IRL

People Divulge What Ruined Their First Real Relationship

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Relationships take a lot of work, and a lot of people end up failing pretty hard before they learn to get it right.

Sometimes it's something one party in the relationship does, but sometimes it's just that they realize they're not a good fit for each other.


Relationships end for a lot of reasons, so Reddit user u/zLulatsch asked:

"What ruined your first real relationship?"

10.

I was an ahole.

-saveemisalive

Me too. It was years ago, and I feel like I've bettered myself since then. But I still regret hurting someone that I truly loved. They tolerated a lot of shit to try to stay with me. I can only hope I'm a better person than I used to be, and that they're having a good life nowadays.

-2fastSOAP

9.

It sounds like a cliche, but I only liked the idea of having a girlfriend. In practice, it turns out I don't like it.

-untakenu

Sounds like you need a boyfriend.

-Rohxypoo

Tried that too. Don't like it.

-untakenu

8.

I changed. She was an incredible person and treated me better than anyone ever has. She loved me unconditionally, did so much for me and was selfless. That was how I was at the beginning of our relationship. Eventually, other things in my life were getting to me and making me a cranky ahole and I would take it out on her. Just things like the way I spoke to her, snapping at her, just being a piece of sh!t towards her.

Even when she would tell me and I would see her crying, it's like it wouldn't get through to me. I would do and say things that it wouldn't even dawn on me how mean they were until after the fact. When our daughter was born (and through the pregnancy), it was her making the sacrifices and going without sleep in the middle of the night. I was a lousy boyfriend and lousy father. She never deserved a single bit of any of that.

It wasn't until she broke up with me that it became painfully obvious (like hitting a brick wall obvious) the kind of horrible person I had become with how I treated her. I loved her, but I obviously didn't show that a good amount of the time. I had changed for the worst and I don't blame her one bit for leaving me. It's been nearly 9 years and a day hasn't passed that I am not thinking of this all through out the day.

I think I deserve that for what I put her through. Fair enough. I can't change how I was, no matter how much I wish I could erase those memories from her mind. But that realization and learning from mistakes, I have an amazing relationship with my daughter and have for years. I'd do anything to change the past, but of course, that's not possible and that's life.

-RyanPelley

7.

Him not respecting basic boundaries like leaving me alone when I needed space, telling his friends what we did in the bedroom, pushing me to do things so I didn’t want too, even involving his friends at one point.

-Shortkitsu

6.

She wanted to bone other guys. We were young and she was honest. I was devastated at the time but realized pretty quick I wanted to bone other girls too. All works out in the end.

-IEATHOTDOGSRAW

5.

We were a couple for roughly 6-7 years and during our last year I moved in with him to his apartment.

A few months before that, he rented a room to his childhood best friend and when I moved in I discovered he had the biggest crush on him.

His friend was straight and my ex never had a chance with him but still he was so tryhard... He would do anything for him, eventually I started getting bitter about this and started hating them both.

In the end I was an ahole to his friend all the time, I was distant with my bf and he ended up cheating on me with a guy from his college.

-SteveKareha

4.

Eh immaturity. We were young, socially awkward, neither of us knew how to ask for what we wanted or what fair expectations were. Kind of wish we had just fooled around or dated lightly and went our separate ways but, again, young.

-scarefish

3.

It was my fault. I was mentally abusive without meaning to. I cut the relationship off for our own good and took a long break from dating anybody to change. I'm now in a happy 7 month relationship.

-broavs

2.

I felt she was needy but instead of communicating this to her, I dumped her out of nowhere. In hindsight, I was just doing things for her without asking, because I assumed she was helpless without me (she wasn't), and it burned me out. Not really fair to either party, but I least I learned from my mistakes.

-twelvis

1.

We were both too young and both dealing with undiagnosed mental issues. We enabled bad behavior and shut down good behavior. Shared misery in all its "glory" and a very bad idea.

We've both become better people since breaking up. And no, I'd never want to date him again.

-DaughterEarth

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