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People Share The Weirdest Requests They've Ever Gotten

People ask for strange things, like which pet food is good for humans, or repeated requests to pop a cyst on someone's back. Whatever the case, this thread has some of the strangest requests, and as a bonus, OP digs deeper into the stories.

doggylove69 asked Reddit: What's the weirdest request you've been asked?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


Who is this dog food for?

Back when I worked at a pet store, I had a customer ask me to point out which of our canned dog foods were safe for human consumption. We actually stocked several brands made with human grade ingredients, but when I pointed them out to her, she shook her head and said "no, no, that won't do...he won't like those" and walked out.

I still wonder who "he" was.

ostentia

Old lady? I've heard that some old people lose their taste buds and kind of give up on enjoying food, so they just buy pet food since it's easy to eat and has a lot of nutritious value.

Yserbius

No, she was younger...it was really strange.

so they just buy pet food since it's easy to eat and has a lot of nutritious value.

I've never heard of that before...that's really sad. I can't imagine just giving up on human food. I actually tried the human grade dog food out of curiosity, and while it wasn't bad, it just felt really wrong to eat it.

ostentia

A new way to thump the Bible.

My mother out of nowhere goes, "Will you hit me?" I was shocked and asked what she was talking about. She said she had a cyst on her wrist and wanted me to hit it with a Bible to break it. I told her she probably should have lead with that.

Vlaed

Would have been awkward if you just clipped her with a right hook, good think you asked.

doggylove69

I'd throw a left. She wouldn't see it coming.

Vlaed

You think you could finish her off with just a left?

doggylove69

A nuke wouldn't take her out.

Vlaed

What's the doctor looking for?

Bend over. I was at the eye doctor.

Dirtbagandahalf

What did you do?

doggylove69

Showed him the stink eye

Dirtbagandahalf

Who doesn't want a monkey?

I got a wrong number text once asking me if I had any monkeys. When I said I did not, they asked if I needed a best friend.

FoodYarnNerd

Did you guys become best friends?

doggylove69

No. I offered to be buds but then they ghosted me. 😔

FoodYarnNerd

"Smell this" never ends well.

My pregnant wife asked me to smell her crotch and tell her if the baby was "making her vag smell like feet?" since she didn't trust her nose.

Romance ain't dead.

my_future_wife

Did her vag smell like feet though? And congrats

doggylove69

I thought it smelled more like vinegar. That information stays between us though.

my_future_wife

The details are not important.

I was pressured into pretending I was a horse.

TimelyCockroach

Uhh please explain.

doggylove69

I'm not sure what additional information you need? It's all there in the original comment.

masssivebumwizard

That's it, I'm kinkshaming.

I used to be on a website, OMG-Facts and the "facts" they posted everyday got so ridiculous and specific that I made a mention on their forum that I was going to post a fact that I picked my nose that day - Someone called me out and said there was no verifiable proof - So here I am a guy in my early 20s trying to prove a point and I make a 1 minute video of me picking my nose to post on youtube - People laughed and agreed with me and I forgot all about it.

Fast forward about 4 years and I get a private message on youtube, which is really weird because I only have a couple of videos that nobody has ever really seen and don't interact with the community. It's some guy across the world who wants to pay me to film more nose picking videos. He could have just been trolling me, but I kept responding to him with ridiculous requests trying to get to the bottom of it. And he kept answering - Until I told him the price [which wasn't outrageous but I guess outside the realm of nose picking videos]. Again i forgot all about it.

Until THIS F*CKING YEAR my fiancee sends me a screenshot of some guy on instagram saying something along the lines of "Please tell Egnards to allow my message request.". . .The thing is I rarely check instagram so hadn't even seen the request. . .Turns out it was some kid in like Brazil who fell in love with me because of that video and wanted me to post more.

egnards

The real question is.. did you move to Brazil to be with your true lover?

doggylove69

In my younger years I would have been an ass but in my wise older years I tried to let him down gently.

egnards

The answer is always yes.

"Oh boy! It's filled back up - can I please pop your sebaceous cyst again?" - my wife referring to the large cyst on my back I've had for 15+ years that she likes to poke, prod and squeeze about once a quarter. She calls this procedure 'harvesting'. I'm largely indifferent, but she gets a kick out of it - happy wife, happy life I guess.

BroodingBryanAdams

Your wife is so lucky.

xLedopmi

Notice there was no "no" here.

I've gotten offers for my virginity.

gabriey

What's the highest one? And also what price would you set it at? Asking for a friend.

doggylove69

Highest 5k, lowest 500. I plan on giving it to my SO but if I got a ridiculous large offer I'd probably accept it.

gabriey

Again just asking for a friend, but could someone pay you monthly if they didn't have all the money right now?

doggylove69

They could pay however they want as long as they pay everything beforehand

gabriey

Hello miss I give you 9 goats.

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