People Share The Most Passive-Aggressive Thing They've Seen Someone Do

Passive-aggression can sometimes be better than immediate aggression, i.e. it rarely leads to fistfights, but it also tends to lead to retaliation in a similar fashion.

It may not be effective, but it is frequently hilarious (for us outside observers, anyway). Being on the receiving end can be much less fun, but sometimes it's just so ridiculous that you can't help but find it funny anyway.

Redditor Helperbobby asked:

"What is the most passive-aggressive thing you've seen someone do?"

A couple of these replies reminded me to be thankful that I live alone now, as I've had distinctly similar roommates.

Some replies edited for content or clarity.

Oh, That'll Definitely Help

Junior year of college my best friend convinced me to move into an on-campus house with him and 3 others (a couple and another friend). We all knew each and were friends so I didn't think much of it, in fact thought it could be fun.

There were multiple red flags beforehand, but the biggest passive-aggressive event happened one afternoon. I was making lunch, a couple sandwiches for my best friend and I. I took the bread (there were 2 bags) that I thought my best friend had purchased. Wrong.

When the couple returns to the house I hear her start to scream and hit the counter with her fists, "Who the f**k ate my bread?!" I fessed up right away, apologizing and explaining what happened, I even offered to buy her an entirely new loaf or give her $5 for the mistake (anything to shut her up).

Rather than just putting it behind her, she takes her label maker and labels EVERY SINGLE THING in the house that belongs to her and her boyfriend. Not just food, but the tables she owned, and everything in the bathroom, etc . And it wasn't just a one-time thing, she continued to label all the food she would buy, just to make sure I didn't make a simple mistake and take a couple pieces of bread from her.


So Petty

My dad will tighten the jars in the kitchen after a fight with my mom

He got the idea from Reddit

- SnekySpider

Boundaries Are Important

Had a staff member who hated me for having held them accountable for letting the lines between personal and professional get publicly blurred with certain people they managed. Basically she had favorites and the rest of her team knew it, mainly b/c she’d post on social media about doing stuff w/fave ppl outside of work.

Her passive-aggressive actions with me started with vaguebook posts with links to articles like “when you have a boss who is a sociopath” and quotes about “being a professional is when you hate someone but rise above it to be nice to their face.”

Then she and her bestie coordinated scheduling meetings with our HR department head where they’d go in with identical complaints about me not being a clear communicator. They also went to managers in other departments to ask for advice on how to deal with me. Ironically, they never actually talked with me about it.

It was/is a bizarre form of bullying.

The thing that actually got me most though? Our work phones all have caller ID. I’d call her and she’d pick up, say the company name, “this is Ann, how can I help you?” I’d say “hi! It’s me, Jenn” and she’d reply in a monotone voice “oh. Hi.” Every. F**king. Time.

Never took the bait, just cheerfully asked if she had a moment to answer a question. Miserable brat of a human.


So Wasteful

I lived with a roommate in a 2-bed place for almost a year. We were friends who had reacquainted a few years after high school and university, and were both looking for somewhere to live. Seemed perfect.

Cut to about 11 months into living together. I knew she was slightly passive aggressive - couldn't take any kind of roommate note, like 'can you please remember to pick up milk before you use it all and we run out?' (she'd sigh and walk off) and her 2 cats would pee all over my stuff (and she'd never offer to help clean it up) - but I was about to learn just how bad it could be.

On this particular occasion, I asked her in passing if she could kindly remove all of the dry dishes from the dish rack before putting new ones on - that morning I'd been buried under an avalanche of dishes when I slightly bumped the dish rack.

Immediately after this interaction I go away for the weekend. When I get back she has MOVED HERSELF OUT, including all of her furniture in our living and dining room.

The only thing she left me? A pint of milk on the counter.


Revenge From Starland

I had a super pompous roommate in college who became even more of a douche after he got his first girlfriend (random girl from Tinder). He’d bring her home at any random point in the day and they’d make obnoxiously loud noises from the bedroom for HOURS.

Finally, I turned my speaker on and blasted “Afternoon Delight” on repeat. I had to leave the house after hearing it the first 10 times - not sure how long after that they were able to put up with it.


Revenge Burger

A co-worker and I had to duck out of the office for a bit. On the way back, we swung through the drive-thru and picked up lunch. We had back into the office, take-out bags in hand, the boss looks at us expectantly and says, "Where's mine?"

We apologize, say we never thought to get one for her, and she just shrugs and says, "That's fine."

The next day, boss ducks out for a bit. She comes back, with a take-out bag from the same fast food place that me and my co-worker hit yesterday. She starts eating at her desk and loudly commenting to no one in particular about her cheeseburger. "This is the best cheeseburger I've ever had! And I only brought one for myself because THAT'S WHAT WE DO IN THIS OFFICE!"

Co-worker looks at me. "Did she seriously just go get herself a revenge cheeseburger?" Yes. Yes she did.


Sometimes Waiting Is Faster

I did this. I was in a small elevator at a big hotel one time. The elevator was full because people had luggage and sh!t. I was first on the elevator, so I am by the buttons. Everyone is going down to the lobby to check out. We stop at a floor, person looks, frowns, no room. Other person pushes on and it is now so uncomfortable/borderline painful. It takes a good three minutes of people jamming themselves together to make room so the door can close, because she is not getting off but also not fitting in. We finally get the door closed and she says sorry, but she is in a rush. So I pressed the button for every floor beneath us and we stopped at every floor on our way down to the lobby. It was like four or five floors, but still I think the passive aggressive point was made. I also didn't press the door close button when we stopped at the floors.


Just Buy Another One

My roommate in college was a super neat freak and was very passive aggressive regarding what I did to pitch in. He would arrange furniture a certain way to make sure I noticed he vacuumed, and I'd move things back. He'd leave open the entryway closet so that I saw that he hung all jackets and Winter scarves, etc. My favorite was when he would leave the kitchen trash can in the middle of the kitchen but without putting in a new trash bag, he wanted me to put in a new bag so I would be aware that he took the trash out. I didn't find it necessary to take out the trash *every day* and I found that a waste of trash bags. So, I went out one day and bought a new trash can and put it in the trash cupboard, leaving the other one in the middle of the kitchen.


That's A Good One, That Is 

Girlfriend was upset with me over not cleaning something. I asked her for a glass of water and she brought me a glass of ice and told me to wait.


Silence Is Too Noisy

I had an upstairs neighbor who would do crazy loud sh*t at 1am- hammer on walls, vacuum, etc- and we would, of course, ask him to quiet down. After awhile of this, he would start walking around the balcony upstairs, trying to peer into my living room to see if my tv was on, and if it was, he would come down and bitch at me to turn the volume down because he worked from home. After the first few times of him getting sh!tty with me, I would put it on mute, and he would come down anyway because it wasn't about the sound, but sticking it to me like the loser he was (and probably still is).



Had a falling-out with a housemate, asked her to move out. Left to do some shopping -- came back home after nightfall to find she had removed every single lightbulb in the downstairs area (our part of the house, not hers) because "she paid for them." We lived in a remote, rural area with no 24hr stores. Lived in the dark till morning.

The next day, as I was making breakfast for both my child and my housemate's child (both the same age, in grade school), I had toast cooking in both toasters (mine and hers) to save time. She swept downstairs, took the toast out of her toaster and threw it on the counter, unplugged her toaster, and swept back upstairs with it, without one word.

The day she moved out, we celebrated like we won the lottery.


Get Baked

Weed is legal now here in Canada but there is still a bit of red tape in some provinces. This meaning in places like Ontario any dispensaries can not operate legally until April 2019. In my city we had a raid on a dispensary after legalization. Any product they had could not be legally sold. However here you can legally gift someone weed as long as they are above the legal age. So they ran a can and coat drive for local charities and gave away free joins to people that donated. They literally gave away pounds (to many poeple) and got so many donations that they were asked not to collect any more coats.

Cops said they couldn't sell their weed but it was perfectly legal to give away.


Looks Like A Seat To Me

I was both the victim and perpetrator of passive aggression at a coach station the other day. Some old dude had a bag on the only available seat, so I smiled at him and politely asked if the seat was taken. He gave me a death stare and said that it wasn't taken, and so I waited for him to move his bag. He didn't. He then said "well, sit there, then!" and I realised that he was so pissed off with me for having the audacity to ask him to move his bag off the seat that he expected me to move it for him. So I sat on the bag.


Make Up Your Mind

She reported me for not smiling at her when I passed her in the hall. A week later, she reported me for smiling at her as I passed her in the hall.


Gradual Conditioning

Something that I am currently doing: I work at a law firm and we live off coffee. I like having cute things around so I bought my own coffee mug that I liked and have been using it for more than a year at my office. Several months ago a new paralegal was hired and I started noticing that my mug was missing. Now, I don't mind if someone uses my mug once in a while. All the mugs are kept together in the kitchen. It's an unspoken rule that some people prefer certain mugs and we all tend to know who uses what. There are also a ton of simple mugs that everyone uses. So, after two weeks without seeing my mug anywhere, I do a little snooping and find out that the new paralegal has been using it. Ok, fine. But even after mentioning how it was my mug that I bought, she still uses it. She's a little on the weird side, but whatever. I decide that I'll just make coffee a few minutes before she does, so that I'll get the mug before her. That worked for a few days, in which she was very confused and complained to several people that mugs had started going missing. Then she starts getting to work early (by at least 20 minutes!) and making coffee first thing. By the time I got to the office the mug would be long gone. This weekend I had to go into the office for something. The mug was in the kitchen. I took the mug. The mug is now in my desk drawer. The mug will stay in my desk drawer for several weeks, until the paralegal forgets about it and moves on. My pettiness makes me very happy. I have meanwhile bought a new mug that I've been using that she has yet to attempt to steal.


We're Not Five

Worked for a pair of patronizing scumbags at a franchised sandwich shop. Every month they held a mandatory meeting where they would grill us with dozens of basic questions about making sandwiches. We were required to answer in order to keep our jobs, and they asked each question sloooowwwly... with lots of, okay are you listening? rephrasing, so that our feeble minds could grasp the questions. As incentive, whenever we answered correctly, they would throw us a fun-sized candy.

We stopped catching the candy. Just let it bounce right off our stone-cold faces.

For months.


Mind Your Own Coffee

Didn't see it. Did it myself. Had a coworker who would get coffee, have a few sips, throw it out ten minutes later and get a fresh cup. He never, ever made the coffee.

When we'd run out he'd go down to admin. When they'd run out he'd go over to the rental department.

So I started making the coffee. Weaker and weaker every day. Got so bad he was yelling at people about it. Said he'd never drink the 2nd floor coffee again.

It returned to full strength on the next pot, but he was conditioned not to touch it.


The Great Grilled Cheese Conflict

last year i lived with three roommates. i provided all of the cookware and cooking utensils, and my only rule for other people using them was that they had to wash them when they were done. only one of them followed the rule, but it wasn’t super annoying i just dealt with it.

Then one day, someone used my pan to make a grilled cheese and burnt a bread shape into the bottom of the pan. they didn’t butter the f**king bread first like a whole dumbass. the pan was not usable anymore, so i said in the group chat that i needed to be reimbursed for it or the person who did it should buy a new pan. my one roommate responded with “what you think you deserve isn’t always what you get, sweetheart. it’s called life.” so i took all of my cookware and utensils and kept them in a laundry basket in my room. F**k that girl


Appearances Are Deceiving

I used to work with a girl who seemed like the nicest person you could meet. After a while of working with her she told me she was *hyper-spiritual* and whenever someone was mean to her or didn't do what she wanted she'd spend X amount of weeks "sending bad vibes at them" whenever they weren't looking at her. After she told me I started looking for it and surely enough, any time someone would turn around she'd crunch her face up into and anus shape and just look at that person until they turned back around.


Selective Snoothie

This girl at my current job frequently makes smoothies for everyone in culinary who is on the shift at the time. She won’t make smoothies for people she’s upset with. So there’s times where she’s made smoothies for over five people and casually just doesn’t have one for the cook she has beef with.


Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.