People Who had To Hire A Private Investigator Share What They Actually Found.

We've all had personal mysteries that we would like solved, but not everyone has the means to hire a private investigator. So live vicariously by reading this eleven accounts of people who hired private eyes and what they found.

Many thanks to the Reddit user who posed this question and to those who responded. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!

1/11. PI here. I work in three countries, including the U.S. The messiest case I ever had was a cross-border child-snatch involving a family dispute in Texas where the mother took the children to Mexico. The father was livid when he called me because no authorities in either country would get involved. He also couldn't go into Mexico and snatch the children back because if the Mexicans caught him, he would have ended up in a Mexican prison while it was all sorted out and his wife was related to a Mexican alderman who might have used his influence to really slam him.

He told me he was convinced she'd gone off to live with an old flame in a major Mexican city about three hours from the Texas border. I remember how hard he cried and even considered doing the job pro bono. He wanted to hire me for two jobs: first, to prove infidelity on her part and then, once we had that down, use the evidence as leverage against her if she resisted his taking the children back.

I spent a week researching the woman and the man. They were both decent hardworking people at a glance. Nice home, steady jobs, well-raised children. Then I started digging into the domestic violence calls at the house. He'd beaten her on four different occasions over a three year period. The last one resulted in a stay at the hospital.

I started getting a sour feeling about the case. I traveled down to see where the woman lived; found her on my second day. The two children, both young girls, were happy and bouncing about. The woman walked with a limp. It was the same leg he'd broken.

I followed that family for three days, thinking and wondering what I was gonna do. On day 4, I made up my mind. I went to an attorney who worked in the city she lived in, colleague of a friend. I paid him $1,400 to deliver a message to her, saying she needed to make reparations to her family affairs and file for a divorce and custody because he was coming after her.

I went back to the husband and told him I was withdrawing from his case because I didn't like where it was heading. He was angry and instantly grew aggressive.


That just solidified my intentions. I told him that if he wanted to press me, I could just as easily go work for her. And I would have taken her case pro bono.

This was a few years ago now. I hear she's doing well and continues living in Mexico but is legally divorced with full custody of her children. She still walks with a limp. They always say it's best not to get involved. And I mostly agree. But sometimes, the world needs you to.


2/11. About 10 years ago my cousin was deployed in Afghanistan on his second tour. During phone calls back home his daughter made mention of an uncle he knew didn't exist.

My aunt decided to hire a PI for him and found out his wife was cheating with a doctor. Of course, he was heartbroken. The divorce that followed was quick. However there is a bright side to this.

After switching to a reserve unit he was able to finish college and go to law school. His ex wife? She was dumped by the doctor not long after the divorce. She attempted to reconcile but my cousin refused. He's remarried. She lives with a group of friends in some run down house.


3/11. A relative of a friend of mine approached me one day and asked if I could help in finding his brother on the internet somehow. His brother had up and left town with no indication of where he was going leaving a wife and 2 small children behind. They were not separated and still lived with the kids. He took little more than the clothes on his back. They didn't know if he was in trouble, running from someone or just a deadbeat.

They brought me his passworded desktop pc, which was an XP machine and easily cracked. There wasn't anything in the browser history, the documents folders had nothing and the machine was relatively blank. I did find a World of Warcraft installation though and inside that was everything that I needed.

In the games screenshots folder I found several shots of his dwarf talking to a female night elf very cutesy-like, including some chat lines about being together and flirty emotes. It was clear what he had done. This turbo nerd left his family for an elf.

In the screenshots I could see a few addons, one particular WoW addon (Prat) that he had installed has a scrollback chat buffer it saves. I was able to locate the settings file containing that buffer and in it was his last conversation with her before leaving, including an actual address ~800 miles away. Google provided a name, phone number and satellite photo of her house and car.


They were blown away when I gave them his pinpoint location. He called the number right there on his cell phone and asked for him and sure enough he was there, probably shocked to get a call from his brother after this disappearing act.

As far as I know, he did not return home but I'm sure my little detective work made sure the kids got their child support.


4/11. My wife hired one. She found that she was wasting money, and that I'm a very boring person.


5/11. Lawyer here.

Malingerer plaintiff sued employer, claiming he couldn't work anymore due to on-the-job injury. Crippling neck, back, etc. injuries. Wanted lots of $$$.

We hired a P.I. to follow him and ascertain how hurt plaintiff really was.

Next week, P.I. rolls in to law office. Pops in video tape. Video of plaintiff drinking some beers and climbing up a rocky river wall to dive into a river from a bridge. Swim around. Make out with woman. Not his wife. Repeat. Eventually swim shorts come off.

Pre-trial settlement conference... plaintiff still wants big cash. We pop in tape in a conference room. Case settles about 30 seconds into tape. P.I. earned his fee for sure.


6/11. We discovered that the driver who hit me not only went off the side of the road where I was (legally) four wheeling on a quad.. and she was talking on the cell phone, looking into the passenger seat, driving with no insurance and a revoked license because of previous convictions for causing accidents.


After the truck, pushing my quad in a t-boned position, plowed so much dirt up in front of us that after 70 feet it finally came to a halt. The investigator had evidence that she was driving 35mph in a 25 zone and she didn't brake after impact. After the truck came to a stop, she jumped out and started running away but witnesses caught her and held her there.

My friend who was sitting behind me, both of us 14, were carted off in ambulances and I never saw the woman's face. The trooper wrote the report that I (14 years old) had taken an RV (instead of ATV) and pulled out in front of the woman, even though it was clear the accident happened off the roadway.

The trooper interrogated me while I was laying on the ground waiting for ambulances before my parents even arrived. I was in shock while he rephrased the question "have you had any alcoholic or illegal substances today" several times. My neighbors finally asked him to wait until my parents arrived. In the hospital room he questioned me further while my parents were on their way. The nurse had to ask him to stop as my neck was being evaluated and I had not even had pain medication yet.

The accident was deemed my fault although there were 2 eye witnesses who testified against the woman to the trooper and later in court and I was told by the DMV I would have to pay the woman's truck damages before I was allowed to get a driver's license and I carried SR22 insurance for 5 years after I received it.

The investigator uncovered proof that the trooper knew the woman who hit me and was possibly family friends with her. For the months in between the accident and when the investigation was complete, I fought an awful amount of guilt, believing it was my fault and not having any memory of the accident.

My friend's leg was badly injured and required extensive surgeries over the next 5 years and she was visiting from Texas and had to be med-evaced back there via helicopter which left her family with a huge financial burden.

During that time, I even considered suicide and took one attempt that thankfully failed. My parents took the case to the state Supreme Court over the course of the next 3 years and when we finally came to trial the judge said the only way the report could be cleared and the financial obligations relieved is if the state trooper took back his statement.

When we began going that route we were told the trooper had been dismissed from the force for wrongful behavior and his testimony was worth nothing. That was an expensive lesson in corruption. The financial stress contributed greatly to my parent's divorce. However, if we hadn't hired the investigator, we may have went on thinking it was my fault. I am very thankful to know that it truly wasn't.


7/11. When I was ten my parents separated and went through a nasty divorce. Sometime during all of that he hired a PI to follow my mom around. The PI concluded that my mother was a sex worker. She did escort service and hung around doctor's conventions. The PI took photos and logged everything. My dad snuck into the house my mother and I lived in with a camcorder and recorded the discover of a ledger documenting all of her clients and the money exchange. He leveraged it in the divorce so he didn't get screwed over entirely.

My dad didn't tell me any of this until I was in my 17 or so. I didn't believe it until I thought back and remembered some things. She had a pager and back in the 90's only a few types of people had pagers: Doctors and sex workers. She would suddenly be gone late at night if I woke up. She would always say she was out grocery shopping. I also remember walking in on her wearing a revealing dress made of leather. No more revealing than what girls wear to the club but hey, that is weird when it's your mom and you are 10.

Anywho. My dad still throws it at me when he wants to prove how much better of a person he is than my mother or my step dad. In her defense, she was paying her way to become and RN, which she is now.


8/11. My mom was an attorney who worked in Worker's Compensation insurance. Her colleagues were representing a woman who had been gravely injured on the job and deemed totally unable to work.

The opposing attorney hired a PI to investigate this woman. Let's call her "Jane". They get to court and present the video footage as their platinum evidence proving that this woman was totally able to work. Here Jane is mowing her lawn. Here she is unloading her groceries from her car. Here she is walking the dog. Here she is going for a run. Etc etc.

Jane's attorneys sat there totally quiet. When it was their turn to cross examine the PI, they declined any questions. Their turn was up next. Who is the first witness for the opposing side? "We would like to call Jane's identical twin sister to the stand."

Jane's identical twin had moved in with her bed-ridden sister after the work accident. Full benefits awarded to Jane. Apparently the look on the faces of the opposing attorneys was the stuff lawyers dreams are made of.


9/11. My grandfather once hired a PI. See, he has a large vineyard, as well as he has a few engineering projects he's working on. Well, two guys pressed charges on him because they claimed they had hurt their backs working for him, and he needed to pay for the medical bills disability, ect.


He thought it was a little fishy, and hired a PI. The PI uncovered that they had not actually been hurt, and documented the two people working at a lumber yard, which has a LOT more physical labor than a vineyard. It cost my grandfather a bit to hire him, but way less than what he would have had to pay those two scammers.


10/11. My uncle was a PI for awhile. He mostly worked for insurance groups and lawyers to make sure the correct person was being served or prosecuted. He would have to figure out stuff like who burned the farm down, John Smith jr or John Smith sr. Was Jan Doe the divorcee or the 3rd wife. One time this kid wrecked his Ferrari. Kid ended up posting his version of the wreck on MySpace. He told how he intentionally wrecked it because his parents didn't get him the Ferrari he wanted. It was very Tom Havaford from Parks and Rec.


11/11. A friend of mine's brother died about twenty years ago. The police concluded it was suicide, but neither my friend nor his parents believed the brother would have done such a thing. They hired a private investigator to look into the brother's girlfriend. They were suspicious because she suddenly moved away and didn't want contact with them at all, didn't even come to the funeral.

The PI found she had had a very shady past, involved in various scams and a previous boyfriend had also died - again, suicide. The PI then asked the family whether they were sure they wanted to look further, warning them that previous cases had turned into obsessions and had ended up uncovering facts that had haunted the clients for life. My friend wanted to keep him on, but the parents decided it was too traumatic for them and called off the PI.


Bonus: It's an old joke, but I really wanna hire two PIs to follow each other. I know that, realistically, it won't work. They'll pick up what's happening quickly... But still.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.