People Share The Deepest, Darkest Secrets They've Kept Hidden
I can't tell you...
We all have have a few stories to tell. The things we've done when no one was watching could be the tales of infamy. We've all taken liberties here and cut corners there when we believe nobody is a witness. Some stories aren't our's to tell, we are often just the keepers. So much drama shrouded in the far remote corners of our brains. How do we do it?
Redditor u/RovverX1 wanted to discuss some things none of us may know... What has been a deep dark secret you have kept hidden?
I went over to my uncle's place to go swimming a few years ago. I had to take one of those BIG poops, so I went in their half bath right inside the house. Apparently, I didn't flush enough so it flooded the inside of the house with toilet water and my poops. BUT, my cousin went pee right before it flooded so he got blamed for it and had to help clean it up.
The only reason I didn't come forward is because I went to the store and came back when they were almost done cleaning, so I felt like going "oh, that was me" would just escalate the anger even further. So I just let it end and never brought it up again. Zubberikan
Everyone needs more Morphine....
Many, many years ago I was dispatched to a job for an adult male struck by subway. As a paramedic I have been down this road a few times, it never ends well for anyone. FDNY got the train blocked and the MTA guys had the 3rd rail covered and grounds placed so it was time for me to slip under the car and figure a way out. As I slipped in and began talking to the patient and it became very obvious he was not going to live.
His face was looking down at the ties but his feet were facing up, one leg was under his neck. He basically was folded in half and turned 180° over the length of his body. The weight of the subway car was holding his intestines and liver in position. His back was opened and one kidney was actually exposed. I started an I.V. and gave him some I.V. Morphine. I slithered up to his face and had the single most difficult conversation I ever had with him about the fact that as soon as we moved the subway car he was going to slip into shock and die.
I refuse to ever not be 100% honest with my patients, he asked me a few questions about the process and what was going to happen. I asked if he wanted to call anyone and he said no. Knowing what was about to happen I asked if he wanted more Morphine, I had an open order so I gave him an extremely stiff dose. I wanted to eliminate as much of his suffering as possible, he got basically three doses at once. He wasn't conscious when we lifted the car. He had no blood pressure and went into a cardiac arrhythmia almost instantly. He never felt a thing. c3h8pro
Help the bowels....
For a couple of years I held the fact that I was heading into an early grave (I was ~23, wasn't likely to make it past 40). I had (technically still have, but it's under control) a bowel thing that periodically hit the halt button on my ability to digest food. Consider lots of gross details omitted.
Broke up with my gf - she wanted kids and I refuse the idea of having children who'd have to watch me die before they graduate. Plus she's the christian type to stick by me even if it crushes her dreams, not gonna allow that. Refused to tell my parents - we see plenty of each other already and I didn't want them to spend 5-15 years thinking about how they were probably going to bury me.
Really glad I did because after a year of fiddling with experimental treatments simple testosterone pills given to counteract other medication turned out to be all I needed. I'm a moron with medical jargon but they kick start something in my thyroid which made my pancreas work more normally which stabilized my bowels. Pretty much just pop a couple whenever I start to feel "low" and I'm all good for a month or so. Zeruvi
I can't dream bigger!
I think I'm unable to be passionate, I have interests (kinda) I have Hobbies (of sorts) but if you were to ask me what I wanted in life in general or just in the moment the best answer I got is to not die in the next two decades or so. Coolmikefromcanada
I was just talking to a friend recently about this actually. We don't have any specific hobbies or interests that we're passionate enough about to consistently do, but we still like doing 'things.' And that is perfectly okay! I think it's quite alright to just bumble along like a bumblebee! Just chillin', pollinating a couple flowers here and there, trying not to get smacked by other humans. lunchlady_6
Praise "The Dude!"Giphy
I have ataraxia. It's defined as the absence of worry essentially. So I don't get worried about anything ever. You might think wow that sounds flipping amazing.
It isn't. If my boss is correcting me, I'm just sitting there absorbing what it is I need to correct. I don't look scolded or anything people look for when they correct someone. If there is a deadline that needs to be met you get the same reaction out of me weather it's 6 weeks away or 6 minutes.
I used to work probation and parole, one of my bosses said that I was too callous when dealing with offenders because I couldn't be worried for them. When my wife is upset with me she thinks I don't give a crap. I do, but in my own way I guess.
It's from an early childhood trauma I don't remember. If I were to liken it to anything in popular culture I would say that I emulate "The Dude." But not a good way, more in a sad way I guess. Citadel_97E
Let it drip....
I was on vacation with a group of friends. When I was in the shower I felt the need to fart so I let rip. Well I sprayed the shower with poop. Reddit
Damn you 2014!
I was walking super depressed around St Louis once, I was about 17. Saw a young heavyset woman crying and muttering, something like "help me help me." I kept walking, avoiding eye contact and saying something like "not today, sorry." A few hundred feet later I looked back and saw her wading into the river, paused for a few moments and she disappeared. It was freezing and nobody else saw. I was considering suicide myself. Nowadays I am sorry and shamed, but back then I was jealous.
This was back in 2014 or so. Begle1
Time is Limited....
I was told 3 years ago I had 5 years to live, but if I take certain meds I could double the years. The meds make me feel like crap and I stopped taking them. melendy_mongo
Quality or quantity? I can't understand what that would feel like to bear, but I can understand the choice. Thoughts are with you, stranger. ScottReynolds
It's the motion of the Ocean... so they say.
That my penis is massively small. HamburgerHoudini
Get good at foreplay and oral and you'll be alright. I come super quick but its never been an issue because I double down in the aforementioned departments. Shoeboxer
Everyone check your passwords....Giphy
I know my brother's Reddit account (he doesn't know) and keep tabs on him. Yes, this is invasion of privacy, and I feel bad before laughing at the comments he makes on hentai shares. clayaintgay
I'm telling mom. MageFood
Don't bother, she already laughed at your hentai comments. dimwalker
It's hard work to open that box!
That chocolate pie I always bring for Thanksgiving... the one I say I made myself that everyone always loves... Marie Calendars. DougieSloBone
Just a love tap
I bumped my husbands sports car with my car. Left no marks, just a light tap. He has no idea. We traded it 6 months ago (he's still heart broken) but I'll never tell. KnitKnackNo
You do you.
I wouldn't call it a dark secret but a deep one. I'm bi, I've recently realized I've always been bi and that's ok, I'm me. I've only ever said it on Reddit. I've made a few comments about it to a close friend but I've never outright said it to someone. If I ever start seriously dating a woman then I'll tell people but for right now I'm happy the way things are. I'm not ashamed and I wouldn't say I'm "in the closet", I just don't feel like its important. People focus to much on labeling each other imo. DarthOphelia
Good for you. You don't owe anyone anything. I'm glad that you're doing what's right for you. youngsyr
The nurse knew what you needed.
I made a secret pact with nurses at my hospital to not let my mother in law stay the night like she planned. I was in labor and just wanted to rest. The nurse lied about visiting rules and kicked her out haha. Nobody knows. EmmilyLWood
There's always hope.
Practically everyone I know thinks I graduated from university 6 months ago. I did not.
I was actually on a slippery slope with my major for the past two years, doing worse and worse without swallowing my pride and asking someone for help.
Eventually I ended up failing out, and the only people who know are my parents and the guy who had to send me the email saying that I was on academic suspension. Everyone else thinks I got my degree.
It's been 6 months, I have no plan, I'm not making enough money to go back to school, my parents can't support me anymore, and my student loans are out of grace. icantdealanymore
It's not the worst coping skill.
I'm in my twenties and I still suck my thumb nearly every single day. Puk02
For an adult, that is not necessarily a bad thing, you know? A lot of people do stuff that could be considered regressive behavior one way or the other for a bunch of different reasons. For some, it is a kind of fetish, for others, it is just comforting. Some even use it to deal with stress or even anxiety, and that is fine. While it's of course no cure for mental health problems, it neither is an illness in itself and can actually sometimes even help cope with problems. Clotting_Agent
My secret hot chocolate recipe the ex loved so much was just doubling up all the usual ingredients. suddenly_satire
At least you recognize your own imperfections.
I have zero friends because I'm so judgmental and hate dealing with their issues or their annoying personalities. I hate that I'm this way but at 43(F), not sure I'll ever change. Not much family left, either (just my brother and grandma who has Alzheimer's). It's quite the lonely life. When I decide to try and maintain a friendship or date someone regularly, I just get stressed out and frustrated with them...over dumb stuff, too. I've seen so many therapists to no avail. Had a rough childhood that consisted of abandonment/neglect and abuse. Not sure if it's related. Always thought I'd get married and have kids, so I feel like I'm missing out big time in life. The loneliness gets to me, so I am constantly contemplating suicide. Sparrow75
Life is just a game.
I gave up playing WoW about 2 years ago. I realized I was spending too much time raiding and not enough with my family. Managing it was a job. I tried playing casually, but enjoyed the high end raiding gameplay.
I miss it, everyday. I purposefully won't buy a new computer just so I can't play it. I actually feel emptier without it. A f***ing game. It's embarrassing. Since I quit, I bought our first house, got promoted at work, lost weight, got my medical situation better, and STILL check my characters and guild mates armory pages.
It's a f***ing game... Coldfire2050
There often isn't a reason.
I won't say anything that could get me into trouble...
That said, a lot of you guys have had difficult experiences in your life. It's so sad :(
In any case, a "safe" one to share? I have clinical depression. I've tried being off medication and just exercise and have a healthy diet but it isn't enough. I went through a large part of my life crying on a daily basis and being sad about everything. I cannot imagine not being on antidepressants. The "joke" of this all is I had a great childhood, I have a somewhat supportive family, good job, the world's best dog, and I do fun things every now and then. I don't usually share my depression with people because it seems like the world sees it as being a made up thing that only white people have. PregnantMexicanTeens
Secretly, we all fear having birthdays like the one in Sixteen Candles, where nobody shows up and we're forced to deal with how lonely we feel as people. But sometimes, people have things happen on their birthday that put Molly Ringwald to shame.
It stinks to have your special day go sour. Moreover, it hurts, that if whatever happened was bad enough, you will never be able to not associate your birthday with that awful thing.