People Share The Weirdest Thing Their Pet Does On The Regular.


From the dog that requests a pillow to sleep on, to the cat that listens to human commands given to him, 30 people share the oddest thing their pet does.

[Source can be found at the end of the article]

1. The toilet paper bringer!

So, this is kind of terrifying to me, but it's adorable at the same time, I suppose.

My cat knows how to open doorknobs. He's learned that, with me being a female, I can't leave the bathroom without using toilet paper. If he wants something and I'm in the bathroom, he'll open the door, grab the toilet paper that is hanging down with either his teeth or his paw and pull it and bring it to me. He'll then sit and wait and if I don't use it (doesn't matter if I'm on the toilet or not) he'll get more.

Doesn't matter if I'm in there to shower, brush my teeth, or take a piss. Neville will make you use the toilet paper until he gets what he wants.


2. What an amusing parrot

My parrot has a routine where he will ask himself "Wanna scratch?" and proceed to gently stroke his head with one toe, all while softly murmuring to himself "Good boy... a good boy". He'll then bite his toe and, after a moment, yell: "OWWWW! DON'T BITE! YOU BAD BIRD!".

He also speaks in his "man voice" whenever he sees someone with short hair, male or female. He'll also randomly say "I love you", followed by "What the hell.


3. The dog that knows how to tell time

My dog goes to bed at 8:30pm every night. And when I say goes to bed I mean he stops whatever he is doing, leaves whoever he is with, and goes upstairs, alone, gets into my bed, pulls the pillows off, digs back the covers, and burrows under and goes to sleep. Then when I come to bed later on, he acts annoyed that I am waking him up.

The oddest thing about this is that he does it at 8:30, every night, without fail. Not 8:25 or 8:33, but 8:30. No idea how he does that. He cannot tell time as far as I know.


4. The sprinter cat

My cat uses the litter box and sprints down the stairs and does laps around the couch. We've dubbed it "poop 'n split.


5. The caring Pomeranian

Whenever I'm having a bad slump in my depression, I pace. My Pomeranian will follow behind me and lightly touch his nose to the back of my heel each time I take a step to remind me he's there, following me for hours just nudging me so I don't forget that I'm not alone. When I finally sit down, he curls up in my lap and nuzzles my stomach until I feel better.

If I don't pace, he'll still stay as close to me as possible. He'll sleep jammed against the leg of my chair and the baseboard of the kitchen counter on the tile floor. He'll cry at me if I go upstairs without him. I can't even take a shower without him sitting in the bathroom with me. He only ever does this when I'm not feeling well. When I'm feeling alright, he generally keeps to himself.


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6. This little hunter

My cat goes and kills so many birds and mice like any other cat will do, but when he brings them in he puts them in the toilet. Its a weird thing to walk in the bathroom and see a dead bird in the toilet.


7. Cats are cute weirdos

This is probably common cat behavior, but regardless how much food is in the cat's dish, he freaks out if he can see the bottom of the dish - as if he's in danger of starving to death that very moment.

If you just nudge with the dish with your foot so that the bottom is once again covered with food, then he calms right down.


8. This giant pit bull

My dog refuses to get up off the couch and go to bed on her own. My husband has to pick her up off the couch, cradle her like a baby while he carries her upstairs, and then has to tuck her into her bed. She's a 50 pound pit bull.


9. No making eye contact with this one

My dog wouldn't piss if anyone was watching.

She'd get in the right position, in a suitable patch of grass then make eye contact as if to say: 'some privacy please?


10. The television watcher

My dog watches TV, specifically commercials. He even knows which ones have dogs, cats, monkeys, and other animals by listening for a specific jingle or name to be mentioned. Scooter has watched TV since he was a puppy. Initially, he would just glance and bark at the TV when an animal showed up across the screen, but he'd soon return to playing with his toys. Today, he's addicted to the TV when it's on. He could be gnawing on a fresh piece of rawhide, but once the Bud Light "Weego" dog commercial starts (just the first sounds of the commercial are enough to trigger him), he props himself in front of the TV and waits for Weego to show up. It's amazing how he continues to learn which commercials and TV shows have animals, and he can recognize animal shapes (Sirius radio dog silhouette). He spotted a border collie in a BlackBerry commercial once, and they had other similar ones without the dog. So, when BlackBerry ran a version of that commercial with their jingle, he'd wait for the 1 second showing of the border collie. Even, Flo from Progressive gets him going, cause that series has a few with goats and dogs in it. It's gotten to the point that during the actual show, let's say the Stanley Cup Finals, he just hangs out. As soon as the NHL theme song plays to cut to commercial he's already sitting up in front of the TV waiting to see what commercial will feature an animal.


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11. The well-trained cat

My last cat would only scratch brick, play with his toys and then arrange them in his toy box afterwards, play fetch, and loved strangers. I never trained him to do any of that. You could also tell him to do things and he'd do them such as "throw that away," "go get your mousey toy," etc. You didn't have to give the exact command either, he wasn't trained to do these things, just learned them along the way. If you told him to do something he didn't like such as put his favorite toy in the garbage, he'd dig it out later when you were sleeping and put it back in his toy box.


12. A dog and her chews

My dog absolutely loves chews - regular rawhide sticks, pig ears, you name it. The twist is that she very, very rarely actually chews on them. Oh no. She will put one in her mouth, systematically pace every square inch of the space, and finally proceed to hide it. If you see her doing this, it's all a bust, and she has to find a new spot. She occasionally hides one, only moments later to decide that her spot wasn't good enough, at which point she retrieves it...rinse, repeat. Sometimes, she'll pick a spot but can't quite get it hidden enough. This usually manifests as her nosing the chew hundreds of times into a particular crack in a chair's cushions, or into a fold in our big beanbag seat. Then, something magical happens. She gets pissed at it - the chew, the she starts whining. She will whine, very loudly, at life, and it sounds like a pigeon having a stroke.


13. Craving cuddles

My Australia cattle dog will try to kick my wife off the bed so that she can cuddle with me. My wife hates getting licked by dogs so naturally my dog will pin her down until she leaves. If that doesn't work she will sneak onto the bed in the middle of the night to cuddle with me.


14. The restroom buddy

My cat showed up on our back porch one day, and after the proper amount of time/vet visits/searching for her possible owners, we adopted her. At first we put her litter box in my parent's bathroom, and so she started to sleep in their room too. Any time my dad would wake up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, she would go ahead and get up too. She would stretch, follow him into the bathroom, and tinkle right next to him before following him back to bed. Every night.


15. This genius cat

My cat loves vegetables and won't get out of my face when cooking. He gets excited whenever I cut an avocado, but I'm afraid to let him try it. I have to put him in a separate room just to eat guacamole.

He also does his best to unplug my phone charger from the wall each night while I am sleeping. I've deduced that he wants my phone to die so my alarm won't go off causing me to miss work and stay at home with him.


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16. The pillow-loving dog

My dog won't sleep without a pillow under her head. She'll lay awake next to me staring at me, I'll place a pillow next to her face, she'll adjust so her head is comfortable, and then she's out like a light within thirty seconds.


17. The bath giving kitty and the skittles loving horse

My cat gives my significant other "baths" every day. He just waits till he's laying down and then goes and licks his hair for him. He is compelled to do this every time my significant other's head is within reach. He's a few slices short of a loaf I think, but really sweet.

My horse loves skittles apparently. He stole the pack I was eating and tipped it into his mouth. You could hear all the skittles hitting his teeth. Then he gave the empty pack back to me.


18. A confused cat

This may be considered an "odd personality thing" or an "incredibly stupid cat thing". I lean towards the latter.

I live in a single-level house with a full basement that has only one way in or out. One of my cats will routinely go into the basement, stand roughly in the middle, and then meow forlornly until someone goes downstairs and 'rescues' him. Apparently, he gets lost and has no idea how to get back up the staircase that he just walked down mere seconds before.


19. The super excited dog

My dog is so excited to get out of his crate when I get home from work, he frequently forgets to stretch until he gets half way down the stairs. He ends up stretching his back legs straight out and sliding all the way down the stairs on his belly.


20. What a clever cat

My sisters cat has a few annoying quirks. Don't get me wrong, the cat is super affectionate and loves people, but he had some bad habits. He would always knock over glasses of water and milk. Empty cups? Untouched. He would check for liquid contents before flipping the cup, waiting for you to notice and shout, and then he would run away. Also, he used to eat paper that had writing on it. He started to realize that paper with writing got more attention than him; he didn't like that so he destroyed them. Blank paper was left alone.

He's a drama queen, too. Once, he hurt his paw and had a limp. Obviously, we babied him until it healed. When it did, he would hold up one of his front paws up like it was injured. We were worried until I caught him walking normally. He noticed me and pulled up a paw.


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21. How this dog wants to say hi to other dogs

My dog lays down in the middle of our walk if she wants to say 'hello' to a dog walking towards us. She wont move from the laying position until we ask her, 'do you want to say hi?.


22. Repeating the same routine over and over

When my dog eats, she takes the food out of her bowl, and runs across the house, to her favourite chair, to eat about 3-5 pieces of dog food. She'll do that about 4-5 times until she realizes it's too much work, and she just eats out of the bowl. Every. Single. Day. She never learns.


23. Too fussy about bowls

The fluffier of our two cats has this weird thing against bowls. Doesn't like it when the water is in them. He'll drink from a running faucet. He'll drink out of a glass. He will splash water on the floor and lick it up. Won't stick his tongue in the bowl.

It's to be expected. Basically his only observable skill is laying on things.


24. This dog has some cute little quirks

Whenever anyone talks to my dog, he will look away, making him superior to anyone else. He always wants to be close to people, but never comforted. If you comfort him, he will look away and if you try to make him look at you, he'll turn the other way. He won't have his pellets until he's 100% sure no other food is readily available. If you try 'go fetch' with him, he'll fetch it, come close, but not give it over. If you try to walk him while it's raining, he'll just sit down, look at you, and wait for you to give up.

The three things he will NEVER disregard are the doorbell, food (when mom/dad let the rest of the family know it's time for food, he always shows up first) or the chance to lick human ears. Like, he'll shove his tongue in, clean your ears, and then just chill out. Best thing ever is when the doorbell rings while he's eating. He'll be hesitant to move, hesitant to eat, and end up barking in his bowl, running around a corner as if he's going for the door, and come back to his food.


25. This cat likes to live on the edge

My cat, Todd, isn't the brightest. He enjoys catching mice and small injured birds. He catches them and brings them through the cat door (upstairs) and brings them to my room (which is down stairs and the furthest location from the cat door). The catch is, they're never dead. I've woken up to live birds flying around my room and my cat playing with a live mouse at the foot of my bed.


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26. Maybe the other one has more food?

My two cats only drink water out of the other's dish. They each have separate food and water dishes in the kitchen about 10 feet apart, same food, same water. But they will always eat some food, then go over to the other cat's water to drink.


27. Abnormal eating habit

One of my dogs is incapable of eating normally. He will take a couple of kibbles out of his bowl, run over to wherever you are, look directly at you, and loudly crunch his kibbles. Once that mouthful is finished he will run back and get another, repeating the whole process. I should mention that he is a pug mix and he looks completely ridiculous at the best of times, when he's eating it's just weird.

He is also obsessed with spinach.


28. Cat likes to be petted while eating

If you don't pet the cat, he will follow you around and bother you. He even goes on hunger strikes. So we pet him, and he shoves his face in the bowl trying to purr, wiggle his butt, and shovel food down his mouth all at once. This results in him making weird purring choking sounds and food and drool getting everywhere.


29. What a brilliant dog!

My dog will bark if I ask him or anyone else in the same room as him a question. Some how he knows. Yet when anyone else does this, he stays eerily quiet and just stares at them.

I go to school out of state, so he lives at home being taken care of by my parents. He refuses to heed any command given to him by either of my parents, but once I'm back home he listens to my every command or comment. My mom will ask tell him to go outside, he lays down, but if I tell him to go outside, or even listen to mom, he does. It's the weirdest thing ever.

Lastly, the only instance where is other two quirks don't apply. If my parents or anyone else accuses me of anything. For instance, turning down the air, eating someone else's food, or anything like that. I can say "Ask the General." When they do, he'll either sit quiet or bark once, we figure the barking means yes, silence means no. I've gotten out of being in trouble because my dog covers my back.


30. So many weird quirks

Aussie blue cattle dog x black labrador.

"Talks", mumbles, grumbles, says "haaarrroooaaww!" when he sees you. Eats rocks, lumps of concrete, bits of terracotta. Has chewed through power cords, a steak knife, random pieces of plastic, ate about 10m of rope, eats snails and crickets. And a big bowl of mashed pumpkin.

Freaks out if we're out walking and one of us wanders off will try to round you up with the rest and looks all concerned until you are.

He bails up echidnas and bearded dragons pretty regularly. Beware the highly dangerous echidna! "GUYS! GUYS! GUUYYYSSS!! DAD! MUM! MUUMMM! IT'S BACK! GUYS! THE ECHIDNA IS BACK! DAD!?"

Also he hates anyone in uniform, and likes anyone with a beard.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.