People Who Attended A Wedding Where Someone Objected Reveal What Happened Next.

People who attended a wedding that was "objected" by someone were asked: "How did the wedding turn out?" These are some of the best answers.

Anyway, the marriage ceremony was underway, and right when they got to the end part, his brother Doug showed up blasting "What Is Love" out of a ghetto blaster and, needless to say, Steve didn't end up getting married that night.

It was pretty messed up, his dad already paid the caterer.


2/20 So I'm attending this ultra chill beach wedding in small town Canada, I don't know most anyone because it was my ex-step-aunts, so my brothers family I never see . It was fun anyways, the bride flew in on a seaplane and all the chairs were set up on the sand.

Anyways, the groom is from Trinidad and Tobago, so all his relatives traveled a long way and had cool accents, there was a party before; we were all a little bit tipsy.

So as the ceremony progresses, everyone is watching, gettin' teary from the vows. Then the line comes '....any reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony speak now.'

Nobody expected this; The father of the groom gets up, flailing, and a collective gasp followed by silence overtakes this tiny venue. We're all waiting with baited breath but, he's just standing there with glassy eyes. Turns out he was baked; this 70+ man in a suit and dreads laughs and says 'No, I kid, I kid' and the whole spirit of the audience cheers up as he sits back down.

Rest of the reception, people are going up to him saying 'good one' or scolding him. Damn good night. Best wedding I've been to.


3/20 I was performing the ceremony. I ask the question as a part of the liturgy, and a guy gets up after the question and says, "Yeah, I object. That's my wife."

Bride's mother is the only one to speak, and she says, "Who is that? AARON?!"

Sensing that something was amiss, I say, very calmly, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats while we conclude this." I pull the guy aside, and he claims that they got married at 18, she abandoned him and they never divorced. He had been trying to get a hold of her, and he actually told her that if she didn't at least get a legal divorce, he would show up at her wedding. She had just ignored it like it would just go away, never returned a call - basically just walked out at age 19, never returned. (Bride was near 30.)

So I ask the bride to step aside, with her parents. They say, "You never divorced him?" I'm in panic mode as I don't know what to do. If she was still married, I couldn't marry them. The groom comes over, ready to fight - me, the husband, anybody.

Complete disaster. Wedding was cancelled. They married a year later after the divorce went through, in a small private ceremony. And here's the kicker: 2 years later she just walked out on him.


4/20 I didn't have a traditional church wedding, but my husband's mother showed up at the courthouse to yell one last time about how I probably have STIs (because I wasn't a virgin), how I'd never belong in the family (we're different races), and how we were rushing things (we'd been best friends for 13 years before being 'together').

I haven't spoken to her since; he's spoken to her twice since, both times to tell her she's not welcome in our lives until she apologizes.


5/20 Back in the late nineties I was invited to the wedding of a guy I was in the army with. He married his girlfriend from Uni in his southern (Italian speaking) swiss Hometown-Church, all very traditional.

During the ceremony a girl crashes through the door, obviously drunk as hell, and starts cursing in Italian that the bride can not get married in white in a church as she is not a virgin and is not "pure." The whole audience is stunned and waits for the reaction of the couple or someone in general. Suddenly the groom's mother stands up and screams at her in the most vicious voice I ever heard "Manuela, shut up, everyone knows you take it up the [butt]!"

I've been told that the girl was the grooms high school girlfriend but he left her as she wanted to wait till marriage...


6/20 The best line I've ever heard an officiant say is "if anyone has any objections to why these two should not be married, now is not the time. You had years leading up to this point, but please find me after the wedding because I love gossip."


7/20 My dad's seen an objection - he volunteers at a church. The bride and groom were siblings, and their father hadn't told them until he objected (I believe he was estranged to both of them). They already had a kid apparently.


8/20 My prof from a religious studies course was a priest and officiated weddings from time to time. During one wedding that he was officiating their was a objection.

The objectee stood up announced his name and title. I turns out he was some sort of European royalty. The crowd gasped and the minister swore he could hear the brides father swear under his breath. Baron said that he objected to the marriage because he had "grave moral concern" for the couples future well being. He claimed the groom was a "self abuser" and the bride was "far too fair for one such as he [the groom]". Baron then challenged the soon to be groom to a duel and charged the altar. They both produced swords and the groom to be defended his honor by slaying Baron insert_name in front of the gathered crowd. The somewhat befuddled priest walked over and blessed the corpse to ensure safe passage to the here-after then continued the wedding without missing a beat.

The kicker is that the priest did know that the wedding was for a group of people heavily involved in The Society for Creative Anachronism but didn't know about the "surprise" objection. Thankfully, he has a great sense of humor and loved the unique flavor of the wedding.


9/20 My father comes from a deeply Irish-Catholic family, literally in the history of my family no one has every married someone who was not Irish and Catholic until my mother. My mother is a Polish-German Protestant. This did not sit well with my granny (my father's mother). My father's father, loved my mother, and never had a problem with them getting married.

Day of the weeding: My granny says that she is allergic to dogs (she is not, but hates them so she says that she is allergic). While inside of the church, she says that because everyone has dog hair on them, she is having an allergic reaction (btw she wasn't puffy, swelling, having a hard time breathing). She insists that she must go to the hospital right now. She take my father (the groom) and my MOTHER'S father with her to the hospital. She left her own husband behind. She took the two people necessary to have the wedding. Oh and this happened 30 minutes before it was supposed to start. My granny goes to the hospital, the doctors tell her she isn't having a reaction, and they come back.

They did get married, and I am here. She is still pissed that I exist since I was raised Protestant and technically my parents, in her eyes were never married because it was in a Protestant church.


10/20 My mother in law objected our wedding. She never approved of our relationship as I am white and she's Black. Through out our relationship she tried hooking her up with Black men. She claimed she finally "came around" and helped us plan the wedding. Then proceeded to not pay for anything leaving the bill on us and my parents which was well over our budget. In retrospective we should have seen this coming with her history. She scheduled surgery for the day of our wedding, then canceled without saying anything and showed up during the ceremony. She stood up during the objection part and was told very loudly to sit down by my father in law. Our paster didn't even skip a beat he just kept going.


11/20 At my uncle's wedding a dog started going [wild] and barked right after the "forever hold your peace" line.

The marriage ended up being a huge mess, only lasted a year or so. Darby knew what was up.


12/20 Apparently both me and my sister protested my uncle getting remarried. We were both very young. Think toddlers teetering down the isle as flower girls that look like they are gonna biff it at any moment. We both got the same message while the priest was talking about them "giving". We both thought uncle was being given away like a present and that we would never see him again, so we both started bawling. Words were still not a thing for me, but my sister managed to articulate something along the lines of "No, I don't want to give away Uncle Bill. He didn't do anything bad."

Thankfully my uncle and new auntie were very understanding and found the whole thing adorable. They are still married, 25 years later.


13/20 I was at a friend's sister's wedding; it was a really traditional Christian ceremony in a big church. When the minister asked if anyone objected, some guy stood up and screamed something along the lines of "You've ruined my life Amy. My heart will never mend, and on your honeymoon I hope you think about the sentence of solitude your actions have put on my life." Then the guy stormed out, but here's the thing: no one knew who he was. My friend's sister is called Harriet.


14/20 I was probably 13 or 14 at the time so forgive me if the details aren't all that sharp. My sister was getting married up on a mountain near Telluride at the end of the summer. It was a beautiful evening, a beautiful ceremony in general. My sister and her (then) fiance had a dog, we'll call him Badger, and they took him everywhere--if they didn't he destroyed everything. Badger wasn't just any dog, he was huge--part rottweiler, part boxer, part some other big dog--he must have weighed 150-200 lbs. When it got to the "Speak now..." part, or some variation thereof, Badger let out the most perfectly-timed, earth-shaking, thunderclap of a bark you can imagine. Following a brief moment of shocked silence everyone in attendance burst into a gale of laughter that went on for a good couple of minutes--a number of people, my sister included, were in tears by the end of it.

My brother-in-law has always insisted that the best man must have grabbed Badger's balls or something right then, trickster that he is.


15/20 A friend of mine was getting married to this girl no one liked. His younger brother Kyle was the best man. Mutual friend Ryan and myself were two of the three groomsmen and the last groomsman was the girlfriend's brother. Kyle, Ryan and I actually spent the hour(s) leading up to the wedding trying to talk the groom out of the wedding and also drinking a liter of whiskey in one of the back rooms of the church. By the time the ceremony started Kyle, Ryan and I were all pretty inebriated.

As the objection part came up, Kyle stepped forward and stated loudly that he objected. There were collective gasps and no one really knew what the hell was happening. Kyle stepped up and put his arm around his brother's neck, pulled him to the side, and they proceeded to have a 10 minute conversation (which later we found out Kyle had left his truck running in the alley, right outside the back door and was trying to convince his brother to bail right then and there). After the conversation with his brother, Kyle stepped over to the bride and pulled her aside. After a five minute conversation he pulled them closer, had one arm around each and they were whispering in a huddle. Finally Kyle stepped back, resumed his spot and loudly stated, "Let em get married I guess." There was audible sighs of relief after what seemed an hour of tension and the wedding went on without any other problems. Still laugh about that.


16/20 So, funny story about my dad objecting at a wedding.

This was about ten years ago, and my dad and his buddy got really drunk at our house one Saturday afternoon, then decided to go cruising in my dad's truck (like responsible adults). A few blocks from the house there is a really popular outdoor wedding venue, and as they drove by, a wedding was occurring. They slowed to a crawl to creep on the nuptials, and as the minister got to the "Any objections?" bit, my dad leaned really far out the window and screamed, "YEAH BUDDY, THE BRIDE IS A WHORE!" then cackled and drove off.

Fast forward about a year, and dad is at the neighborhood gas station. He parks at the same time as this other guy, who gives him a weird look and follows him in. As dad collects his miscellaneous [stuff] from around the store, the guy is still staring at him. Dad pays, the dude follows him out, and asks if he'd interrupted a wedding at X venue about a year earlier, described the encounter, yadda ya. Dad sheepishly admits to it and apologizes. The guy said he recognized the truck and asked if my dad knew something he didn't. My dad said he was just drunk, and the guy informed him that he found out about a month after the wedding his bride had been [screwing] his best man for months up to the wedding. Then thanked my dad.


17/20 Was at my bosses daughters wedding. Her ex stood up right as the minister said the whole "If any object, speak now..." and professed how in love he still is with her.

Then the bride goes off on a rant about how bad he treated her and how he used to beat her and make her feel worthless. Two guys got up from the back row and dragged him away as he was crying.


18/20 My husband and I got married in Jamaica. The Jamaican wedding ceremony is very long and the minister really focused on the whole "if there is any reason why this couple, ANY reason at all..." and then paused for (I kid you not) 30 seconds.

My sister-in-law was standing up for me and there was a raised altar area, so her 2-year-old son was down below. Right at that moment, he decided he had enough and started screaming at the top of his lungs "No-o-o-o-o-o-O-O-O-O!!!!!!!!! Everyone was shocked for a moment, and then when they realized who had objected, they started laughing.

Later on, the wedding photographer got a picture of her on stage with my nephew holding her hand, standing behind a potted plant. It was so cute! He just graduated from college. I should send that photo to him.


19/20 The person didn't say "I object."

But, when the minister said, "Does anyone know any reason whatsoever why this man and this woman may not be lawfully wedded?" a person in attendance said, "Yes, I know a reason - she's still married to another man."

Turns out he was accurate. The bride-to-be had been married before, and thought her divorce in California was over. But some snag in the legal process prevented it from becoming final - so legally, she was still married to another man.

At that point, the minister announced that the ceremony could not be completed until the matter was resolved. It was among the most awkward moments I've ever witnessed.


20/20 Yeah, my cousins dad is a [jerk]. He showed up to his ex wife's sister's funeral to scream at his ex wife and daughter. He was forcibly removed from the church by the deceased's husband and son.

So when this guy showed up at his daughters wedding, you can probably guess how it went down. We were all actually super surprised how well behaved he was. Then the priest said "If anyone has any reason that-"


Audible groans happened. A few of my uncles got up to remove the guy from the church. He kept screaming profanities the whole time.


Sources: 1, 2, 3

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.