IRL

People Who Lied On Their Resume And Got The Job Reveal How It All Turned Out

Sometimes a little white lie will pay off...

The job hunt is a daunting challenge. We all just want a career that we enjoy and that pays well. It sounds simple enough, however it is anything but. One of the first golden rules you're told when starting out on the career path race is never tell a lie. It's breaking a commandment so don't risk it. Never lie because nine times out of ten you'll be exposed. But that leaves that one time when it all works out. So nine times out of ten we all take a risk and fib a bit. The degrees of success vary.

Redditor u/herbgreencalledit wondered how telling a few fibs over the course of life worked out on the career path.... People who have lied on their resume and got the job, what did you lie about and how did it eventually turn out?


It's just IT... not rocket science... 

I used to work in a petrol station. And a new owner took over. He brought in a new computer to do his accounting and I helped him carry it from his car. So on my C.V. I proudly listed my achievements as "assisted with the installation of the back office system." I now head up the IT department for a large company. umaer1234

Tone Deaf... 

I put a trivial lie on my resume. I took guitar lessons for 2-3 years, starting when I was like 6 years old. When interviewing for my current job in 1997, I had on my resume that I played guitar. I hadn't actually played guitar in over 15 years. One guy that interviewed me was very much into guitar and started asking me questions about it. I worked very hard to change the subject, which thankfully he went with. Hoffur

Sit right back and you'll hear a tale...

Giphy

This is an opposite story… When I was hiring a lead coder for my company, I was so sick and tired of getting resumes from people that were literally filled with bull, that I turned into a game for my own personal amusement. I got a resume that the gentleman listed he spoke 11 languages… One of them, was Swahili. I knew three words of Swahili ( I had learned how to say "release the prisoners" in Swahili from an episode of Gilligan's island [onyesha wapangaji]!!

I called him in, and set up an interview in my office. Sure enough, when he came in, I tested him and his Swahili, with my brief phrase, and sure as hell, he spoke Swahili! I ended up hiring him, and he was the best coder I have ever hired without a doubt! I never would have called him for the interview had I not absolutely thought he was full of s**t! Puppyismycat

Culturally Qualified....

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A couple years ago, I was filling out a resume for a lab tech job on some job board. It had a pop up that required you to answer some questions before sending the application, basic stuff like "Are you at least 18," etc. It was pretty obviously a questionnaire to root unqualified candidates out before the resume was looked at by a human.

The last question was, "Do you have prior experience in chemistry?" I didn't, but checked the box anyway. I figured it was the only way to get a human being to look at my resume, and if they called me out on it in the interview, I'd own up to lying. Worst case scenario, I'm back where I started.

I get to the interview, and it's a panel interview in front of three PhD chemists. They ask me about my specific chemistry experience, specifically Ochem, which is what they cared about. Given that the sciences tend to have some friendly competition, I figured I'd play to my audience. I said, "Well, I don't have any, but I have a degree in physics and in my opinion that's even better so really you guys are getting a deal."

They loved my answer and said that even though I wasn't strictly qualified, they thought I'd be a great "culture fit." I've been working there as a chemist for a little over two years. Still don't know crap about organic chemistry. fat_doofus

Less than the basics....

I said I spoke basic Spanish. Didn't get asked about it. Got to my new office and a good 2/3 of the employees were Hispanic/Spanish/Latinx and our sister site was in Spain. Everyone assumed I couldn't speak a word of Spanish and would explain what things like "vamos" and "claro" meant and would encourage me to try. I did speak /some/ Spanish (though "basic" might be stretching it) so I got to mildly impress my coworkers while my boss apparently completely forgot what my resume said. PureMitten

Juggling the dates....

So, I have successfully lied about the duration and work of previous posts. I've never lied about actually working at those places, but I have definitely gotten fired from one place without updating my LinkedIn or resume, so that when I got hired at the next place, they thought I had basically closed the door on the last position and moved right in to the new one. Jedifice

Rapid fire fingers.... 

I'm not trying to humblebrag or brag or anything but I am fairly fast But if I put 110 wpm on my resume I get "Nah! there's no way you can type that fast!" For some reason if I say I type 95 wpm people are like "WOW that's cool you can type so fast!" Saywihee

Going Nuclear....

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My grandfather lied about being a nuclear specialist in the Air Force to get a job at a civilian reactor. He was actually a radar tech. He worked there for 14 years and it never melted down so I guess it worked out just fine. spicytacocat

Lost in Translation.... 

I'm studying translation and interpretation as a minor. I applied for a student job that involved translating and although I didn't have any actual experience in translation at that time I lied that I had translated plenty of text from various topics. I also added that I could translate mechanical texts. They asked for proof so my mechanical engineer brother wrote me a fake justification from his company. I got the job but they didn't tell me at the beginning that i was only a temporal job for only one occasion. Lord-AG

Google Saves Lives....

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My Excel skills...... honestly, any time I need to use Excel, I just google whatever function I need. AllyCarrollynn

Sing Out Bjork....

Told her I was fluent in german. It wasn't even relevant to the job nor the whole interview, but she told me that being fluent in english wasn't impressive anymore nowadays (her english was pretty bad, ironically). So I told her that, took her by surprise for a bit before asking me to describe my day in german. So i recited Rammstein lyrics (from Reise Reise, my favorite song of theirs) confidently. I got the job. I was so glad that a) she didn't check the correct translation, and b) she never asked for more demonstrations all throughout my staying there.

My backup plan was Icelandic (I could sing Sigur Ros' Staralfur verbatim mwahaha) but thought that might be too extreme. aalleepphh

A Decent Run....

Not me, but I had a friend who lied about his work experience and got a job with Hewlett-Packard. The thing was he was super smart and knowledgeable about computers, so he was capable of doing the job they hired him for. He worked for them for maybe 4 or 5 years and it was a really sweet gig, especially for someone right out of high school - corporate housing, car, free meals in the cafeteria, all kinds of crazy perks because this was before the tech industry got saturated and his skills were in demand (it was maybe 1995 or so).

They eventually found out and fired him, but it was a pretty good run for a 19-year-old kid with no higher education. FearlessLingonberry

Oh Mike....

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Not me, but a friend named Mike who's a teacher. Mike was struggling to find a teaching job in his school board, so he convinced a successful teacher friend of his to help with Mike's resume. His successful friend forwarded a copy of his resume to Mike, with the intention that Mike could use the formatting, and learn the kind of teacher-speak that he used to get a job. Well, Mike simply changes the name at the top of the resume to his own, and saves the file. He ends up getting a ton of interviews because successful friend had a killer set of experiences and degrees. One of the interviewers asks who is "Successful Friend?" His name is on the file name of your resume. Mike backpedals, saying that he only used successful friend's resume formatting, and Mike gets the job.

This was about 4 years ago, and Mike is still going strong (at hating everything about teaching, but that's for a different thread). WhiskeyDickens

Watch the Count!

I lied about being an inventory manager for my previous club when I applied for a job at a new nightclub that had just opened up (My only previous experience was barbacking.) Even faked an email from my previous boss confirming it.

I got the job, did amazing at it, everyone loved me... but was fired 6 months later because I discovered that the AzBar spouts were pouring 10% too much on the rail bottles, costing the club about 5 grand a week. Never mind the Hennessy XO pouring doubles on every pour.

I spent an entire week recalibrating every station in the club (there were about 40) and then went and explained to the boss what I had done, and why and since I'd just worked about 70 hours in the past week fixing the stations, I was going to take a week off. I mentioned that if I had done it right they wouldn't have any missing booze at the end of the week.

When I came back, they took me aside and explained that I was being let go, because during the week I was gone, it was the first week they weren't missing about 5 grand worth of alcohol, so I must have been stealing it. Stupid_question_bot

Too much, too fast...

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I applied for the college program at Disney and you get a catch-all phone interview for every department you express interest in. I expressed interest in almost everything, cause I was like, increases my chances, right? And I acted like I was this bada** that could handle anything in the phone interview.

I was assigned to the hot dog restaurant on Main Street. And no, I could not handle anything. childishinquiry

It's not what it looks like....

Self-employed, but as a service provider so need to provide a CV to clients. Wasn't getting many jobs, so I lied about having a degree. (Immediately got at least double the replies.)

Nobody checked, ever. Have photoshopped one for the few clients that want a digital copy. It's hard to remember which year I said I graduated and which place (since I just picked an easy-to-photoshop one) but I rarely get asked. Studying for an MA now (accepted on industry experience) so I leave the fake BA off the CV now and add my MA and expected graduation date. himit

Just keep a heavy pour....

I lied about being a bartender. Said I worked at all kinds of restaurants around Australia figuring they wouldn't fact check me from the U.S. All jobs give you a little training to get familiar with what is going on so I just had to be focused and learn very quickly. They would ask me to make pretty basic drinks and if I didn't have time to google it without them seeing I would just say "how do you make yours? I want to keep the drinks consistent for the regulars." They would show me and I would write it down. Eventually I was on my own on a Friday night and oh man was it tough. When I was really screwing up I would Just make it extra strong and a lot of people didn't mind as much. All in all it worked out and I stayed 2 years. Strobeezy

Everything!

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Things I lied about on my resume:

Experience

Education

Living situation

Hobbies

Name..... start_the_mayocide

Time's Up! 

I worked with a guy who clearly lied about having excel experience. It was discovered in the first 10min of training when he started asking how to make very basic updates to cells. He lasted 5 weeks which was 5 weeks too long. Reddit

Seems like everyone lies about being experienced with Excel and most people suck a** with it. Very annoying in the office (no pun intended) environment. Have_Another_Comma

Experience IS Education....

I never completed college. But every position I was applying for at the time needed a BA and like 5 years experience.
So I lied. Sure, I "graduated" from Penn State. Now most companies doesn't really follow thru with the background check, so they asked to see my diploma.

I've been a graphic artist for over 15 years, so I did my research, gathered my source material, made myself a diploma, framed it, hung it on my wall and sent them a photo. And the job was mine!

They never found out. I still have that "diploma" in my closet, next to all my sketch pads. Reddit

REDDIT

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like

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My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308

Saturdays

My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango

Iraq

I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina

$40

With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3

Crayons

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I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold

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Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.


I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-

Tomash

Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.


An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451

Microwaves

Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence

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How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"

"orange"

"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?

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I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)


The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.

fox_boi2

Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.


I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.

grumblecakes1

Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

Dskee02

Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.

justantherredditgirl

Jewish

Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.

Aslkurloz

Nutella

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3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.

vault_tec_redditor

Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.

Meh75

Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.

weirdatwork2017

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.

Frisby2007

Telekinesis

My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.

dude_bizarro

Ghosts

How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).


How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.

thebeststory

Dogs and Chocolate

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I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.

KlutzyHedgehog

Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.

SFCopperhead

Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.

SirRogers

Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.

MistalQueensglaive

Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.

BugsRatty

Stars In Their Multitude

Giphy

I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.

theedjman

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

droneb2hive

Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.

moniker5000

Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...

10d4plus8

Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.

ScreamingPotoo