IRL

People Share The Biggest Wedding Disasters They've Ever Witnessed

"'Til death do us part" is a pretty long freaking time. So before people get hitched, they should probably, ya know, make sure that they're with the person they want to spend their life with. If that's not the case, it's usually pretty evident as early as the wedding day.

Fridayrules asked: Have you ever been at a wedding where it was obvious to you the couple was doomed? What happened?


50. Why even get married?

"I was at a wedding as a videographer. Bride was really happy and everything but the groom seemed disinterested and bored. Film the ceremony and everything and we need some shots of the guests mingling. My buddy says he hasn't got any footage of the groom and asks if I've seen him. I say no but offer to walk around and look.

I eventually find the groom way down by the lake sitting on a bench and chatting with one of the bridesmaids. They don't notice me, but I see them share a kiss. Mentioned it to my buddy who just shrugged and said we were there to film the wedding so it's not our concern."

In_My_Own_Image

49. Some people never change.

Giphy

"They stayed together, but they HATE each other.

A friend from long ago called me up to be a groomsman. I was his friend back when we were in elementary school and hadn't thought about him in years, but okay. I get there and my friend has changed dramatically and for the worse. Or maybe it was that he hadn't changed. He was still that elementary school kid, only bitter. I figure I'll enjoy the party, see some old pals, and get through it. This isn't my trainwreck to stop.

The first time I saw my pal interact with his soon-to-be wife I knew there was gonna be problems. They swore at each other, in front of everyone, at their arranged parties. Not like "you're so hot" and stuff, but "you're a dumb b" kind of stuff.

I admit, I went to the wedding just to see what would happen.

They have 2 kids, they hate each other, and I have no idea why they stay with each other. Maybe they just both like being angry all the time?"

YonderIPonder

48. Sounds like a scumbag.

"My sister and her husband. They met each other our junior year of high school and she moved in with him half way through our senior year. I never liked him and did not hide that fact. I especially didn't like him after he hit on me while they were dating. Didn't hide that fact either, but my sister brushed me off.

Before he popped the question, she found out he'd been texting other girls. He promised he'd change.

The wedding was a train wreck, honestly. It was a small affair in our back yard, with her aunt officiating. The aunt started crying midway through the ceremony.

My step mother read a poem about them she wrote halfway through the ceremony (she always wants to be the center of attention), the grooms drunken father (who had been barred from the wedding) came stumbling in at some point during the vows to search for alcohol, and I saw the groom grab one of the brides maid's butt. I didn't point that out to my deliriously happy step-sister. I should have.

A year later it turned out the groom had been sexting my step mom.

My sister somehow forgave both of them. She has low self esteem.

They got caught again a year after that.

At that point my dad had divorced my step mother, so I have been distant from this whole shebang. But my sister (who I do still talk to) finally divorced that scum bag.

Divorce for everyone! Let's pull an Oprah."

coffee-and-insomnia

47. That's one reason to get married...

"My sister-in-law's first wedding. Never really liked the groom from the first time I met him. After a year or so, he proposed. They started planning their wedding that was to take place in a year. But then, on whim, they get married in a civil ceremony with plans to still have the big ceremony later in the year. A few months after the civil ceremony, the groom goes in for heart surgery (bad valve he's had since he was born). The big ceremony finally comes except every major aspect of it has been stripped away.

Less than a year into the marriage, my sister-in-law brings me a credit card bill and asks me if she knows what this $600 charge her husband has on it. A little internet research and I find that he's tipping cam girls. They're officially divorced about a year after that.

In retrospect, it became obvious what had happened. My sister-in-law was grifted for a new heart valve. He didn't have the insurance at his job to cover the surgery, so he convinced her to marry him - earlier that expected - to get on her insurance, get the heart surgery, and then split."

stubept

46. YIKES.

Giphy

"Got invited to a wedding of an ex girlfriend. There was one of those cheesy dollar dance things where bride and groom shake down the crowd for more money. Fine, I suck it up and dance with the ex for a fiver.

During the dance, she whispers "This should have been you". Freakout time. I left very quickly after that.

Needless to say, they didn't last."

RarelySmart

45. Service Times.

"All of my interesting stories came from my time as an event server. Honestly, I felt like a lot of the weddings I saw at that event hall represented the culmination of two people's most expensive mistake of their lives. Coworkers and I routinely placed bets on which ones would last the year. Our manager even told us about one time when they called a couple to clear up some minor details regarding the wedding a few months prior, only to find that couple was no longer married.

I have to say, though, that the best (worst? take your pick) MOH speech I have ever heard was the one where the MOH had formerly dated the groom.

And she said this. In the speech.

And she also mentioned that it hadn't worked out between them for a laundry list of reasons, which unfortunately for my nightly entertainment she did not delve into.

AND then she threw in a few wink-wink nudge-nudge comments about the groom's sexual performance.

The bride looked furious the whole time this speech was happening, and made a beeline for the bar as soon as it was socially acceptable (can ya blame her?)

The groom, meanwhile, is super awkwardly (suspiciously?) avoiding eye contact with the MOH/his former lover, and the last thing I witnessed between the happy couple was a tense exchange interspersed with both of them chugging their drinks.

Yeah, I wouldn't place any bets on that one."

whyamisointeresting

44. Red flags everywhere.

"I was a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding a few years back. The bride was okay throughout their relationship, but it felt very superficial, and she had done small things that signaled that she wasn't a very kind person - like refusing to take an obviously suffering pet cat to the vet because "it's just a cat". She had the money, she just didn't care at all. My brother did it for her in the end and wound up keeping the cat, but back to the story.

Leading up to the wedding, she got snippier, which we all brushed off as nerves, but she was being straight mean to her other SIL, who was literally doing everything. SIL planned the bachelorette party exactly as my bro's wife wanted - bro's wife pouts because we were talking to each other as well as her and just stands up and leaves. Just friggin leaves. Other SIL is clearly very hurt, and we did our best to cheer her up, but she had to share an awkward hotel room with bro's wife, so yay.

The rehearsal comes, and bro's wife sends SIL out to do all the last minute errands that bro's wife was supposed to do, but didn't because she's decided it wasn't her job but didn't tell anyone. So flowers, decorations, tons of stuff was missing and SIL was blitzing to retrieve it. We didn't know until bro's wife both bragged about what she did, and then about how SIL was late, useless, etc. I told her SIL was doing everything for her, she should be grateful, and then left while she was screeching.

Day of the wedding, she's miserable, barely smiles, yells at everyone for everything, refuses to dance at the reception beyond the first dance because she wanted to pout over unknown reasons, tears open the gifts to see who was cheap and who was worthy, and then flounced out while leaving trash everywhere.

I don't know how, but she and my brother remained married for about 5 years. She was just nasty the whole time. My brother is also a turd, but damn, she really went all out to out-turd him.

So she's gone, and we're all much happier without her. Still keep in touch with her brother and his wife (other SIL) though, because they're great folks."

MamieJoJackson

43. A happy ending, at least.

Giphy

"My best mate and his girlfriend. They were from polar opposite sides of the world with the bride some 10,000 miles from home. They were both located in a country that was not where they were born, they did not speak the language and they both were under immense strain. The Bride had other issues too that I won't share but that exacerbated the situation

The wedding was a small and simple affair - a registry office and a pub lunch, followed by a few beers by just very close family and a couple of friends. I was taking photographs.

The bride's mood was annoyed at best describe it - her new husband would put his arm around her and she would push him away. She stated to me she just did not want to be there. More than once she just stared at me in total despair. As a result he looked despondent at times and almost heartbroken. I didn't think they would see the year out.

15 years later they are still very much together, very much a team and happy. They worked it all out, they learned from each other and they stuck to it. And for me, I couldn't be happier for them."

Expensive_Homework

42. WTF is a "running muscle"?

"I was the guest of the bride who was a coworker and we also were running partners. I was at the hotel bar the night before the wedding and the groom drunkenly touched my leg to feel my "running muscles."

They didn't even last two years."

11itneverstops11

41. Love Weed. 

Well, it wasn't so much only the wedding (though I was best man at it), it was obvious the whole relationship was doomed when I learned this:

(Important to note, the groom was a hardcore stoner)

  1. She demanded before they got married that he quit smoking weed -- she was strenuously anti-drug.

  1. He had no intention of doing so, but was convinced he could hide it from her (so starting out with a lie, and one that was bound to be found out)
  2. He was horrible at hiding it when he was stoned.

They were divorced 9 months later after she caught him smoking in his car in the driveway. So stupid, the whole thing. Why people get into these relationships I have no idea. Iwanttheknife

40. "Once More with Feeling."

Giphy

Instead of saying "I do", he said "Eh... I guess..."

It didn't last two years. khalamar

My dad said, "I'll try". Over 30 years together at this point. PM_ME_RHYMES

39. Swatting a fly?

There's a clip of a wedding (I think in Eastern Europe somewhere) where the bride playfully move the cake away from her husbands mouth and he loses it and slaps her in front of everyone.

I hope she got that annulled immediately. TGND03

38. All Bets. 

My friend's. 12 people literally sat at a table at the reception and formed a pool for how long it would last. Shortest guess was 1 month, longest was 2 years. I had 15 months.

The divorce was announced at 2 years, 1 month later. We decided all bets were off. picksandchooses

37. Guilty! 

The bride ugly cried the entire reception until her, the groom and her mom got into a yelling fight about it. They both made it clear the only reason they got married was because she was pregnant with their second child. The best man (of a different race, it's relevant...) seemed very jumpy the entire time... fast forward to 6 months later, and the baby is clearly biracial.

Less than a year after the wedding, bride & groom are divorced and she's with the best man.

Edit to add: I feel like I should add that the groom was not unhappy to get a divorce. General consensus was he was probably as guilty as she was, she just had the misfortune that her infidelity was a lot more obvious. thethowawayduck

36. Not a Chance.

Giphy

Went to a wedding where the groom accidentally spilled champagne on the brides dress. Now she's probably not the only bridezilla out there who would go nuts. But this turned nasty in a matter of seconds. It started with her being irritated over the dress, to blaming him for everything wrong with the wedding (which no one noticed), issues with his family followed and to top it all off she questioned his mental health (he'd had problems in the past). All this while screaming at the top of her lungs in front off about 150 people. Poor guy never stood a chance. Queenofwands78

35. The Soundtrack. 

The couple came to see me by appointment to choose wedding music for their ceremony.

There, in the church choir loft, they got into a heated argument over each piece of music under consideration. From the wedding processional to the recessional, there was zero agreement or willingness to compromise with each other.

To try to bring some harmony, I suggested that the bride choose the organ processional and the groom select the recessional, even though they strongly disagreed with each other - same with other music for the occasion. That worked for the moment.

In less than 6 months, the pastor informed me that the couple was back to see him for counseling, with divorce under consideration. Back2Bach

34. We Loved YOU.... 

My college girlfriend decided to marry her back-home-HS boyfriend. Fine, whatever. She invites me to the wedding. Fine, whatever. I go to the wedding, and her father, very loudly at the reception, pounds me on the back and announces, "THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU UP THERE!"

They were married for 23 or so years. Then he divorces her, and she switches teams. dramboxf

33. The Creeper. 

My wife and I had thought this one couple wouldn't last. The groom gave off a creepy vibe. We gave them 2 years max.

Two years came and they were expecting a baby, so we gave them another few years. Few more years came and another child was on the way. Then about a year later the crap hit the fan.

Our initial thoughts were correct - dude was creepy and hiding some sketchy stuff from his past. Lied about a lot of things, like his education.

This explains why he always worked the lowest position in their line of work (they both work in the medical field). He claimed he had a degree, which would put him at a much better paying position, but he kept working the bottom tier (practically volunteer) job. Money was a huge issue for them, and she made the bulk of their combined income. Arch27

32. Age Limits.

Giphy

My Father-In-Law was getting remarried in his late 60's. His wife died 20 years earlier to cancer, she was married 3 times prior, twice divorce, once to death. When we met the new girlfriend at the time, 2/3 of the children told him point blank that she wasn't a good match for dad. Of course, he couldn't (didn't want to) see it.

(And took out a loan of $20,000 to repair her house) The thing is, he's super stubborn, as in he is clearly in the wrong with evidence supported, and he will still argue it 20 mins. And he's a yeller (If I raise my voice, then I'm more right!). She is also stubborn and extremely religious. (He is also religious, but she took it to an 11).

Any time they would get together while my wife and I were there, there was always a screaming match going on. They would find the littlest thing and start going off at each other. Well it never did get better. Weeks leading up to the wedding just added more fuel as they had more things to shout about.

The day of the wedding it felt really tense. Very smiling through their teeth. They hardly came back from their honeymoon when he approached my wife and I asking for advice. She served the divorce papers 2 months later, and he's still doing payments on her roof! Celestial_Scythe

31. Mistakes. 

At my cousin's wedding, she came to hang out in my brother's and my hotel room to hangout because apparently her new husband just sat down in the honeymoon suite, put his face in his hands and said something along the lines of, "I made a mistake." They stayed together for five years, had two kids, and a very angry divorce. BagelsAreStaleDonuts

30. They'll be another....

Yes, he proposed drunk and she took it seriously. He clearly wished he could take it back. Big wedding they couldn't afford, he was nervous AF everyone there was dressed like it was a bbq, and were all there to get drunk. As soon as they were married they both had a smoke and a VB in each hand. Classy. Gave it 2 years. Boom to the day they were divorced, she found another dude and wore the same dress to her next wedding. Bogan AF. BDR529-7

29. Storyteller. 

Yes. A coworker. She was constantly telling us stories that made it clear that the guy she was marrying was emotionally and verbally abusive. She would dread him coming to pick her up. I'm not the only one who told her not to go through with it.

Sadly, it sounded like her father was also really emotionally abusive and critical so she'd grown up with that kind of behavior being normalized. They are thankfully divorced now. It was pretty ugly but she seems a lot happier. Toomuchcustard

28. The 50 Mile Radius. 

Yes. And unfortunately she was my best friend from high school/college, and I was the maid of honor. Everybody in a 50-mile radius could see that, while they were both nice people, they weren't right for each other. But he loved her, and I got the impression she just kinda wanted a wedding.

She filed for divorce 10 months later. She and I eventually drifted apart when my husband and I moved out of state. SaveBandit0215

27. Not Cute.. 

They wrote their own vows.

His were touching and endearing, about how his life was complete now that he was together with her.

Hers were a bunch of passive-aggressive, sexist attempts at jokes. "I promise to never let you win an argument. I promise to never let you watch a football game in peace. I promise to leave the bathroom a mess and yell at you about the toilet seat." Oudeis16

26. Too Good to be True. 

My cousin and her husband had a pretty lavish wedding, one that seems like it should have been out of their price range. Husbands grandparents are wealthy so the assumption was that they had paid for it. Well couple months go by and on Facebook they are posting about their new Maserati they bought. My cousin is a college student, and her husband is in "sales."

After that they bought a brand new Mercedes and a yacht. Well turns out they had been running a Ponzi scheme and had defrauded people out of more than a million dollars. After they got caught they turned on each other. Husband got 9 years in federal prison, and my cousin got 2 years. Oh and she gave birth to their child in prison. Both of them are disgusting human beings so I'd hoped for more time in jail. Skate3158

25. The Right Girl.

Giphy

Was friends with a girl, she's bit dramatic, emotional, severe enough that I wouldn't want to date her, but not that bad that I wouldn't be friends with her.

She introduces me to new boyfriend. Chill dude, into gaming like I am, becomes part of our group of gamers and we have frequent lan parties together.

She's always yelling at him about everything, emotional manipulations, yelling at him in front of the group of friends, but he sticks around, I have no idea why.

Tells me in confidence the one day that he sees her as the 'right now girl', not the 'right girl' and will be moving along shortly.

Then out of the blue they announce their engagement. wtf? but, i thought... whatever Married and divorced a year later.

He's now married to an awesome woman, been together around 10 years now, 1 cute daughter. Their first date was my wedding :) Reapr

24. Walk Away. 

Brother wedding, told him he could walk away, he didn't, weren't married long. Best man at his next wedding he asked me if I were going to tell him he could walk away, I said no this is the one. Been together a long time and married quite a few years. Fean2616

23. I saw this on Dateline. 

The groom's family hated the bride so much that they refused to allow her and her family at the reception. So there was a wedding, then two separate receptions. Amazingly, the marriage lasted a decade.

They HATED her. Had her committed, took her daughter away, tried to murder her. Literally MURDER her. Joke's on them, their precious baby boy ended up in prison for assault. He's now a registered sex offender who can't see his own daughter. She has the daughter and they're doing well now, thanks to her amazing mom. Jenny010137

22. I Do.  

The bride got totally drunk, she sexily danced on the dance floor solo instead of her first dance, turned the wedding DJ into a Karaoke, started a fight with the best man's girlfriend. At the end of the night Then she had to be carried to her room because she was that drunk..... we've been happily married for 15 years now, so turns out I was wrong. megabollockchops

21. 364 days Counts. 

My brother's wedding. I was up front with my parental units and I saw the bride walking down. She didn't have a smile on her face. I turned to my mother and said this marriage isn't lasting a year. She smacked me in the shoulder and gave me a scowl. Marriage didn't last a year. bricosis

20. Forget Scum. 

My BFF's wedding, sad to say. She and her husband never smiled throughout the entire ceremony. The officiator kept saying how they looked like such serious a couple; not how cute or charming, but serious.

Two months later, she calls to tell me her husband was cheating on her, spent their wedding money on other women, and were being evicted from their home because he was spending his paycheck on himself and his extra-marital affairs. She is now happily divorced and moving on from her scumbag of an ex husband. Latter-Day_Gamer1540

19. Bad Chats. 

Yeah, former friend got married to his partner of over 6 years, but he was always chatting up other girls online both before and after the wedding. He eventually got fired from a job for sexual harassment. He didn't tell her for a while and she dumped him soon after. He was living at her parent's place. kingochaos

18. Refunds?

I see a lot of posts here of people claiming the wedding was doomed because the couple got divorced, but I doubt they knew that at the time.

I had a wedding invitation that I refused to accept because of this. It was for a high school friend. I knew he had slept with all of the bridesmaids at some point or another. I knew she was constantly cheating as well. There was no way it would be stable.

So, I claimed I couldn't get away from my family, and sent a modest gift. According to another friend who attended, there was a fight at the wedding reception. The couple ended up annulling or divorcing soon after.

I never got the gift back though. Reddit

17. Revelations....

Giphy

I thought they were doomed alright, but not in they way you're thinking. By their request the priest quoted Revelations because they were hardcore rapture believers. If you want to know what part of Revelations is appropriate for a wedding, the answer would be none of it. Anywho they joined a cult in the Rockies and disappeared up in the Yukon. Patches67

16. Deployed. 

The guy was in the military and was being deployed overseas the day after the wedding, so they made an effort to make the wedding extra big and exciting.

He was gone for like 7 months or something and they got divorced the week he came back. velour_manure

15. Oh Queen...

Yep. My cousin got married to this guy she'd been dating for a year or so. They had a fairytale wedding at a plantation in Louisiana, gorgeous wedding. I turn and look at my mom and say "they aren't going to make it." She asks me what made me think that, to which I replied "I know for a fact he's gay."

He used to help out at band camp when I was in high school and he was very clearly gay, but closeted. He was his most comfortable self when he was hanging out with the dance instructor and they were openly gay.

Turns out I was right, they split up like 2 years later because he finally came out to my cousin as gay and wanted to live his best life. MommaGoinNuTz

14. Oh the Snark. 

My brother's wedding. Prior, I hadn't seen my brother in years and he was getting married. Sent me a week notice to appear at his wedding. His soon-to-be wife was a bit odd. Really shy, quiet, and had ultra-conservative parents who you could tell didn't agree with the wedding because she should've of married a Christian white man and not an Atheist asian man.

They always had a snarky comment to me or my mom that we looked like savages. My brother is on the weird side as well. Super frugal, but also super wealthy. I gave it 2 years. They were married for 5 years, and she filed for divorce and ran off with another woman. Cut contact with her family and everything to be a lesbian. Fast forward to this year, and my brother finally opens up about the marriage saying that they never fought about anything, no arguments, no disagreements about money, children, future, etc. He assumed she was a closeted lesbian and wanted to be free from her family. Jiggly_Love

13. The BF Story....

I was the best man at my then best friend;s wedding. I knew he would blow even though he swore he was done with other women. Marriage lasted for nearly three years. His ex is doing really fine. He is still the old whiny lying and failing dude. Doesn't care much about his son too. Bavarian36

12. For the Money.

She (a morbidly obese "Live, laugh, love" fan) had a lit cigarette during the vows, berated the groom when he stumbled over the words, and had a face like thunder the whole time.

He (a mentally challenged pub glass collector) later admitted to being pressured into the whole thing by her.

The best man made a joke about her only marrying him for the money (despite his job he's LOADED, I think from an inheritance), and he developed a look that clearly said "oh crap, that's right, I've been played."

Divorced in a week, marriage unconsumated. She accused him of assaulting her, despite previously confirming the lack of sex.

Yeah... Aurell1an

11. Listen to Your Heart.

Giphy

At my first wedding, I couldn't stop sobbing. It was weird. I thought it was because I was emotional, but I realize now that it was my body screaming at me saying, "DUDE STOP." We were stuck together for 10 years. BruceLee1255

10. The Hard Worker. 

My cousin's, ten years ago.

They married after their firstborn son turned 1.

She didn't like my family and did everything she could to make her parents to be the favorite grandma and grandpa.

The last decade, they got two more children and built two houses, my cousin worked his butt off for as a firefighter and a plumber simultaneously.

Now that she achieved everything she wanted, she sew him off and is trying steps to get the houses and the kids. Luckily we're in Germany and the houses are legally his, as he solely paid for them. Chances are that he will end up with the houses but has to pay for his soon to be ex-wife. His intentions are to legally give one house to his kids and allow the mother to live there with them, leaving him only to pay a small amount of child support. realultralord

9. Oof....

Pagan ceremony, bride in fairy wings. Groom begins his vows with 'We were both with other people when we met.' Bride begins hers with 'As most of us know, I'm not mentally well.'

Oof, just... Oof. StrangePondWoman

8. Family Feud. 

Oh yeah, my cousin got married to some fool nobody in the family liked. I'm not sure I ever said one word to this guy. But fancy wedding with a lot of people, they divorced one month later. She did eventually marry a very nice guy the entire family likes so it does have a happy ending. BurghFinsFan

7. The Family.

My uncle got married and they had an on and off relationship ( they couldn't afford divorce) until my uncle got the crap beat out of him by her family. borny106

6. Too Young. 

My stepbrother married is now ex-wife way too young. Besides the fact the wedding was dry due her not being 21 at the time (she was 20 he was 21) she was just not a nice person. She rejected us every time we tried to be kind to her. They would always leave family gatherings early. There was a ton of family drama the day of the wedding about seating (so dumb) and the pastor almost didn't marry them because he thought they weren't ready.

I was in the wedding party and when I was standing up there I just had that feeling "this isn't going to work." After 6 years of her changing jobs, relocating for those jobs, and dragging my stepbrother along they got divorced. He had to transfer nursing schools 3 times because of all the moving around. My stepbrother gave and gave and she just took and took. spenceballs

5. Hey Mr. DJ?

Giphy

I was a DJ years ago, and I had a Friday night gig to do a wedding reception. They had hired a band, too, and I played music between the band's sets.

Well, the groom got rip-roaring crapfaced drunk and passed out at the head table. I'm playing the tunes while everybody danced the night away. Except the bride is nowhere to be seen. She was the only one in a sparkling white dress, so normally you couldn't miss her.

Ten minutes later, I see her sneaking out from behind the backstage curtain, and rushing off into the bathroom. Half a minute later, the singer of the band also creeps out. He's grinning like the fox who ate the canary. He strolls up to me and basically starts bragging about how she was pretty tight for a woman with three kids. All I could do was shake my head. thudly

4. The Day Arrives....

Backyard wedding between two missionaries. I got to the house for the rehearsal dinner the night before to hear screaming and crying as the pastor tried to calm each of them down long enough to get them to agree to move forward with the wedding the next day. Day of the wedding, the wedding party (including me) were told we were the ones responsible for setting to the tables, making centerpieces, and doing signage 4 hours before the wedding while bride is still distraught.

Oh, also, self service bar plus lots of kids meant lots of drunk kids whose parents weren't watching as they drank Long Island ice teas straight out of the dispensers. This culminated in the drunk two year old flower girl faceplanting off a trampoline conveniently placed on a concrete driveway and having to be rushed to the emergency room covered in blood during the speeches.

They moved out of state just after their wedding and I've only spoken to them a couple times, she has become something of a hermit and he's gotten very into his job so I'm guessing they don't talk much either. Stellaheystella

3. $50 for all....

Wedding was at some white trash event hall. When the reception was wrapping up, the bride's family began to pick up the chairs around each table (I later learned that they refused to pay the $50 pickup fee so they were picking up themselves). No one from the groom's family were helping pick up the chairs and the bride's family did not like that at all.

The chaos started with smart comments from the bride's family and quickly escalated into a full-out brawl ending with the bride and groom being rushed into their getaway car like they were Bonnie and Clyde. They were divorced a year later. felton225

2. Don't be Late....

Relatives wedding.

Bride was 45 minutes late to ceremony. Bride parents (who was separated due to the dad having an affair with the mums best friend, who he later married) fought throughout the whole day. Father of the bride speech was all about him, the groom didn't even write one, and stood for 15 minutes babbling about anything he could think of. Step mother of the bride through a hissy fit that the wedding dress got dirty she was planning to resell it.

The Groom then proceeded to drink 3 bottles of Jack Daniel's and hijacked the bands drum kit and play a 20 minute drum solo. He spent the rest of the evening in the recovery position.

Marriage didn't last two years, can't divulge why as the Criminal case is still ongoing. clclark1992

1. Are you even thinking?

Giphy

Oh yes. There was a palpable emotional disconnect between bride and groom. She seemed completely void of emotion. He got drunk at the reception, missed the cutting of the cake and was carried to their hotel room upstairs. Marriage lasted just over two years. She got them into enormous debt via credit cards buying everything she saw. He spent most of his off time surfing and no interest in spending time with her. They had zero in common. Still cannot figure out what they were thinking. justusethatname

REDDIT

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like

Giphy

My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308

Saturdays

My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango

Iraq

I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina

$40

With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3

Crayons

Giphy

I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold

Giphy

Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.


I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-

Tomash

Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.


An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451

Microwaves

Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence

Giphy

How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"

"orange"

"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?

Giphy

I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)


The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.

fox_boi2

Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.


I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.

grumblecakes1

Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

Dskee02

Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.

justantherredditgirl

Jewish

Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.

Aslkurloz

Nutella

Giphy

3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.

vault_tec_redditor

Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.

Meh75

Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.

weirdatwork2017

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.

Frisby2007

Telekinesis

My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.

dude_bizarro

Ghosts

How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).


How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.

thebeststory

Dogs and Chocolate

Giphy

I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.

KlutzyHedgehog

Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.

SFCopperhead

Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.

SirRogers

Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.

MistalQueensglaive

Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.

BugsRatty

Stars In Their Multitude

Giphy

I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.

theedjman

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

droneb2hive

Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.

moniker5000

Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...

10d4plus8

Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.

ScreamingPotoo