People Share What Happened To Their School Bully

From being in and out of jail, to receiving a PhD and publishing a book on disease research, 23 people share what happened to their school bully.

1. The irony

This girl cyber-bullied me for four years of high school. Made multiple Facebook accounts, caused me to have to get multiple new phone numbers because she kept discovering my new number, recorded videos of herself and others listing reasons why I should leave the city, etc. She now doesn't have an education as I'm doing my thesis on cyberbullying and applying to PhD programs.


2. The fashion designer pretender

Had a girl who bullied everyone at the school. Her parents were loaded. Sometime after high-school something happened to that money. Now she lives in a tiny apartment and attempts to stay relevant by pretending to be a "fashion designer" with thrift shop clothes. It's like a more satisfying version of Grey Gardens.


3. A successful bully

Went on to get a PhD in the States (I'm from Europe), made a small breakthrough in research of a disease and published a book about it. When I found out, I was envious for a second, but I quickly realized it's really for the better. Teenage bully or not, he helped humanity. If all bullies would turn out like that, the world would be a better place.


4. Interesting how things turn out

He had to have his jaw reconstructed and can't talk right now because someone punched him so hard that he ended up in a serious situation. I saw him at work once. He was so shy towards me.

The girl that impersonated me online to make me look like a horrible person is now complaining about people on welfare, while being unable to hold down a job of picking out groceries for old people on welfare to send to them.


5. Becoming friends

Well, my elementary school bully has a great story. He TERRORIZED all of us third graders. He showed up uninvited to my friend's birthday party and my friend cried. He was such a jerk. He was selfish and the best at everything. By middle school, we both were on the soccer team, and our coach took none of his crap. The bully was our leading scorer in sixth grade (the youngest grade), and he let us all know it. In the latter part of the year though, my mother got sick, and the bully's mother let me stay with them (which I didn't really want to do). During that time, we became friends and now, in high school, he's mellowed out a TON. Like, he's one of the most popular guys but that's only because he's such a cool, upstanding guy. Currently we are co-captains of our soccer team and have a fantastic record. No one can say a bad word about him now, and I think that's really cool.


6. Expect the unexpected

A few years back I decided to enter the names of old classmates into my county's jail records database. Not only did I find out that the last guy I would have expected was arrested for sexual assault, my school bully had evidently fallen afoul of a three-strikes drug law and had gone to prison for a lengthy sentence.


7. Some people do grow up

Ran into him like half a year ago in the local pub, had some beers with him and played some darts because the guy I was with knew him and the guy he was with. Despite the fact that he made my life a living hell for 3 years I didnt hold a grudge and he seemed fairly nice its almost like people can indeed grow up.


8. Bullying as a coping mechanism

My school bully invited me to his wedding a couple years ago, and it was a good time. He's actually a really nice guy now but does lack a formal education. I'm convinced his horrible actions when he was a kid were more of a coping mechanism for the horrible things he endured in his household. Anyway, bullies suck. This is before the internet, and cyber bullying so I can only imagine what kids go through these days.


9. People change

My middle school bully got his girlfriend pregnant Sophomore year and dropped out. For a guy who used to push kids down stairwells, he's an adoring father. He came into the restaurant I work at a few weeks ago with her for self proclaimed 'daddy-daughter day' (he didn't notice me) and you could just tell she's the apple of his eye. I know the mother left after she had the kid; the girl was well mannered, well dressed, and didn't fuss at all. That's a lot for an 18 year old guy to accomplish in his child. I was impressed.


10. Paying for mistakes made in youth

Sounds like he's okay. He actually went to prison for bullying me in our sophomore or junior year. He used a threat of deadly force, and the school had been itching for an excuse to expel him. Apparently he had also been making noises about having a gun to others as well, so the school came down hard and called the cops.

A few years later I got a letter sent from prison, apologizing for what he did and how he treated me. At the time I was very cynical, thinking it was something he'd been ordered to do. But now I prefer to believe it was genuine. A buddy of mine from high school who I still talk to said he ran into him and he seemed pretty happy.

Anyway, I know enough to know that he's not back in prison. Genuinely hope he's doing well. No one should have to suffer for a lifetime for mistakes they made in their youth.


11. A positive outlook on things

The girl that abused me in high school went on to go to a good college and have a promising career in the field of her dreams. Since I was survivor #3, I'm guessing she kept hurting people after me, but I wouldn't know. Meanwhile I flunked out of college, have no career prospects to speak of, no car, and no apartment. But at least I'm with a nicer girl now, and all the meds and trauma counseling have started to help.


12. Not too bad

Last time I checked he works a decent job at construction and inherited a house from his parents but he has a newborn son he never sees and the wife (ex-wife now) was unfaithful which kind of messed him up. So not too bad, not too good? Same as myself now that I think about it.


13. The bully seen on the street

I met him the other day. He was sitting at the train station in our hometown, doing crack, or some other drug, I don't know. I was on my way back to university from visiting my parents, having just gotten in to my Masters program.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy inside, seeing his life like that.


14. Cool guy turned criminal

I remember when he joined our school he immediately showed out. Coming from a rich family who gave him everything. But he was also the "cool skater" guy so everyone somewhat related to him.

Countless times he targeted me, stealing things and poking fun. I finally retaliated at a concert and punched him. I'll never forget the look on his face. He never messed with me again after that.

Fast forward 10 years and he is now serving a sentence for running over a pedestrian.


15. In and out of trouble

I was terrorized in school by a boy, and he was relentless. I was in tears everyday after school. I was humiliated in front of my friends and classmates. As the years went on, we saw less of each other in school and didn't share many classes. One day during lunch, I saw him in the pay line and another kid was bullying him! Calling him fat, ugly, shoving his tray and telling him to move faster. For a split second, I was pleased but then my empathy set in and I felt horrible for him. My stomach was in knots. I knew what it felt like to be ridiculed and embarrassed in front of my peers and now he did, too. It didn't feel like a victory.

Sadly, he didn't turn out very well. He has been in and out of prison since he turned 18.


16. Befriending the bully

I have been bullied most of my school years (like 9 of the needed years of school) but when I started college, it got WORSE. The bullying got almost life-threatening until I got so angry that I kind of saw red (my friends told me that). The bully (thats now one of my best friends) started throwing stones when I sat in the halls of the school waiting for my next lesson. I ran up to him, punched him in the gut, and broke his arm.

I got called into the principals office 30 minutes later with that guys parents, and they asked why I did it. I explained what happened.

Two weeks later after that happened, he got up to me in school, and told me he was really sorry, and he wanted to start over, like friends. I said that if he ever tried anything like that again, it would get ugly.

He does work in the local GameStop now, and I'm unemployed.


17. Teaching the bully a life lesson

He got involved in drug and gang activity, got shot in the leg, amputated, quit drugs, still hung out with his gang buddies, friended my sister on Facebook (she's friends with his sister) sent me a friend request that I ignored because I never use Facebook. He then started talking bad about me saying he ran me off of Facebook, and started harassing my friends and family. I accepted his request, posted a video on his wall of me running and working out. He started playing the victim, then I posted screenshots from my sister's phone of his messages where he was trying to get with my sister onto his wife's Facebook wall. She filed for divorce, he couldnt afford a lawyer and kept playing the victim and blaming me for his failed marriage and financial insecurity. I responded saying that he ruined his own life by getting involved with drugs and gangs, cheating on his wife, dropping out of school, now he has a criminal record, no education, problems with fidelity, and a huge victim complex.

Didnt hear anything from him after.


18. The bully who re-invented himself

I was bullied by multiple people in middle school. I don't actually know what happened to all of them, because I transferred to private school in high school to get away, and haven't really looked back since.

One of my bullies ended up going to the same college as me. He had completely re-invented himself during high school, including coming out as gay. I almost wonder if that was why he bullied me so relentlessly, because we went to school in a time where "gay" was still a valid insult and homosexuality was looked down upon, so he probably had a lot of internalized homophobia to deal with during that time. I didn't really have any desire to talk to him, but I couldn't have even if I wanted to, because despite having some mutual friends he went out of his way to avoid me (I think out of guilt?). We had one painfully awkward conversation freshmen year and then never spoke again.


19. Blacklisted a bully

Out of high school I tried college but found out that it wasn't really for me. So I got a job at a local TV station as it was relevant to my interests. He went onto college for sports broadcasting I believe. There's 3 TV stations in my hometown and over the course of the years I ended up working at all of them. So I knew everybody in charge of hiring people for all positions. 4 years after high school one of my news director comes to me and asks if I know this person.

I don't usually hold grudges, but this guy was a jerk. In all the years of him bullying me, pushing me around and ganging up on me with his friends, I retaliated only once in middle school because he pushed me to the ground and I had to go to the nurse. I just went about my own business and did my best to ignore him through high school. Him and his friends were relentless though.

Now back to the news director, he asks about this person because we went to the same high school. So I tell the director all about the thing he put me through and that I while I don't about his professional experience, I do know that he's a terrible person.

This got me thinking though that he's obviously looking for a job after college. So I call up friends from my old jobs. I ask them about people applying for jobs and surprise surprise, he applied to those places too. I tell them about his history with me in the past and again, I can't speak about him professionally, but personally I think he's a jerk.

He didn't get those jobs either. I got my middle school/high school bully blacklisted from working in his field in our hometown. I don't feel bad.


20. Hating takes a lot of effort

There was this girl (we'll call her Karen) who used to terrorize me in middle school for having no friends, being pretty socially awkward, and being poor. She made my life a living hell all throughout middle school and I became extremely isolated and depressed in that time because of the things she made me feel and believe about myself. I have hated her for years, so much so that I think about her at least once every couple of months.

I literally met her at a bar last night, so this question is pretty timely. Turns out she's dating a guy who's a friend of one of my close friends. She kept looking at me weirdly and I thought she was just being the snooty jerk I remembered from years ago. I was there with my boyfriend and several friends, so I managed to avoid her for most of the night. Then, our mutual friend calls my boyfriend over and I have to either follow or stand awkwardly several feet away by myself.

After a few more minutes of weird looks, she came up and asked me, "Hey, um, are you [my name]?

Yeah... are you Karen?"

"Yeah. Hey, we went to middle school together right?"


"Yeah I was a horrible person back then. I'm really, really sorry."

And with that, we ended up buying each other drinks for the rest of the night and bonding over our jobs (we ended up going into really similar fields). We both work with kids now, and we talked about the effects of bullying on them. She kept apologizing, and I can tell the person she is now is completely removed from the person I knew in school.

I feel kind of weightless today. Didn't even know how much effort hating her took until it was gone.


21. What a way to waste a good life

He constantly picked fights with everyone. One time he ran up to my friend who was in his car and opened the door and started beating him, for no reason!

Fast forward to after we all graduated college (well not the bully but my friends) and we go to get gas. He's the cashier and looks like he's been doing heroin. And his other friend who was also a bully died from drug overdose that year. Sad way to waste a good life, their families had more than enough to provide them with a good education. But instead the guys just went off the deep end with drugs.


22. Wow

He used to bully me terribly, ruined my woodwork project in 7th grade. He dropped out in 9th grade and is currently serving jail time for because last year he stabbed someone over a drug ordeal.


23. Finding bullies on Facebook

I got on Facebook and checked things out about the guy I got in fights a lot with in middle school. Looks like he's married, but he doesn't share much to the public on Facebook. Looks happy, at least. Good for him, I learned in high school he acted out because his parents were going through a nasty divorce.

Another guy I got bullied a lot by in high school turned out alright. I think he manages a commercial tire store. I talk to him on Facebook now and then and we talk about hunting and fishing. Nice guy.

I got teased and bullied a lot in school, and I've had several people from back then message me on Facebook and apologize. I don't really place any blame - admittedly I was a weirdo in school. I started kindergarten at age 4, so I was younger than most in my grade by a year or two. I graduated at 17. My parents didn't help the situation, they made sure I dressed like a dingus and didn't keep up with the current styles.

So, I was dressed like a dork, immature, and it took me until junior year to make any real friends.


( Source)

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.