People Share What They Find Attractive Today That They Didn't A Decade Ago.


This article is based on the AskReddit question "What do you find attractive today that you didn't 10 years ago?"

[Source can be found at the end of the article]

1. Competence

At 20 I was all about the pretty eyes and curly hair. At 30 it's a requirement to be good at something.

It's not specific. An extremely adept grocery bagger catches my eye.


2. Adulthood

You have blossomed into adulthood once you find Aragorn more attractive than Legolas.

Aragorn can get it!


3. What?

I actually still have a list I made when I was 13 of the must haves in a long term boyfriend. Good lord it's embarrassing. I'm 26 now so that feels like a lifetime ago.

At the top of the list "must be a guy" then I inserted "must be a

real guy" then I crossed it all out and wrote "that's a given.


4. Most women are attractive now

As a younger guy, I found only a very specific look attractive. As an older guy, I see beauty in almost every woman I meet.


5. Serious conversations

I used to hate having "talks" with my old girlfriends. Whether it was about our future or our feelings for each other or whatever. But now I find it super attractive when a girl is able to completely open up with me about her feelings or her past or our possible future together. I guess it's really just a maturity thing.


6. Curly hair

I used to relax, burn my scalp and destroy my hair with heat just to make sure it was straight. Because in my parent's culture straight hair = the only thing that's beautiful. Anything else is nappy or "bad hair" and along with it came the shame and low self esteem of not feeling pretty enough. At some point you start disliking yourself and I didn't want to do that anymore.

Thankfully the natural hair movement started taking off around the time that I was finding myself. It's totally normal now for me to walk into work with a giant afro.


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7. Respect

Men who treat me nicely! I look back and shudder at how long I spent with a guy who was embarrassed to hold my hand in public and had "sleepovers" with other women.


8. Quirks

Went on a date last night where the girl would constantly say "oh my gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd" but in such a humorous way. Cute and funny.


9. Self-sufficient

I absolutely will not accept a man who goes from Mommy to Wife and expects the same kind of treatment. If a man doesn't cook, clean and do his laundry properly then I won't even bite. My mom spent the last 30 years having an extra child in the form of my dad and I will not do that. It's not something I really thought about when I was younger.


10. More important things

Intelligence, ambition and their own income and savings. 10 years ago I didn't care about any of that - just if they were fit and up for a laugh!


11. Behavior

I find I'm more attracted to what a woman DOES than what she IS. Better to be with someone actively trying to turn you on than someone that expects their appearance to do it for them.


12. Brilliant!

I opened the dishwasher once and found that my boyfriend had loaded it in a way that I had never thought to before, and allowed for maximum dish capacity while still getting everything clean. I called him up at work and told him to get ready for sexy times upon his return.


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13. Proper enunciation

I used to work with a girl who would say "see you" instead of "see ya". The way she said it just sounded so genuine and pretty. Since then I've taken a stronger notice when a woman properly enunciates certain words, and I always find it super attractive. There just aren't very many people who enunciate these days I guess.


14. Being a good dad

I'm 28, so 10 years ago, this wasn't on my radar. Sure, I wanted to be with someone who eventually would be a good dad, but it wasn't something I would build a relationship on at that time. 10 years later, I'm married with a one year old and it's now something that I find very attractive about my husband.


15. Personality over looks

I'm with a man who is not conventionally attractive. He has a dad bod. He is considerably older than I am.

If I met him 10 years ago, I would never have been attracted to him. But now, I adore him. Maybe because it's HIM.


16. Someone with a good family (parents, siblings)

Not in the sense of wealth/status, more like sane/loving. Now that I am older, dating my SO also means forming a relationship with her family. Before I could have cared less what kind of family he/she came from.


17. Priorities

Not being edgy, not trying to kill silence with being random, drama queen,mentally stable/healthy, not having a dead end job or no job at all.

All those things were fascinating when I was younger and I somewhat was hyper-empathetic. Now my priorities are more focused on getting my own mental health and life in general in check, with someone I can relax with and someone who doesn't need constant attention or babysitting as an adult, and maybe put my own well being on a higher priority than someone who doesn't want to fix themselves.


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18. A good heart

Meeting and falling in love with a girl who's a good person and actually cares about people is wonderful. She's taught me how to not be a bitter jerk. I'm a complete person on my own but she makes me a better one.


19. Intelligence and maturity

After dating a girl who was neither I realized how much more enjoyable relationships can be when the other person doesn't pick senseless fights, and contributed to stimulating conversation.


20. All different shapes, colors, and genders

I think everyone grows up with the idea that they should be attracted to people "like them", and growing up in a small, white, Roman Catholic, conservative town, I only ever felt attraction to white women. I finished high school and went into the city for college, and met so many different people - it really opened my mind and my preferences, and I'm honestly embarrassed that there was ever a time I didn't find black people beautiful, or Asian people, or men, or women who weren't a perfect hourglass shape...I find many people beautiful these days, and I love all sorts of features.


21. A sense of humor

In high school I dated a beautiful girl who just never seemed to laugh, and always thought I was just being an idiot. It destroyed my self-worth and esteem. Now, I have a boyfriend who shares my sort of dumb sense of humor and we have been making stupid jokes for 2 years together. It's a good life.


22. Everyday ordinary life

I used to think traveling the world would be amazing and constantly being on the move doing extraordinary things. Now that seems so exhausting.

I'll die happy if I can spend the rest of my life playing with my dog, going on walks, playing board games with my family, watching movies with my husband, drinking coffee with good friends, and living a normal life. I used to think that would be boring. It was my worst fear, to do nothing special. Now I really want nothing but simplicity.


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23. Personality matters!

In the past few months, after having gone on a date with both a really laid back and sweet girl who was semi-attractive and then a beautiful girl who was about as deep as a dried oil stain, now I know why there is so much emphasis on personality.


24. Knows how to clean and do chores

My significant other is a veteran from the army and man, does he make one AMAZING bed. Like, I thought I had some bed making skills, but he beats me by a long shot. I just can't get over it. It makes my day every time I see it. We've been together a year now, and I still get the biggest smile on my face.

Also, he's very tidy and isn't afraid of a vacuum. And let me just tell you guys, if you can clean, you are DEFINITELY going to get more action. Because less stress and chores for me, means more free time to focus on "other things.


25. Imperfections

10 years ago I had very high standards of girls to the point where I could take no girl seriously. Now I find flaws in people that I actually like, and I think perfection would infuriate me.


26. Going to the movies alone

I've been married for 30 years, but found myself with time alone one weekend and went to see a movie one Saturday afternoon. I thought I'd look awkward, but who cares. Turns out, going to the movies by yourself is fantastic. The popcorn's all yours, I can even put jalapeno peppers on it, and get any darn drink I want. Plus no one asking me stuff during the movie.


27. Change of perspective

I used to be into pretty bad boys who were braggarts, kinda athletic, mostly trolls, very boisterous, show pony. Think Leonardo Di Caprio in Romeo and Juliet. Then I realized how boring these guys are one on one.

Now as an adult, I really am drawn to the shy nerdy types who are amazingly skilled, but are down to earth. Husky, beards, socially awkward but genuinely nice guy - ugh. I melt.

And just for me personally ... I used to hate the way I looked. I'm tall for my ethnicity and have always been curvy/plump which I hated because everyone was petite and on the slender side. I hated I didn't have blonde hair and blue eyes, and hated my round nose and skin colour. Now, I love that I look different, and pamper myself regularly.


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28. Agreement

I used to love a good argument, I enjoyed the passion, the sparring. A good argument/debate with someone you are attracted to, over something that doesn't particularly matter (so not your life or personal stuff, just opinions or abstract ideas) can be better than sex. I found myself repeatedly falling for women who I got along with very well and we were great friends, but when we were on opposite sides of a discussion it was fiery as and I loved it.

Now i'm with someone who agrees with me on pretty much everything anyway, we're like two peas in a pod. But even if she doesn't she hates arguing. We can discuss stuff, but we never get heated. It's great!


29. Stability

I was the off the wall girl who liked the off the wall guys. Tattoos, drugs, follow no rules. I dated my ex from 14 to 17. He was very unstable and very unpredictable. Life was like a rollercoaster. We split because I found someone even worse though we never dated, it was an adventure for the short time we were a thing. His mother was a stripper and his father just got out of prison after 16 years and lived with them. He was a biker gang dude that got right back into the drug business the day he got out. From 15 to 18 I couch surfed, never had a job, drank and did a lot of drugs. My boyfriends fed into my habits and I loved them for it. I never thought I'd want a clean cut guy.

So here I am, an adult, with a kid and a husband who wakes up every day, goes to work and works hard to support his family. My husband has never done a single drug, never smoked and hardly drinks. He had a crush on me when I was 14 and I wanted nothing to do with the nerdy kid he was. Now I look back at the guys I dated or had a crush on. They have done nothing with their lives. Few of them have been in and out of jail. Couple still live with their moms at almost 30 years old. I'm happy something in my brain just snapped one day and I decided to take a chance on this clean cut guy and move out of state with him.



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