IRL

People Share Their Best "Thin Walls Apartment" Story

Thin walls mean everyone can hear everything. The question is: do you keep it down, or live your best live? Guess it depends on what stage of life you're in.

ok_corral_ asked: What's your "thin walls apartment" story?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


Oh college.

Giphy

From the room next to me:

squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak
thud
Oh my god, I'm so sorry, are you okay?

jelvinjs7

Holy sh*t, was this in a college dorm? I experienced this exact situation on the other side of my thin dorm wall.

MEballer23

Yup. College dorm last year.

jelvinjs7

This is uncomfortable.

Always gross! My bro and I one time came home it was maybe around midnight. Got about halfway up the stairs (my brother a couple steps behind me) and heard my parents going at it. My mom moaning and hearing the loudest claps I've ever heard..... we both wanted to die and we both ran outta the house.

Redd889

"Claps" Lmao.

Soy_Bun

I'm imagining one of them actually applauding in the act and it's hilarious.

winterfresh0

How neighborly.

Fell out of my tub after showering. Husband was downstairs, blaring the TV. Screaming for help. Neighbor next door asked if I was alright. He went outside and banged on the door to tell my husband to check on me. Thanks, neighbor I only ever talked to once!

mah009

Were you alright?

Thetomatomustard

Thank you for asking :) I cut my arm open and hit my head on our heater. I didnt feel stable enough to get myself up on my own.

mah009

Dog don't care.

I once ripped a major fart after a long night out. I heard my neighbour sleepily accusing her boyfriend, then the boyfriend even more sleepily accusing my neighbour's dog. I was good pals with that dog, and I sometimes still feel guilty about him taking the blame.

bartefaen

Did the same, but neighbors were awake to hear me. We all laughed.

whenthericeisready

Next time, make it a race.

Upstairs neighbors had sex twice a month and it lasted about 4 mins.

8415claw

That's two times more then most people on here.

PprincePhillip

And twice longer than most people here.

jimi1907

Slow your roll, buddy. I'm 2:01 thank you very much.

Buttkicker98

The two minutes of fumbling with the condom doesn't count.

Kiyohara

This is awesome.

Giphy

Unknown to me, the woman who moved into the adjacent apartment was an accomplished pianist.

She heard me practicing the piano part for a Beethoven piano concerto and suddenly I heard her supplying the orchestra part on her piano to "accompany" me.

It was a perfect duet, and an interesting way to become introduced - even with a thin wall separating us.

Back2Bach

We had a weird crackhead move in next door to us. Turns out he was an amazing pianist. We would drink on our balcony and listen to him play, it was like a private after dinner concert every night.

LadyXaviaraH

Got any "weird crackhead things" stories to share?

Slayer_Acid

I don't know a whole lot since I never interacted with him except the concerts but apparently he decided to remodel the apartment (that he was renting) and completely gutted it, and did a really poor job of rebuilding it. Cost the landlord a pretty penny.

LadyXaviaraH

What a silly tradition.

I sneezed really loudly and my neighbor said bless you.

gemmynid

A couple of weeks ago at about 3am, I burped loudly while half asleep not realizing what I was doing, and my neighbor yelled "disgusting!"

want-silver

i just imagined your neighbor screeching 'disgusting!' like lemongrab and i couldnt breathe for like 5 seconds.

Eniac___

Good guy neighbor, very polite!

AichSmize

This is cute.

My neighbor has two droopy little hounds. One of them must have his special sleeping spot against the shared wall in my bedroom, because every night i hear the little dum dum dum of a wagging tail hitting the wall. I like it.

queermoth

That's actually kinda sweet!

inked-microbiologist

Mission accomplished.

My husband was sick as hell, just trying to get some sleep, and the neighbor's kids were being loud as hell. I went next door and politely asked, "our bedroom is just on the other side of the wall and he's very ill, can you please ask them to be quiet or maybe play in another room?" I walked back to my apartment and my husband was laughing, so I asked why. Apparently while I was walking between the apartments, the mom walked into the kids room and yelled "can y'all shut the hell up, you're pissing off the white bitch next door."

coconutpills

When I was little we lived on the top floor of a house with two apartments beneath. Whenever I was loud I was told i'de wake the baby downstairs. Took me years to realize there was no f*ckin baby.

Warfink

Alcohol, of course.

In college, my roommate Todd rearranged his room and his bed ended up on the same wall as another one of my roommates Alex (I'm on the other wall). This roommate had a tendency to deny that he ever brought anyone home with him, despite not being the quietest person.

About a week later, Todd brings home some random girl and they go at it. Next morning, we're all hanging out in the living room and I ask him about last night. Todd says he has no idea what I'm talking about. He didn't have anybody over. Alex jumps in with a "Bull, I could name your positions."

Todd: "No you can't, nothing happening."

Alex: "Missionary, cowgirl, then she got tired so you switched to doggy."

Todd: "Crap..."

He moved his bed back the next day.

SomeoneFoundMyFirst

To be a fly on those thin walls...

Giphy

One of our neighbors called my brother and I "The Tupperware Twins" because they never heard any noise coming out of our apartment, and we had extremely thin walls in the building. They passed around the story that we'd both just come home and lock ourselves in Tupperware, hence the lack of noise. (We were just very comfortable with silence, except during Colts and Pacers games.)

She eventually moved out though, and we had two 20-something girls move in who passive-aggressively dealt with each other's noise by getting louder and kinkier during sex. One of them was dubbed "the goat" for obvious reasons.

I hope all of those young gentlemen realized how fortunate they were.

tcinternet

and we had two 20-something girls move in who passive-aggressively dealt with each other's noise by getting louder and kinkier during sex.

Ladies, THIS is the type of passive-aggressiveness you need to adopt; not "mistakenly" leaving my just-purchased gallon of milk out overnight because you're mad I was too exhausted to do the dishes when it was my turn. :(

StraightWeather

Nothing like being young.

Lived next to Loud Sex Girl in college. Her boyfriend would visit once a month and they'd go at it like rabbits for 48 hours straight. They'd only stop so she could take a shower after every single time. My roommate and I could hear every detail of everything. Wish we could have predicted when he'd come around.

echelon_01

This is my exactly my roommate, but his girlfriend comes over here. Plus they go to the kitchen for snack breaks apparently. Always an early morning gym session when she comes around.

burn-leo

That's when you record the noise and play it back over loud speakers. Guarantee after that they'll find another place.

skilliard7

Horton hears domestic violence and does something about it.

The laundry room was connected to our apartment. One day our landlord heard my abusive ex screaming and threatening me. He didn't do anything right away but a few days later his wife called me at work and asked me to meet her for coffee nearby. She told me they knew the relationship was bad and had talked to a lawyer and they were going to renew the lease in only my name and kick him out and change the locks so I didn't have to come up with money to move or find foster homes for my three pets.

A lot of people ask "well, why didn't you leave?" but when you've been bullied your whole life and you're working full time but still struggling to make bills and your credit is shit from financial abuse/control and then you go home to hell and are sleep deprived... you just don't have the energy to even believe that getting out is possible even when you want it more than anything. I will forever be grateful to them. After 13 years I got out with their help and support. I had to move a year later because he was stalking me and had broken in, but once I had the space to feel sane and well-rested again, I just kept pushing forward and new possibilities blossomed.

TK_Sleepytime

I actually created an account to respond to this. When I had to have my husband arrested, neighbors swarmed me to let me know they knew. I texted my boss that day that I'd done it, and she replied "Good. Are you okay? I'm on my way."

I never told anyone. But people know. And if you're as lucky as you and I seem to be, the people who care are just waiting for their cue to enter.

My god, never let yourselves live like this, everyone. Abuse can make you go mad. You start to think you deserve it, and that is NOT RIGHT.

TexasWasteland

That's so badass of them, and good for you for getting out!

paigenotcasey

Kudos to your landlord for doing this. So glad you're in a better place.

jefferson-started-it

Walls to thin to hold in this scalding hot tea.

Giphy

My neighbor in college would have her boyfriend over a lot and they'd have lots of sex, but when he wasn't there I'd constantly hear her talking shit about him on the phone with her friends. Kind of funny, kind of sad.

Bonus story: one time after a 30 minute session of him just acting like a god amongst men (saying things like "yeah baby SAY MY NAME" and just straight up jackhammering away for half an hour) she says "yeah baby that was good, you got me kind of close for a little bit there."

FloralBison

I find it kind of funny,I find it kind of sad. The walls in which I'm hearing all the moaning and the lies.

CatMintDragon

I find it kinda funny

I find it kinda sad

That the sex with which she's tired

Is the best he's ever had.

ghost-theawesome

Missionaries staying true to their title.

I posted this in a ex-Mormon thread recently.

So I was living in an apartment when I was 19 not too far from a Mecca for young Mormons settling down.

I swear to GOB that a TBM (true blue Mormon) apartment neighbor dropped "holy cannoli I can feel the spirittttt ahhhh!" as they came and it has haunted me ever since until a year or two ago where I thankfully forgot it.

A comment on Reddit reminded me of the horror and now you all have to share in this too.

Healing_touch

Lololol. If I ever want to end a relationship but am too chicken to do it, this is how it'll go down.

_-Mayday-_

But What did you hear?

I have this friend whose neighbors do it every single day, at the same time, for very long and extremely loudly. They're his upstairs neighbors and their bed is right above his bed. This has been going on for many months. My friend approached the guy and went like this.

My friend: I'm sorry but you are making too much noise at night. You have to stop it or I'll file a complaint.

Guy: but... is it our dog?

My friend: no, it's not the dog. It's the noise you make... at night.

Guy: but what do you hear?

My friend: come on, you know what I mean.

Guy: .... oh, my wife got an anonymous text saying "stop the sexual noises". We think it was the old lady from 2D.

(It goes on, I think he kept asking what he heard because he got a kick out of it) Cutesy_blogger

Floor 3. 

I lived on the top floor of a 3 floor building. The woman downstairs would come up almost daily and plead with me to try and be more quiet. Thing is, I would be sitting on the couch reading or just watching tv at a normal volume or even asleep. I thought she was a little nuts but she was nice enough so I did my best. Few months later she moved out, I was told she was put into assisted living.

Her old apartment was empty and unlocked for potential tenants to check out. I had a buddy over and had him walk around my apartment while I went downstairs.

Holy crap, I drove that woman crazy! Simply walking around the hardwood floors in socks was a nightmare from her place. I felt terrible but I was just going about my life in my apartment which unbeknownst to me was an amplified racket below. terifficwhistler

Up and Away....

Giphy

I lived below a flight attendant and I always knew when she was back home because quite a well known news presenter would come around and have loud, vigorous sex.

I would look at him in a new light when I'd see him on tv after those sessions. WhoriaEstafan

Inspiration....

Me and my boyfriend were having sex while the couple next door were arguing and we could all hear each other. I know which side of the wall I'd rather be on, but I don't know who it was more awkward for. say-crack-again

Is That You?

In college my dorm bed was next to the wall - I could hear the guy in the next room pretty clearly even when he was talking in a moderate voice. Guy seemed to have a different girl over every weekend and sometimes those conversations were pretty entertaining, especially the after conversations. This went on the entire school year. Never saw him because due to the way the dorm was laid out, his room opened into another hall.

I'm at a "welcome back" party the next fall and get introduced to a guy by a mutual friend. We're talking and I realize I recognize his voice. So I asked: "Hey, did you live in 309 Scott last year?" He said "yeah, did you live on the hall?"

So I told him how I knew his voice and he started laughing. All I could say was "Is Cindy still around? She sounded like fun."

That was a long time ago and we're still friends. Nagsheadlocal

Levels. 

My last apartment had a thin floor and ceiling. The next door neighbors were quiet as mice. Our upstairs neighbor was a different story. He was generally quiet except for late at night. He would blast Black Sabbath all night long. Now I like Black Sabbath. I can even tell you which album it was, "We Sold Our Souls For Rock 'N' Roll." I however am not such a huge fan at 3 AM after working a 10-12 hour shift. The problem wasn't so much the volume but more my brain. I could hear the music but not the lyrics and that's when my brain would play karaoke.

Getting him to turn it down would go something like this: I'd stomp up one flight of stairs, bang on his door. From the other side I'd hear this tiny voice "oh crap." He'd stick his head out from the other side of the door. I'd tell him to turn the music down and go back to bed.

As many times as I had to tell him to turn it down, you'd think he'd remember to keep the music at a decent volume. lilfrostgiant

The Mystery....

Giphy

My used to tell me he could hear his neighbors having sex because the walls were so thin. He was really confused one time though because his neighbor went away for a few days for work but he said he still heard his neighbors wife having sex one night. Quite the mystery. Viazon

We are told that, if you're not confident, you should just "fake it til you make it."

This is great--in theory. In practice, sometimes "faking it" can have extremely real and terrible consequences, which these people found out the hardest of hard ways.

Keep reading... Show less