People Share The Wildest Things They've Said After Waking Up From Anesthesia.

Everyone has seen the amazing viral videos where people wake up from being under anesthesia saying the most bizarre things.

Here's a list of people confessing the most embarrassing things they said after waking up.


Many thanks to all the Redditors who responded. Check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!

35. Awwww poor lil sock :(

When my buddy woke up from anesthesia, he went to the bathroom and got dressed. His girlfriend heard him sobbing after being in the bathroom for 10+ minutes, and asked what was wrong.

He said, through tears, that he couldn't find his other sock. She laughed and told him she would find him more socks later. When they got home, he immediately crashed on the bed, and she took off his shoes so he could be comfortable...he had two socks on one foot.


34. I know you would have if you could have.

When I woke up, all the doctors were laughing. I was confused and asked what happened. Apparently when going under, I screamed "I will save JFK!" I don't even know.


33. I'll show you!

I recently had wisdom teeth out. I'm needle phobic, so I was terrified before going down. They gave me some gas and air, which wasn't really working. They then started pumping anaesthetic through, which made me decide I was feeling brave, so I told them to stop and go for the needle.

My last memory before blacking out was a Scottish nurse saying 'I'm not surprised you want us to try, you've had enough anaesthesia to knock most people out. Not that you'll remember this when you wake up'.

Well, I did remember, and upon coming round saw her across the room with her back to me. I decided to apologise for causing such a fuss, but it was a bit Austin Powers-esque and it turned out I was having some trouble controlling the volume of my voice. Thus, I ended up screaming 'SORRY!' from behind the poor woman, who dropped her papers, and nearly hit the floor in fright.


32. "Welcome to my butt!"

I was under some sort of anesthesia getting a colonoscopy when the proctologist called in several other doctors to get a look at something on the endoscope (?) screen.

When they came into the room I proudly announced in my best radio voice "Welcome to my butt!"



31. Wait wait... go back to the part with the pipe...

One time I went into the ER because I got hit in the head with a giant metal pipe. They had to give me a spinal tap to make sure my brain parts weren't bleeding. They gave me some kind of amazing drug through my i.v and I felt really really good.


The thing they clamp onto your finger for your pulse had a red light on it. I kept saying Ellliottt Ellliottt to the nurse (like ET) and the nurse had to leave the room because she was laughing so hard.


30. Trust me, that's just what it does.

A couple of years ago when I woke up after having my wisdom teeth taken out, I was freaking out because I was certain there was a sink that was somehow moving around by itself (I was under anesthesia), and the nurse finally calmed me down and told me not to worry by telling me that the sink always does that.



29. How literary of you...

I quoted Fahrenheit 451 according to my doctor. I was awake, but not really there, so he asked me who's the president, I answered Bush. Asked what state I was born in, I said "the state of innocence".


28. I love the "sort of".

A patient woke up singing and (sort of) dancing to 'love shack' by the B-52's. We all subsequently joined in dance.


27. What if...

A friend was walking me out of the hospital after a simple surgery. Supposedly I stopped in the crowded waiting room and asked loudly "What if this is as good as it gets?"


26. Or did he?

My brother was in tears talking about how his pet lizard died. He never owned a lizard.


25. Don't apologize. he needed a new pair anyway.

I kid you not I had this 6 year old kid coming out and he just screams "Mom I ate dads sweatpants I'm sorry!"



24. Not always so timid after all.

I woke up out of surgery twice, once was during my wisdom tooth removal. I groaned angrily at the surgeon for hurting me and he shushed me, and told me to go back to sleep, which I did immediately.

The second time was during my tonsil removal, I woke up, freaked out and vomited blood all over myself and the surgical staff. When they finished up and rolled me out of the OR my Mom was in tears frantic.


Turns out when they pushed the morphine and I was allergic, it woke me up, made me puke but didn't even offer any pain relief. I grabbed the nearby nurse's scrubs, pulled her down to my face level and screamed in her face to give me some pain killers. She said they gave me the maximum dose and it would kill me to give me more.

They had to have orderlies hold me down. I blacked out for a bit and woke up crying, blind, with blood being wiped out of my eyes. I kept fighting the nurses off in terror so they had to strap me down. The allergic reaction to the morphine caused my eyes to swell shut and I couldn't control my instinctual urge to scratch while sedated and nearly damaged my own eyes.

I'm a quite timid, 20 year old female from Canada. I was 18 when I had my tonsils removed.


23. Niiiiiiiiice.

After having my wisdom teeth removed, my mouth was full of gauze and blood. Talking was painful and very difficult. Still, I apparently managed to choke out how beautiful my nurses eyes were.

I'm pretty smooth.


22. Ouch...

My doctor said that I was singing show tunes. I guess one of the nurses tried to sing along and I stopped and told her she was singing flat.



21. Feed the dang chickens!

When my friend was having her baby, she was heavily medicated and kept yelling at everyone in the room "Get the chicken feed! The chickens are hungry! Feed them!"

Disclaimer: She does not now, nor has she ever lived in a farm.


20. Better out than in...

My dad's first colonoscopy, doctor had a new/learning/something female doctor with him. My dad couldn't hold the fart that he was apparently supposed to suppress. He let one rip, and heard the male doc say "This is why we don't wear nice shoes to work"

My dad pooped on the nice lady's shoes.


19. How can you lie on the bed if you're made of lasers?

Not a doctor, but when I underwent anaesthesia for surgery on a hernia, my surgeon told me that I said "You can't stop me; I'm made of lasers" as I fell asleep. Not only that, I said "We need more Monroe Doctrine people" when I started to wake up.

I'm very weird. Just ask any of my exes.



18. What noise, exactly?

After I came out of anesthesia following a colonoscopy, I apparently grabbed the nurse's hand and said very earnestly, "I don't ever want to drink that stuff again, okay? It sounded like I was making cappuccino in the bathroom."


Then I made the noise at her.

My husband said he was astounded that I said that because it's so unlike me, but when I topped it off by making the noise he was laughing so hard he could barely breathe.


17. Can I take a request?

Heard the heart monitor beeping, started smiling and humming and blurted out "TURN IT UP! I LOVE THIS SONG!!!" The doctor and nurses thought it was hilarious.


16. Well, that's quite a combo there.

After I got my wisdom teeth removed, I awoke to tell the dental surgeon how Batman and Catwoman should have "BatCat babies", and then I convinced my brother to take me shopping. I bought a Batman movie and men's dress socks.


15. I'm sure that's not true!

Waking up after an emergency c-section: "Water..." A split-second later: "Baby?!?" (Baby's fine.) "Oh god, I'm a terrible mother!" (for thinking of water first).



14. "I was screaming this all in German."

I had my sinuses and such fixed. I came out of surgery screaming at the doctor and nurses "You're not finished! You're not finished! I'm awake!" because apparently I watch too much tv and was horrified that I had woken up in the middle of surgery.

The catch? I was screaming this all in German. I was still better than the guy next to me in recovery who was convinced the oxygen mask was killing him.


13. I'm sensing the next big fashion craze.

When I went to get my wisdom teeth pulled, my mother was in the room with me when I was being put under. Groggily I told the doctors to keep my teeth and give them to me after the surgery. My mother asked, "What are you going to do with them?" I said, "I WILL MAKE A NECKLACE OF HUMAN TEETH", and cackled. She found this less amusing than I did.

When I woke up the doctors had put my blood-encrusted molars in a little plastic ziplock.



12. I would be...

I woke up from nasal surgery, I was telling the nurse all about how I forgot to unload the guns before putting them in the back of the van. She looked a tad terrified.


11. A baseball accident?

My cousin needed surgery after a baseball accident (he was 12 or 13 at this point) and he came out of the anesthesia and said "Mom...I'mma, I'm a...para...para....parallelogram."


10. Well... that's pretty rude...

Was getting a tooth removed, while the anesthesia was setting in I told the nurse to shut her mouth.


9. Can I? PLEEAASSEE!!??

One of my best friends woke up from his wisdom tooth removal begging the doctor to let him be David Bowie. The doctor actually asked how that was supposed to happen, and the answer was that "it would be fantastic."

Sadly I myself woke up alone, so nobody heard whatever I might've said.



8. Bring it here!

When I woke up from my wisdom teeth surgery with gauze in my mouth, I demanded a glass of water because I had "cotton mouth."


7. Use the force.

When I woke up from anesthesia from an appendectomy I loudly screamed that I was hot, stood on my bed and ripped my gown off while my entire family was there. I also demanded that I see Luke Skywalker because he knew what was wrong with me. This could be due to my surgeon's name being Mark Hamill.



6. Why don't you care?

When I came out of anesthesia from a surgery a couple years ago the nurse came over to check on me and I started telling her how awesome Duck Tales is. She gave me this sort of "Yeah, that's great" look and walked away.


I got really offended that she wasn't listening to me and started singing the Duck Tales theme song. "Duck Tales! Woo-hoo!"


5. That must be so painful.

Twisting a testicle is painful, like really painful, so I'd had morphine and gas and air, and after having emergency surgery I woke up a bit fuzzy headed, the doctor was there and I simply asked "Did you have to shave my balls".

Interestingly not only did they shave my balls but before my accident one ball was slightly lower than the other. They kindly levelled them out during the operation. So I basically got free plastic surgery on my balls.


4. That is technically true...

After my little brother came out of surgery, he said "we are not cat people".



3. Creepy as all heck!

Not a doctor yet but working on it. I checked up on this older lady who had a few things go wrong during surgery and had to be resuscitated and all, anyway, as soon as she's awake she tells me this "I went and saw my husband last night (he died 5 years ago!) and they're having such a nice place where he is now. It's really very comfortable and lovely.

He wanted me to stay with him but I told him I can't because I really want to see our grandson get married." It was creepy! Her daughter in law also works at the hospital and it's a small town so we all know each other and after a few weeks I asked how the lady is doing... apparently she passed away two days after her grandson's wedding...


2. Thank the lord you were wrong...

I was having surgery on my right leg, woke up in the middle of the operation and yelled to the doctor "what are you doing to my right leg it was the left leg" and felt back asleep.

After I came out from the surgery, the doctors told me that there was about 5 seconds of pure panic in the operating room and the doctor went pale as a sheet of paper.



1. What a perk!

My husband told me when I woke up from having my wisdom teeth removed, I was furious at the oral surgeon. I was attempting to yell at him him for taking MY teeth to put under HIS pillow and the Tooth Fairy was going to give HIM the money MY teeth had earned.

He patted his lab coat pocket and said, "Perks of the job, sweetheart." Must have been a good response, because my husband said I dropped it immediately.



Thumbnail Photo Credit: pathdoc / shutterstock

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.