People Who Divorced After Less Than A Year Share How Their Marriage Fell Apart.
Everybody makes mistake, but one of the biggest one can make is deciding to marry the wrong person. Sometimes people only show their true colors once the marriage license has been signed...
Here are stories of marriages that ended in divorce much sooner than planned.
Many thanks to the Reddit user who posed this question and to those who responded. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!
1/17. A friend of mine from HS got married and divorced within 3 months. I remember going to her wedding and watching her cry while walking down the aisle and while saying her vows. We all cried too because we thought it was so sweet and romantic.
Later she admitted that she was crying because she knew she was making a huge mistake, and saying the vows really scared her. I think she just wanted to get married and got carried away with wedding planning. She's also not very emotionally mature, even now in her 30's.
2/17. My dad married a woman (His 3rd I think?) who, after three months, admitted that she married him for his health insurance. She moved in with her mother almost immediately after the wedding, and refused to talk to him until she had a hysterectomy and a lot of dental work.
3/17. Knew a guy who was about 30 that met a 17 year old girl from Kansas and started fooling around with her. After a couple months he got permission from her parents to marry her. His family showered him in gifts, I think he got 30k cash from his side of the family, all that fun stuff. She was 18 when they were married. These are the stories, as I heard them from him in order.
"The night of the wedding we were driving around, my best man was driving and I was shotgun and our wives were in the back and they started fooling around! It was amazing! Best night ever. Yeah, yeah I'm fine with her sleeping with women - I provide a different service."
Couple weeks later:
"I took her to amateur night at the STRIPCLUBNAME. She won. It's great to have a woman everyone wants, haha."
Couple weeks later:
"So we've gone to amateur night a few times and they offered her a job. It's awesome, she's making more than I am."
Couple weeks later:
"She doesn't always come home after her show. She parties with the other strippers or gets drunk or whatever and can't always drive home. No big deal, just so long as she's not getting into trouble."
Couple weeks later:
"She's been doing and dealing drugs. A lot of drugs. I filed the papers for divorce a week ago."
Total marriage time = 3 months.
4/17. She had been questioning things for a long time (like...6 months), wondering if she married the wrong person, but missed one important thing. Discussing it with me.
It was a long ending. A long, painful, and sad ending. I would not wish anyone to experience that.
5/17. The best explanation I've always had was that we moved in together when we should have broken up.
When it came to the really important things (being, to me, kids and religion) we were sorta on the same page, but never really talked about it in any real depth. Then, one summer, after we'd been together for a year, his chiropractor pinched a nerve in his neck, giving him a stroke.
After a few months of dealing with that whole mess, we had the extremely wrong attitude of "we've been through so much together already, we might as well get married!".
The wedding was planned in about a month, and within a few weeks (haha, right after some friends of ours got a surprise pregnancy) he decided we needed to start getting pregnant, too. That lasted a week before I had to put my foot down and tell him I wasn't ready for kids. Things went down hill from there.
Also, we were 20. There are smart 20 year olds out there, but we weren't among them.
6/17. My friend got married and divorced her husband about 6 months later. They had a great interesting dynamic sex life before the marriage, but afterwards he would barely touch her.
He said they weren't kids anymore, and that married responsible people don't "do that" (light BDSM etc. Nothing even that shocking).
She was begging him for sex once a week and he started resenting her for pressuring him for sex. He'd act like a Victorian waif forced to lie on his back and "think of England". He was pressuring her to get pregnant as well. Then he was fired for masturbating to porn while at work. She told him she couldn't live in a physical vacuum and since he wasn't meeting her needs that was that. It seems even more unfair, she was sold a bill of goods in a way since pre-marriage they had had a lot of fun.
7/17. I got married to a girl I met in high school about 6 years after we met. The marriage lasted 2 years and we had a beautiful daughter about 1 year in.
After we had our child she totally cut off physical relations. I would have to beg. She'd just lie there.
After a while I stopped asking and would just look at porn, and we grew more and more distant until she had an affair with a mutual friend. She tried to cover it up and said she wanted to 'move in with a female friend to get some space' when in reality she moved in with this guy. When I found out it was like my whole world collapsed...
8/17. My wife and I were married for just a little over a year, but we dated for over four. I thought everything was fine, and most everyone I ask says the same.
I have had back problems since before we were dating, but just after the wedding I started having major problems. I had to take lots of different medications for nerve pain, and eventually had surgery for it. I spent about three months bed-ridden and couldn't walk for about a month. (Good news is there was no permanent nerve damage, but I digress).
During this time I was a student so we had pretty decent financial support during all this, but there was some financial burdens as I was not working for the better part of the year after our wedding. I knew she was under a lot of stress, and she was unhappy with work, and was becoming depressed, but she just did not want to talk about it or get counselling, etc.
Then one day, about a month after I started walking normally again, she just started getting mean, distant, and all around verbally abusive. I knew something was up, but there was no way to get through to her to try to work on it.
I eventually figured out that she was cheating on me with one of our coworkers.
It hurt. I knew things were tough, but I never thought in a million years that she would bail when the things we were dealing with were all things that could have been avoided with good communication and honesty. It's really horrible to feel rejected by the one person you loved more than anything in the world at a time when you needed them the most.
Public Service Statement: If you are unhappy with your relationship, talk about it. It's a million times less damaging to end a relationship after talking about it than it is to smash someone's soul for selfish gains.
9/17. This happened to my sister. Husband inherited some money and dropped out of college and got back into drugs.
After he burned up all the inheritance (it was like 60K if memory serves), he started taking all her money and selling all their stuff to get drug money. I think they were married all of eight months.
10/17. Several years ago, I got married (couple of months after I had turned 18) and we moved to California a couple of months after that.
1st week we were there, I thought I may be knocked up and so I told him that if I was, I wanted an abortion (because I was 18 and we weren't even close to being fiscally responsible or mentally capable enough of raising a kid) and he FLIPPED. Told me that I wasn't allowed to get one, started saying things like, "If it was up to me, you wouldn't work or go to school. You'd stay in the house all day."
I immediately had an "Oh. No." moment and as soon as the opportunity presented itself, I bought a plane ticket back home.
11/17. My ex-husband and I ended it 9 months after our marriage. We were together for about 5 years before we got married. Our relationship was going bad, I got unexpectedly pregnant and we thought that would solve our problems. So we got married too (both come from pretty conservative families).
It was a mistake, our relationship got really bad, and we hated each other for creating a life we were just not ready for, and my husband, the father of my child, and someone I loved very dearly began to abuse me really horribly until I had enough. He wanted to keep it together a lot more than I did, even though he knew it wasn't right and it ended pretty badly.
Worst mistake of my life, but I learned a lot, and have a beautiful daughter as a result. Oh well.
12/17. My cousin was a weird 40+ something who, as far as the family could tell, never had a girlfriend. He smoked cigars and watched lazerdiscs and lived for free-ish in one of the units of the property the family owned, significantly lowering his mother's and my father's rental income (both halves of the family split it).
So he gets a girlfriend, which is a surprise. and in something less than a year later, they are getting married. Big wedding. Bel Air Hotel. Probably $100,000.
The wedding itself was... okay. Lots of stress going into it. His family paid the bill mostly, I think. After 40 years, he was getting married!
They go on the honeymoon, to Hawaii. I think maybe they had a new, post-wedding residence planned? Came home and went to their separate residences. Getting a divorce. Maybe she didn't know how weird and homebody and attached to ritual he was?
What an expensive mistake.
13/17. Just after a year if that counts: I couldn't trust her any more. We had been rocky off and on for quite a time. Months of small stuff became larger and larger and eventually it became a chore to be around her. Easier to buckle under any requests. Led to her fooling around with another woman, led to that woman moving in.
We got married thinking it would fix things. It didn't. I continued to trust her even after I caught her having phone sex with others, even after she made attempts to meet others. Still thought we could work it out. Went to marriage counselling.
Everything was my fault, I never listened. I couldn't understand what she was going through. I didn't understand how it felt to leave your family behind (we moved across the country so that I could support her fully and she didn't have to work.); what it's like to be disabled; what it's like to be her. On and on it went.
Not saying I was flawless, I had my faults; but I was loyal, honest, and I tried.
The third time she had phone sex with the same guy, and made plans to meet up, I decided it was enough. I shipped back home via grey hound the next day. The divorce was done later.
14/17. Lived together as man and wife for like four months. Been divorced now for about a year and a half.
I wish I could tell you why. We had an argument. Not even like a huge argument, just like a minor disagreement. No voices raised, nobody seemed hurt. I don't even remember what it was about. She got kind of broody about it and announced that she wanted out about a month later.
I tried and tried and tried to talk to her. I loved her, and I was perfectly content to spend the rest of my life with her, or so I thought. I did everything I could think of. No dice. She moved in with a guy from her work about a month after that, at which point I filed for divorce, once it became clear that she wasn't interested in making it work.
Which is weird enough, but now I find out that 1) she's trying for a baby with the guy she moved in with, and 2) they're getting married in about a month. See, doctors have told her her whole life that she's physically incapable of having kids, but she's always hoped. We talked about having kids all the time. I wasn't against it, but I wasn't in a hurry, either. She was in a hurry. She wanted to have them before she was 30, because 30 was like a doomsday clock in her mind. I figured we had a few years. Now I wonder, I really do. I knew kids were important to her, but it's possible that I underestimated HOW important.
Interesting trivia fact: if she marries the guy she left me for, that'll be three husbands in five years for her.
15/17. She cheated on me 7 times in four months.
16/17. My dad once told me a story about his friend Derrel. He asked Derrel if there was a point where he knew his marriage was going to fail.
Derrel says "We left for our honeymoon the day after our wedding. It was in Hawaii. We had a six hour drive to our hotel from the airport. Within the first 30 minutes of that drive I had already accepted that we were going to get a divorce, it was going to be an ugly one, and I would never marry again."
Apparently his wife is a backseat driver.
17/17. I was in denial that he was addicted to prescription meds. He lost his job and didn't really try to look for another one. Money kept going missing from the checking account. I must have "lost" my debit card. All he did was lay around and watch tv. This went on for several months. Told him either he had to leave or I would. We have been separated since Nov 2011. I filed for divorce January 2012. He refuses to sign the paperwork.
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"It wasn't me!"
There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked: