People Share The One Secret That They're Taking To The Grave.

Does a secret still count as being taken to the grave if you shared it with the world wide web? Sure, if we don't know the holder! Reddit users were asked about their biggest secrets, here's some of them.

1. He doesn't know why.

My parents took me to get my hearing checked when I was 12 because I wasn't responding when they called my name. I pretended not to hear some of the beeps in the hearing aid test room.

As a result, I wore a hearing aid for 2 years when I was 12-14 years old.

I don't know why I did that.



2. The dangers of the special room.

I went to counselling for abuse after my parents divorced, and I was never abused so they put me in the regular room with all the people there who were waiting for their siblings. I claimed my father abused me so I could go to the special room with all the abused kids. It was horrible. I had no right being in that room with all those people, they all were really messed up from what their parents had done to them, and I just got in so I could play Yu Gi Oh.



3. It's heavy baggage.

My dad's a National Socialist and he regularly goes to meetings, I was raised on Germanic folklore and the idea that I'm superior to others because I'm of German decent. I have plenty of Jewish and Slavish friends and I just tell them my dad died when I was younger.



4. A heavy secret to keep.

My freshman year of college I was really hung over one morning and I was back at my parents house for the rest of the weekend.

I was wearing loose fitting athletic shorts with no underwear, and kind of rocking back and forth in front of the TV to feel that satisfying slap (any dude knows what I'm talking about). Well I went to fart but instead a stream of diarrhea squirted out just at the right moment and completely missed my shorts but got all over the carpet.

I went to the bathroom to grab some TP, and by the time I got back to the living room my dad was on his hands and knees cleaning it up and yelling at my dog. I've never had the heart to tell him it was my accident.



5. A business opportunity is born.

In gr.10 my dad made a deal with me. If I got an average of 88% he'd buy me a new laptop. Well the marks came in and I only got something like an 84-85% average. Well screw that, I want my laptop. So I went online to the regional school board's website and downloaded a pdf template of the report card (I dont know why they would have this available). Used a pdf editor to fill in the blanks and voila, got a brand new laptop!

No regrets.

P.S. After I did this, I started selling customized fake report cards for $50 each.



6. Shouldn't be taking pieces of castles anyway though...

I once took a week-long trip to London. My mother asked me to get her a small rock from there, because neither of us have ever been out of the country. So, I spend the whole trip looking for this rock, and finally find the perfect one. Fantastic, she'll love it when I get back.

So I get home, I'm taking inventory of all of my souvenirs, and the rock is gone. I immediately think back to where I last saw it, it was on the bedside table in the hotel in london. Darn. So I quickly run outside and find a decent rock. I clean it off (we live in Georgia, freaking red clay is noticeable) and wrap it nicely.

I eventually gave it to her with the story "I got it from a castle". It'd break her heart to know that I got it from our backyard :0



7. Vacation to the grave.

Well, I certainly hope that my grandma takes the fact that she just caught me masturbating while we are on a giant family vacation to the grave with her...I've never felt so embarrassed.



8. Treasure in the dump.

My dad was a biker. He died in a motorcycle accident. He had this huge old garage/barn that he spent hours in. I was cleaning it out with my sister and we found a locked briefcase buried in a cupboard. We popped the lock and it was full of women's clothing. Stockings, lingerie, things like that. And definitely not my mom's size. I was pissed. He had been cheating on her.

Then I got into his AOL accounts. My mom can't work a computer any better than she could work a spaceship, so I had to go in to shut his accounts down. There I found all of these screen names that he had made over the years. Every one of them had to do with stockings and panties. That's when I realized that the clothing in the briefcase wasn't a woman's. It was his. I found tons of gay porn on his computer as well.

My sister and I swore never to tell and we got rid of all of the evidence. My mom is extremely conservative and even though I don't agree with her point of view, I know it would kill her to find out. That briefcase is sitting in the dump now.



9. My child? Never.

I threw rocks at the school with one of my best mates and some other student tattled on us. Basically we both got the paddle (basically they smack your bum) and they sent a letter home to my dad. My dad received the letter and I lied to him and said I never threw the rocks. My dad bless his heart believed me and took it to our school principle and convinced him that I wouldn't lie about such things. Since the principle wanted to rectify it for my dad's sake, he offered me a free voucher for an icecream as an apology.

It's 15 years down the track now, and I still feel really bad for it. I feel like if I told my dad now it would break his heart.



10. False....but true.

In my younger years I had a neighbor that constantly left a mess in the yard making it look like a junkyard, and they let they kids just run around messing up the entire neighborhood. I tried to sort it out civilly with them by asking them to stop doing things that pissed off everyone, but the only response I got was that I was racist and they would target me and say I touched their kids if I ever talked to them again.

They were grade A jerks so I decided to respond in kind and made an anonymous tip to the cops that they were selling drugs. I did this for maybe 4 months, asking my buddies to make similar tips every now and then.

Well one day I come home from school, the whole neighborhood is outside on the street and the jerk's house had cop cars and a van outside. Turns out the tips worked and the cops finnaly checked it out... but then I see the mother and father getting led out in cuffs. Turns out when the cops showed up it was just two officers, but when they went to the door to talk to them the father took off out the back door. Long story short that made the cops chase him down, drag him back, search the house and end up finding a ton of pills, coke, and weed stashed all over the house. Since they had kids the hammer came down on the HARD for that and in the end they were both arrested for dealing and the kids were taken away.

Not sure if it was the right thing, and I will never let anyone know, but at least after that they weren't messing up the neighborhood anymore.




About 6 or 7 years ago I created a video together with my former boss. He was really passionate about it. After we put it up on Youtube I commented "awesome!" with my private account from home. The next day he was really excited about this comment. Didn't know it was me and I'm going to keep it a secret. It is the only comment this video ever got (at least the last time I saw it).



12. That poor other kid...

In 5th grade I cheated on an exam. My buddy and i were the only two people in the grade who got this particular question correct, but I copied him. The worst part was he was considered 'dumb' while I was at the top of the class, so the teacher was convinced that he copied me and he ended up getting suspended.

Long story short, I was too scared to admit that I was the one who cheated as my parents would have murdered me if I failed the test and even worse if I got suspended.



13. She was adorable!

Me and my girlfriend were playing monopoly and she was so concentrated on the game, on the dice, on her properties. She was just so... Engrossed in the board, that I was constantly taking money out of the bank and keeping it. I feel terrible about it because she was just so adorable trying to play the game and concentrate on trying to win. I absolutely annihilated her because I had so much money. She wasn't a sore loser about it; when we were done playing and it was obvious I had won she just kind of sighed and we watched a movie. The whole time I couldn't stop thinking about how absolutely adorable she looked while trying to concentrate and play. The way she looked at the money she had, and the properties she bought, like she was so proud of them. And I took advantage of that and stole money to win! I learned that from now on winning doesn't matter, I need to focus on having fun with her. But I will take this to the grave because if she ever finds out she'll be enraged.



14. A true friend.

When I was five years old a friend at primary school, whose name is J told me he liked a girl called A and asked me never to tell anyone.

I never have and I never will. Almost 30years and I haven't told anyone. Over the years I've thought about saying something to someone about it but I've never been able to bring myself to do it, just something about the innocence of that promise I guess.

He wouldn't even care now, but 5 year old J would and I don't want to break my promise to him.



15. Mum's favourite tactic.

My mum laughs about this all the time but I don't tell anyone because it makes her sound insane. I was about 4 or 5 at the time and I lived in an area where everyone was a bit rich and snobby. My mum went to visit her "friend" who had two kids. One was a girl and she had this beautiful pink girl bedroom with double bed with a canopy, loads of toys and she was adored by the mum. The boy's room had this cage like cot which he was just sitting in. My mum loves children so didn't like this. One day she asks me "poorelatedthrowaway do you need to go to the toilet? If you do, do it in this bag" now I thought that was a bit weird so I didn't. Eventually we're driving along and there's this tupperware container with a plastic bag with something brown in it. We get to this car park and park up, my mum takes the bag out, walks over to another car and just smears her own human waste all over the windscreen just covering the whole thing it. It was awful. Anyway she threw the bag away and we drive off.

She told me another story about when she was a late teen/young adult and a boyfriend had done something really bad to her. So she did a poo in a box, wrapped it up nicely and left it in his room as a present.



16. Don't put your body in between a dumpster and car.

When I worked at a convenience store, there was a huge dumpster that we were responsible for taking out back every week. It was my turn this week. This thing weighed well over a thousand pounds, but luckily it was on wheels so I just pushed the thing. I wasn't really paying attention, and there was a slight downhill slope in the designated dumpster area. Some jerk parked their convertible in the spot, but by the time I noticed, it was too late. It rolled slowly, but the amount of force it had was incredible.

I was frantic and acting stupidly. The best I could do was try to stop it by putting myself between it, and this worked to a degree, but I wasn't able to push it up the hill and there was nobody around to help me. So I squirmed my way out, listened to the door crunch under a thousand pounds of metal and garbage, and went back to work. Somebody had a bad day that day.



17. Well well well.....

Might as well get this off of my chest...

Without going into great detail (purposely vague), more than five years ago I was a part of a group of 3-5 people that would successfully take the MCAT in place of others for a fee. We were all adept at taking the exam.

Our clients were old money types with kids who could not make the cut (or didn't want to try). The fee was $100k plus any other extra charges. Fake fingerprints, IDs, prosthetics, you name it and we did it.

I had no qualms doing this as my reasoning was "if they can't pass the exam, how would they get through med school + STEPs? Take their money and let them fail out of med."

No problems until one of the clients actually managed to get through school and had racked up some malpractice (thankfully nothing too serious). It hit me hard to the point of attempted suicide. I quit and went to therapy and the group disbanded (for other reasons) shortly thereafter.

I'm much doing much better now, but this info is staying with me from people that I know (and staying with you, random reader).



18. How I got out of Texas

I worked for a shipping company at a customer desk. A guy I had known came in to ship a package. He was a known drug dealer in my town. He didn't recognize me. The package was wrapped in duct tape. I took the package, brought it out back and made it disappear into my backpack. After my shift I opened the package & found $37,890 in cash. I never went back to the job & never heard anything about it. I left Texas a month later with cash in hand.




Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.