People Who Got Justice Served Share Their Best Petty Revenge Stories.
So rarely do our wishes for retribution get granted. Thankfully, Reddit is there to document it when it does. Here are some of the best petty revenge stories on Reddit.
1. Unintended, but satisfying.
So Saturday, she texts me to tell me that she had gotten engaged, and felt like I should hear it from her. I was pissed that she decided to tell me this, but I'm moving on.
Backstory time: After 10 years together, a few of those married, my ex-wife and I separated when I caught her in an affair with one of my friends. After months of gaslighting every time I asked why she was so distant, she started a major fight with me and asked me to leave for a few days, during this time she basically left all but the essentials and moved in with this miserable vape-enthusiast. The guy totally spent 9 months spinning lies about me, before she moved in, but she was the one that was willing to believe even the most outlandish things to convince herself that she was justified in cheating. It turns out he was in a better place to financially get her where she wanted to be. This story is long and drawn out, and I won't spend anymore time on it. Just know that this wasn't the first time she screwed me over, but it was definitely the last. Despite pretending they weren't seeing each other and my ex saying that she still wanted to work things out, the separation started last fall, and the divorce finalized in May of this year.
Anyway, her mother called me Tuesday to say Merry Christmas and see how I have been. You could not ask for better in-laws, and I still talk to them occasionally. Anyway, she told me that, despite the engagement, I am still part of the family and welcome anytime. At some point after this, I told her that I wasn't happy about the engagement, but I wasn't surprised, since they had been living together for a year and a half. She got really quiet for a moment, but then wished me a Merry Christmas and told me not to be a stranger and got off the phone.
Yesterday, I get up and one of her cousins has texted me with info on this storm that I started. It turns out that she had adamantly stuck to the story that they had gotten together this spring, and had only moved in together this summer. Her mother went off on her for lying all these months about the cause of our divorce, she's pissed and isn't going to be going to Christmas this year at my ex's new house as a result. I've heard that she was told they would be hosting Christmas at home this year instead.
Now, I didn't intend this revenge, but it did happen. Merry Christmas.
2. Nice try. But no.
On vacation, my boyfriend and I stop at the Louvre. There is a line up at the little cafe/snack bar. They have those standing barriers with ropes to guide the line up, but the ropes aren't pulled across - because people are grown ups and can see that its just a single line down one side of the front display.
Cue a group of young girls in blinged-out clothes deciding they don't have time to stand in line. They go to the front and stand behind the person currently paying. They pretend to be oblivious to the 4-5 other people in line now giving them death stares.
I am not in line but I see their little act. So I go along and start hooking up the ropes. The girls are gossiping together and ignoring everyone else around them, because hey, what do they care right? So they don't notice when I move the barrier just a smidge forward ... and hook up the rope in front of them.
The look on their faces when they turn around to order their coffees and find themselves quite obviously outside the queue was just... soooo priceless. Huffing and puffing, they had to totter their high-heeled asses to the back of the (now much longer) line-up.
Enjoy your coffee, ladies!
3. Im having trouble visualizing this but it sounds nice.
This happened a few months ago as I was driving my work van(the biggest Mercedes sprinter you can drive without a commercial licence) around Amsterdam delivering groceries. This story takes place on a single lane road with high curbs on both sides that takes you from one neighborhood to another. Speed limit is 50kph, although it could have been 70 except in some tight corners.
Now I've driven here so many times before that I feel comfortable doing 60-ish, just a bit faster than normal without the risk of getting caught speeding in an urban area.
Suddenly I hear a loud beep behind me, and wouldn't you know it, it's a BMW! "What a surprise!" I think to myself. I was quite impressed by my ability to guess the brand of this automobile, because everything forward of the rear doors wasn't visible in my mirrors.
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...Continued from last page.
The tailgating and honking continues for a little while until I spot the perfect opportunity to teach this Ikea-pencil equipped douche a lesson: a long straight section in the road. For those of you who haven't been to the Netherlands before, our government loves two things: taxes and using those taxes to build speedbumps.
As such we have a wide variety of speedbumps and this straight section was equipped with my personal favorite: the bus bypass variant, a trapezoid block just wide enough that a normal car has to pass over it with at least one wheel, but a bus can pass over it unobstructed.
I've had plenty of practice with these obstacles and line up for a flawless pass while accelerating to a mindnumbing 70 kmh, the BMW still glued to my rear bumper. I pass over the obstacle without the slightest inconvenience..... The oblivious BMW driver however hits it in the worst possible way, launching himself into the ceiling of his car and grinding his oilpan as the suspension compresses.
After that he kept a good distance.
4. He deserves all the suffering.
I was at a Craft Store in my town, and it wasn't too busy, but only one register was open. The cashier, a teen aged girl, I could tell was working as best as she could. The process was a tad slower however, because she had a stutter, and a bit of a lisp.
As she worked through the line, asking the usual questions probably mandated by the big wigs (I've worked in retail, it's a thing), the man behind me began to huff and puff. He muttered something about having places to go, he was in a hurry, etc. I ignored him, until I heard him start to mock her to his kids.
W-w-would you l-like y-y-y-y-y-y-your reSCHKeet?
The kids began to laugh. It really made my blood boil. Especially since I could tell the cashier heard his mockery. That really made my blood boil. When a person doesn't respect retail employees as people, it's the best way to tell whether a person is a jerk or not.
So, when it was my turn at the register, she asked me in a small voice "Are you a member o-o-of the rew-w-rewards club?" And I looked smugly at the guy behind me, and back at her.
Me: The rewards club? Oooo that sounds great! Please explain it to me?
She seemed surprised at first, but then looked at the guy behind me, and then it clicked.
I have never given my information so slowly in my life. Never had I asked as many questions as I did. She smiled and answered my inquiries, while the guy behind me was seething.
Him: Can you hurry up, please?
Me: And miss out on these great rewards? As if!
I only held him up for about 5 minutes... but wooo child, it felt so good.
5. 25 miles.
I work at a logistics company and my job is to find drivers to take freight from A to B. I work with the same trucking companies a lot, but sometimes I get one-off drivers. This is one of those.
A truck driver calls me asking about a load for the next morning coming out of Laredo TX going to Portland OR.
TD: What is rate?
Me: We can pay $3,500 on it
TD: How about $4,000?
Me: Sorry, customer is strict about the rate on this one. Has to be 35.
TD: Oh man, I need this. I need to get home to see my son and my wife is sick.
Me: Then we need 35 on it. Customer will not go higher.
The guy ends up taking it. If you think Im being too hard on him, keep in mind there really isnt a whole lot heading from TX>OR at any given time, so I could try to get him his rate but Id risk losing the load to another driver. If he really needs to get back, why does he want to go back and forth negotiating on price and risk it?
The answer is because hes full of crap.
The next morning I get a call from the customer saying that the facility thats receiving the freight has been changed. Its still going to be in Portland, just in a different place. Something like a 20-30 mile difference, tops. Should be a complete non-issue, considering the driver has just started a 2,200 mile journey, so its a drop in the bucket.
I call him back.
Me: Hey, just a heads up, receiver called to say that its going to deliver at a different address. Its XXXX, Portland, OR
TD: Oh well, you can send me rate confirmation with little bit more money.
Me: What do you mean?
TD: Agreement has changed, need to renegotiate.
Me: seriously? Its like a 20-30 miles difference from the original one.
TD: 20-30 miles is kind of long way to go.
Me: (humoring him) Okay what do you think you need for the new rate?
TD: Ehhh, $4,000 should do it.
OOOOOH REALLY? THE ORIGINAL RATE YOU WANTED HUH? WOW WHAT A COINCIDENCE.
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...Continued from the last page.
Me: Are you serious?
TD: Its only fair.
I put the driver on hold just to spite him for trying to handle me like that, and I start working on something else. Out of curiosity, I check the address for the original delivery facility compared to the new one. Turns out the new receiver is actually 25 miles closer to the shipper in Laredo. New travel distance is 2,175 miles. I pick his line back up.
Me: Okay, we ran the miles and the new receiver is actually 25 miles closer to Laredo, so were going to need to reduce the rate to $3,000.
Me: Well, were cutting 25 miles off the trip and its kind of a lot of miles to cut. Its only fair, right?
TD: Ahhh, ah hah hah hah ahhhh so, ah that's yeah, so $3,500 still good?
Me: Of course its still good. Im not going to change the rate by $500 because of a 25 miles difference. Im not an ***hole.
6. Tame and classy.
I was sitting in a food court quietly eating lunch, minding my own business. This food court is in the CBD and filled with nine-to-fivers. It was crowded so strangers would share tables. There was one sole person sitting at a four-seated table next to me. Every couple of minutes someone would approach that table and ask the table-hog if it was free to sit. He always replied, Sorry my colleagues will be here soon. The entire time I was there, no colleagues came and sat with him nor did it appear that he was looking around for them (as most people waiting for others to join will look around and wave them over). He quietly finished up his lunch and left. Seems he just lied to have a four-seater table all to himself when even people on two-seater table were sharing with strangers. Well that's not right!
A couple of days later I saw him in the food court again. I was in a bit of a mood so I bought my lunch and pulled out the chair to sit at his table. As I was sitting down he told me he is waiting for his colleagues. I replied Thats okay, Ill move when they arrive. I wont be long. He shuffled uncomfortably in his seat as I quietly ate my lunch. I felt very uncomfortable and my heart was racing but I was pissed off at that table hog that I had to do something. If you choose to have your lunch in a busy food court, you don't get to live in your own little bubble.
7. I dont know if I can side with this person.
So a while back I was given a Bulldogs flag and a flag pole to mount it on my porch. Our Homeowners association (HOA) restrictions say that sports team flags can only be flown on a day in which the team is playing. My intention was to only fly it on Saturdays when the football team was playing. So I put the flag up on a Saturday the Dawgs were playing but forgot to take it down until Monday. On Friday I get a letter from the HOA stating that I am in violation of the restriction and could be fined. Okay, fair enough, they are correct on this one. I then noticed that the date of observation was on Wednesday. I called and said that couldn't be true because I took it down on Monday. Instead of admitting her mistake, she lied and said that she had seen it up on Wednesday. Now I was mad.
I printed off a schedule of every sporting event the Bulldogs had in every sport, even club sports and then proceeded to fly the flag every single day there was any kind of game, match, regatta, etc., which was almost every single day.
I then started getting letters stating I was in violation again. I would call on each one and explain that the water polo team had a match, or the rowing team had a regatta on those days. After about a month or two of this back and forth, they finally gave up.
8. Enjoy your ride.
I was staying in an older hotel in San Francisco. The elevator was very small, very old school and had signage everywhere about how you couldn't operate it with more than 4 people. I'd also been stuck in there twice already that weekend (the elevator would stop between floors). Each time, I called the front desk and they were able to recall it to the ground floor but I'd learned to be wary.
I should have started taking the stairs, but was on the 8th floor and was feeling lazy. So on Sunday morning I waited for the elevator for quite a while (it was pretty slow). It arrives, I hop in and a family of 5 walks up to the elevator and follows me in. They were all large people and they all had huge suitcases. I politely pointed out the sign and said that I'd already been stuck in the elevator twice and that we should split the group into two. They laughed and said they were all staying on....
...Story continues on the next page.
...continued from the last page.
Welp, I thought, enjoy your ride.
I proceeded to run up the stairs and hit the call button on every single floor. The best part was that I could hear them complaining from the stairwell every time the elevator opened and nobody was there. Petty revenge never felt so good.
9. I like to believe she didnt mean to steal it.
Dad is a principal at a school, and has been for a long time.
It's a relatively small government high school of about 300 students so anyone wanting to enroll has a pretty good chance of actually speaking to the principal instead of one of the admin staff.
One day some lady arrives and expresses an interest in enrolling her son. Principal Dad is speaking with her, gets her some forms to fill out, even offers her his special pen. The pen is a nice stainless steel job that was given to every member of the executive staff on the school's 25th anniversary. It even says "[school name] Celebrating 25 years 1978-2003" on the side.
Anyway, lady and her son fill out the paperwork and go on their way, at which point Dad realises his pen has also left. Clearly the pen wasn't a gift; it was obviously more expensive than a plastic hotel pen.
Fast forward to the next week when the lady arrives to drop her son off for his first day at the school. Principal Dad waits for Mrs Pen Thief and gives her the Emergency Contact Form to fill out. Normally this is given to the kid to fill out but Dad was hoping to see the pen again.
Sure enough, this silly lady forgets where she stole the pen from and out comes the 25th Anniversary Pen to fill out the form. The form completed, she puts the pen back in her handbag and hands the form back.
"And now I just need to sign it here" says Principal Dad, patting down his pockets as if looking for a pen. Instinctively Mrs Pen Thief reaches into her handbag and offers him The Pen. "Thanks" he said as he signs on the bottom of the form (which was just a ruse, he didn't need to sign anything) and puts the pen back in his own shirt pocket right in front of her.
Mrs Pen Thief looks confused, opens her mouth, realises what has happened, and quickly closes her mouth again. She mumbles a thanks and scurries out the door.
I believe he still has the pen to this day.
10. A candy of a tale.
It's lunch time and I'm purchasing a sandwich and drink from a local supermarket.
While I'm waiting in line this woman (We'll call her 'LB') is shrieking down her phone to who I can only presume is her now totally deaf boyfriend. She's visibly pissing off most people in the general vicinity with her swearing and general attitude.
As It's coming up to my turn to check out, she's decided she's fed up with waiting and puts her big bag of M&M's in front of my lunch on the conveyor and says "I need to go first."
Without so much as a moment to think and without making eye contact I pick them up and move them behind my items, saying nothing.
LB: "What are you doing?"
Me: "I was here first, wait your turn."
LB: "**** you I am on my lunch break and I have a very important job blah blah blah" (I can't remember the whole rant)
Me: "It's lunchtime, everyone is on lunch, you have to wait"
LB: "**** you! I asked nicely!" (lolwut.)
At this point LB throws her M&M's in front of my lunch still ranting and it's now my turn to check out, enter awesome check-out girl. (Who we'll call "ACG".)
...Story continues on the next page.
...continued from the last page.
So after seeing the bag of M&M's land on the conveyor I decided to accept LB's gracious offering and buy the M&M's for myself, leaving her M&M-less.
Of course the battle was not yet over, more screaming was coming my way.
LB: "What are you doing, those are mine!"
Me: "Nope, I'm paying for them now, if you want M&M's you'll have to go get some and wait in line."
LB: "You're a theif! You stole my M&M's!"
Me: "No I just bought the M&M's you rudely threw onto my pile of stuff."
LB: "I'm not getting anymore, give me my M&M's back. You're a thief!"
ACG: "Ma'am, I suggest you go and get a new pack and wait in line, there are people waiting. The gentlemen hasn't stolen anything, he paid money for the M&M's."
LB: "Call the manager, get this piece of **** kicked out for stealing."
Me: "Mind if I step out anyway? I have a very important job and I'm on lunch?"
LB: "Where are you going!?"
ACG: "Sure, here's your receipt."
To wrap up, the M&M's were delicious, I shared them with my co-workers. Don't know if LB went back to get some, but I highly recommend them.
11. As a customer, all I care about is the pizza.
I got turned down, by the manager, at a job interview for team member at Dominos because of my stubble facial hair.
Weeks later I order from that same Dominos, and that same manager is the one who delivers my order, which is around $25, and I couldn't help but notice he has stubble facial hair ...
So I gave him no tip, and told him the exact same thing he told me ..
It's not exactly like this, but something similar
"Why do you have all that facial hair? Do you think customers wanna see that? Anyways, I won't be giving you a tip this time. Maybe when I order again, I'll be giving you a tip. But of course, remember to shave".
I still haven't ordered from that place since.
12. You play with fire, you get burned.
I was out to a movie with my friends last night. We come and sit down, and I realize pretty soon that this girl in the row behind us has her feet up on my friend David's seat. She's there with one of her friends. So David turns around and he says something like, "uh do you think you could put your feet down?" And I think they say something in response but I didn't hear it. The feet didn't go down. A few minutes later David says, "hey, will you get your feet off my chair? It's extremely rude." And they still don't budge.
...Story continues on next page.
...Story continues on next page.
So I tell David that he should go find an employee and get them to talk to this girl. He does exactly that, and after a couple minutes an employee comes and talks to this girl. She is obviously pretty peeved but begrudgingly agrees to put her feet down.
After the employee leaves, she puts her feet right back up.
At this point I'm pissed off. Why is it so important to you that you have your feet up on someone's chair? You're just being a brat.
So I get out of my seat, walk up two rows, sit down in the seat directly behind this girl, and stick my foot on the back of her chair and push it forward. They both turn around and try to say something to me, but I can't really hear them since the movie had started by this point, so I just say "just watch the movie."
I kept my feet up there the entire movie. It felt like I had done walls sits for two hours but I'm glad I did it.
13. No stairs for you.
I am the supervisor of a very large nightclub and 9 times out of 10 when we preform an eviction it is verbal (easy and no paper work) but every now and then some jerk requests to be physically evicted as a gag to show off to his friends.
When someone requests to get physically removed from a night club they either try and have a fist fight with us or go completely dead weight, which makes people incredibly difficult to drag/pick up and ultimately remove.
Anyway, this guy was acting aggressive trying to start fights and as a patron pointed out the male, I saw him and his friends first handedly try and instigate one with a guy sitting down minding his own business.
I approach him and asked him what the problem was and he replied with "the guy looked at me funny". I tell him to "grow up and it's time to leave" , his mate yells "go dead weight haha"
After 5 minutes of trying to convince him to walk out the door and call it a night he tells us to go **** ourselves and if we want him out we have to drag him out.
As I grab his arm and my offsider grabs the other, he drops all of his weight to the floor, we then proceed to drag him, I then see the dance floor to my left so we then decide to go slightly out of our way and drag him through the dance floor (absolutely soaking his clothes in nightclub goodness) we then approach the top of the stairs.. This is when he decides to have a change of heart and states "he will walk the rest of the way" , which I reply with "the **** you will" and then we proceeded to drag him down the 2 flights of fire exit stairs.
By the time we completed the eviction he had a lot of bumps and his clothes were completely ruined.
Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?
You're not the only one.
u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.
I Know What I LikeGiphy
My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.
The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.
A Stair Step
My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.
My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.
My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.
We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.
I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.
My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.
With an ex:
"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."
She did not understand this.
I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.
"Now how much do you have in your hand?"
She still didn't understand.
She somehow has a college degree.
When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.
I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.
My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.
His answer was that I was being unfair.
How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."
To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.
A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.
A Non-Standard Ruler?
I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.
Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.
7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.
Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.
Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.
This Unusual Vegan Argument
Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.
He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.
That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."
Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.
Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.
In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.
It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.
Albert or ArnoldGiphy
Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?
Below Sea Level
I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.
I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.
This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.
Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.
Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.
An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.
I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.
Whales Are Mammals
I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.
Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.
My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.
No Balloons For Grandma
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.
He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.
He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
Spontaneous Dolphin ExistenceGiphy
How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.
I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.
Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.
But ... Ice Floats
Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.
Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.
Time Zones Exist
Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"
"no, it's red"
"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)
The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.
The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.
It was stupid.
Stars Like Our Sun
I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.
I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.
I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.
Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.
Balloon to Heaven
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.
And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.
He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.
It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.
Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".
My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.
3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.
I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.
Late to the party, but there it is.
I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.
Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.
Wicked Witch of the West
I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.
I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.
Keep Your Hands to Yourself
Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.
They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.
So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.
My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.
I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.
We didn't speak to each other for four days.
How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).
How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.
Dogs and ChocolateGiphy
I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.
I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.
Is water wet?
My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.
For the record, it is no to both questions.
A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.
He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.
One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.
It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.
Green Or Yellow?
When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.
Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.
Stars In Their MultitudeGiphy
I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".
I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.
She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.
We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.
I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"
I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.
I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...
Solid Or Liquid?
Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.
For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.