People Who Have Lost A Best Friend Share What Went Wrong.

This article is based on the AskReddit question "Redditors who've lost best friends, what went wrong?"

[Source can be found at the end of the article]



1. Found out she was sleeping with the same guy I was, the guy I had been in love with for years. We sat down and had a long heart to heart talk and both promised to be rid of him. Found out a week later she had gone out of her way to do that to me and they were now dating. And she ended up actually cheating on him.

Honestly though, I'm grateful that it happened. It led to me getting rid of all of my toxic friends and I now have an amazing boyfriend and the most supportive group of friends I've ever had.

doriangraybabe

2. I got sick of the partying, the drugs and the constant "bros" hanging around the house all day. Once I quit smoking weed I realized it was the only thing we had in common.

LWHS1

3. Every single time it's been because they started dating someone. When people start dating they just get glued together.

It's really awkward when you essentially get dumped by a person, and then they want to start hanging out again 6 months later after they cut things off with their significant other.

toxicbox

4. He had a long history of drinking a lot and being obnoxious. That said, he was a very good friend other than that.

But he had a very rigid view of friendship. He moved abroad, and began complaining that I wasn't contacting him enough. I got married, had a kid, had a full-time job, but he basically wanted me to be acting like we were teenagers.

He ended up moving back to my area after a divorce. His drunken behavior got worse. He got frustrated I wouldn't just drop everything and hang out with him.

Finally I told him I was concerned about his drinking, and he went off on me about how terrible a friend I am. We went back and forth for awhile until he finally said not to talk to him.

urchigold

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5. I told him about how his girlfriend was cheating on him behind his back. He accused me of slandering her and now we're no longer friends.

I only realized how bad my high school friends were when I started college.

Torjakers

6. I've had two best friends all of my life pretty much, my one best friend it was mostly my fault as he'd always ask me to come hangout to go drinking or concerts and I'd often decline him with some BS excuse because I didn't have the money to go out and I didn't want to let him know I was struggling with it.

My other best friend basically got a girlfriend and forgot about me completely, he broke up with her a few months ago and reached out to me and apologized and said he should have done it sooner so were sort of mending it right now.

Adorinn

7. Best friends for two years, we did everything together. A few months ago, she started hooking up with a guy, joined his group of friends, and started blowing me off soon after. Constantly told me she was "just staying in", then I'd see pictures of her with her friends on social media. A few weeks ago, I decided to wait for her to get in contact with me to meet up. She never did. We haven't spoken since the last text I sent her. It makes me really really sad, but I have to keep reminding myself it's not worth it to make such an effort for someone who makes me feel so terrible.

darynelisabeth

8. I was being abused as a kid and my abusive parent pretty much tried to befriend anybody I brought home and make them her friends, or she'd scare them so badly with her bizarre behavior I never had any further contact with them.

I tried to get close to this one girl in my class and she would go from not wanting anything to do with me to being my best friend in a matter of seconds. It wasn't a healthy relationship, but she abruptly stopped hanging out with me because I wasn't popular enough.

I later befriended two of my cousins, but one died from a terminal illness and the other ended up turning to drugs.

As an adult I rarely am able to make friends or get close to people.

XenaWPM

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9. He posted one of those old Facebook memory pictures of me underage drinking from eight years ago, publicly, during my federal background investigation. Then had a conversation in the comments about the drinking. I texted him and told him to take it down. He deleted it and said don't ever ask him for anything ever again. I thanked him for removing it and we haven't really spoken since.

TheWingalingDragon

10. You can only deal with someone so self destructive until it gets to a point where you are being mentally drained trying to help this person when they can't even help themselves.

wtoxnate

11. They went to college (year above me) in a super country/conservative area. They went full die hard conservative, which I would not have had a problem with except they started saying things like "all immigrants are murderers and rapists, except you, you're a good immigrant." Kind of hard to remain friends after that.

Blackmarlin97

12. When I'd been accepted early decision to my first choice college and he realized he wasn't going to graduate high school on time, he abruptly stopped talking to me. Now he constantly disparages me whenever I come up in conversation with one of our mutual friends. He joined the US Air Force after graduating high school a year late, so good for him for trying to make something of his life I guess.

...I say "trying" mostly because he's now an alcoholic. Yeah, I think he did me a favor by stopping talking to me

PGleo86

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13. She said she believed that I was the root to all her problems, and that I'm a horrible person. Someone told me what she said, then she begged me to forgive her. In that process of begging, she admitted that she lied about her whole life (and a bunch of stupid stuff).

I completely cut her off because I realized I actually didn't know her. It's ok though, she went on to be friends with another girl who she slowly moulded herself into

polkadotpizza

14. She was possessive, and kind of an abusive friend. We are adults, with families too. I had enough. Told her how her behavior was hurtful, worrisome, and self-centered. She blew up in a passive aggressive tirade. We have mutual friends still. She is not ever welcome back in my life though. She was not a good friend, at all. She drives past my house often, leaves weird little trinkets outside my door, and other strange things. Mad as a hatter.

kleinerschatz

15. I've lost many best friends, my best friend growing up decided he was too cool for me once we reached secondary school (Scottish education system, roughly 12), had a couple of best friends at different times during high school, but they all turned out to be pretty horrible, abusive people. next best friend was my ex, never been so close to a person as I was her... she also turned out to be emotionally abusive. apparently I tend to pick abusive people. except for my current best friends, they're like siblings to me, even if we don't hang out that often, living in different parts of the country, college, working, all of us very busy people. I don't tolerate this kind of stuff anymore.

Pheonixtail

16. I learned that after 10 years of friendship, I was being kept around to constantly be the butt of every joke. She was sweet to my face but apparently just got me to do things to be able to make fun of me behind my back. I was convenient for her to have around because I was the friend who would always be there when she called, but it took me a long time to realize that if they won't ever do the same for you, they're not really a friend at all.

Oh well. Took me a while to get the self esteem to realize that I was being used and that I didn't actually have to put up with it.

ToastyCheeseSandwich

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17. I lived in an apartment with my best friend. It was going fine for almost a year, no fights or anything.

One day, his dad had a stroke. He could no longer work or pay his bills so he needed a place to stay and my friend was adamant that his dad move in to the apartment, meaning I would have to leave. After some arguments (I was trying to make the case that I shouldn't be the one to move out because it wasn't fair on me. He should move out and find a place with his dad) I finally decided to be the bigger person and move back in with my parents so that his dad could move in to the apartment.

Weeks later, I see a Facebook post about how happy he is that his girlfriend is moving in with him. The whole thing was a lie to get me to leave so his girlfriend could move in. The stroke was real, and I think his dad was struggling to find a place, but in the end he found somewhere to stay. My friend just decided to keep the lie going so that I'd leave.

Haven't talked to him since.

Acoustibot

18. She went on our country's version of American Idol, and got second place. I guess fame got to her head, or maybe she just got tired of me. 17 years of friendship (friends since we were 2) down the drain like that.

It hurts because every time I check on her social media I see we are so alike now, we share the same values and interests and she's living her life just like I wish I was living mine but made bad choices. I ended up unfriending her and unfollowing her on Facebook and instagram but keep checking her profiles. It's like I love to make myself feel bad about always being inferior to her.

catstoleyourtongue

19. Best friend in college for about 4 years. We were roommates. When her fiance came home from basic he moved in with us. They had a joint bank account. When I paid my half of the rent I just made the check out to him (per her request). Yeah......he was cashing my checks and not telling my friend I had paid. This made her more than a little hostile towards me and wouldn't even speak to me. I had no idea what was going on until I came home to an eviction notice and ALL of my stuff was put into black trash bags and sitting by the door. When I confronted her she accused me of never paying for rent/utilities and mooching off of them. Shut that down real quick with the copies I had of the checks written. She stood there open mouthed while I put myself stuff in my car. Tried to apologize months later and wanted to be friends again. Told her her I forgave her but didn't need "friends" like her in my life and to have a good one.

penguinsRmyfavorite

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20. Turns out her quirkiness was bipolar disorder.... things got bad, real bad. She accused my husband of being inappropriate with her daughter because he dared to argue with her about her terrible parenting. Then she tried to make all our friends take sides even though they all knew the accusations were BS.

Hind sight I should have seen the signs. I've taken care of a few bipolar patients recently and the similarities are stunning. It seems they like to watch their families and friends go through misery and try to start/cause so much drama.

I tried to be civil recently since we still travel in the same friend circles. I got burned in short order. So now when I do have to be around her I just act like she doesn't exist/avoid her.

Notsugarandspice

21. We got older, but he didn't stop being a teenager.

Whenever he got really pissed or frustrated, he would blame his parents. That's ok as a teenager, thats what most of them do. But when you hit college and blame your mom and dad about how you don't feel like you're fitting into the classes or keep making terrible decisions? That's all you. But he didn't accept that.

It really broke apart when he started saying misogynistic stuff. Just out of the blue--"women only want your money, can't trust a female politician because she doesn't understand me" yadda yadda. Distanced myself and broke it off when he made the ultimatum of choosing him or my new college friends who had their life together.

I still wonder what could have been if he simply decided to grow up rather than sit down and act like a petulant child. Probably would still hang out with him. And at this point it's been five years.

Robertjordanforever

22. Had a very close friend i've known for 10+ years.

He was always in a bit of a depressive state about his life and i often was the person he could talk to about it all. Spent countless evenings listening, being supportive, etc. He was not full-time depressed, we also shared a lot of laughs and simple minded / happy moments.

Then for the first time in ten years... it was me that got depressed. Went through a very emotionally abusive relationship and got lied to about a fake pregnancy for weeks (because she didn't want to lose me). The experience sent me into an existential crisis and a deep depression...

When i tried to talk about it with this friend of ten years... after five minutes, his words were: "Be quiet! you're annoying!". He went on to say good night and left. A week later he wrote a message: "Wanna chill?". I told him to find a new best friend. Never heard from him again.

Tangible_Dream

(Source)

In most situations, when you're hurt by someone, it can be best to just forgive and forget. However, there are some people that can't help but hold grudges. Sometimes it can just be petty, but other times, it can be for very valid reasons.

HeySistaBrutus asked: What are you STILL mad about?

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