People Share The Worst 'Stabbed In The Back' Moment They've Experienced.
This article is based on the AskReddit question "Who did you trust completely only to have them betray you?"
[Sources can be found at the end of the article]
1/17. Two weeks before Christmas, my SO (now ex) left me for a younger woman. We were together for almost 18 years. After he left me, I never heard from our friends again. I guess they chose him.
2/17. After 8 years of marriage, she tells me she's sexually interested in other people. So one day, we go out for her birthday with some friends and she's all over this dude she was crushing on right in front of me, staring into his eyes, touching him, flirting, smiling at him, staying in his space instead of coming anywhere near mine.
I think cheating would have been less of a betrayal of trust.
3/17. My boss. I was a bookkeeper at a bar & restaurant. In getting them more financially organized through the magic of Excel, I informed him that they were making a ton less money that they thought. I was laid off as a cost-cutting measure a month later.
4/17. My ex-in-laws. After I left my ex they took me and my kid in while I looked for an apartment and continued to offer help (help finding furniture, looking after my kid for a few hours occasionally, that kind of thing) after I moved out and I thought it was because they genuinely wanted to help.
Until child protection contacted me and told me that my ex-in-laws had made numerous child abuse/neglect reports. For instance they reported that I was neglecting and not wanting to care for my child when they would ask to spend a few hours with her. They wrote a letter to the social workers asking about the possibility of them adopting her. Culminated in them getting a doctor friend to write a report saying I physically abuse her and her life is in danger. And once the hospital ruled that out (took her to get examined and spent 3 days there) they decided to say its sexual abuse. After that was ruled out they pretended it was all my ex's idea.
Never will trust them again and really hope my kid will never spend time with them again but that's not my decision to make.
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5/17. A friend begged me for a job in high school. I had a sweet gig going and didn't want to mess anything up. I finally gave in and landed him the gig. Things were fine at first, but then he turned into the biggest nightmare for everyone there. Always complaining, trying to get out of work, blaming other employees, and even yelling at me in front of customers. Never again will I get a friend a job. Made me look like a terrible person.
6/17. My ex boyfriend and I talked about moving in together. We looked at houses for a while and finally settled on one. He convinced me to go ahead and get rid of my apartment and sell all of my furniture, dishes, small appliances, etc. and use that money to cover utility deposits on the new place because we would be using his furnishings at the new house, we wouldn't need mine. Ok done deal. All my stuff is sold.
Moving day comes and he TEXTS me that morning to tell me he never loved me or my son and he doesn't want to see either of us anymore. Not only was I heartbroken but I now had one day to find my son and I a place to live and then go out and buy all new furnishing and necessities with NO money because I used all of it on deposits for HIS new house. Still have trust issues over that one.
7/17. My mom repeatedly told private information about my life and things I was going through to other family members and her friends even when I specifically asked her not to for many reasons (among them the fact that I didn't get along with these family members at all, a lot of these people were gossips and I knew would spread my business around like hot butter, and the fact that it was none of their business to know anything about me to begin with) and she promised she wouldn't repeat any of it.
Well, so much for that.
It got to the point that I stopped telling her anything at all and it's now a big issue because she's hurt that I never tell her anything and that I flat out told her I didn't trust her. She acts like she doesn't understand why I would be angry about it and the really bad thing is that she's the exact same way as I am constantly demands that I never repeat any of her business to others and is really private but the only difference is that I've never repeated any of her business to other people. If I had done what she did and told people, family or friends or whoever, the things she told about me she would disown me and never speak to me again. But somehow it's okay that she does it.
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8/17. When I was around 11 or 12, I agreed to go play basketball with my supposed best friend on a certain day, only to remember that I had already made plans with another good friend of mine.
Said 'best friend' then proceeded to write my mom's phone number on several displays at various bus stops and what not with the message that 'if you're looking for some girl to have sex with, they should call - oh and you can also get drugs'.
This was one of the two times I got into a fight as a kid.
The other time is more recent and follows the typical met girl, fell for girl and dated scheme... then after me confessing my love (and I was head-over-heels in love mind you) she strung me along for a bit without giving me an answer... On Christmas I then found out that she was sleeping with a friend of mine for about 2 months.
Needless to say, neither of them is in my life anymore.
9/17. I told my very close friend of about five years that I was regularly suicidal and he told me it wasn't his problem and proceeded to completely stop talking to me at all.
Thanks, man. That really helped.
10/17. My mother. Growing up I was always kind of a mummy's boy, idolised and her trusted more than anything. As I got older I opened up to her about a few things that were very important to me in confidence and she blabbed and made things a million times worse. Firstly I told her I was gay when I was about 13, but begged her not to tell anyone. She reacted pretty badly, convinced I was going to be murdered by homophobes or catch AIDs or become a pedophile. As a result she told my dad, my brother, and other family members the next day while I was out. A couple of years later I told her I was having issues with suicidal thoughts and depression. She freaked out, made it about her, asked how I could do this to her, told all my family, called my school because she assumed I was being bullied, etc.
I think now she's older she realises a lot of the mistakes she made and is trying hard to be a better mum, now that I've moved out, and see each other every week or so. But still, she complains that I 'don't ever tell her things anymore and I'm baffled that she's shocked by this. My experiences with her have made me very secretive and guarded about my feelings and problems with everyone - apart from strangers on the internet, it seems.
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11/17. My best friend was supposed to be my maid of honor and also make my cake because she is a baker by profession. She lived an hour away so we didn't see each other much leading up to the wedding. She couldn't make time to find a dress so my other bridesmaid chose the dress for everyone else. I let her know which dress it was so she could pick it up. I didn't get any bridal shower or bachelorette party or anything like that and I did everything on my own.
Two of my bridesmaids dropped out of the wedding a month prior. And then the night before my wedding I was trying to get ahold of her because i hadn't heard from her. She told me THE NIGHT BEFORE MY WEDDING that she couldn't make it because she had some things in her life she thought would be sorted out but they hadn't been yet. So I had to find someone to make me a cake 24 hours before the wedding. And I was left with only one bridesmaid. The next week I saw pictures on her Facebook from my wedding day. She went to a Pirates game instead. I haven't spoken to her since.
12/17. My ex who dumped me and then proceeded to put explicit photographs and videos of me online. Completely cut me up and ripped my confidence to shreds.
13/17. During my first marriage I inherited a wonderful step-daughter. We had two daughters together and one Christmas my grandmother sent presents, but only for our little two, not my step-daughter. I try to see the best in people, so I call my dad to see if she forgot.
Well we all know when people are caught off guard, they blurt the truth. Apparently, she told my dad that if she had to buy gifts for all the step kids they would be in the poor house. Mind you, this is her only step grandchild, and at the time she is at her vacation home in AZ.
Now, I'm pissed. I box up the gifts and send them back to her with a letter saying family is family, it doesn't matter who gave birth to that child, she is my daughter.
She just didn't get it, still doesn't. And my dad for fear of getting written out of the will, sided with grandma. So we don't talk either.
It's sad, but I stood my ground and for cause. I may not be married to the girl's dad any more, but I still love her as my own.
14/17. My in-laws. My wife and I were moving to accept a new job in Illinois, about 2 hours from where her parents lived. We were looking at places and I was working full time in the new location, driving 4 hours a day back and forth round trip commuting. (Continued)
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We were saving some money since the job change to move out. We lived with them total maybe 2 months, if that, and I found out that they were pressuring my wife to divorce me, keep me from my son and make me homeless before we signed our new apartment. Mother in law assaulted me one night after our second car died. They are "sorry" now and "put it behind them", but my wife and I are moving back to Alabama and I hope to never see them again.
15/17. I've stopped telling my mother anything, because all news is her news.
When I was 18, I came out to my stepdad and asked that he not say anything. Eight years later, he never has.
I came out to my mother when I was 19. She proceeded to tell her siblings, her church, even my new neighbor--anyone who would listen.
When I started treatment for my depression, guess what the topic of the day was?
She has no respect for my privacy, and when confronted, claims that she "didn't think I would care". Now I don't tell her anything.
16/17. I looked up to a man who was a friend, a mentor, and like a father figure to me. He convinced me to leave my position and come work for him, he would get me promoted and help me achieve my goals. He needed me on his team, etc.
I went to work for him and it was like Jekyll and Hyde. He insulted me, talked about me behind my back, used me as a scapegoat for the problems he was having with the rest of his staff, and in fact, completely derailed my reputation and career. It took me 4 years of busting my ass to get my reputation back. I still don't understand why. One of the worst experiences of my life.
17/17. I was recruited by a well known company, who convinced me to move my family from the city we loved, sold my family home, gave up my well established 17 year business and income, then work like a dog for a year building up a failing competitor, invested nearly $250,000, turned them around, nearly doubled the business in a year, then got shown the door at the end of the year when it was time for my permanent contract.
I've spent the past five years rebuilding nearly next door out of pure spite, spanking them daily at every chance I get. I've rebuilt the income I once had and now it can't be taken from me in any way by corporate shills. Hate can be one hell of an inspiration.
I get over it a bit more every day, but watching the person they shoved in to take my place slowly lose what they took from me has been quite healing.
Still, that day, that knife in the back. Betrayal seems a tame word.
[Image credit: Anetlanda / Shutterstock.com]
Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.