was there for 5 weeks and hadn't been paid yet. The boss claimed it was because I gave him the wrong employee number. I hadn't.
Anyway after 5 weeks of no pay I rang him on New Years' Eve (ie busiest night of the summer) and said I wasn't coming to work because I wasn't a volunteer and I wasn't going to work for free. He told me if I didn't go to work I may as well not come back as I would be fired.
I didn't go to work and had a fun New Years instead.
Then a few days later I called the Employment Tribunal (I'm in New Zealand) and told them what had happened. They called my dickhead boss. He then called me, offered me my job back and was nice as pie for the rest of the summer.
Support For SupportGiphy
Ha!! I worked at an unspecified telecom a few years ago. I was a senior manager in charge of programming, third level support, and production support. A business unit bullied through code changes (made by the business side through a side deal with a legacy programmer in the data center, circumventing my team, QA and production testing) that just had to get implemented immediately without going through any testing at all. I refused, the CIO overruled me. 72 hours later, phone activations had ground to a halt, customers nationwide were screaming, and the CIO called phone conference after phone conference demanding timelines for when I was going to get this sh*t fixed. He kept screaming to have members of my team to get on the phone and explain themselves to him. I refused.
Finally I snapped and told him that if he wanted me to fix HIS mistake I would need to get off the f*cking phone go work with my teams, and the only reason they hadn't walked out yet was that I was keeping him off their *sses, but we would all happily go together. 24ish hours later QA and my team had the bullsh*t cleaned up and fixed for a clean rollout.
This was all to avoid a 24 hour delay for QA/production testing. I wish I could say that was the only/worst time.
Shoulda Given The Raise
Over the first year I worked there, I essentially took over most of the tasks in my department which were previously held by other departments and was done badly because of it.
This lead to a massive increase in productivity. I then found out I was paid significantly less than what others were making and others in my position across the industry were making.
So I go to my boss and tell them I had done all this work increasing productivity and I would like to discuss a raise. They said no.
So I work there for another year, asking for a raise every now and again until I was offered a job that paid double. It didn't start for a couple months so I held on to that job until I was set to submit my two weeks. I asked for a raise again, thinking "what the hell why not."
My boss goes off, tells me I wont get a raise and says some.....very colorful things about it.
It culminated with her telling me "if you don't like your pay, maybe we should evaluate your future at this company" to which I replied "Already have, I took another job and this was your last chance to offer me what I deserve. I quit." and walked out of that office.
Friends told me that my sudden departure caused a massive backup of work that ended with my manager being fired for it.
It's Too Late To 'Pologize
Worked a job where I'm the only one who knows how to take apart, clean, fix, and put all the equipment back together and do the weekly and monthly maintenance.
Had a boss tell me one day that I was doing a poor job and not doing enough and that anyone could do it. If I didn't step up I would be fired or else as they had manuals for each piece of equipment.
So that night I took apart all the equipment (weekly and monthly stuff too), cleaned them, and then just left it apart for them to figure out that morning. Then I turned off my phone after getting home for the entire day as I had the day off.
When I turned it back on the next day I saw that I had initially received angry texts ordering me to return and put everything back together. This lasted an hour. Then texts saying I risked being fired. Then texts begging me to return. Then more texts trying to compromise with OT. Then an apology before nothing else for the rest of the day other than that the head boss wanted to see me as soon as I came in the next day.
Came in the next day and over half the stuff was still not put together and what had been put together was put together haphazardly and would need to be taken out again then put back in correctly. Was immediately asked to be seen by my boss and their boss to explain myself the moment I was seen entering.
Once in the office I told them that if they weren't there to apologise then just fire me then and there or drop it and let me put all the stuff back together. They looked at each other and then told me that I could get back to work.
Boss never called me lazy again.
Radioshack Retro Time
Worked for Radioshack and always butted heads with the District Manager. He wanted me to use these ridiculous sales techniques that might work in a big city but were really pushy. The year he became our DM I won a contest for best salesman in the whole company, out of about 14,000 employees, and I did it without being pushy and forcing stuff on people. He still tried to get me to use these ridiculous techniques each month when he would visit, but after I won the contest I stopped sugar coating it and would flat out tell him "that's stupid, I'm not going to do it that way".
The Sick Rules
Put in my two weeks notice at wildly understaffed job. 6 days later got sick. I call around and see if anyone can take my shift. No one is available.
Tried to call out that morning. Sh*tty manager tries to persuade me to come in even though I am barfing everywhere. I non-commitally agree to call in later in the day to see if I am feeling up to coming in anyway.
Call back, say I am still sick and will not be coming in. Manager blows up at me in front of customers, being rude as f*ck. Eventually asks what I expect to do about the shift needing to be covered. I say I have done everything I am required to and it sounds like a management problem to me. Hang up and turn my phone off.
The Law Is Of My Side
For the past few years I've worked at one of the "nicer" restaurants in my small beach town. I'm one of the only servers there who cares about doing a good and I'm the only one who doesn't take a smoke break every 15 minutes.
This past summer a new, very illegal, rule was implemented that if we messed up an order in anyway we would be liable to pay for that messed up food. I usually didn't have a problem with mess ups so I didn't bring up the legality of this matter since I make good money and don't want to start fires in places that don't concern me.
That is, until I rang in a 'Cherry Glazed Burger' instead of a 'Cherry Glazed Steak' (each stylized CGB and CGS in our sh*tty computer system) I fixed this with the kitchen, but not before they had already started the burger. I told my manager and she just gave me a disappointed and told me that the rules are the rules. I then dived into both federal and state workers rights code and told her she would never see me again if I found any money out of my tips at the end of the night. Never had a problem fixing an order again.
Was working in a restaurant, already knew I was sick but our managers were a--holes and I knew if I called in they'd be extremely pissy. Showed up to work around 8am, by 9am I knew I wasn't gonna last the rest of the day, managers still made me stay.
Around 9:30 I was pre-bussing my tables and just the site of half eaten food pushed me over the edge, managed to hold my vomit until I got to the dishwashing area but puked in a trashcan immediately after putting my plates down.
A coworker saw me and vouched for me when I went to tell my manager I was leaving for the doctor, he said, "Even with a doctors note, if you leave work today you'll be fired." I said, "You have human waste in a kitchen trashcan and haven't even done anything about it, it's on camera, I'm leaving."
Showed up for work a few days later and didn't hear anything about it. Ended up quitting a few weeks later for a job at a couple considerably higher scale restaurant.
Worked at a convenience store. My coworker and I were classmates and were 16-17 at the time. Place was broken into, food and drinks were stolen and I came to work with the owner and his daughter yelling at my coworker.
He was pissed and wanted us two to be liable for the damages.
So he threatened to fire me and my coworker, but my coworker told him that he'll have to clean up with only his daughter, the owner mellowed out, but we quit a week later when we found out it was the daughter that let her friends steal and roughed the place up to make it look like it was a break in.
Place shut down a few years later because of violations.
I used to work at a small, family owned grocery store for a few years. We got our load in on Mondays and Thursdays, and we got passed over one Monday and the distributer said we'd get the missing load in on Thursday. So, what essentially happened was a double load and my two receiving partners were out sick. I was the only person in the warehouse/receiving at the time, and got to take on 15+ pallets of groceries that needed to hit the shelves immediately.
I was specifically told to not go up front, and to do what I could while the front end crew covered the aisles and cash registers. Well, a lot of them were either lazy, untrained, or just putting in their hours so they could pay bills. I put in my earbud, just one, and get to work. I'm halfway through checking in the pallets when I get called up front. So I ignore it and continue. Then I get called again. So I head up there and get yelled at by a new hire with a bad attitude to "do your job and bag for me!" The customer was a regular and we got along very well, and she told me that she was fine and could bag her own groceries.
Between the customer and the fact that I wasn't having it, I walked away. I had 3 years and 2 ranks on her, so I didn't give half of a shit and went back to my pallets. Then I get the newest hotshot manager, who replaced the old hotshot manager, who replaced the beloved manager who trained basically the whole store, in my face about having an earbud in on the clock (which is allowed as long as you have on ear free) and said I could be sent home and not come back if I wanted to listen to music, so I gestured to the pallets and said "go for it, these all need to be checked in and broken down. Have fun."
I got to keep my earbud in.
Split The Difference
Important note: My usual job was 3am-noon and I was sleeping from 5pm-1am. A split shift meant working 4:30am-8am and coming back to 7pm-11:30pm. (If I remember right.)
I had been working a series of split shifts and the wacky sleep schedule was really getting to me. I was told I would only need to do it three days in a row, but then it became four days...and then finally I went to sleep after the 4th shift, got woken up to my boss calling me and telling me I would have to work one more split shift. I told him "No" and that I would come in for my usual schedule. He started to argue with me and asking me why it was a big deal especially since I had worked it almost every day this week, so why not work one more? When I explained I was having issues with sleep and that I wouldn't come in he was like, "But it's your job! I am scheduling you for another split shift." And I just yelled at him, "Then I don't need this job!"
He started apologizing and that he would let me get some sleep. I hung up.
I went to work the next morning for my usual split and everyone there was surprised to see me. My boss had told everyone he thought I might not show up at all and wasn't sure if I had quit. I worked my usual shift, my boss came in at 8am, and began apologizing right away when he saw me. Then he said, "If working a split was so hard on you, you could have told me no!" I just turned and went to lunch.
Raising The Bar
First kitchen I worked in, they told me, the more jobs I learned, the more I'd get paid (came in basically knowing all of it anyway). 6 months later I had learned every job there except 1 spot. They told me if i learned that spot, I'd get a raise, I told them I could find a new kitchen (i was easily one of the best employees there), and that i was told the more i learned the more id get paid, and i still hadn't been given a raise. Head Chef cracked and gave me a raise. I told him 50 cents wasn't enough. He was forced to give me another.
2 weeks after that, they fired the banquet chef's assistant (we had a lot of 300+ people events) and told him to pick his new assistant, he immediately requested me. I told them i needed another raise, I was told no again, again I said I'll find a new job, came in the next day and put my 2 weeks in (yup, found a job that quick) Wound up making more money in that kitchen than anyone beside the banquet chef and the head chef.
That's how i wound up getting 3 raises in a month.
The More You NO
Worked at a cancer nonprofit.
Hired a lady who knew about us because her kid had cancer.
Boss wanted me to fire her because she had to come in late or leave early to take her kid to chemo.
I refused. Boss said she'd fire me if I didn't. I told her she could go right ahead. Our CEO said no way.
A "manager" threatened to fire me because I wouldn't make some system changes that would have led the company very open to a cyber attack. I had recorded a phone call between the manager and I where I explained the risk and that we needed someone more senior to sign off on that risk before I would make the change. He swore at me and told me just to fucking do it which was all captured on the recording.
He didn't know I was recording.
At the HR meeting where he was going to effectively fire me, I insisted on bringing representation and at the time the policy said I could bring whoever I wanted. So I chose his boss.
The meeting starts, the "manager" cites insubordination etc and I just sat there. When they eventually said we are giving you formal notice, I just asked "are you sure? " He replied yes. My representative (his boss) at this point had said nothing.
It was at this point I played the recording.
I was asked to leave the room. I was called back 15 mins later , apologized to, given a pay rise and informed that the "manager" will no longer be working on this client site. Or any client site we supported.
Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?
You're not the only one.
u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.
I Know What I LikeGiphy
My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.
The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.
A Stair Step
My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.
My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.
My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.
We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.
I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.
My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.
With an ex:
"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."
She did not understand this.
I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.
"Now how much do you have in your hand?"
She still didn't understand.
She somehow has a college degree.
When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.
I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.
My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.
His answer was that I was being unfair.
How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."
To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.
A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.
A Non-Standard Ruler?
I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.
Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.
7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.
Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.
Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.
This Unusual Vegan Argument
Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.
He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.
That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."
Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.
Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.
In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.
It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.
Albert or ArnoldGiphy
Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?
Below Sea Level
I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.
I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.
This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.
Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.
Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.
An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.
I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.
Whales Are Mammals
I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.
Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.
My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.
No Balloons For Grandma
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.
He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.
He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
Spontaneous Dolphin ExistenceGiphy
How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.
I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.
Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.
But ... Ice Floats
Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.
Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.
Time Zones Exist
Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"
"no, it's red"
"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)
The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.
The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.
It was stupid.
Stars Like Our Sun
I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.
I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.
I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.
Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.
Balloon to Heaven
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.
And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.
He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.
It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.
Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".
My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.
3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.
I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.
Late to the party, but there it is.
I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.
Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.
Wicked Witch of the West
I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.
I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.
Keep Your Hands to Yourself
Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.
They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.
So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.
My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.
I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.
We didn't speak to each other for four days.
How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).
How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.
Dogs and ChocolateGiphy
I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.
I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.
Is water wet?
My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.
For the record, it is no to both questions.
A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.
He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.
One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.
It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.
Green Or Yellow?
When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.
Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.
Stars In Their MultitudeGiphy
I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".
I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.
She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.
We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.
I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"
I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.
I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...
Solid Or Liquid?
Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.
For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.