People Who Allegedly Got 'Hypnotized' Share What Actually Happened.

I've never been under hypnosis cause the mere thought of being in a trace and left under someone else's control gives me anxiety. Actually, it sounds a lot like being infatuated with someone and left under "cupid's spell" and that has only ever gotten folks in trouble. Oh, and I've also seen Jordan Peele's Get Out - so nope, I'll pass. But, I any of you believe in hypnotization?

AskReddit writers have generally shared that hypothesis results depend on whether or not one goes into the session willing to hypnotized.  They responded to the questions, "Have any Redditors been hypnotized? Was it a hoax or did it work?" and "People that have been hypnotized, what was your experience like?"

* raps* "Biggie, Biggie, Biggie can't you see - sometimes your words just hypnotize me..."  Peep the end of the article if you are interested in reading more responses from the original AskReddit threads. 

I've been hypnotized several times. I'm what they call a "highly suggestible person". The first time I was hypnotized, I was at a high school show and the hypnotist performed a test on the audience to show you how suggestible you are. You close your eyes and hold both of your arms straight out in front of you, palm side down. Then he starts his soothing mystic voice and tells you that you have a brick tied to your left hand and a helium balloon tied to your right. After a few seconds, everyone opens their eyes. The more suggestible/susceptible to hypnosis you are, the further apart your hands would be.


My aunt was a smoker for 32 years with no intentions to quit smoking. Her friend asked her to go see a "quit smoking hypnotist" with her, which she reluctantly agreed to. After they left my aunt who had no intentions and wasn't buying into the whole hypnotism thing never smoked again. Her friend who wanted to quit and believed it would work kept smoking.


This was not me but a very close friend of mine. We went to the fair and they had a Hypnotism Act.

Unless my friend is the most sneaky secretive person and I had no idea this was not staged at all. When he asked who wanted to be brought up to the stage I pretty much jumped on my seat and told him to pick her, sure enough, he did.

They brought up about 10 people did all their little tricks, even made her think that she won the lottery. She was crying on stage and told everyone that she actually lost her job that day and that this was a gift from God, the entire audience cringed.

After it was all said and done and we asked her what happened she just said she remembers all of it like you would remember a dream. You think back telling yourself obviously that was not real but in the moment it felt as real as it gets.


Like most people, I had a hypnotist as entertainment at one of my high school after-proms. The hypnotist had all of the subjects reverse their shoes sometime during the show. After the show, one of the girls who was just hypnotized sat next to a bunch of us, with her shoes still on the wrong feet. We were all trying to convince her that her shoes were on incorrectly and she, at first, refused to believe us. Then the more we pressed her about it, the more scared she became. She was so confused about what was happening that she was tearing up and asking us if she should switch them. All of the subjects eventually remembered the events that happened during the hypnotism though so it wasn't permanent.


I was hypnotized a couple of years ago. It definitely was not fake however it was not as if my mind was being controlled.

I felt incredibly relaxed. Whenever the hypnotist said to do something I never felt forced but it was more of an "obviously I'm going to do that right now" even for incredibly ridiculous things.

One part that stands out in my mind is he told all of the participants that on the count of three we would look down and realize we were completely naked. When he hit three I remember looking down and then looking up to the large crowd watching me feeling incredibly embarrassed and ran behind the curtain that was near me. My friend who was also being hypnotized, and is a lot more confident in himself got a huge grin on his face, put his hands on his hips and seemed incredibly proud of himself.


We had a hypnotist at our senior night after we graduated from high school. Our whole senior class watched the 5 volunteers go up on stage, and I guess he also tried to hypnotize the audience as well to see who was susceptible and to get more volunteers. A few more people "went under", but one girl started to freak. I guess when he told us to think about going deeper down a hole she thought she was under water so she started to hold her breath and wouldn't wake up. It got real for about 5 minutes until he was able to snap her out of whatever she was doing. Not sure if she was just doing it for attention, but her lips started to turn blue so it was pretty scary. She was fine, but the dude stayed like an hour after his show was done just to make sure that she wouldn't fall back into whatever he did.


Back about 26 yrs ago I was hurting pretty bad 24/7 after I had broken my back and it had taken the Ankylosing Spondylitis I already had and made everything worse. Pain meds were not helping. My doctor suggested Pain Management through BioFeedBack. I agreed to try it, hell I had nothing to lose and did not want to spend my life on pain meds that didn't work. In BioFeedBack a trained pain psychologist starts by hypnotizing you. Mine was very good and highly respected, but she could not hypnotize me. What she was able to do was teach me self-hypnosis and how to bring the level of pain down to a tolerable level. It works for me with many types of pain and health issues. For the past 1 1/2 years I've been dealing with peripheral neuropathy and it isn't helping with that type of pain. But neither are the pain meds. What seems to help the most is mental stimulation. Things that encourage me to think and interact. PC RPG games work nicely for that, as do public forums on the computer. Also helpful is when weather allows and I can go outside and work in the garden or in my wood shop. But if the weather is too hot, too cold or heavy rain then that option isn't open to me. Today is hot, humid and raining. So today, writing is helping me manage my pain.


I was hypnotized on a cruise the end of last year. It was really quite bizarre. It was a group hypnosis and the hypnotist explained how not everyone would go under, so he did quite a few exercises to sort out those who could from those who couldn't and removed the people that couldn't be hypnotized. I wasn't as deeply under as some people were so I remember bits and pieces of him getting us to do silly things. You're completely aware of everything too, but you just have this urge/need to do what he says. Obviously, you're not going to do something you are not willing to do but everything he was saying was just fun things so it was fine.
Would be interesting to see what a one on one would be like.


Not me, but my brother went to a hypnotism show, was asked to come on stage and proceeded to spend the next 10 minutes furiously looking for his behind as he had dropped it somewhere in the crowd. Funniest. Thing. Ever.


I worked as a hypnotist for several years at state fairs and different events. Learned the art from my grandfather. I can assure you it is not a hoax. It's all the power of suggestion. We do a series of tests on volunteers to be sure they are open to these suggestions before beginning the hypnotism. There are, of course, certain things that people will not do no matter how deeply entranced they are. Source: I've tried.


Wow, I was hypnotized in high school when one came to our school and well, power of suggestion is a really good way to put it. I was definitely in a trance and I always thought of it like my Superego was non existant. Like I sort of knew what I was doing but the social fear of doing embarrassing things in front of my classmates was completely gone.

One thing that convinced me was that the hypnotist singled me out, brought me to the front of the stage and told me to stare out at a light in the audience about fifty feet out. While I was staring he came up behind me, tapped me on the head, and shouted "Asleep!" and whole body went limp and he caught me. I am balls sure if he didn't catch me I was falling to the floor real hard.


I was picked to be on stage. I remained after the hypnotist culled certain people from the crowd.

It had no effect on me. I went along because I wanted to belong (I was 16). I didn't want to look stupid, so I acted stupidly. But, again it didn't work on me.

It's made me inherently suspicious about all hypnotists. What prevents me from disbelieving is the girl next to me. The quietest door-mouse from my high school, giving the most enthusiastic dance maneuvers on stage and having some very strange issues sitting still until the hypnotist whispered in her ear. She was embarrassed about it for years afterward.


I went to an x rated hypnotist show at university about ten years ago. One of the more skeptical guys I knew at the time was hypnotized. I guess my friend was still susceptible somehow?

At first, I thought he was faking it to mess with the hypnotist but he ended up doing some pretty wild and ridiculous things that there is absolutely no way he would have done otherwise.

He didn't remember any of it, but luckily it was filmed. He was actually pretty angry when he watched that video later.


We had a hypnotist at our school one day, he got a volunteer who had done it before and had him smell two colognes. One was sweet smelling and the other was actually a smelling salt. He said that the sweet cologne would smell like vinegar (the guy now hypnotized) and without telling him it was supposed to be sweet said it smelled if vinegar. He then told him the next cologne, actually a smelling salt, would be very sweet and flowery smell. He took a large whiff of the smelling salt and loved the smell of it. He then told him to wake up and smell it again and he could hardly smell it because it was so strong. If you have ever sniffed a smelling salt package you would know you couldn't take a huge whiff of it. It was amazing. 


I was "hypnotized" at a medieval fair one time. Some magician made me close my eyes, said something spooky or magical and then claimed that I would obey his every command. Obviously, this charade had no effect on me. But when he instructed me to raise my hands above my head (and whatever other basic stuff he told me to do to prove that I was under his hypnotic spell) I just played along.

Honestly, I felt bad for the guy. It must suck being a carnival magician for a living. The last thing he needs is an audience which thinks he blows at it.

After the hypnotism, he shook my hand and thanked me quite emphatically, almost like he knew I did him a favor and saved him from the embarrassment of not being able to hypnotize another audience participant.


At my class's senior party, the hypnotist told one of the kids he was a Japanese emperor. The first thing that happened was his hands shot up to his eyes so he could do the whole racist "squinty-eyed Asian" thing. The hypnotist quickly got him to stop doing that. 


I was at an all-night party in high school and a hypnotist came in to entertain. He convinced one of the hypnotized kids that he could only speak Chinese and that everyone in the audience was laughing at him. The kid took the microphone from him and started yelling nonsense at the crowd with an extremely serious face. It was absolutely hilarious.

So yeah you can embarrass yourself pretty badly when you're under.


My sister got hypnotized when we went to Hawaii for vacation, (haha) but she acted a bit funny for like the rest of the night and went back to being her normal self the next day.


Oh god.

I was hypnotized on a cruise ship a few years ago and ended up trying to masturbate on stage.

That's not what the host wanted me to do, either.

I can't really remember what happened in detail, I remember being a bit drunk, being almost pushed on stage by my family and then sitting down, aware I was on stage in front of loads of people. I remember closing my eyes and hearing the guys normal hypnotist chanting thing and then...

It was like no-one was there. I was alone. Still on stage, but extremely horny. I remember thinking "Well if no one's here..." and getting out my Homie when I suddenly 'snapped out of it' to laughter and horror.


At my old university, they did a group hypnotism and participants were told they were the only clothed ones and the whole audience was naked. Some of the girls made really disgusted faces at the audience but I remember one guy who got a wide smile and also developed a pretty obvious erection that you could see pushing up in his shorts. . . which the entire audience noticed. We went hysterical. 


I was hypnotized once and I remember it all. Inhibitions are gone, like being drunk without the spins. Maybe more like taking a valium? You feel like you're in that dreamy state between awake and asleep and everything the hypnotist says sounds like a lot of fun. I remember thinking, if I wanted to, I could stop but he's asking me to dance and I LOVE DANCING.


A few years ago, I was hypnotized. My sisters and I went to see a hypnotist at the Sheraton and I volunteered to be on stage. The experience was really interesting.

The hypnotist tells you that you can only be hypnotized if you want to be, and I believe this. There is a sort of cooperation going on between the hypnotist and the hypnotized. You are conscious of what's going on, but the hypnotist guides you into such a state of relaxation that you are able and willing to follow his instructions for the good of the show.

The hypnotist puts each person on stage through various positions and situations with hilarious results. In my experience, I was fully aware of all the stuff I was doing, but in my mind, I was like, "Heck, why not?" It's like the hypnotist ALLOWS that part of you that wants to perform and make a total fool of yourself onstage. It's fun.

Another fun part was barking like a dog. When the hypnotist said some command phrase, I was supposed to bark like a dog and run around the room on all fours. The best performance of this was when the act was over and everyone was filing out of the room. The hypnotist came back on stage, gave the command phrase, and I ran all over the place, darting in and out of the line to get out. Hilarious! Again, totally aware I was doing it, but the hypnotic state allowed me to act on the command phrase with no sense of embarrassment or shyness. It felt liberating in a way. And when the hypnotist gives the 2nd command phrase to STOP barking like a dog, you stand there with this blank look on your face like, "what the hell just happened?" This isn't really what's going through your mind. What's going through your mind is, "okay, I'm just following orders. What's my next one? Ignore the crowd who's laughing at you, they don't matter. Only the next command matters."

Then after the show, people ask you what it was like and you shrug and say, "It was fun." It really is hard to describe to people who weren't on stage.


I was hypnotized when I was 12. I remember coming out of it on stage but he put me back under. I sang the Spice Girls.

Right before the end of the show, he said "I'm going to remove all previous suggestions, except this one. You will never drink and drive. You'll never get in a car drunk.".

I can't say if it worked or not but I never learned to drive so maybe I didn't hear the "drink" part.



Source 1Source 2

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.