One of the hardest parts of living with any kind of civilization is, well, the people... We all have to have neighbors, whether in the apartment next door or a mile down the road.
Here are some of people's craziest neighbor stories.
Many thanks to the reddit user who posed this question. You can check out ore answers from the source at the end of this article!
1/14. I was around 5 and we had a husky at that time. Dad and I were home alone, and he went to a neighbour to borrow something. I stayed outside to play with our dog when a few minutes later our other neighbour comes with a broom in his hand, yelling at 5 year old me to keep the dog quiet (he barked every now and then, whoopty doo) or he will kill it right there and then.
That man scared me so much I cried and peed myself cause he was in my face shouting and spitting at me. A third neighbour (old grandma) saw this going on and rushed to get my dad to save me. Dad came, they pushed each other around a little, best part is when dad broke his broom and said if he ever talks to his kids again he will beat him up with that very broom.
Then he went home, grabbed a knife, but in the meantime the police was already there (old grandma called them because she thought he assaulted me, I loved that woman). He panicked, ran into his car and drove off. This only got him into even more trouble cause hey man, you're in a car chase with the police! Ended up with him crashing into a tree and the knife he took got stuck in his leg, but nothing critical happened. I remember seeing him sometimes limping around his garden, but we moved soon after that because screw crazy neighbours who don't like dogs. Don't know the aftermath with the police though, this was 15 years ago.
Oh, and by the way, he was a father of 6 year old twins who were never allowed to hang out with the rest of us hood kids in the streets. I sometimes talked to them over the fence and even gave them a few Pokemon cards because they were not allowed any.
2/14. My old neighbour was perfect, quiet and always had a nice chat when we met outside our flats. He was obviously dealing drugs but he kept all the junkies in line, they were quiet as well when they were knocking on his door all hours of the night.
Then he stabbed the shit of two guys that came to his door. The hallway was covered in blood. It was crazy. Still, after he got sent to prison a new guy moved in that played music constantly as loud as he possibly could. I'll take ol' stabby back any day.
3/14. A few years ago I lived in a bit of a tract home situation. In my cul-de-sac on trash day everyone would line their trash cans up on the curb where the trash truck with the mechanical arm could easily get to them. My crazy neighbor would get upset if everyone didn't pull their trash cans in immediately after the truck came. Trash day was on a weekday so I couldn't bring my cans in until after I got off work. Needless to say this totally pissed her off. It started with her just spinning the can around, or moving it in front of my garage. Eventually it escalates to her knocking it over or pushing it across the street into a small park. I'm at work lady what can I do about it?
So eventually I had enough. I bought a tube of marine grease for my grease gun. For those who don't know it's intense stuff. It's made to stand up to all conditions and difficult to get off your skin without a strong solvent like kerosene. So I lather up the handles and take the can out with a pair of gloves then head out for work. When I came home the can was moved a few feet and sure enough her stupid little hands had left a big imprint in the grease.
She never touched it again.
4/14. My neighbor is very weird. He never waves and has a permanent sneer on his face. When we moved in we were warned he's a registered sex offender and to call the cops if we see him with kids. One day, he calls up out of the blue. I've never spoken to him before but he proceeds to launch into his explanation of the sex offender record. Basically, he claims that he hurt some kid in a locker room while they both happened to be naked. He says it was plain old vanilla assault where both parties happened to be nude. Then he hung up.
That's not the weird part its just to give you an idea of what he's like.
One day he starts building a sign in front of his house. Not like a little poster. It's professionally printed on metal and mounted on two huge posts set with concrete. The sign is a picture of a puppy and a long rambling story about how he let his puppy play in the street and it got hit by a car 10 years ago, but it's written in a way where he seems to accuse the neighborhood of murdering his dog. Next to this sign, covering his entire fence, is an enormous banner reading "We Miss You!" (I don't know who 'We' is. He lives alone) and an even larger picture of the puppy which isn't necessary because directly in front of the banner, sitting on a folding card table, is the actual puppy. He had it stuffed and set it out on display and left it there for days and hid behind the fence waiting for someone to mess with it but nobody did.
The puppy and the banner disappeared but the metal sign was permanent. It stayed up for years until a bad storm ripped it down.
I always wondered what he does with the dog. Does it stay in a closet or does he keep it out in his house? I got my answer. I have a friend who does construction and one day he was hired by weirdo neighbor to build a shed. Without my even asking he tells me the guy keeps a stuffed dog in the living room like a piece if furniture and that he talks to it.
5/14. Very religious neighbor came to pick us up for church every Sunday morning.. We kindly declined every time, never made a big deal out of it.
Sold the house, the new owners got a judge to issue a no-contact order, the neighbors were not even allowed to walk by the house anymore.
6/14. I live in a Cleveland suburb. So it's not very rural or country nor redneck. But these neighbors.... Most of the block is pretty much from the south. So everyone has bon fires. We held one one time. And it was decently big. Neighbors called the fire department. And demanded that they put it out. So firefighters came and put it out with one bucket of water. And then said sorry.
There's another neighbor who whistles really loudly. And I have to say it is very very good! No one minds. It's fun to have a guy down your street walking around whistling like in a cartoon. But some old cranky lady called in a noise complaint every day. And now there's no more whistling....
That same neighbor would sit on his front porch watching football games on Sunday. And he would talk (yell) about the game to some other neighbor that lived about 10 houses down. You basically got the best commentary on games ever! Same old lady called in a noise complaint. And cops got so used to it that they just drove up saying hey what's up [neighbors name]? How's the game? Who's winning. And then old cranky lady got even more mad.
7/14. My neighbour came into my back yard when she thought we (university students) had gone home for the summer. I still lived in the house. In fact, I was sitting by the window when she entered our back yard. I thought nothing of it - I chalked it up to her looking for her cat.
I went back to reading my book and completely forgot about her until I saw movement out of the corner of my eye some while later. She was walking out if my backyard with all our plants.
She stole our garden. I was so astounded that I just sat there and stared at her. I never even tried to stop her.
More stories on the next page!
8/14. When I was a kid we had a neighbor who drank all the time. He would even drink and drive. One time he hit our house when pulling into his drive way and just left his car in the front yard against the house. He then told police that my dad drove the car into our house. The guy was arrested. A week later the police raided his house and he was sent to jail.
9/14. We have had several sets of crazy neighbors but my favorite were J & Y, an old Cuban couple who got drunk and fought loudly every night.
One time we were late on our water bill, and in the U.S. the water company can cut off your water if you don't pay. The truck came and the guy gets out and opens the door in the sidewalk, shuts off our water and drives away.
Immediately J explodes from his house with the largest wrench I have ever seen in my life, (bigger than a small child) screaming curses in Spanish at the retreating water company truck, runs to in front of our house, throws off the door in the sidewalk and turns our water back on. Then walks back to his house, still muttering, and walks in, slamming the door behind him.
10/14. Next door neighbor sent us a letter through the mail asking us to never park in front of their house after I parked there once. Kicker is a couple of years later they seem to have started some illegal home business with employees and every single day there are at least three cars parked in front of our house.
11/14. As kids, we had a neighbor that we called Mr. Paul. Mr. Paul seemed like a generic older man... he was Southern, had a garden, and actually helped build most of the houses in our neighborhood. The first week that we moved in, he brought over fresh cucumbers and tomatoes from his garden! So sweet!
Mr. Paul was also... eccentric. In the summer he would sit in a lawn chair on his front porch to sun him self. By the end of the summer, his flabby skin and beer gut would be a leathery golden brown. He also once got in a fist fight with his son, who pummeled him mercilessly until we got involved.
But Mr. Paul would also shoot squirrels on his property... they ate the bird seed he put out for birdwatching. He would shoot them and apparently other animals, and we learned later that he was a pretty good shot. While he was our neighbor, three of our cats got mysterious gunshot wounds, all three had direct shots to the chest. Two cats miraculously survived - one had the bullet lodged in her sternum, and the other's bullet came to rest in his arm fat. But the third cat, Ava, I found clinging to life next to our house. She was shot in the chest, and it turns out the bullet ripped through her body, destroying everything in its path.
At 7yrs old I watched as they put her down, and held her body as it stiffened on the way home from the vet. He died several years later... I hated him, and I definitely don't miss him.
12/14. So about a year and a half ago my brother and I moved into a duplex. The man on the other side of the duplex was in his 70's, was an alcoholic, heroin addict, and only had one leg.
He would always knock on our door at the most inopportune times to tell us some random jargon. Well flash to August and this man had overdosed one morning, we saw the ambulance take his body away on the way to work. That night when we got home from work, there were some homeless people that I recognized off the streets in my neighborhood; and I saw them moving stuff into his house.
I suppose word got out and they figured they had a place to stay for a bit. Well the landlord attempted to kick them out but one of them claimed they were on the lease to which they were not. So the landlord and these people are in a legal battle right now.
So they start collecting stolen cars, have people constantly in and out of the house. And to make matters worse, they don't pay rent and they certainly don't pay electricity. So a month ago they tapped into my electrical box And were stealing power.
I only found out when I got home one night and there was a letter on the door from the electric company stating they removed our electrical box because it was hazzardous and tapped into. So ever since that night my bro and I have been in an ongoing battle with the electrical company to get a new box installed.
For the past month we have been staying with family. I checked on the house last week and they were in the driveway with a 55 gallon drum burning wood and cooking food. Yet here I am praying the landlord brings down the hammer and gets rid of them, they have caused us such distress it's not even funny.
I miss my house, I miss my bed. I miss my peace of mind.
13/14. He put his Christmas decorations up at 11 pm on Halloween.
14/14. I lived in a complex of sorts with stacked townhouses and a communal backyard. One night I went out for a smoke and heard a commotion.
There is a cracked out middle aged woman who is yelling at her upstairs neighbour for stealing her raccoon. Yes, she yelled that it was her raccoon because she left a bag of sugar out for it which is apparently a delicacy to raccoons.
The raccoon was on the upstairs neighbours' balcony so to get it back she constructed this ramshackle stairway of garbage (upturned garbage cans, broken chairs, etc) and tried to climb up while wielding a hula hoop.
She managed to get to the top of garbage mountain and somehow thought she could trap the raccoon with a hula hoop (????). Other neighbour came out and a fight ensued with upstairs neighbour biting the crackhead.
Police were called. Raccoon was never seen again.
Breaking up is hard to do.
And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.
People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.