People Share The Secret They Know Their Partner Is Keeping From Them.

No matter what they tell you, everyone has a private room in the back of their heart. You open the door at your own discretion.

This piece is based on an AskReddit thread. Link on the last page.


1. A fork in the road.

We were long distance when we first started dating. This one time she came up to my place for four days, but I had to work one of the days. When I was gone she had to take a poop and clogged the toilet. She couldn't get it to plunge and was freaking out so she went to the kitchen, got a fork and a plastic bag, and dug the waste out of the bowl.

Giphy

Afterward, she threw all the evidence in a dumpster down the street.

She called her friend panicking and the friend thought it was hilarious. This friend told me about it one night my girlfriend and I moved in together. I find it funny but I don't want to embarrass her!

PinsNneedles

2. Ancient ruins.

Used my girlfriend's phone to Google something one morning and found really old man porn open in a private tab. I had a good laugh about it.

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ChocElite

3. Patron of the arts.

Back when I was first starting to make my artwork public, I had a kickstarter campaign to fund a tour. I had just started dating my boyfriend, but he gave a relatively significant amount of money anonymously.

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He tripped up in selecting his "backer's reward"- an original piece mailed to his house. When I saw the address, I definitely didn't suspect his roommates were just super supportive of my art.

It was so sweet of him, but Ive never let on that I knew.

carpetthrowingaway

4. Pillar of strength.

We were in the hospital for some weird pain that I had, uninsured, and the doctors thought it might be cancer. I lost it a bit. She was so brave for me.

But when her mother called, she went into the bathroom to talk. She didn't realize that the sound echoed pretty loudly, and I could hear every word she said. (continued...)


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I heard her break down, sobbing, telling her mom she didn't know how we were going to pay for treatment and that it looked really bad. I'll never tell her I heard her, but God it was heartbreaking.

When she came out you wouldn't even know she was so upset. She hid it so well. She sat right down and told me everything was going to be fine with such determination and such certainty. Literally took out her computer then and there and started making a spreadsheet of our finances to fit in my cancer.

I knew how much she loved me in that moment and how important it was for her that she was brave for me. I don't know why but I got so calm after that. I haven't broken down like that since, even with worse news. I guess she makes me strong.

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fin_winter

5. Twerk from home.

Found videos of my ex bending over, dancing and twerking in my panties. Never told him.

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terazosin

6. Cover your tracks.

My wife dropped my iPhone in a Port-A-Potty toilet. Luckily there was a big pile of poop which gently held the phone above the liquid. She cleaned it off and gave it back to me. A year later I upgraded and gave her my old phone.

She insisted on purchasing a new cover even though I had a high-end OtterBox. I never understood why until one of the kids ratted her out.

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IClogToilets

7. The midnight cuddler.

He had always said he hates to cuddle at night because it gets hot/ it's uncomfortable/I hog the blankets. However, when he thinks I'm asleep he'll scoot over and wrap his body around me. If I even make a move like I'm awake, he'll run back to his side and pretend it never happened. I think its freaking adorable.

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RockPrincess01

8. The company ink.

She had sex with my boss before we knew each other, before I had been hired into the company. I'm not mad about it or anything, everyone has a past but she carefully dances around ever coming into my work now and I'm careful not to bring him up.

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RexDust

9. Buck naked.

I found out something extraordinary about my husband's past that he neglected to tell me. (continued...)


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He was a prostitute, he was in some adult films, and he worked as an exotic dancer when he was young and hungry. He doesn't think I know. Doesn't know I don't care. I'll never tell.

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How did I find out? Years ago a now-deceased friend of my hubands, someone who'd been in that life too, told me, and showed me proof.

The person I fell in love with was and is the sum total of their life. Middle class morality is not a luxury everyone can afford. It's not a value system everyone embraces regardless.

It's okay by me if people choose to reinvent themselves as they see fit.

koru999

10. Bearly secret.

He spent a ton of money on Boston Bruins tickets this year. Whenever he got tickets to a game, he claimed he got them for free through work but I know he paid for them. I don't really mind since he can spend his money how he wants, but it's funny to me that he thinks I wouldn't realize he's spending a few hundred bucks every time he goes to a game.

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notasugarbabybutok

11. Hiding in the light.

Her ex is in town and she is secretly meeting him behind my back.

I know this because her location is always shared with me due to her habit of forgetting where her phone is.

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barrbill

12. Crack in the facade.

My girlfriend moved out a couple months ago because I threw her (then) 22-year-old son out for doing drug deals in front of my house, doing drugs inside, and stealing from us. I just found out that she was having him do crack runs for her too. I know I should leave her but I worry about what might happen to her if I do.

Anonymous

13. That's so sad.

She says she doesn't want children.

I know that she actually does want children, and that she's not capable of having them, due to stumbling upon some medical records.

ColdCocking

14. I love ALL of you.

He has been hiding that he's autistic from me for ten years. (continued...)


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He had a bad experience with therapy and because of that, he thinks hiding his autism is the most important thing. Except that's like trying to hide an elephant in a bathroom. So it's always a weird charade of me pretending he's not autistic while busting my butt to gently handle that.

I have no idea how to talk to him about it. I know he has a formal diagnosis. He was so traumatized from institutional medical abuse in the name of therapy that even mentioning it or acknowledging it can cause him to have a meltdown. He thinks if I knew, I wouldn't love him anymore, but I've known for YEARS and I still love him.

Giphy

I like him just how he is, I just want things to be easier and less scary for him, and I don't know how to help most of the time because he won't admit the problem.

Sexycornwitch

15. So basic.

At night, once I go to bed, he binge-watches Gossip Girl. He thinks I dont know, and Im perfectly happy to let him go on thinking that.

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cakeisgrape

16. One ring to rule them all.

I found out my fianc was wanting to ask me to marry him but wanted to get a super expensive ring for me so it was taking time to save up. I don't give a crap about that type of thing. I'd marry him without a ring. So I went to his mom and told her what I knew and she told me we should go look at rings together so maybe I could pick something less expensive and she could talk him into it. I know, I'm sneaky.

Giphy

Anyway, I found an incredible ring that was normally $500 but on sale for $100. I bought the ring and she called him and told him what she did. He was so happy! He asked me to marry him on Christmas Eve and it was by far one of the best days of my life. He has no clue that I was involved in the purchase. So he's keeping the secret that he doesn't know that I know.

Zeusimusprime

17. Credit where credit is due.

I found out she had a credit card she had charged $2200 to. I confronted her for hiding it, and she admitted it and paid it off. (That's the stupid part, we had the money in the bank.) Her brother is in prison and he manipulates her into sending him money. She agreed not to do that anymore.

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The other day, I drove her car and there was an invoice stuck down between the console and parking brake lever. She has another credit card. I opened it and discovered she owes $1800 on that one. She doesn't know that I know. Yet.

Beekeeper1987

18. Eating out.

When I was 23, the girl I was dating went out with a friend to "get some food." (continued...)


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Instead, they had sex. He told me the next morning, but she didn't say a word. She actually slept in my bed that night. I didn't end it right away, and that hung over our relationship FOR NINE YEARS.

If you are young and prone to co-dependency please take this to heart. If something goes wrong in your relationship dont ignore it. Don't wait for someone elses poison to soak into your soul. Its not worth it.

18 months after finally breaking up with her, I met my future wife.

antifgrnd

19. Keeping the same secret.

He's bisexual. It's okay. I am too.

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Ladyluck869

20. That's what love is.

Her lupus is getting much worse, much more quickly than she had expected. Apparently there's a ton of scar tissue forming already even though she was only diagnosed two weeks ago. Her legs have swollen so much that she can't bend her knees or walk without intense pain.

The worst part is that she always smiles when I come visit her and asks if I want to go hiking or play tennis (my favorite things). All I tell her is that I'm tired and I'd like to read comic books with her or just lay in bed.

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daftroses

21. Those sounds aren't coming from the backseat.

My ex always hid that he watched porn even though he knew I didnt mind.

The last time I caught him, I had gotten into my car to run errands. But he had his phone synced up to my car. I turned it on and after a few seconds, I heard the unmistakable moaning and slapping of a relatively decent porno. His mother was in the car with me and we both laughed like hyenas.

Giphy

I sent him a text after about five solid minutes of listening and said, "Save that video. I want to watch it with you later."

Cue the sounds turning off and a frantic text saying he was asleep and he had a virus on his phone so he had no idea where it came from.

MedicGirl

22. 40-year-old virgin.

I'm his first girlfriend. He's 42.

Its nothing to be ashamed of, it's just something he doesn't know I know. I wish he'd been up-front about it in the beginning, but it doesn't change how much I adore him in the least.

chefknucklehead

23. Rolling brownout.

A girl I dated a few years back had just graduated with her bachelors so I took her out for a night on the town. Her and our friends got absolutely demolished and I volunteered to be DD. When we get home, I put her into bed and she immediately passes out. I am sitting next to her watching some TV when I smell something. (continued...)


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I noticed that she had just pooped herself. She is one of those people who would be so ashamed of herself if anyone found out so I just... left.

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I called her the next day and told her I dropped her off, got her some water and headed home. Never mentioned her accident herself or anything, so to this day she thinks she did it in her sleep after I left. I could have stayed and helped her clean it up and I probably should have, but she would have cried over that and avoided me for weeks.

Jchriddy

24. In Bruges.

My girlfriend at the time decided to surprise me by buying a holiday to Brussels for us over my 30th birthday. I accidentally intercepted the hotel conformation email, so decided it was a good time to propose, as I'd been considering it for about 6 months.

Act all surprised when she tells me, then when we're having dinner in the restaurant on the first night, I get down on one knee and propose.

Celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary at the end of next month.

SniperKrizz

25. Croutons on the rocks.

Everybody likes snacks, right? Some of us like chips, others like fruit, or yogurt. Well, my wife likes croutons. Frozen croutons to be exact. She tries to hide it like an alcoholic hides bottles of vodka.

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Where does she hide the croutons? In the freezer. At first I'd put them in the pantry when we get home from the grocery store, but they'd always end up in the freezer. I'd be like, "Uh, hun, what's up with the croutons in the freezer?" And she'd act like she had no idea what I was talking about.

Now here's the thing: I've tried them and now I'm addicted to them too. So now I openly eat cold croutons out of the freezer as a snack, and she tells me what a weirdo I am while she eats half the bag with me. No idea why she's embarrassed to admit what a genius she is for discovering such an awesome snack.

becash123

26. What a bizarre lie.

My ex told me before we married that he lost his licence because he drove drunk. He had to retake his test. I later discovered that this wasn't true at all - he'd never even had lessons before, let alone passed his test. He was such an idiot that he preferred me thinking he'd got caught driving drunk, than knowing the truth - that he didnt know how to drive.

hopeless-satsuma

Source.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like

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My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308

Saturdays

My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango

Iraq

I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina

$40

With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3

Crayons

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I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold

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Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.


I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-

Tomash

Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.


An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451

Microwaves

Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence

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How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"

"orange"

"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?

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I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)


The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.

fox_boi2

Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.


I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.

grumblecakes1

Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

Dskee02

Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.

justantherredditgirl

Jewish

Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.

Aslkurloz

Nutella

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3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.

vault_tec_redditor

Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.

Meh75

Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.

weirdatwork2017

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.

Frisby2007

Telekinesis

My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.

dude_bizarro

Ghosts

How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).


How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.

thebeststory

Dogs and Chocolate

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I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.

KlutzyHedgehog

Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.

SFCopperhead

Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.

SirRogers

Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.

MistalQueensglaive

Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.

BugsRatty

Stars In Their Multitude

Giphy

I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.

theedjman

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

droneb2hive

Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.

moniker5000

Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...

10d4plus8

Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.

ScreamingPotoo