People Who Auditioned for Televised Talent Shows Share What Happened Backstage.

We all secretly wish we could take the world by storm and win on American Idol, Britain's Got Talent, or Dave's Bedroom Extravaganza. (Okay, that last one is just me singing in front of a full-length mirror.) Unfortunately, not everyone can make it to the TV round. 

Here are some stories from folks who auditioned or worked for these talent shows. The stories come from reddit users, and you can check out more stories from the source at the end of this article.

I worked for America's Got Talent in San Antonio, and one of the people who worked full-time on the staff told me that those who just show up to audition have almost 0 chance of actually making it in front of the judges. There is a preliminary round that is not filmed for TV where thousands of people show up, and pretty much all the ones that make it through to the TV rounds are people that the show reaches out to themselves. It's mostly people they discover on Youtube. People who just show up randomly have like a 1/1,000 chance of even making it into what people viewing at home think of as the "first round."


High school, 7 years ago. There was this guy in my year who everybody liked. We'll call him Tom.

Tom loved to sing. Every memory I have of this guy is singing when we are supposed to be quiet in class or when the teachers was absent for a few minutes. He was a pretty decent singer from what I remember. One day before class started, he announced that he was going to audition for X-factor on Wednesday. Everybody was hyped and we all knew he was going to bootcamp. Thursday he tells us that he audition for a 'pre-jury' and it wasn't recorded. It was with two producers and one music producer/manager. He sang Make You Feel My Love by Adele which I know he can sing amazingly. They told him that that was great and wanted to hear him sing Listen by Beyonce with a little umpfh. Basically over the top. Tom did and he was terrible. He couldn't hit the high notes, was off key sometimes. He was surprised when they said he was great. They said things as: It wasn't good but raw and that is what X-factor is all aboutYou are like a diamond that needs to be polishedYou got that it.

They made a deal with him that they'll let him pass to the real audition on Friday if he did Listen again. Tom agreed. He was very worried and did Adele again in front of the real jury. They cut him off and a different producer pulled Tom to the side. The producer told him that he was supposed to sing Listen. He didn't want to do that song, so they told him that he will get disqualified if he didn't do the song they wanted him to do. He said no and he had to leave. Tom said he knew that they just wanted to humiliate him because while he was waiting for his turn, he met some nice but terrible singers that were told they were great by the producers. Basically everybody gets told they are great and they make these deals or give you 'advice' how to pass the auditions, however they set them up to fail and get laughed at in front of the real jury.


There are big differences between countries, also between different shows.

Probably most I can say is common knowledge, but ok.

  • The role of the jury is probably the most fake of the show. Their roles are scripted, their choices are the choices of a group of producers/editors. That's where they have numerous meetings about, and the stage jury is only involved in the final stage.

  • Of course there's a lot of typecasting involved. The show knows they want to end up with the old rocker, the emo kid, the 17yo female-former-youtuber, the gay girl/boy, the handsome boy-next-door, and so on. In the final episodes, of course there needs to be a balance between young-old, man-women, pop-(more)alternative.

  • Licensing the song is always quite interesting. For the biggest part, contestants who passed the auditions can't sing whatever they want. It has to fit the narrative, and for the biggest part they have to choose songs from a list of pre-licensed songs. F.i. songs from The Beatles won't be licensed at all. As far as I know the same goes for Bob Dylan and Michael Jackson songs.


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I had a friend a while ago go and audition for one (I think it was America's Got Talent, not sure though), and he was a very, very good singer.

Anyway, he went and auditioned, and went through some stuff, and they told him that, while he was good, but they usually take people that are either absolutely amazing, or absolutely terrible, and he didn't fit into either of those categories.


My wife auditioned for American Idol. She said it was just a massive line to get in, and when it's your turn to sing, you have only a few seconds before they shuffle you out. First impressions are absolutely everything.


A long time ago, when reality TV was still new, I auditioned to be on the second season of American Idol in New York City. I was told at the audition after not sleeping for two days so that I could wait in the line that I had an exceptional voice but that New York was already booked solid so I should travel to one of the smaller auditions and do it all over again, and that they'd be willing to film me for that. I politely turned them down because I had a job and bills and responsibilities so I was never on the show.

Not long after that, I auditioned for a show called Fame! That only lasted for one season and was looking for a triple threat. I was actually on the first three episodes of this show (which I didn't know about, family who saw the show called and yelled at me for not telling them I was on tv!) but I didn't make it very far because the show was completely set up and halfway through the season they brought an actual broadway person into the competition and unsurprisingly, that person won. I don't even watch reality tv anymore because of these experiences.


Not me but a friend of mine, and I imagine it's common knowledge, but I wasn't certain until I heard it first hand.

My friend was a decent singer, good enough that she earns a living singing. She applied and got turned down from X Factor. Didn't even get through to see the judges you see on TV.

That means when the really bad people are on the show, they are selected because they are bad. For laughs. Feels pretty mean spirited to put people up on a stage to laugh at them. I haven't watched anything like that since then.


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I was invited on Britain's Got Talent as the producers had been scouting and heard of my talent.

I am a martial artist and tricker who spent 3 years on the same team as the famous "Jessie Jane Mcparland" or as we called her JJ Golden Dragon, whose big break came from BGT.

The production team got in touch in November 2015 and assigned us a contact on the team "Sophie". We were offered myself and my performance partner the chance to skip two stages (1 to 1 and local audition) and go straight through to the television audition stage. So we arranged it, they asked for the act we would perform on video. I sent it, they said it would work great however to surprise the audience we need to change what we wear to make us look like singers, so band tees and skinny jeans. So we went and bought some (I do not like skinny jeans, they don't work with big quads AT ALL). We re-recorded the performance and sent it in.

Then we were asked to fill in the audition questionnaire and contract. Questions included: What is your current relationship status? What was your upbringing? What's your current relationship with your parents? Have you suffered any losses in family and or friends recently?
Filled in and sent off, our contact on the production team "Sophie" said everything is fine however my performance partner listed his relationship status as in a relationship and this is not acceptable for the stage personas we need, when we are on the show we must announce we are both single to attract the biggest female audience. No problem we can do that.

A month later during mid-December we receive an email telling us our act is no longer good enough, it needs changing or we will not be allowed on the show. This being the middle of December and the audition being January 11th. Reworking the performance is impossible due to my performance partner being out of the country and no gyms being open until the week before.

We explained this to "Sophie" that it would not really be possible to rework the performance as there was not enough time nor was my counterpart in the country, we heard nothing until the day before the audition when we received an email from "Sophie" saying our audition will not go ahead as it is not adequate and we should get back in touch next year. She was very apologetic and explained that the production team higher ups are very unreasonable sometimes and expect the impossible, usually acts are given 6 months to prepare and rework however we were only given 1 month.

So a year goes by and good old "Sophie" gets back in touch and mentions our names are still on the list should we want to apply, now missing only one stage the 1 to 1 audition and going to local audtion instead of skipping both. I politely declined.

I have since found out that a dozen or so of my peers have been approached in the same manner and have had similar experiences. 10/10 not reccomended.

To summarise, what you see on television is often at times planned months in advance by the production team, down to minor details such as individuals reasons for being on the show and even their relationship status.


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I tried out for the X-Factor US Season 3 when I was in 8th grade. We went the to a hockey stadium where they held the auditions, and before they let us in the stadium, they made us walk around aimlessly and then stand in fences like a herd of cattle while they filmed the overhead shots of all of the people that you see in the auditions. After that, you went inside, they checked you in, and you got a ticket of where to sit. I was on the lower level in like section 13 or something. They called you down, section by section, where you went into another line where the ice would be. I was in the 1st level, and auditioned at dinner time. (Everyone had arrived at 6am for the most part.) I have no idea how long the people in the nosebleeds waited.

After you waited in the line on the ice area, you were put in another line, where you waited for an audition with an individual judge in a 3 sided box with black cloth curtains and pvc piping. It almost looked like a 3 sided shower curtain. In there, they ask you a few basic questions, and then subtly ask if you have a sob story. I sang, and my judge was really nice to me at first, but unfortunately I did not get through. I went to shake her hand after to thank her for her time, and she refused (probably because of a policy, I'm not sure honestly).

If you made it through, they give you a golden ticket and you go through exit 1 for more rounds of auditions. If you do not make it through, they cut your wristband, and send you through exit 2. I spent around 10 hours watching people in these boxes, and there were definitely some boxes where nobody made it through to the next round. It could be rigged, it might just be luck of the draw, but there were absolutely tents where nobody left through exit 1.


My then bf and me attended an audition for Deal or No Deal when it was the height of its popularity. Here's a summarized version how it went.

  • Was in line for 8 hours. Only water was given out so me and bf had to alternate to get fastfood take out to eat while holding our spot in line. It wasn't fun.

  • One of the coordinators will come out every now and then to do interviews or rally up the crowd. Not in my line (there were at least 6 sections) but a another section got the whole TV interview and that shot you would see like in AGT where people are waving at the camera from the audition line, which the coordinator instructs the people how to act.

  • They pick people who are LOUD and outrageous/quirky. There was this guy that was in front of me that was the perfect Deal or no Deal contestant type personality. Lots of " WHOOOOOO-ing" super preppy and the coordinators kept an eye on him the whole time. Also we were told that we would be asked a question "Craziest thing you have done." So you literally got picked on the story you tell and how you tell it.

  • Needless to say, I wasn't picked. My BF nearly got picked- he was competing with Mr. Preppy guy in front of us. In the end Mr. Preppy guy got into the 2nd round of auditions and evals.

  • While in line I saw a few people who I later saw on TV a few months later on AGT. They are serial auditioners- they just audition on everything & everywhere till they get a spot. One lady got a masterful 3X's from the judges from AGT. I saw her a year later at a local county fair...auditioning.


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At the encouragement of numerous friends and family members, I've auditioned for American Idol, X Factor, the Voice twice, and America's got Talent.

There are several rounds prior to even getting on tv where you have to audition for producers of the show. You have to remember, they're in the business of getting ratings, not making pop stars. And it's mostly a cattle call, so you can't be like everybody else if you want to get picked. You have to stand out to get noticed.


A friend of mine got through to the bootcamp stage (I think that's what it was/is called - never watched the show) of X Factor and did pretty well. He was talented and was a little different but for whatever reason one of the TV judges took a dislike to him and this made things a million times more difficult for my friend. Also, behind the scenes and between takes there was a team who worked for the show whose specific job was to make people cry. Literally they would go round and ask horrible questions and put people down to make good TV. Really not a job for nice people.


I auditioned for American Idol in Portland back in 2011. Stood in line for hours with a friend--HOURS--then sang Modest Mouse's "All Float On" for like 3 hours once filed into the Rose Bowl Stadium while they took take after take. Finally, after 8+ hours of sheer nonsense, they started lining us up. The stage floor was sectioned off into 6(?) areas (that weren't enclosed or anything) and were told to get into groups of 4 to audition for 2 producers per sectioned area. You stand in a row with your group while being auctioned off one group at a time to the next pair of producers waiting. Can confirm it was a vocal meat market.

Once in front of producers, you are asked to step forward and sing 30 seconds of your selected song. Myself and another got moved forward. Same as before but in a different area, sing in small groups of 4 for 30 seconds in front of more bored and stressed producers .

Get to 2nd group of producers, am the last to sing. After finishing, all 4 of us were thanked but they declined to move us forward. As I'm leaving with the other three, motioned by a producer to wait up.

Producer: "Hey, you're an awesome singer, but unfortunately you're not what we're looking for this season, I'm really sorry. But come back next year and audition!"

Me: "Well what are you looking for?"

Producer: "We're looking for someone with no character so America can see them morph into their American Idol. But come back and audition!"

I don't know what I was expecting. Cool experience for the novelty though!

Worth noting as I walked away, someone in a full Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunk costume was serenely walking toward the door for round 3...


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A friend of a friend is in a semi-professional dance group who have done some decent shows over the years. They were paid to go on a talent show by the show's producers. They didn't even make it to the semi finals, because it wasn't part of the producer's plan for them to get far. It just shows how scripted and fake these talent shows are.

Show: Britain's Got Talent

I tried out for a singing show, and was told I was great but they had put too many blonde girls through. So I was sent home. No big deal, I knew my chances were slim.


A friend of ours was on one of those shows, and once he got to a certain level, they had him change his email, phone number, everything. He was removed from his normal circles, and we haven't heard a word from him since, besides what we read about him or see on the interwebs. Kind of a bummer, really. We really liked him.


My wife and I auditioned for the Newlywed game.

They basically prioritized all the attractive people for who would get on the show.

I was also shocked how bad the other couples were at playing the game. My wife had never even seen the show before and we aced the audition practice questions.

I was honored that we were their first choice cause I guess that meant we looked better than the other couples (not a high bar).

We ended up passing on it though cause they had to film it during tax season for my wife and she was working 60 hour weeks and could not take time off.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.