People Share The One Time They Just Had To Walk Out On Someone In The Middle Of A Date.
This article is based on the AskReddit question:
"Reddit, have you ever walked out on someone in the middle of a date? If yes, why?"
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
1/15. . She was very attractive and I thought it was going well. But when I mentioned something from the email she had written me, she denied ever emailing me. I laughed and said "well that's how we planned this," but she got angry and insisted we had never emailed.
I laughed it off, thinking maybe it was a joke. But she brought it up again and called me a liar. I told her I wasn't lying and then offered to show her her email on my phone. She said "you faked an email from me?!?" So I just got up and walked out. It was too crazy for me to deal with anymore.
2/15. She was one of my coworker's friends daughter. We met for lunch and she was incredibly horribly rude to the waiter. After she dropped a racial slur about him, I got up, paid the bill, apologized to the waiter, and left.
3/15. Only once.
He didn't look like his picture
He had been doing his PhD in humanities for over ten years at a sub par university
He lectured me on my current studies without even knowing what I was studying as he hadn't asked
He proceeded to pontificate on a variety of political/social topics showing off but was dumb
I decided to wait out the first drink then leave. But he kept bringing the glass to his mouth THEN PUTTING IT DOWN WITHOUT A SIP to continue to lecture me about what he thought he knew something about. That one glass was going forever.
So I left.
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4/15. He got very drunk and would not stop going on about how all of his friends were no fun anymore because they all had girlfriends. I felt sort of bad for him, but then he started getting angry at me when I slowed down on the drinking. He also kept leaving me to go smoke outside. At about 1 am (we met at 7pm) I said it was pretty late and I needed to go to sleep. He got upset, so I stayed. Then almost immediately he went to have a smoke again so I just left.
5/15. Got drinks with a girl I met at a bar a week before. She invited me to a party at one of her friends' places downtown afterwards, so I went along.
Well, an hour later I rounded a corner and found her with her tongue down another guy's throat in the hallway. I just walked out and never talked to her again.
Honestly, I wasn't even that mad. I went and joined my friends at the bar, told them the story, and got a couple free rounds from the cute bartender who overheard. Ended up hooking up with her a couple weeks later.
6/15. Met a girl online, messages me early in the day and is extremely charming and funny, mentions she's having breakfast solo just a block or two from my house. Invites me to join her and we start chatting, get some eggs as she announces that she just fought with her parents (who live on another continent) and is now cut off from her folks who support her financially.
I play the white knight card and immediately offer to pay for breakfast, as I do so she asks to come back to my place to use the wifi. We walk a block or two away, laughing and talking and discussing her life at one of the top 3 engineering schools internationally. I'm into her, she's obviously into me, and we spend the day in and out of bed at my house, lovely long luxurious first date.
Around 10pm, we're having wine on my porch and she confesses to me that she's been living off the dating site we met on, has been off her meds for 2 weeks b/c she can't afford them and proposes that I let her live in my house for the next 8 months until she graduates. Totally stone cold proposition.
I'm faced with the option of either kicking her out onto the street to make her way or trying to help in some way. Freak ing out quietly, I casually ask her if I can play some music from her phone, find her parents contact info, and have a call with her mom (who speaks almost no English) from my bathroom, a fugitive in my own house, until I get the message across.
We furtively coordinate a rescue plan over the next two days while she happily runs around my apartment, doing her best to be an "ideal girlfriend". Third day, her uncle knocks and picks her up.
Still don't know if I did the right thing.
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7/15. When I was 20, I met a beach cop and he asked me out to dinner.
When I got to the restaurant he introduced me to his mother who he had also invited. I ordered a drink, excused myself to the restroom and walked out the door.
I did not see him again because a) despite living in Virginia Beach I rarely went to the beach, and b) he and his mom did not frequent the same bars and clubs as me.
8/15. I met her at a bar, and her mom was there watching over her. Then we ditched that bar and we went to another club, hung out and ran into her step brother there. While we were talking with the step brother, a guy bumped into him hard and I had to get between those two as they were about to come to blows. This was Chicago too, "running" into him seemed too coincidental.
A little later, she said she saw a friend she was going to say hi to while I was waiting in line for us to get drinks. While waiting and after picking up the drinks, I saw her go say hi to the friend, talk for a few, then continue on her way, not heading back my way, and start dancing with a guy. I downed my drink, then hers, then beat it. We drove separately so no big, and figured I dodged a bullet somewhere down the line.
9/15. Met her through some chatroom (early 2000's), she lived 1 town over where I could reach within 30 min by train. Decided to go for it rather spontaneously, it was a Saturday afternoon with plenty of time to waste, so why not.
Arrived at the station, she was pretty enough but had a rather wild look that I couldn't quite interpret. Ladies and gentlemen, until we left the train station it took almost 1.5 hours, she had exchanged pleasantries with every single addict hanging around the property (train stations in German cities are druguser hotspots), and asked if I could lend her 20 EUR that she owed one of them. Told her I didn't carry cash (might have been true, don't remember).
She got pissed, asked how I was supposed to pay for her dinner? To which I replied that I had briefly considered inviting her for dinner indeed (had never been discussed prior), and if so, intended to pay for it using my credit card. But that intention was finished then & there, walked right back in and jumped on the next homeward bound train (they come in a 20 min frequency). And that's how I got a free tour of the Dortmund central station.
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10/15. Got hooked up on a blind date. Go to the place we're meeting up and the guy isn't as bad as I thought. Conversation is flowing, pretty good time and I'm feeling him. Guy then proceeds to insert foot in mouth by complimenting me on my English and how smart I appear to be for a Hispanic unlike others he's tried to date before.
I pulled out my wallet, threw a twenty on the table and bailed.
11/15. I met a girl one night at a bar. She was blonde, well-endowed, fairly attractive, and seemed very nice. She was there with her boyfriend/guy she was dating, but they ended up having some fight and he bailed on her. She said it was over. My friends and I gave her a ride home that night, I even did the gentlemanly thing, letting her wear my coat because it was cold, and we exchanged numbers.
Several days later we got together for drinks at a friend's party. This girl and her sister came down from the smaller town they were from for it.
She did disclose to me that she used to be a stripper, but it didn't faze me at all (although it was hilarious because she had one of the most stereotypical stripper names imaginable). In fact, at this time in my early 20s, all I could think was "wow I'm going to hook up with a stripper!"
After a few drinks she said something about loving my cologne, and wanted to know if she could take my shirt home with her to sleep with, and something about casting some sort of spell on it.
Right around this time, one of my good friends pulled me to the side, saying he needed to talk to me. He had been talking to the sister, who had asked if he wanted to smoke a foil (meth). She said she gets it for free because they live with their aunt and uncle who cook it. I quickly gave him the abridged version about the amateur witchcraft, and we both agreed to bail.
So we left and a couple months later, the girl I almost hooked up with ended up pregnant by a guy who lived down the street from the party, who just so happened to be there that night. I dodged a bullet.
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12/15. Sat down, said hi, she pulled out her phone.
Waiter comes over and she orders a 20 dollar cocktail. He leaves, back to the phone... I tried talking and got one syllable answers. After a minute of silence I asked "so are you seriously going to sit on your phone and ignore me?", which got me a look of "you kidding me?" and right back to the phone.
Waiter comes back with her drink and she orders the most expensive meals off the menu. I order myself and try once more to talk to her and she literally says "look could you just not?"
Penny drops, I'm a meal ticket! I'd heard of this, where girls would just go on dates to get free food and save money, never thought it really happened though. Made sense though, I generally suggest coffee for a first date but she'd insisted on dinner.
Either way, that comment made me furious. I mean I don't expect any kind of sexual obligation from someone if I buy them a meal, nor do I think they owe me a second date or anything like that. But if you show up for a date then you owe me the courtesy of speaking to me.
So I decided to be a little petty. Ordered myself and ate the entree and main (in complete silence). After they cleared the mains and she'd ordered her third 20 dollar cocktail while remaining glued to her phone I excused myself to the bathroom.
Well instead of going to the bathroom I headed over to the front desk where our waiter was... the guy knew what was up and said to me "crappy date huh?" yup!
Apologised to him but said there was NO WAY I was paying for her food or drinks. Despite a "one bill per table" thing he helped me out and I paid for my food (including the dessert I wasn't going to be there for), gave him a tip (tipping isn't a thing here unless you get exceptional service and I counted this) and left. What I paid for my food didn't even reach what she'd racked up in drinks.
So 40 minutes later, which I assume is how long it took her to finish her dessert and then look up long enough to notice I was gone, my phone blew up. Messages about how I was a horrible person and that she couldn't afford to pay and that they'd taken her drivers license until she did, bunch more that were just scrawls of abuse...
I'd say it was "great" but as I was hoping for a nice night out and got a depressing meal in silence instead it really wasn't. Still I was happy to be the one to teach her a lesson... I'm guessing that most guys just shut up and paid for her to reach the level of contempt she showed me.
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13/15. Yes. It was a first date, and we went to a party where he knew everyone and I knew no one. He went from ignoring me to (I think) completely forgetting I was there, so I left (we had taken my car). I went back to my dorm and hung out for a while, and went back when I knew the party was ending, because it was a rented venue and everyone had to leave.
14/14. I want to preface this by saying I'm a fat girl. I have been since I was 12, when I started overeating due to molestation. And the fatness never stopped. But, I always used up-to-date, full body pictures in my dating profiles, because I'm honest. People like different things, right?
So, this guy messaged me, said he thought I was cute. We talked for a couple days online, because we couldn't meet in person right away. I suggested we meet at this cute Mexican restaurant. They know me there, I'd been there once a week for...about three years, if I'm honest about it.
So, we meet. And he's better looking than his picture, about my height (6'0"), very nice smile. We shook hands, even though I could tell he wanted to lean in for a hug, then we sat down. The one thing you have to know about this place is that it's TINY. Five booths and two tables tiny. So, we sat at a booth.
We look over the menu and he ordered flautas and rice and beans. I ordered the same, only beans, no rice. He laughed and said, "I was going to say the picture looks like a lot of food, but I think you can handle it."
Okay, weird, but not untrue, and not inherently rude. The owner brings us our food, a nice woman, the owner (name rescinded to respect the deceased). She asks how I'm doing in Spanish, I respond in broken Spanish. After she leaves, he asks what she was saying, and I told him. He looks sorta...pinched? And just said, "You can talk to ME, y'know."
So I'm eating my flautas, I'd only eaten one and there was three on my plate. I had one in my hand, and he reached over, took my plate, and shoveled half my beans and one of my flautas onto his plate. I just stared at him, waiting for an explanation. He said nothing, just continued to eat. I said, "Um, excuse you, why are you taking my food?"
He sighed, looked at me, and said, "I don't think this is gonna work. I thought I could be okay with your size, but I'm not. Like, if I hadn't taken that food from you, you would have eaten all of it. You think that's attractive? You think any guy wants to sit across from someone as big as you and inhale the food? I'm trying to help you, and you're being rude about it."
I gaped like a fish, I admit it.
Until I got angry. I basically told him off, said I hadn't lied about what I look like, I'll eat whatever the hell I feel like, he's an asshole for trying to police my food, not all men are passive aggressive arseholes who have to control what I do.
The owner came back out, because she could hear everything, I assume. I gave her money for my food and a tip, and I left.
The last part she told me a couple weeks later. Apparently, he tried walking out on the rest of the bill. She told him in broken English he had to pay, and he told her he'd call Immigration on the whole staff.
You see, this tiny restaurant is also an after-shift hangout for the nearby Sheriff's station. And he had caught her in a bad mood about me. So when he walked out the door, and an off-duty officer pulled up to the restaurant, she quickly screamed to the sheriff that my date was walking out on his tab. There was some choice words spoken by my date, and the owner told me she thought he was gonna get arrested, but the guy paid for his food, muttering the whole time about calling immigration and liberal America. (I'm a bit skeptical still about the liberal America part).
He messaged me again a couple weeks later than that (so a month from our date) to tell me no one would want a fat woman like me, and he wasted his time, and I owe him money. I told him off, reported his abuse and blocked him.
[Image credit: Nicoleta Ionescu / Shutterstock.com]
Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.