People Share Well Intended Pranks That Went Horribly, Horribly Wrong.

There are pranks that go too far, and then there are those pranks that start out harmless and end with a trip to the emergency room. It's amazing how much chaos one little plastic cockroach can cause.

Here, pranksters tell the stories of how their innocent jokes got way out of hand. Enjoy! And check out the bottom for even more tales of pranks gone wrong.

1. Right prank, wrong target.

So when I was about 14 I was going to prank my sister in the bathroom by hiding in the cupboard under the sink (it was large) and make scary noises while she was in the shower. Obviously not well thought out, but I was bored.

I knew she was showering soon so I got under there and shut the doors and waited. To my horror, my mom came in and thinking she was all alone promptly began to take a long pee. She then opened the cupboard doors for some reason and found me curled up in the cabinet. I exited hastily with a burning red face and later my dad chewed me out for trying to spy on my sister in the shower. I still feel the horror many many years later.


2. A chip off the old block.

When I was around 12, we had a big old fat dog named chip who did nothing but sleep and eat. So one day when my mom was grocery shopping, the dog was laying in the kitchen so I squirted ketchup on him and on the floor and everything.

When my mom came home into the kitchen I pretended to cry and said "Mom! Chip went crazy I had to kill him!". She legitimately started bawling and and dropped the grocery bag breaking stuff and got on the floor, only to see chip roll over and walk outside. She was pissed and Chip dragged ketchup everywhere.



3. Trapped in the trunk.

When my older brother was between his freshman and sophomore year in high school, he was taking a summer school class. So every morning he would wake up, shower, eat breakfast and drive to school. So my middle school idea of a prank was to grab his keys while he was in the shower, unlock his trunk, put his keys back, then hide in the trunk and scare him when he went to throw his backpack in the back.

Nope, he doesn't do that apparently. He just tosses his bag on the front seat and drives to school. So with his radio blasting, he can't hear me try to tell him that I'm in the back. We get to school, and he shuts his car off, so I hit the trunk lid hard once. He goes to check it out and finds me in the back. He laughs, and tells me to have fun on the walk home.



4. The pranker becomes the prankee.

In eighth grade, my lit teacher was the nicest woman, but a total push over. She hardly taught, but she was ridiculously chill. She also considered myself and one of my good friends at the time to be her two favorite students because we actually did our work well, while screwing around and just making fools of ourselves. We also busted out a guitar and sang bad Tenacious D covers everyday before class.

Anyways, on April 1st, I was going to do my annual prank that I pull on one teacher every year, usually my favourite teacher. I decided to pull it on her. (Story continues...)

Continued on the next page!

The prank was a 3 man prank, where in the middle of some group activity or sometime random. One of us would fall out of our desk and then the other two would freak out and draw attention, and JUST before more serious help ensued, the "passed out" one would pop up yelling surprise. (I know, mean, and stupid, but I came up with this in the third grade, and it was funny then).

So my buddy and I and one of our other friends team up, and mission is a go. I happen to be the guy who falls out of my desk this year. My teacher freaks out, and is getting really emotional. Apparently she was pregnant and just hadn't told the class yet. In fact, she had planned some prank on us to tell us she was going to have a baby but we ended up pranking her first and thereby ruining the surprise.


5. A story to tell your grandkids, maybe...

I met my girlfriend like this. I was 19 and at a music festival, with some friends. One of my friends had a big hand bag, and as a prank after I came back from our tent, I snuck up behind her and took her phone from her bag, right under her arm. I planned to return in a few seconds and ask her why she didn't answer her phone, then watch her panic for a moment for an evil joke. So I did, and she pulled out her phone and checked it.

In a moment of horror I realised I had pickpocketed a stranger. I spent another 5 hours trying to track her down and explain what had happened.

Happy ending though, I proposed two weeks ago, she said yes.


6. Ore-oh no!

My wife's friends "Oreo'd" her car. Basically they open up the Oreo, lick the icing and place the sticky Oreos all over the car.

It was not her car.



7. Always a bridesmaid, never a sucker.

I'm at the age where many of my co-workers and friends are either getting married or popping out kids. Within the past year I've been to 5 weddings and held more newborn babies than I ever thought humanly possible. I'm single, so as a result of all this I was constantly getting grilled about when I was going to get hitched or have a kid.

When April Fool's day rolled around, I made an announcement on Facebook that I was not only getting married to my "special someone" but that we were also expecting. A torrent of messages and comments began to roll in, everything from "Congrats!" to "I hope our kids will be best of friends and play together!" and "I'm SO happy you're finally settling down and starting a family."

My good friends knew better and were in on the troll, so they rolled with it and started to ask about names for the baby and wedding dates. My acquaintances and co-workers took the bait hard.

When I finally announced April Fools, the congrats switched to a flood of hate mail. When I came into work, those who were pregnant were especially miffed and told me not to joke about big life events. Some just told me they were really disappointed. One dis-invited me to her baby shower.

No one bothers to ask when I'm getting married anymore.



8. I smoke Acme brand.

My brother and I discovered a joke shop on a day trip. My mother was a smoker and we found those explosive cigarette firecrackers. We both bought them knowing how hilarious they would be, but we only had the one person to prank. We both targeted her by pack randomly.

So she is driving along and the first one explodes, and she freaks out. Wasn't as funny as we thought. Later on another one explodes and she has a minor melt down. She flips out on both of us, we don't dare say a word, but we know that there is probably one more exploding cigarette in the pack. Our dread was probably worse than hers. (Story continues...)

Continued on the next page!

About 50 miles from home, the last cigarette explodes. If she yelled at us, it might have been better. Instead, she relit it and kept driving, with tears going down her face. That next hour was excruciating as mom drove and cried.


9. I'm sure it's still bugging her.

When I was in high school, this guy I was friends with had a very realistic looking cockroach. It was huge and glossy and rubbery. It looked very real.

He gave it to me for some reason, so one day while my mother is blow drying her hair in the bathroom (her head upside down) I sneakily placed the roach on her bare foot and stepped back. She FREAKED! She probably jumped up in the air 5 ft. and screamed and cursed.

When she saw me laughing, she realized it wasn't real and proceeded to hit me with the blow dryer. She was so pissed that I don't even think she intended to really hurt me, but she did. I ended up with a huge lump on my head and a major headache all day. She hates roaches, so I guess I should have seen that coming. Don't prank your mother...



10. Crayon catastrophe.

When I was 4 in kindergarten, a fellow kindergardner convinced me it would be hilarious if I put an upright crayon on a chair just as someone was sitting down...

That turned out very bad.

Blood was shed.


11. Here comes the flood.

My friend and I decided to prank one of our guy friends who lived in the dorm across from ours. We snuck up to his hallway when he was relaxing in his room and filled like entirely filled a 32 gallon trash can with water and leaned it up against his door.

We knocked and ran being the drunken idiots we were forgot how much water 32 gallons is, and it flooded the entire room, ruining pretty much ALL of his belongings.... He was not pleased.



12. Mistaken identity issues.

When I was a teenager my buddy Shawn and I loved to prank call people. We would just say stupid stuff and laugh ourselves silly. We never said anything mean or hurtful. Just being dumb.

So, one weekend he was staying over and we decided to make some calls. I was talking to some woman and was making her laugh when she asked if I was Alonzo. I said yes and she yelled to someone with her, "Alonzo is trying to prank us and I knew it was him!" (Story continues...)

Continued on the next page!

So now I'm like this is awesome! She thinks I'm someone else! So the other woman gets on the phone and is talking to me like I'm Alonzo... which is her husband! This is getting even better! So I play along and pretend to be Alonzo. After about a minute or two of making them laugh the woman says, "All joking aside, hun, is Katie home yet?" I then decide to break my own rule and say to her "SHE'S DEAD!" and then hang up the phone. Shawn and I laughed so hard for like 10 minutes.

Then it hits me. I feel my blood drain and I go white. Shawn is like, 'What's wrong man?' One of my dad's good friends is named Alonzo. And he has a daughter named Katie. To this day I think I pranked his wife at work and told her that their daughter was dead. I never had the courage to ask if it was them I pranked years ago.


13. We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of flatulence.

When my dad was in the sixth form at school, his friend decided to play a prank on the headmaster. He placed a timed fart machine under the stage where the headmaster would be standing, and timed it for his speech.

When the time came for the speech, it turned out the it was for someone who had passed away.



14. Well, guess I'll just stay here then...

When I was 12, I wanted to get back at my brother for beating me in Mario Kart so I hid in his closet so I could jump out and scare him.

Since he thought nobody else was home, he brought his girlfriend over. They went to his room with me still hiding. They got a bit... intimate. By the time I realized what was going to happen it was too late for me to be able to get out. So I had to stay... through the whole thing. I had to wait until they wore each other out so much they fell asleep together before I could sneak out.

That was a long couple of hours.



15. Run://AngryDad.exe

When I was in high school my dad bought his first Mac (mid 90's). He was very protective of it. I discovered the joys of ResEdit and made a very official dialog box that popped up at start-up saying his system was corrupt. I went out that night and completely forgot about it. (Story continues...)

Continued on the next page!

I return a few hours later and he is pissed off. He spent the entire night troubleshooting his "corrupt" system. He starts yelling at me asking what I did to break his computer. He did not find any humor in my practical joke.


16. The family jewels.

When I was a little kid, I thought for some reason it would be hilarious to sneak under the table at dinner time and punch my dad straight in the nuts. To this day I vividly remember grinning and pulling back my fist and letting go with all the velocity of a four year old.

My dad proceeded to take me around the corner and give me the second worst punishment of my life. That learned me.


17. Painting a target on your back.

When I was about 13 I was eating grapes in the back seat of the car and my mom asked for a grape. There was also a jar of paintballs beside me, and I gave her a paintball instead thinking she would realize it wasn't a grape...yeah I got grounded.



18. My computer came down with a case of mischief.

My boyfriend changed the desktop background on his mom's laptop to two guys having a peeing contest.

When we talked to her later in the day, she had destroyed her computer trying to change it back. It wouldn't even turn on. We guess that she downloaded a program to change it, and it was one of those "Oh, you're too stupid to change your desktop background? VIRUS!!" kind of things. She claims she has no idea what happened.



19. Boys your mother warned you about.

When my sister was in high school - around the age of 15 or 16, she was dating an older guy who my parents didn't necessarily approve of. They liked him well enough, but didn't really consider him much more than a high school fling. He had a pretty bad reputation around the school system.

My mom is an educational assistant who works with children that have varying levels of disabilities in the school system. She knew of the boyfriend through the discussions other teachers would have with her - things like "Do you know who your daughter is with?" "He did this and that" so my mom was skeptical but very good about keeping an open mind.

On April Fool's Day, my sister bought a pregnancy kit and painted on a positive test. She purchased a superfine paintbrush and the appropriate paint from a craft shop. She wrote a fake note about how sorry she was and how she should have been more careful - and then proceeded to leave the note and positive pregnancy test in my mom's mailbox at the school. (Story continues...)

Continued on the next page!

I found out about the aftermath around 2:30 when my dad called me at school and demanded my teachers let me go home. My sister was waiting for me in the office and we walked home to meet my mom - who had taken the day off after finding the note, and my dad, who had driven 60 minutes home from work.

Apparently my mom found the note after lunch, rapidly dismissed the notion that it was an April Fool's day prank, and proceeded to have a breakdown at work. I wasn't involved in the prank at all, but my sister was gradually reprimanded for a few months.


20. At least she can appreciate your technique.

You all must know about those little snappers right? The white balls you chuck at the ground and they make a loud snap? When I was 10, I taped a bunch to the bottom of the toilet seat, where the little feet are to keep it off the toilet bowl.

Our toilet was surrounded by 3 walls, like a mini closet. Well my mom was the first one to go in and sit down. When she did, the snappers all exploded and made her jump, get wedged between the toilet and the wall on the right side and piss herself... She was so angry at me after that but I still laugh to this day about it. Mom has told me now though that it was a really smart idea.



21. The bad son.

My brother came over to visit me at my house few months ago, we were jamming out and just chilling when suddenly my brother finds my roommate's police issued handcuffs. He slapped them on without thinking and after a while found out they weren't fake.

He started to freak and started running around trying to find bolt cutters - none around. Called the roommate and he laughed and said the only key was with him and he was still a few hours from coming home.

So what did we do? Took a picture of him in handcuffs and sent it to mom. My brother called her on my phone and told her that he was being arrested for possession of marijuana. She flipped and after berating him for being caught AGAIN she hung up.

Well, we laughed and I tossed my phone on the couch and tried to pick the handcuff lock. Where it went wrong was my phone was on silent across the room while my mom was calling continuously to tell me she left work and was on her way to pawn some jewelry for bail. When I finally saw the missed calls and texts and returned them explaining the joke she called to give me an ear full and excommunicated us for a month.



22. You scream, I scream.

My mom LOVES Mr. Softee (ice cream truck) to the point of insanity. So one time I downloaded the little jingle that the truck plays as it goes down the street, got my dad in on it, and we went around the outside of the house blasting the song. She ran all over the place wondering where Mr. Softee was, all excited.

Her hopes and dreams were crushed when she figured it out. She cried.


Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.