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People Share The Deepest, Darkest Secrets They've Kept Hidden

I can't tell you...

We all have have a few stories to tell. The things we've done when no one was watching could be the tales of infamy. We've all taken liberties here and cut corners there when we believe nobody is a witness. Some stories aren't our's to tell, we are often just the keepers. So much drama shrouded in the far remote corners of our brains. How do we do it?

Redditor u/RovverX1 wanted to discuss some things none of us may know... What has been a deep dark secret you have kept hidden?

It's Me!!!


I went over to my uncle's place to go swimming a few years ago. I had to take one of those BIG poops, so I went in their half bath right inside the house. Apparently, I didn't flush enough so it flooded the inside of the house with toilet water and my poops. BUT, my cousin went pee right before it flooded so he got blamed for it and had to help clean it up.

The only reason I didn't come forward is because I went to the store and came back when they were almost done cleaning, so I felt like going "oh, that was me" would just escalate the anger even further. So I just let it end and never brought it up again. Zubberikan

Everyone needs more Morphine....

Many, many years ago I was dispatched to a job for an adult male struck by subway. As a paramedic I have been down this road a few times, it never ends well for anyone. FDNY got the train blocked and the MTA guys had the 3rd rail covered and grounds placed so it was time for me to slip under the car and figure a way out. As I slipped in and began talking to the patient and it became very obvious he was not going to live.

His face was looking down at the ties but his feet were facing up, one leg was under his neck. He basically was folded in half and turned 180° over the length of his body. The weight of the subway car was holding his intestines and liver in position. His back was opened and one kidney was actually exposed. I started an I.V. and gave him some I.V. Morphine. I slithered up to his face and had the single most difficult conversation I ever had with him about the fact that as soon as we moved the subway car he was going to slip into shock and die.

I refuse to ever not be 100% honest with my patients, he asked me a few questions about the process and what was going to happen. I asked if he wanted to call anyone and he said no. Knowing what was about to happen I asked if he wanted more Morphine, I had an open order so I gave him an extremely stiff dose. I wanted to eliminate as much of his suffering as possible, he got basically three doses at once. He wasn't conscious when we lifted the car. He had no blood pressure and went into a cardiac arrhythmia almost instantly. He never felt a thing. c3h8pro

Help the bowels....

For a couple of years I held the fact that I was heading into an early grave (I was ~23, wasn't likely to make it past 40). I had (technically still have, but it's under control) a bowel thing that periodically hit the halt button on my ability to digest food. Consider lots of gross details omitted.

Broke up with my gf - she wanted kids and I refuse the idea of having children who'd have to watch me die before they graduate. Plus she's the christian type to stick by me even if it crushes her dreams, not gonna allow that. Refused to tell my parents - we see plenty of each other already and I didn't want them to spend 5-15 years thinking about how they were probably going to bury me.

Really glad I did because after a year of fiddling with experimental treatments simple testosterone pills given to counteract other medication turned out to be all I needed. I'm a moron with medical jargon but they kick start something in my thyroid which made my pancreas work more normally which stabilized my bowels. Pretty much just pop a couple whenever I start to feel "low" and I'm all good for a month or so. Zeruvi

I can't dream bigger! 

I think I'm unable to be passionate, I have interests (kinda) I have Hobbies (of sorts) but if you were to ask me what I wanted in life in general or just in the moment the best answer I got is to not die in the next two decades or so. Coolmikefromcanada

I was just talking to a friend recently about this actually. We don't have any specific hobbies or interests that we're passionate enough about to consistently do, but we still like doing 'things.' And that is perfectly okay! I think it's quite alright to just bumble along like a bumblebee! Just chillin', pollinating a couple flowers here and there, trying not to get smacked by other humans. lunchlady_6

Praise "The Dude!" 


I have ataraxia. It's defined as the absence of worry essentially. So I don't get worried about anything ever. You might think wow that sounds flipping amazing.

It isn't. If my boss is correcting me, I'm just sitting there absorbing what it is I need to correct. I don't look scolded or anything people look for when they correct someone. If there is a deadline that needs to be met you get the same reaction out of me weather it's 6 weeks away or 6 minutes.

I used to work probation and parole, one of my bosses said that I was too callous when dealing with offenders because I couldn't be worried for them. When my wife is upset with me she thinks I don't give a crap. I do, but in my own way I guess.

It's from an early childhood trauma I don't remember. If I were to liken it to anything in popular culture I would say that I emulate "The Dude." But not a good way, more in a sad way I guess. Citadel_97E

Let it drip....

I was on vacation with a group of friends. When I was in the shower I felt the need to fart so I let rip. Well I sprayed the shower with poop. Reddit

Damn you 2014! 

I was walking super depressed around St Louis once, I was about 17. Saw a young heavyset woman crying and muttering, something like "help me help me." I kept walking, avoiding eye contact and saying something like "not today, sorry." A few hundred feet later I looked back and saw her wading into the river, paused for a few moments and she disappeared. It was freezing and nobody else saw. I was considering suicide myself. Nowadays I am sorry and shamed, but back then I was jealous.

This was back in 2014 or so. Begle1

Time is Limited....

I was told 3 years ago I had 5 years to live, but if I take certain meds I could double the years. The meds make me feel like crap and I stopped taking them. melendy_mongo

Quality or quantity? I can't understand what that would feel like to bear, but I can understand the choice. Thoughts are with you, stranger. ScottReynolds

It's the motion of the Ocean... so they say. 

That my penis is massively small. HamburgerHoudini

Get good at foreplay and oral and you'll be alright. I come super quick but its never been an issue because I double down in the aforementioned departments. Shoeboxer

Everyone check your passwords....


I know my brother's Reddit account (he doesn't know) and keep tabs on him. Yes, this is invasion of privacy, and I feel bad before laughing at the comments he makes on hentai shares. clayaintgay

I'm telling mom. MageFood

Don't bother, she already laughed at your hentai comments. dimwalker

It's hard work to open that box!

That chocolate pie I always bring for Thanksgiving... the one I say I made myself that everyone always loves... Marie Calendars. DougieSloBone

Just a love tap

I bumped my husbands sports car with my car. Left no marks, just a light tap. He has no idea. We traded it 6 months ago (he's still heart broken) but I'll never tell. KnitKnackNo

You do you.

I wouldn't call it a dark secret but a deep one. I'm bi, I've recently realized I've always been bi and that's ok, I'm me. I've only ever said it on Reddit. I've made a few comments about it to a close friend but I've never outright said it to someone. If I ever start seriously dating a woman then I'll tell people but for right now I'm happy the way things are. I'm not ashamed and I wouldn't say I'm "in the closet", I just don't feel like its important. People focus to much on labeling each other imo. DarthOphelia

Good for you. You don't owe anyone anything. I'm glad that you're doing what's right for you. youngsyr

The nurse knew what you needed.

I made a secret pact with nurses at my hospital to not let my mother in law stay the night like she planned. I was in labor and just wanted to rest. The nurse lied about visiting rules and kicked her out haha. Nobody knows. EmmilyLWood

There's always hope.

Practically everyone I know thinks I graduated from university 6 months ago. I did not.

I was actually on a slippery slope with my major for the past two years, doing worse and worse without swallowing my pride and asking someone for help.

Eventually I ended up failing out, and the only people who know are my parents and the guy who had to send me the email saying that I was on academic suspension. Everyone else thinks I got my degree.

It's been 6 months, I have no plan, I'm not making enough money to go back to school, my parents can't support me anymore, and my student loans are out of grace. icantdealanymore

It's not the worst coping skill.

I'm in my twenties and I still suck my thumb nearly every single day. Puk02

For an adult, that is not necessarily a bad thing, you know? A lot of people do stuff that could be considered regressive behavior one way or the other for a bunch of different reasons. For some, it is a kind of fetish, for others, it is just comforting. Some even use it to deal with stress or even anxiety, and that is fine. While it's of course no cure for mental health problems, it neither is an illness in itself and can actually sometimes even help cope with problems. Clotting_Agent

Mine too!

My secret hot chocolate recipe the ex loved so much was just doubling up all the usual ingredients. suddenly_satire

At least you recognize your own imperfections.

I have zero friends because I'm so judgmental and hate dealing with their issues or their annoying personalities. I hate that I'm this way but at 43(F), not sure I'll ever change. Not much family left, either (just my brother and grandma who has Alzheimer's). It's quite the lonely life. When I decide to try and maintain a friendship or date someone regularly, I just get stressed out and frustrated with them...over dumb stuff, too. I've seen so many therapists to no avail. Had a rough childhood that consisted of abandonment/neglect and abuse. Not sure if it's related. Always thought I'd get married and have kids, so I feel like I'm missing out big time in life. The loneliness gets to me, so I am constantly contemplating suicide. Sparrow75

Life is just a game.

I gave up playing WoW about 2 years ago. I realized I was spending too much time raiding and not enough with my family. Managing it was a job. I tried playing casually, but enjoyed the high end raiding gameplay.

I miss it, everyday. I purposefully won't buy a new computer just so I can't play it. I actually feel emptier without it. A f***ing game. It's embarrassing. Since I quit, I bought our first house, got promoted at work, lost weight, got my medical situation better, and STILL check my characters and guild mates armory pages.

It's a f***ing game... Coldfire2050

There often isn't a reason.

I won't say anything that could get me into trouble...

That said, a lot of you guys have had difficult experiences in your life. It's so sad :(

In any case, a "safe" one to share? I have clinical depression. I've tried being off medication and just exercise and have a healthy diet but it isn't enough. I went through a large part of my life crying on a daily basis and being sad about everything. I cannot imagine not being on antidepressants. The "joke" of this all is I had a great childhood, I have a somewhat supportive family, good job, the world's best dog, and I do fun things every now and then. I don't usually share my depression with people because it seems like the world sees it as being a made up thing that only white people have. PregnantMexicanTeens


Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.