People Talk About The Reasons They Don't Want Children
It's presented as one of the inevitable stages in life - having children. However, for many, this is not seen as a inevitability but as a choice.
Here, people share the reasons not to have children.
I'm going to talk you out of having kids.
Before I do, I should mention that I have two beautiful children and feel that I am better at being a father than anything else I've ever done, and there's some stuff I'm pretty good at. Also, everything that happened to me before I had kids seems compressed, to the point where it's still kind of there, but almost like it happened to someone else. And that was only three years ago.
So anyway, here we go:
Raising two kids costs us about 4k a month. Not counting college, and any savings, etc. That's just childcare, clothes, toys, books, and a swim class or something. You can lease 2 serviceable Mercedes for $1k per month. A pretty good rate on a $700k house with nothing down and a 30 year fixed is like $4k per month. You could fly to Maui two weekends a month, every month, and stay in the a nice hotel, for $3k per month.
If you love your spouse as much as I love mine, you should enjoy the time you have together now, because that decreases at an alarming rate once you have kids. No joke. If your kids aren't talking yet (or if they're just mute I guess) it's not as noticeable, but once they hit about two, your meaningful conversations are relegated to naptime and bedtime.
If you have some hobbies or maybe a job that requires a lot of travel and long hours, you're going to have to choose, every day. You have 18 hours in a day. How much of that time are you spending with your kid? How much is not enough? If you're working 8-5 and their bedtime is 7:30, you've probably got an hour in the morning and maybe two at night. That's three hours a day, minus eating, dressing, bathing, etc. So you have maybe 90 minutes of quality time with your kid. If you have two and they're on different schedules (common when they're young), decrease accordingly. But you have them on weekends, right? Sure, but you're not the only one who wants to see them. And you've got house chores, errands, etc. Your time is no longer your own, and you never have enough for them, much less anything else.
You like traveling? Ever been on a 26 hour flight and been annoyed at the screaming kids in the row behind you? Well now those kids are yours. Traveling with kids in their first years can be without tragedy, but never optimal. And it always requires your normal amount of administration (planning, packing, etc.) times four, not to mention cost and sacrifice of stuff you just can't realistically do anymore. If this is on your bucket list, better start checking them off now.
My oldest kid gets up at 6 am. Every day. She doesn't get up like we get up either, like she needs time to get going or anything. She literally bursts out of her room every morning like sunlight cresting a mountain. She goes from sleeping to full adrenaline in a nanosecond. She wakes up motivated, like a miniature female version of Patton. Whereas later in the day she's polite, in the morning she commands people. "It's time for you to get up and make oatmeal, dad." Like a boss. What time do you get up on weekends? Ever sleep in? I kind of remember sleeping in. It actually hurts to try and remember it. Like if I lost the sense of smell, but could still remember the aroma of fresh baked cookies.
Remember the first time you had your heart broken? Remember how you wanted to die and nothing ever hurt that much after? Having something happen to one of your kids is many times worse than that. I am blessed, but I had a scare with one of them, and it was the most traumatic thing I've ever been through. If you live a comfortable life where you're insulated from the highs and lows that come with emotional attachment, having a small human that's completely dependent on you for survival and loves you more than you could love anything in your adult life might not be for you.
Having said all of that, I'd give up all the money I ever earned to keep being a dad. My wife and I were happy before kids, but there's no question we're happier now. Going to Disneyland with a toddler is more fun than going to Rome or Hawaii as newlyweds. All of my friends who don't have kids wish they had mine, and every hobby or sport or consulting gig I've given up means nothing to me if it would require giving up a few hours with my kids.
Some humans do not want children because of fear.
There are no guarantees in life. We are not guaranteed happy, healthy children. Even with genetic screening, amniocentesis and ultrasound technologies to determine what the combined outcome of egg and sperm are, and state-of-the-art medical prenatal care, children are too often born with very serious birth defects.
Fear of the impacts of disability and one's ability to handle a catastrophic lack of sleep and similar physical, emotional and financial impacts can deter even the most maternally/paternally-minded would-be parents from believing there is a logical reason to have children. I know: I gave birth to a child with life-threatening medical issues. The fear is completely justified. Having a child is a medical gamble with a mother's life, because risk is always involved with childbirth, as it is with every other activity in life.
A child is a medical gamble with a baby's life, because risk is always involved with childbirth. Medical impacts at birth often have significant, unchangeable effects that can forever alter the course of your life and that of your child.
The world can be a shockingly dangerous and traumatic place for any child's existence despite our best efforts at risk prevention. Some of us are fearful we may not be up to the task of protecting our children. In an arguably famous book whose story and author I do not currently recollect, the author speaks of this kind of parental fear as anxiety, manifested in his nightmares by an undertoad ready to steal his kids' lives and his happiness during one summer while watching them swim in deep water. Those without children to care for and protect, while staying at a summer house by the shore, would certainly feel more relaxed.
Some potential parents choose not to have children because of fear that it is too all-encompassing. Parents are independent creatures universally viewed by their dependent children as being the food source, protector, psychologist, policeman, teacher, risk evaluator, rescuer, guide, mother/father, friend, comforter, etc etc etc for our children. Many humans experience fear when they carefully consider the impacts of parenthood and its associated urge to protect our young, and simultaneously consider the state of the world our children will inherit. The demands on a human parent are seemingly without end and require a selflessness that many humans do not want to experience.
Also some humans aren't inclined. I strongly support childlessness for all who do not want children. Although almost anybody can procreate, conscious parenting is a choice that can be considered deeply and planned for over time. There is an art to raising children which has been elevated by many parents I have known. Parenthood can be entered into after research, deep forethought and planning if you don't want to be surprised by unexpected possibilities you had not ever considered. After thinking about the possibilities and weighing the risks and costs, some human beings are, and others just aren't, inclined to become parents.
A Resource for all potential parents: Becoming Parents. To read about the various physical, psychological and emotional impacts of parenthood on human beings, author Sandra Jaffee, (a certified childbirth and breastfeeding expert with experience teaching new parents everything related to parenthood for more than twenty years), wrote a spellbinding book with Jack Vertiel called Becoming Parents.
Some humans do not want children because they made a personal decision, and made it as a result of their culture. For me, ever since becoming a parent, Life has not been what I envisioned while I was a little girl. As a child I was often clearly imagining my own future motherhood. I knew just how I would treat my own children, I thought. And, --I thought I was going to France when I got on the pregnancy plane, but I ended up in Denmark. Upon arrival, everything was different than expected. The geography, culture and language were not what I ever anticipated--, but despite everything, I love where I ended up; wouldn't change my lot in life for anything.
It was my pleasure as they were growing up to give my children--and, today, also, the children of parents who seek my counsel--every genuine joyous possibility in life, hoping they would take advantage one day of everything our world could offer.
Now my own have grown. I keep being me, waving, blowing kisses, heart beating, beating and a tear slowly melting down my cheek as they walk away from daily life involving me, and travel along their own pathways of Life. I'm looking forward to having grandchildren one day. And lots of celebrations and Thanksgivings. I think I was born this way. Some humans aren't.
I have never wanted children. Though, being a woman, I felt that I would have children anyway. As a girl, I played and pretended to be a mother many times. My parents bought me baby dolls which I loved and took care of. It seemed to be in my DNA to want to take care, and the biggest role in doing so is to become a mother.
I think everyone assumes that this is what you will do. You're a woman. You will be a mother. That is still seen as the ultimate form of giving on the planet. Mothers have days. Childless women do not. There is no special occasion for a woman who chooses to become something else, to blossom in a different way, even as she gives to a great number of people- until she becomes a saint.
In my 20's I remember thinking that I could not have a child, because I wasn't emotionally and financially ready. There were other interests. I wanted to travel. I wanted to meet people and see the world. Writing became very important to me as did my career.
In my late 20's, my best friend had her first child. I felt a split in our friendship immediately. Suddenly, she was too busy to dream and talk about the world with me. I saw her slip into an abyss- unavailable. The superiority of that dynamic frightened me. She was a mother now. Her life had been usurped by another being. I fell away from a cold distance that stunned me. We were no longer in the same camp: hers had become clearer, with a purpose and a direction while I still floundered and sought for self-identity. A friendship virtually ended with this dividing line. We had been best friends for two decades.
At 31, I married. Now the window was wide open to have a child. Despite the problems already arising in my new marriage, I began taking my temperature. It was the closest I came to considering motherhood- a whim carried by the culture and not the true me.
Thirty-three. Divorced. I decided to join a spiritual community and became enticed by living a monastic life. Children seemed like a life's dream that belonged to someone else. I began doubting that this would happen for me, and I was numb to it. I wanted to become enlightened and that seemed like the loftiest goal I could fathom. For me, that had to be pursued with everything I had, and there was no room for doing diapers.
I spent a decade in that pursuit, dedicated to that community. During that time, I found meaning in giving to a higher purpose and a global cause. Becoming aware of the tension that population growth was placing on the planet, I believed that motherhood would best be spent not by having my own children, but by taking care of the world in some other way. This took the form of counseling people, and teaching hundreds of people English from all corners of the world. It also took the form of spiritual practice and experimenting with enlightened communication. As a teacher, I felt the satisfaction of giving to those who were not my kin, not part of my tribe. And through time, I was able to apply my spiritual experience to my work, which only amplified my ability to help uplift people's lives.
Early on I also had the realization that having children, at least in American culture, can be a form of passing the buck. It can be costly. It can require all kinds of stuff. Materialism seems to be a huge part of it for a lot of people. And it can get people off the hook from really doing anything truly significant themselves. Pouring all of one's love and attention into raising a child may have been a huge value to the world in the past, but given the conditions we live in today, I really think many more of us need to choose to not have kids, to put our attention on other matters.
In America we seem to place such a value on children and the potential they have. But what happens to this potential when they reach their 20's? We begin to wonder when will our kids have kids. How, then, are we valuing our lives in this case? And so, I asked myself, what if I made my life really matter? What if I did everything I could to become fully me, as fully evolved as I could be?
This is a hard road. As a childless woman, I feel I must make my life meaningful. There is no other option. No child. No excuse. Be something, give something, do something.
I suppose you could say, I resonated with that calling more.
Now as I pass into my last stages of fertility, I am sure that motherhood was never right for me. I often wish I had spent my childhood playing other games, rather than playing with dolls. I wish I had played games that mimicked how my life would actually look and who I would actually be than what biology or culture imposed.
In the end, my passion for being useful and changing the world in my small but not insignificant way far exceeds the biological instinct to bring more folks on board. I will leave no one behind -but the time and attention I will give to sharing my own unique gifts and for connecting to the world on a larger scale will explode out of me in the form of joy and happiness - I will be true to myself, most of all. This is a happier me and the world will like me better for it.
1) I don't like to be around other people's kids, and I've never wanted to risk that I'd feel that way about my own children.
2) Selfishness. Raising kids is a 24-hour-a-day commitment for 18 years, or as long as it takes for them to go off to college. They deserve that commitment, and a parent who's going to love them no matter what.
3) There are several genetic medical conditions in my family that I wouldn't wish on anyone, especially not my children. None of them are fatal or crippling, but all of them can make life very unhappy at times.
I believe that you should only have children if you clearly understand what you're getting yourself (and them) into. It should never be an automatic decision, one taken at the spur of the moment, or one taken in order to save a marriage or relationship.
Because they would take up a huge amount of my time, which I'd have to either give up my job, give up the theatre company I run at night, or have a caregiver look after my kids.
Even if I could afford that final option, I wouldn't choose it. I would only enjoy having children if I could spend lots of time with them.
If I had a way of giving up my job, I would seriously consider having kids, but I need to work in order to afford food and a roof over my head.
Which leaves theatre. And I guess when push comes to shove, I simply value that more than having kids. Or, at least, I'm not willing to give it up in order to have them. It's been my passion for decades and I've devoted most of my non-working-hours energy to it.
And I don't have a local support system to help out. I have no relatives nearby and my wife's folks are dead.
I don't think all humans want to have kids because of some biological imperative. Here's another possibility: Humans' self-consciousness.
This question assumes that all organisms consciously want to propagate their species. I disagree. Organisms want to have sex or lay eggs. Both of these activities are instinctual. I doubt a dog thinks about the consequences of mounting a female dog (as far as we can tell).
We, as humans, can think about the consequences and implications of our actions. We are seinent beings and introspective ones at that. We're not slaves to insnict (mostly). So, we can make choices that diverge from a "biological imperative."
Now that we have multiple contraceptive options, we can satisfy a biological urge (having sex) without the reproduction part. Our self-awareness allows us to have that option. Maybe if penguins were both self-aware and had contraceptives, they would think twice about having children.
There are also historical and socioeconomic factors: increasing need for higher education for career success, overcrowding, high housing prices, et cetera.
I think a better question is why do some people want children? Most people, even those who have them, can't answer that one. Parents will tell me, "Little Barbara is the best part of my life! She makes me smile every time I see her!" but that doesn't answer why you had her. It justifies the decision, but before you have a kid, you don't know if that kid will love you, will make you happy, or even survive.
There are tons of children in the world already who don't have homes or parents or even enough to eat. Why do people feel compelled to reproduce when you could simply take in an existing child?
Raising a child is stupidly difficult, and the entire world is out to either tell you your doing it wrong or actually punish you for doing it. When I was a kid, I'd ride my bike around the neighborhood for hours, wait in the car while my folks ran errands in the store, cook dinner, you name it. This kind of behavior is now viewed as negligent and criminal. Why on earth would you want to have a kid if you must raise them in complete captivity? Even if you trust your kid, no one else does and you get blamed.
The biological purpose to have children is to keep the species going. Based on the current population of the planet, there is no need to have children.
I had an abusive childhood and started to deal with that history when I was out of college. I learned that abused people have a tendency to become abusers themselves and decided before I met my wife that I didn't want to have kids. I saw the power of dysfunction inside me and didn't want to pass it off to another generation.
By the time I met my wife at 28, I was even more convinced that I didn't want to have kids. Most of my friends were married with children by then and I saw that their lives were consumed with caring for kids. I saw the vast quantities of time, money and emotional energy that were spent on children and it just wasn't something that was interesting to me. They seemed to enjoy being parents, for the most part, but they often seemed frazzled and exhausted. I just didn't want that kind of life for myself.
I actually enjoy kids. I'm pretty good with them, mostly because I'm a juvenile lurking in an adult's body. But that didn't mean I needed my own. Since so many of my friends had kids, I got my kid fix with theirs and then happily went home to a quiet, unfrenzied place.
As we dated, my wife and I talked about kids often because we wanted to make sure we had thought thought through all the angles. We were still in agreement that we wanted life to be just the two of us. One friend was cynical enough to say that she was lying to me so that I would marry her and then when it was too late for me to get out, she would want kids. Sixteen years into our marriage, we still have no kids and we haven't argued about one of us wanting kids and the other not. I think our agreement on not having kids has been one of the most significant contributors to the stability of our marriage. In contrast, a lot of marital conflict centers on issues related to kids.
We love the freedom we have. We can focus on each other and our own interests without being constantly impeded by the needs and demands of children. We can travel, we can take a weekend trip on a whim, we can waste days, we can use our resources as we want.
The first few years we were married, some people asked if we thought it was a selfish way to live. I always found that to be an amazing question because of the underlying assumption that only parents know how to live in a giving, unselfish way. To my knowledge, none of my single friends has ever been asked if they thought living solo was selfish.
The question whether intentionally childless couples live selfishly assumes that the presence or intentional absence of children in a marriage is the sole factor in determining whether a couple lives generously or selfishly. So, in the minds of some people, only parents can live generously. Generous living isn't a function of how many kids one has. It's a function of how well a person connects with other people to give to and receive from them.
I was assured by a few people that when I became older, I would regret the decision to not have kids, apparently because I wouldn't have someone to take care of me. This blew my mind because of the huge assumptions that the purpose of children is to care for aging parents, that the children will still like their parents enough to care for them or that that the parents would even want to be cared for by their kids.
I think many people have kids because it's the thing to do. For me and my wife, it's not the thing to do and we are without regret.
Because they don't want to. Yes, it really is that simple. I could give you a long list of reasons why kids would not be a good addition to my life - the cost, the loss of freedom, the disruption to my long-term career goals, the mess, the permanent damage childbirth would probably cause to my body, the fact that the world is overpopulated, etc.
But really, those are justifications, not reasons, because if I wanted kids badly enough I'd find ways to overcome them and/or make the necessary sacrifices.
This doesn't mean I hate kids (although I don't particularly enjoy being around most of them). It's like asking why I don't want a horse. I have nothing against horses but the idea of taking responsibility for one doesn't appeal to me, and why would I take on that responsibility, considering the cost and effort involved, if I didn't really want it?
Not having kids doesn't involve a change to the status quo. Having them does, both for the parents (hopefully) and the new life being created. Considering this, and the fact that the world is overpopulated, I think a better question would be, "Why do some people want to have children?"
Being a woman doesn't mean to want to make babies by default.
She might like babies, but she might not wish to make them.
Having uterus doesn't mean that she has to house somebody in it.
Biology and psychology are sometimes mistaken to be one.
It is our body, our will, our blood and flesh; and hence our choice to procreate or not.
Nobody is supposed to be judged just because they don't want to have babies.
Sometimes we want our career and sometimes our passion to lead our lives. If making a child doesn't fit in that, what's a big deal?
It's high time we start seeing females as human beings first, women later.
Not choosing to have a baby doesn't make femininity any lesser.
So the answer is "because she wants it that way".
For some, because it's a lot easier to have the time to optimize for impact when you don't have children, especially since children frequently don't end up in the way that their parents want them to end up.
Children take up lots of time/money, which makes it harder to be continually attentive to the world once you have children - many peoples social circles shrink after having children. Some people enjoy being able to rapidly adapt (or even move in response to) to rapid changes in the world, which is much easier when youre childless and have the collective wisdom accumulated over 30+ years of life. Being able to enjoy freedom while also possessing this type of wisdom is an experience few enjoy.
Some childless people have had the opportunity to mentor generations of students instead. Many younger people lack mentor-ship, and it's possible to have more time to mentor more younger people when you're childless. It's much easier for childless people to be generous to others, especially those who are unusually receptive to said generosity.
For many high-intelligence/potential people, their children will most likely be less intelligent/high-potential than them, simply due to regression to the mean. It may be more rewarding/impactful for them to help other high-intelligence/potential young people.
Also, children are frequently less attached to their parents than their parents are to their children (though I sometimes wonder if they would be more attached to their parents if more parents actually knew how to really be supportive [rather than push their children in directions that ultimately aren't healthy for them, and make them unwilling to share anything with their parents]).
Many studies show that the net effect of children on happiness is negative. For many, life is already hard enough without children - why make it even harder? Why bring new life into this world when there is already so much suffering in it?
Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?
You're not the only one.
u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.
I Know What I LikeGiphy
My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.
The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.
A Stair Step
My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.
My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.
My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.
We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.
I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.
My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.
With an ex:
"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."
She did not understand this.
I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.
"Now how much do you have in your hand?"
She still didn't understand.
She somehow has a college degree.
When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.
I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.
My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.
His answer was that I was being unfair.
How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."
To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.
A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.
A Non-Standard Ruler?
I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.
Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.
7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.
Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.
Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.
This Unusual Vegan Argument
Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.
He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.
That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."
Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.
Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.
In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.
It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.
Albert or ArnoldGiphy
Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?
Below Sea Level
I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.
I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.
This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.
Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.
Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.
An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.
I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.
Whales Are Mammals
I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.
Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.
My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.
No Balloons For Grandma
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.
He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.
He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
Spontaneous Dolphin ExistenceGiphy
How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.
I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.
Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.
But ... Ice Floats
Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.
Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.
Time Zones Exist
Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"
"no, it's red"
"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)
The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.
The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.
It was stupid.
Stars Like Our Sun
I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.
I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.
I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.
Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.
Balloon to Heaven
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.
And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.
He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.
It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.
Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".
My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.
3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.
I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.
Late to the party, but there it is.
I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.
Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.
Wicked Witch of the West
I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.
I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.
Keep Your Hands to Yourself
Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.
They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.
So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.
My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.
I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.
We didn't speak to each other for four days.
How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).
How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.
Dogs and ChocolateGiphy
I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.
I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.
Is water wet?
My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.
For the record, it is no to both questions.
A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.
He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.
One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.
It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.
Green Or Yellow?
When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.
Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.
Stars In Their MultitudeGiphy
I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".
I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.
She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.
We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.
I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"
I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.
I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...
Solid Or Liquid?
Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.
For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.