People Share Why They Completely Lost Trust In Someone
From borrowing money but never paying it back, to making countless promises to a trip to Disney land but never following through, people share the time they completely lost their trust in someone.
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
Beginning when I was 9, I kept a diary where I would intermittently write random stuff. I was aware even as a kid that my mother would snoop every now and then in it, but it didn't bother me because she's my mom and I trusted her. One day in sixth grade, after introducing her to a boy from my class, she goes and blurts out, "Oh so you're [my name]'s crush!" I was a bespectacled, insecure 12-year-old, and couldn't possibly need anything else to bring my confidence down. I'd already graduated from university and had gotten married before I confided any serious news/secret to her again.
Back in high school, my best friend was having a birthday party. Told me that her dad said she was only allowed to have 5 people, and wanted to invite people she didn't get to see very often. I was disappointed, but accepted it.
Day after her birthday, one of our mutual friends is telling us how 10 people were there, including her ex-boyfriend.
Confronted her, she denied ever saying it, called me a liar, a bad friend, etc, and hung up on me because I started crying.
They discussed an issue with a mutual friend (my issue, no one elses) that I specifically asked they not discuss with anyone. Only found out when having a few drinks with both friends when mutual friends refer to issue - first friend then says well I had to talk it over with SOMEONE!! as though it was my fault for expecting her not to gossip. Obviously I dont discuss anything personal with that person any more...
Told me she was committing suicide. I talked her through it, cried with her, got a nearby friend to call the police to go help her, etc.
Maybe after 15 minutes of this she seems to be better and says:
"I'm glad I can trust you to be there if I ever actually think of committing suicide."
It was a test. She was very confused as to why I refused to talk to her ever again.
Roommate who stopped paying bills while his name was on the lease was using my rent money for whatever and not paying rent, then all of our utilities went off, because he didn't pay that either even though he told me he was constantly that he was doing so. Then after the utilities went out I went to work and came home and half of his stuff was gone and I didn't hear from him again.
My mom really screwed with my undying trust I had in her as a child. She would tell us we were going to Disney World, all up to the point of having us pack, just for dad to come home and say, We barely have money for food, were not ever going to Disney.
But the mega shattered trust was when I got in a car accident at about 12-13 years old. I wasnt hurt terribly bad but my mom made a huge claim to get a bunch of money. I had to go to physical therapy and fake injuries. and she took the $2,500 and went on a vacation. All without me.
Friend of eight years got a job at the same place as me and things were good for a while. But every time I would say anything to him I would end up hearing from the boss the same complaints that I was talking to my friend about. And then after that he started spreading rumors with the rest of our friends and the other workers that I was damaging store property and harassing employees. It ended up being cleared as nothing had been done by myself and the rest of our group of friends stopped talking to him, at the time I was the only one that made an effort to be his friend still. Everyone else had gotten fed up with his lies. I always had to cool everyone down but after that I just ignore his existence. Still work together from time to time.
I got up super early to help a "friend" with horse stuff and the entire time she was asking me to lie to anyone that asked questions about the horse, every phone call she made was lying to someone about what she was doing or where she was.
That and I took care of her horses for months and still haven't been paid for those services. I'm a pet sitter, it's my income and she knew it. It's why she asked me to care for them in the first place. Knowing she wasn't financially well off I only asked for the cost of transportation to and from her horses (well over a $200 discount, meaning $0 for my actual services). It's been over a year and she's reluctantly paid me a fraction of it so far... every time I send a reminder it's ignored or there's yet another excuse or life crisis that causes her to not pay.
I was sharing an apartment with my best friend. The apartment and utilities were in my name, so he paid his half of the bills and rent to me. I usually had to nag him for the rent money, and one month he was particularly late. I told him I needed the money asap to pay rent, so he gave me a check. I deposited it, paid the rent check, and all seemed well.
A short while later, I find out his check bounced, which then made the rent check bounce. When I confronted him he said "Why'd you deposit that check? It was no good." I was dumbfounded, and asked him why he'd give me a check for rent he knew I needed to pay if it was no good. He said "You kept bugging me about it."
No way I'd ever be able to trust someone like that...I kicked him out of the apartment and never talked to him again.
Also, my fiance in college cheated on me, so I immediately broke it off and never spoke to her again.
I told my sister in-law that I had major depression and had been suicidal for 10 years. Her response was that "not everyone who has suicidal thoughts does anything," knowing that my two older brothers completed suicide within the previous 2 years. My jaw dropped and I was speechless, my brother (only one left) who was sitting right next to her said nothing.
I will never trust her again — and there are many more reasons why.
They borrowed some money and told me they'd get it back to me when they were paid. Later they still hadn't paid me back but told me they would finally pay me when we met next week and asked to borrow another $10.
While I didn't trust them exactly, I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt since we had been friends a long time, week comes and still no money.
Altogether cost me $30 which was a bargain to learn that they needed to be cut from my life as soon as possible.
My best friend asked me to open up to him. I was going through a tough time dealing with my anxiety. Finally, opened up to him and told him what's up. He went around telling the rest of the friend group he didn't want me around anymore (right after). Also after messing with my feelings for almost a year knowing that I was vulnerable. Lost a whole friend group because of this. He has ghosted me ever since. Really sucks cause he was literally the only person I had trusted and did everything with.
Broke up with my fiance and slept over my friends house. My friend wanted to be in an open relationship with this guy from work, but her fiance said no. To get her way, she sent her fiance downstairs to have sex with me while I was passed out drunk, so that he'd have no choice but to let her pursue work love interest. I hate them both now. My friend's house was supposed to be safe.
A cousin stole from me and my dad under our noses over the course of a few months. I would understand if it was maybe a few bucks here and there but it ended up being over a thousand dollars by the time we found out.
How he did this was because he was living with us for awhile for school and he took it while we werent around. My dad ended up confronting him about it and he had the biggest look of guilt hes seen on him; he was told to pack his things and never come back.
His mom found out and eventually she paid us back but family relations just sort of rotted away from there. Roughly about a year after it had happened my cousin messaged me asking for money. As soon as I seen the message, I just felt everything in my body burn with anger and wanted to say the most vile things after that. I simply said no, and dont bother asking again and left it at that.
My Mom cancelled my dog's insurance as she was unemployed and couldn't afford it anymore. He needed to go to the vet for an operation when she told me, then she lied and told me she'd cancelled it the month before when she'd actually cancelled it three months before.
Unfortunately my dog was old and became very ill, needing a lot of medication and trips to the vet which bankrupted me as I was the only one working.
She buries her head in the sand over money and lies to people about it, but the impact it has on us doesn't seem to register.
A friend of mine liked to cheat on her boyfriend; he was always traveling so she didn't have to try hard to hide it.
We often went out to bars with this friend, it was unusual for my wife or I to go without the other, we were recently married. One night the friend invites my wife out, tells my wife that the guys they're going to go out with don't like me or the friend's boyfriend, but it's no big deal and to keep it a secret from me.
Naturally my wife doesn't go, our friend is actually mad at my wife for telling me about this whole scenario, and my wife is too nice to cut off contact with this person. I recently had to stand up in their wedding. It was garbage.
My mom and dad divorced when I was little. My mom told my very wealthy dad that she doesn't want half of every thing or to split assets but she wants him to pay for my college.
Over the years he sent hundreds of dollars maybe even close to 100k. He sends it to her account so she can pay taxes on it, he calls this her payoff and that's how he addresses the money. I haven't seen a dime of it. She mostly keeps it all. She just pays my monthly payment for 1 student loan. While I still have 80k in student loans.
On top of this she threatens me if I don't do what she wants, or if I ever tell my dad.
Asked my newish serious boyfriend (now husband) to take my mom to dinner so she could get to know him since she's hated my previous boyfriends and made my life hell during those relationships. She told him all about how she understands that men need a woman they can just have a sexual relationship with and that she enjoys being that for men in relationships. Hint hint. He was completely traumatized. Thanks mom.
Demanded I leave the key of my newly furnished and renovated house outside the house, as he was going to come over with his girlfriend later and didn't want her to have to wait the 10 minutes it would take for me to get back home, after he'd arrived. Told me I was unreasonable and that he didn't care if we got robbed. HE didn't want to have to wait or make his girlfriend wait. Told him to get out my house when he shouted at me for not leaving said key and haven't spoken to him since. Could never trust someone who would value 10 minutes over my entire home.
When I was young (around 7 years old) my parents took me to a party. There, they said they had a friend who was a dentist. They said he could look at my loose tooth (it was hurting) and that he was just going to look at it. I was scared, but I trusted them.
Not only did this guy pull my tooth out roughly with his bare fingers, but it turns out he was drunk and not even a dentist. My parents always lied to me like this for as long as I can remember, but this one really stuck out.
Now that I'm an adult, they still lie to me, but my whole family is full of liars, so I guess I'm used to it.
After our wedding reception my new husband and I left the money we got as gifts with his mother while we went to enjoy our honeymoon. A week later we came back and gave her a call saying we were on our way to pick it up, we needed it to do some stuff on our house. Well, she confessed that she spent it all while we were gone. She never asked permission and lied about needing it for bills. In the past we had loaned her a couple hundred dollars here and there that she never paid us back, but we never thought she would steal money from us. Looking back we were stupid to trust her with it. We told her we're never giving her money again and she had a week to pay us back.
She did get the money back to us, but when she handed it over she hugged my husband and thanked him for helping her and letting her use it. I'll never forget the look on his face when she did that. Now 4 years later we avoid ever seeing her because every time she asks to borrow money, and every time we say no. Most recently, she showed off a bad piece of art she bought from a neighbor for $150 the week before, and the next day she asked us to borrow $200. When we suggested she sell the art, she said she'd just call her siblings for the money. I'll never trust her again.
I used to manage a movie theater, I came across an application from this kid who was friends with my ex. It said he left his position at another theater because his mom died. I was really sad because we used to hang out at his house and I met his mom several times.
Fast forward a couple years this kid starts coming in every now and then asking for free tickets for him and his friends. I didn't care, free tickets was one of the few perks of the job (and helped our weekly numbers in concession sales) so I'd give him all the tickets he wanted. Then it was his birthday, can I get tickets? Yeah, sure, no problem, happy birthday! A few months later it was his birthday again! I didn't realize he had 2 birthdays this year until after I gave him the tickets and sent him on his way so I just cut my loss and moved on.
A couple months later he comes in again and asks for free tickets and says his mom just died. I told him to hold on and I get the application. I ask him what is this, he said his mom died a couple years before that. He said he didn't submit that application and that wasn't even his address. I said "Dude, I've BEEN to your house! Don't ask me for tickets ever again." And I left. Never saw him again.
My girlfriend and I held a moving-away/college graduation party in a river cabin with our closest friends and family. It was a remote cabin outside of cell phone reception. I proposed to my girlfriend that weekend. It was so wonderful. We specifically mentioned that we were SO excited to tell friends that couldn't make it.
One of our friends boyfriends left the day before we did. When we got back into cell reception we had like 100 Facebook notifications. The boyfriend had posted it on Facebook including pictures. Totally stole our thunder.
After confronting him, he apologized and said he has a social media addiction. Turns out he's outed TWO people's pregnancies before they even told their families. He has a problem. We don't tell him anything until we've told everyone important to us.
One of my best friends of about 20 years, slept with my girlfriend/mother of my son. This brought about the lowest point in my life that I don't think I've ever really recovered from.
Most of my relationships with friends and family were strained and no one really got along with girlfriend. My mom passed away suddenly a few months prior. Girlfriend and friend were pretty much the only people I had.
I always looked up to my friend as far as relationships went, he was always so over the top monogamous. I think that was a big connection we had, cause our other best friend was a player. So friend, girlfriend, and me got really close and hung out a lot. Really I saw it coming but was just in denial.
One night girlfriend goes out with her friends and friend happens to be at the bar. She gets really drunk and ends up staying at his place for "safety" purposes. Fast forward a couple weeks, girlfriend is in the hospital with a blood clot. After we get home from hospital she breaks down and tells me the blood clot was a side effect from the morning after pill that she had too take after sleeping with my friend. I broke that day.
I'm a freelance graphic designer by trade. I was asked to do work for a friends (she was the bride) wedding. It involved doing hand painted chalkboards for the reception and signs to be scattered about the place. It took over 50 hours in total. Pulled many late nights and it consumed so much of my time I couldn't take on any other work. I didn't expect any payment as payment was never discussed. Appreciation was payment enough as far as I was concerned.
I arrived at the wedding and the chalkboards looked great and I was pleased it all turned out well. However the bride and groom never even mentioned it. Avoided me the whole day and never said a word about it. Didn't say thank you or even acknowledge any time or effort. They thanked everyone else during the speeches, even the slightest effort made. (Someone took care of their dog for a morning that week, etc) and I was what it seemed intentionally snubbed by the groom. It made me feel incredibly taken advantage of. I'm usually not one to speak up and would do anything to help someone out but this one really stung. Has made me think twice about doing "favours" for people in future.
I know the time that goes into creative work is never valued but it's never hard to say thank you.
My last relationship began by my significant other telling me to always be honest with him- I stayed in my previous relationship way longer than I should have, and this boyfriend wanted to make sure we were always progressing forward and communicating honestly. I loved that. I fell hard and trusted him completely.
Fast forward a year and a half, we have been broken up about 5 months. I found out two days ago he had been seeing someone else (a coworker, I might add) for the last 3 months of our relationship. He hid it from both me and my coworker all this time, and now I wonder how many other times in my life I have been/will be fooled by a wolf in sheep's clothing.
My mom's boyfriend gave me a couple scratch offs for Christmas. In the heat of the holiday party, I didn't realize they were winners. My mom said she would try turning them in for me anyway while she exchanged her tickets as well. Couple months later she slipped up and mentioned my scratch offs were winners. I asked her why she never gave me my winnings, she said she needed it more than I did. Apparently it was a couple hundred dollars. At that time before Christmas, I loaned some money from my savings to my dad who gave me half back and forever forgot about the rest. This was something my mom was aware of. There's many other instances in the past of her lying and stealing. To this day I question almost everything she says. I doubt it was worth it.
My husbands father was getting remarried and planned on a huge society wedding in Boston. His soon to be wife threw a huge fit because she was upset that his family wasnt really responding well to invites. My husband was supposed to be the best man in the wedding. A week before the wedding the first wife throws a big fit and cancels everything. Not because she didnt want to get married but because she didnt want his family to go anymore. So we lost out on our hotel room and the money we put down on my husbands tux, plus the money we shelled out for outfits for me (the bride wanted all the women to wear the same color dress for pictures.)
Two months later we see them and they got married secretly with only her family in attendance. My husband was so upset. I was incredibly pissed they had been so inconsiderate toward my husband.
Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.