Have you ever had to own being a creep because of something you did by accident? No? Well, these people have.
Here are twenty people who regret being accidental creepozoids.
Many thanks to all the Redditors who responded. Check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!
1. Two thumbs way up!
A few days ago, I was picking my daughter up from the kindergarten. Once she was satisfied that all of her acorns and chestnuts and yellow and red leaves (autumn, you know?) were safely in her locker, we headed for home.
In the evenings, there are sometimes older kids playing in the kindergarten playground as well. By 'older' I mean maybe 10-11 year olds, not high school kids. Anyway, as we were nearing a bench in the yard, I heard (and saw) four of them - three girls and a boy - reading a book, and laughing. It just happened that as my daughter and I passed the bench, one of the kids read another excerpt from the paragraph from the book. It was something like:
"At this time, you may notice that your breasts are sore or tender, and this is not unusual or something to be ashamed of."
Again, the kids exploded into laughter. I found that I was grinning as well - not that what she had said was anything funny, but it was the kind of contagious laughter that is hard to deflect. Anyway, they saw my grin and counterattacked with "It's not funny at all! We have to learn this at school!"
For some reason, instead of simply nodding, or saying something in the vein of "Yeah, keep up the good work," I grinned like a maniac and gave them the thumbs up. Not one thumb up, but both of them. They looked at me with mixed pity and loathing. And then I broke eye contact and fled, taking my daughter along.
In my defense, I was just surprised that they were learning about puberty and sexuality at their relatively early age, and was full of approval for our educational system, but what came out was rather disturbing.
2. It happens...
Staring off into no-where daydreaming, only to snap out of it and realize you are staring directly at some girls boobs... And she is glaring back at you.
3. The BEST!
In high school, I went to see a movie with a friend. I had bought skittles because skittles are delicious. It was a crowded theater for whatever movie was being played and we ended up being close to what appeared to be two cute girls, me being closer to the girls.
Anyway, the girl leans over to me and asks for some of my skittles and I gladly give her some.
I wait a moment and make an inappropriate, but in my mind funny, joke by leaning over and whispering, "don't strangers have the best candy?"
She dropped the rest of the skittles on the floor and moved.
4. Heavy breathing.
I had an asthma attack the first time I spent the night with a girl and she woke up to me breathing heavily over her like a creeper when I was just trying to wake her so she could help me find my inhaler.
5. My bad...
I was late for work one morning during NYC subway rush hour traffic. You know the 3 compartment, cage-like turnstiles? Well, in my haste I managed to jump in behind some girl in her 20s . . . In the same compartment. Every time she pushed forward, the bars hit my back thrusting me into her. The whole time I'm apologizing profusely, but she can't hear because of her earphones and what I'm assuming would be deafening terror. Once we were free of our metal enclosure, I try to apologize again for basically dry-humping her, but she bolts off in a full sprint to the stairs to street level.
6. Why would you even send that?
I was a freshman or sophomore in high school. It was New Years Eve and I was home alone just hanging out on MSN.
Around 10 pm I get an IM from this girl I had liked at the time. Well we both turn our webcams on and she's at her house with about 6 or 7 of her friends, most of which I knew from school.
So I , trying to smooth or whatever, send her a text that says, "I can see you. :)" now that's pretty creepy in itself, but what made it even creepier is that her house was up in the mountains and she didn't get very good cell reception. The text didn't get to her phone until 2 or 3 am.
I woke up to a phone full of text messages and missed calls. They thought I was watching them from the woods and through the windows.
I spent that year known as the creepy stalker guy.
7. That it's on the news makes it so much worse...
Mine was on the news.
It was the "Crawl for Cancer". Thousands of people show up in the drinking district and buy tickets to bar hop all day. For cancer you know...
There was a group of about 10 people with me and my wife. We are entering a bar and a news crew stops us, and starts interviewing one of the guys with us. I'm behind him to his left, leaning up against a short brick wall. To my right I spot my wife with her arm on the wall. I reach up, lay my arm parallel to hers and start tickling the inside of her elbow with my finger tips.
This goes on for about 30 seconds before I hear, "I'm not your wife." I was too fixated on the news cameras to realize it was just someone with a similar height/hair color.
It was, my wife's, coworker's, friend whom neither of us had ever met. It was on the news.
8. Nice one...
I was drinking at a friend's house and there was about 10 of us just hanging out, playing cards and stuff.
I was in the kitchen with one of my friends, when I jokingly said "So, I've been adopting unwanted pets off of Craigslist and eating them to save money." At that moment, I heard a noise behind me, and realized there was someone else in the kitchen. It was my other friend's cousin, who I had just met like an hour before. She had just walked in to get a beer and was horrified by what she heard.
She said something like "Are you serious?" I tried to explain that it was all a joke, and that my friends and I have strange sense of humor, but apparently my friend was standing behind me making a face and shaking his head.
She completely avoided me for the rest the night, and I'm pretty sure that she told some people that I eat people's pets.
9. Do you or don't you?
Yesterday, I was in Target looking at what they had left of Halloween costumes. A woman and her young daughter were digging through the racks and talking. The daughter said, "I can't believe they don't have tiaras! Would they have them someplace else?"
I turned and said, "Over in the girls' toys section, they have several different princess outfits. Dresses and costume jewelry, too."
The way they looked at me, they must have thought I spend my weekends dressed up in an eight-year-old's princess costume crying myself to sleep.
10. Hold this, kid.
My Dad has a good story.
He was at a football game, and had to go to the bathroom. You know how the bathrooms at large stadiums used to be just one long trough? You'd stand in one of the 10 single-file lines heading to the trough to take a whizz.
Anyway, my Dad was standing in line with a bag of popcorn. As it got to be his turn to go, he stepped up to the trough and turned around to a kid behind him and said "would you mind holding this while I pee?" and handed him the bag of popcorn.
Not fully realizing what it must have sounded like to the dozen of other men around who didn't see him holding any popcorn.
I once, accidentally, gave my wife a black eye. I was lying back in bed and she simultaneously sat up. As we passed, my elbow hit her eye. I have never been glared at so hard in public when we were out together.
12. What a coincidence...
I worked as a dishwasher in high school and there was this girl that I got to know, she worked as a waitress. Anyway one day she walks into the dishwashing room and I say "What's up, homes?" It came out sound like Holmes instead of Homes. She gives me the most perplexing look and says to me "How did you know that was my last name?" And I said, what are you talking about.
To make a long story short she said her mom had moved away from her father, who was very abusive, and they had changed their last name from Holmes to whatever it currently was. She thought I was a stalker or something and for the rest of the time I worked there she avoided me.
13. Good to know...
According to my friends, I make sex noises in my sleep. I always thought they were messing with me until I had it confirmed by my boss when we went on a business trip together.
14. I wouldn't be pulling over, I'd be speeding up!
I was driving back from my club, we wrapped things up at around 10:30 pm. I get onto the main road and end up behind this oldish car that is doing 50 km/h on a 60 km/h road. I realise I'm tailgating and ease off, and didn't want to try undertaking because I was feeling lazy.
I approach my next turn and the car in front is doing the same. I end up following this car almost all the way home. I tend to use my blinkers a little later and as a result it looked like I was waiting for the car in front of me to decide which road to turn to before hitting my blinkers.
As we turn onto my final road they suddenly pull over. It couldn't have been their house because they pulled over next to a school's football field.
I realise they thought I was following them and had an "Oh crap!" moment. I drive off and I see them in my rearview mirror pull out again behind me but quite a distance away.
One time I was backpacking with a friend around New Zealand. We arrived at a new hostel in Wellington, where there were about 8 bunk beds, but when we got there it was just us two. We started joking around as people sometimes do, and my friend went under one of the beds to see if he could fit or something. He came out and I decided to do the same. Not sure why. Well anyway, as soon as I went under the bed, three girls walked in. I should have got out right then and laughed it off, but I froze, not sure what to do. Then my friend left the room without saying a word. Dick. So there I am, under a bed, with three attractive young girls right next to me. I've been there far to long to come out, so I just press myself against the wall and silently beg for them to leave. After about 5 minutes they must have heard me breathing or something, because they stop talking and look under the bed. I have never felt more creepy in my life, and the next few nights were very awkward. They were surprisingly good about it, but still.
16. Mother of God...
I Walked into the room and my aunti was holding my baby cousin. I gave him a kiss on the forehead- then when I looked I realised she was breast-feeding the baby cousin. Was rather ---Awkward.
17. Not my wife...
My wife and her sister are near in age and actually look quite similar from the back, especially if they are sitting down (because, yes, I know what my wife's backside looks like).
Well at Christmas last year, I went up behind my wife and wrapped my arms around her and kissed the back of her neck where it meets her shoulder.
Not my wife.
18. "Let's go."
I was at the city swimming pool with my two daughters (6 and 8 years old) and it was time to go. I was waiting for my youngest to come around the lazy river thing and it was way past time for her to show up (like two minutes) and I felt a bump and looked down and saw her.
I grabbed her hand and said "lets go." She had the same swimsuit my daughter has and her hair hair looked just like my kid's. It was not my daughter.
The girl reacted by pulling away and I turned around ready to unleash daddy hell and saw her face and I felt like the worst person ever. EVER. The little girl was backing up with a scared look on her face.
Only saving grace was her mother was with her. I was totally apologetic, like sorry, your daughter has the same suit, same hair. After I rounded up my daughters I went looking for the mom just to show her I wasn't some daughter grabbing psycho. She didn't have as much of a problem with it as I did. Probably cause she was there. I still see that little girls eyes scared cause a stranger grabbed her hand and said "Lets go."
As the subway was pulling up to my stop in Brooklyn late one night I noticed a girl standing by the door, she was cute and I had a flash of recognition so I smiled at her, she didn't smile back but that's okay, I'm not the most attractive guy in the world.
We both exit and head out the same stairwell, she looked over her shoulder and quickly turned back. That's when I figured out where I knew her from. When I first moved into the apartment that I was currently living, the building had a big 4th of July party, I met her there she lived a floor up or down I wasn't sure which, I only met her once and that was brief. Anyway we get outside and it's cold, I mean dead of winter speed-walk home cold. She's walking at a brisk pace and so am I.
We're headed the exact same direction and there's nobody else on the street, she looks over her shoulder again, sees me there, and takes off running. Now the apartment building that we both live at is only a block away from the subway entrance, so she runs for like half a block, fumbles for her keys and drops them. She bends down to get the keys and when she looks up, I'm already at the door, holding the door open for her that I opened with my own keys. A look of shock flashed across her face, then relief, then embarrassment. She manages a "thanks" and walks inside, one awkward elevator ride later and I enter my apartment and cry myself to sleep.
Late one rainy night my car wouldn't start, leaving me stranded in a downtown parking lot with a dead battery.
As I'm standing there with my umbrella a lady comes around the corner and approaches a car not too far from mine. She must not have seen me, because she froze when I said "Excuse me!"
I had jumper cables, so I brilliantly started with "I'm so sorry to do this to you..." I had planned to continue with "...but could I get a jump?". Instead I realized she was standing out in the rain getting soaked while I had an umbrella.
Being the polite guy that I am, I started jogging over to her with the umbrella. She screamed and started to back away as fast as she could, only to fall backwards with what she could only assume was a murdering umbrella person charging her.
Of course I immediately stop and raise my hands in the air while backing away slowly, but it's too late. The poor thing is cowering in the gutter crying.
I felt like complete crap. She got out of there as quickly as she could while I stammered apologies as fast as I could.
Whoops. That snip was just a hair too far....
Your first bad haircut probably made you want to die a little when you looked in the mirror. Imagine how the person cutting your hair must have felt. Although, maybe they didn't care at all, as evidenced by the bs excuse they gave you when you finished in the barber chair.