People Share The Most Idiotic Things That Put Them In The E.R.
People Share The Most Idiotic Things That Put Them In The E.R.
Accidents and illnesses happen, no matter how careful we are. But sometimes we aren't so careful and end up taking a trip to the emergency room.
Reddit user vortish asked "What did you do that was stupid and put you in the E.R ?"
Here are the stories of the times an oops led to an ouch.
Which time? In chronological or alphabetical or perhaps in order of number of stitches?
Attempted to somersault over my rear car windshield but ended up inside said windshield.
When I was 4 I was at a family party and my cousin was on one of those swing teeter-totter things that were popular in the 90s. I saw a really cool looking leaf on the ground in front of him and, without thinking went over to pick it up. I got decked in the face by the swing and one of the metal poles in it busted my lip open. I went to the ER, got my lip glued up. On the way home I picked the glue off my lip and it started bleeding again so my dad had to take me back to the ER to have my lip glued a second time.
After all of this I was disappointed that my dad was taking me home instead of back to the party.
In my early 20s (long time ago), I was out riding my bike on a sizzling sunny day. I thought "Hey, let me get some tan." So I took off my shirt and rode for about half an hour.
Did I mention I'm so pale that when my high school soccer team played shirtless scrimmages, my nickname was "Casper the Friendly Ghost"?
You can guess the rest. Woke up the next morning in agony from severe sunburn. It was also itchy - I couldn't stop scratching my back. Forced myself to go to work, but soon had to leave and head to the ER, where they gave me some soothing topical ointment ... and a well-deserved lecture.
Apparently, STAY HYDRATED is not just a suggestion.
I took my son to Disney world for the weekend last August. I made sure he stayed hydrated and covered in sunscreen...me, not so much. I started feeling lightheaded on the drive home, but thought nothing of it. We got home and my husband told me I looked sick. I told him stop being dramatic, then I lost consciousness. Went to the the E. R. to get checked out, and was in the middle of telling the doctor I was feeling much better and didn't need a wheelchair when the seizures started. Long story short; acute dehydration + sleep deprivation + lifelong anemia = a week in the ICU and a month of outpatient IV.
The Nose Knows
I have a weird habit of having nose bleeds at the most inopportune moments. The worst would have to be when I was on aspirin for a knee injury, and my nose started to bleed. 1 hour, and a roll of toilet paper later I ended up at the hospital in a bath robe with tampons up my nose hobbling around on crutches looking for the ER entrance. Ended up getting my nose cauterized after an hours wait.
Young and Foolish
I smashed my head against a glass table. I broke the table and a shard almost hit my eye. It landed near and I have the scar to prove it. Yes, that's stupid but I was a really dumb kid OK?
When I was 15 I cut my left index finger "to the bone" while trying to dismantle and fix a 15 pin VGA Monitor cable with a pocket knife. My parents didn't have insurance so, in the middle of the night, I put four stitches in my finger. Upon waking the next morning I found my finger twice its original size. The ER doc called me "Rambo" and now (at 38) I've got a cool scar and a cooler story.
Keep it on the Court
I pretended I was an NBA player and I was going to "dunk" in my living room. Didn't see the lights above me and smashed 5 light bulbs with my bare hand. Left the ER with 11 stitches at 3 AM, and missed 2 exams in the morning.
Read the Warning Labels
Ate a glow stick. Or at least a bit of one.
So, Not Canadian?
I didn't have insurance so I let a sore throat go on for weeks. Finally paid $100 to visit a clinic and was sent to the ER. Had to have emergency surgery to drain an abscess on my tonsils.
Down the Up Escalator
Drank eight martinis and then ran down the long escalator at Leicester Square tube station.
The edge of those stairs are serrated, and I have a shaved head. it cut me on the side of the head and I ended up with a bruise that looked exactly like Homer Simpson's hair for a month afterwards. Not a great look.
Collarbone in a Z Formation
I thought I was hot on a bike when I was 13 and I tried to bunny hop an 8 inch cement curbing. Not a big deal right? Except I couldn't even get my rear tire over that curb, and turns out there was a 12 foot drop off on the other side that was paved with asphalt. I caught my back tire on that curb and flipped on my head, breaking my collarbone into a Z shape, shredding all the hair off half my head, huge patch of roadrash down my back, and severe concussion. I did walk the 2 miles back home before we called the ambulance. Thank God my brothers were there to escort me back home, or I would have wandered into traffic.
The very first weekend of my freshman year of high school I was jumping over a fence when my shoes got caught on the wire tips of the fence. Ended up in the ER a few hours later with two broken arms.
For the next 6 weeks, my parents had to feed me, bathe me and even wipe my backside. The respect I gained for my 50 year old father after he wiped my 14 year old backside has still not been forgotten.
Drunk Driving or Boating
I got on a jetski for the first time hungover/drunk and shattered my kneecap in a horrid accident. 18 years later it still hurts.
Leap of Faith
When I was 9 I tried my shot at bungee jumping from about 20ft up a tree using a retractable dog leash. All I did was attach the clip that goes on to the dogs collar to my back belt loop. I took the leap and woke up in the ER.
So there's a stupid big hill, like ridiculously steep & long, about a 10 minute walk from my house. It's an access way for cars to get to a lookout, so gravel road. When we first moved in, at 12 years old I was the only one in my group of family and cousins ballsy (stupid) enough to take my bike down it. All went well, no issues there.
Couple weeks later we decided to go for another walk/bike/scooter ride and I decided to take my scooter rather than my bike. We get to the hill and I say I'm going down I've done it before yada yada, so I start the decent. Not 5 seconds in I realize the ride is a lot more unsteady & uncontrolled on a scooter as opposed to a bike. I start wobbling, I look down at the bottom of the hill and lo and behold they've added a speed bump within the few weeks since last time. Time slows down and my thoughts race. My wobbles are getting worse. Do I stay on and hit the speed bump? Do I jump off my scooter going 40mph wearing only a skateboard helmet? My thought process leaned towards the latter. I jump off, one step, two step, fall forward on my head.
Woke up in the car going to the ER. Concussed, huge gash in my palm, huge gash on my elbow, scraped knees, gravel rash all down my back, and a severely cracked collarbone.
Stick to bikes.
I was brushing my teeth too vigorously/hard, slipped, and stabbed myself in the eye with the toothbrush. A couple of eye stitches (nope nope nope) and two weeks in an eyepatch later, it was all better other than the fact that I stabbed myself in the eye with a toothbrush and would never live it down.
Hooked a windsurfing sail to a skateboard and went out in 20+ knot winds. My Wile E. Coyote impersonation ensued. Broken left ankle. Drove myself to the hospital in a car with a manual transmission (OUCH!) Doctor laughed out loud when she heard how I hurt myself. Made me repeat it for her co-workers. Biggest laugh was when I was asked my age and I said 35.
I smashed a couple fingers in the tail gate of a 10-ton dump truck. Dumped out a load of fill dirt and a large rock get wedged between the bed and the tail gate. Stupid me used my hands to pull it out, but I wasn't fast enough and the tail gate slammed down on two of my fingers, breaking them both, but thankfully not severing them as I was wearing leather gloves.
"It wasn't me!"
There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked: