People Share The Weirdest Thing A Child Has Ever Asked Them.

Kids are inhibited and creative, sometimes leading them so say the funniest and most outrageous things.

Here, people share the most unusual thing a child has ever asked them.

1. One time I was with my boss and his grandkids. They were like 8 end 4 I think. My boss and I were talking about how someone got arrested. The younger one asked what we meant so I explained how an arrest works. As I'm talking about it, he interrupts me to ask in a loud serious voice "What if he turns into a dinosaur?" I wasn't sure what the police do in that situation.


2. My son finally asked that fateful question question, "Where do babies come from?" As I start explaining it to him he looks up at me wide-eyed and exclaims, "Does that mean your sperm is in me!?"

I am so glad we were not in public or else anyone overhearing his question may have gotten the wrong idea...


3. A 7 year-old in my class asked if time was real or just something we measured with a clock.



4. My nephew asked his Kindergarten teacher, "How did people make the first tools, if they didn't have any tools?" I thought that was pretty sophisticated for a 5 year old. He also asked me when he was 6 (he was playing with action figures), "What if the 'bad guys' think they're the 'good guys'? And what if the guys I think are good are really bad?"


5. A child approached my father, who is 6'6', and asked "Mister, are you God?"


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6. "Why is hate more important than love? I can love my mom and love cookies but its not the same love. But if I say I hate broccoli everyone gets mad saying its a bad word. Why isn't love a super good word if hate is super bad?"

Words from the six year old I babysit.



7. As a camp counselor I had a cabin of 7 and 8 year olds for three days and two nights. On the last day I'm sitting next to one of the kids and he asks me.

"Are your parents dead?"

I respond "Uhhh, no. Why do you ask?"

He says, "I'd be very sad if my parents were dead. I'm glad yours aren't either, lets go swimming!"

I just sat there for thirty seconds and thought about it. After they left that day I called my parents and told them I loved them. Kids, man.


8. My four year old daughter came to the conclusion that Santa Clause moonlights as a pirate 364 days of year. She figured they both have beards, they wear the same boots and belt, and both say Yo Ho Ho, Merry Christmas. I thought that was pretty outstanding for a little kid.



9. My 5 year old son asks me this kind of stuff all of the time. It's amazing to watch their brains grow and their reasoning skills develop. Last week he asked me why flies think gross stuff smells good and good stuff smells gross. He came up with his own hypothesis. He figured, their lungs are upside down.

I had to call my wife to tell her.


10/29. If you are Santa and Mom is the Tooth Fairy, which one of you is God?


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11. My four year old brother: Do people die like flowers do?

My mother didn't know what to say.


12. My little brother once asked, "Why do I have two eyes if I only see one thing?"

Fairly easy to explain to him now, but that was damn impressive for a 4 year old.


13. Son: "Daddy, do you like my penis?"

Me: "Um, it's alright I guess. Do you like your penis?"

Son: "I think it's great! Especially when it gets STROOOOONG!" (As he flexed both arms).


14. "What are those? Is this the morning when we wake up? What's a planet?" Asked all at once then he ran off and pretended to be a super hero.


15. The best one I've ever heard was the little girl I babysit once asked me "What's wrong with two girls getting married?" I was stunned and asked her why she thought they couldn't. She said her mom said it something that only "bad" people did. Being a lesbian (though I doubt her mom knew that) I was shocked (story continued on the next page...).

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She goes on to tell me that someday she's going to marry her best friend even if that's bad. I told her to go play in her room and sat down and had a good cry. I'll never forget that.


16. "Why do most grown ups still act like little kids?" Amen.


17. Once, as I was leaving work, I passed a young boy and his mother in line for the cash register. The little boy looked up at his mum and said "Mummy, what is this?" She replied, "It's a line, sweetie." The kid then looked around, wide-eyed, and shouted, "Oh my God - I'm in a Line!"



18. Shopping at our local supermarket, my 3 year old (at the time) looks around, and suddenly asks, at the only volume he knows (11):

"Daddy, are these all those 'stupid people'?"


19. While on a flight a little girl turned to me and said, "If the Care Bears live up here, then where does Jesus live?"


20. I was explaining to my then five-year-old daughter why we separate recyclables from the trash (story continued on the next page...).

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I told her that the aluminum cans were going to a place where the metal would be melted and made into something useful. She didn't even pause. "You mean a robot?"

Proud father-daughter moment.


21. When I was in kindergarten, a magician came to our class. He had a handkerchief and he said he was going to make it disappear into the 4th dimension. One of the kids in my class raised his hand and asked, "Isn't the 4th dimension time?"


22. My niece, while I escorted her to a public restroom "Do you hear that noise? That's me pooping. Do you smell that? Sometimes my poops smell. You wouldn't want to live in a butt, would you? There's just a lot of poop and I don't think you would like that."

All while giggling.


23. My youngest brother:

To some random woman (probably in her 80s), "WOAH! HOW DID YOU GET SO WRINKLY??"


24. "Mom! My penis is poking out, how do I make it stop?"


25. My nephews, 3 and 5, are obsessed with their wieners. They were proudly showing em off after a swim and asked to see mine. I explained I had a vagina not a penis. The littlest one prodded me in the crotch (awkward) and said "Are you sure?"


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26. On seeing her baby brother in the bath (first time seeing a penis), my daughter said: "I'm worried, should his bottom be sticking out like that?"


27. I saw a kid, many years ago (probably back in '85-'89, when I lived in DC), at the Vietnam Memorial, tugging on his Vietnam veteran dad's one remaining arm, and looking at "the wall". "Dad, how come there's so many names?"


28. This year at christmas, my aunt wrapped my 3 year old cousin's present three separate times to bug her. After unwrapping the first two layers, she looked up and sighed, "Is this really necessary?"


29. My Son: Hey dad, when are you gonna die?

Me: I don't know, hopefully not for a long time.

My Son: Oh...well when you and mom die I want new parents.

Me: You what?

My Son: I love you guys, but I need parents. I'm not old enough to use the stove.

Very pragmatic for a 4 year old.

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You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.

The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.

Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"

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