People Who Made Marriage Pacts When They Were Young Reveal How It Ended
People Who Made Marriage Pacts When They Were Young Reveal How It Ended
Love, marriage, and family are a goal for many people. But what if the right person doesn't come along? That's where a marriage pact with a friend comes in.
Reddit user garikay asked "Has anyone ever gone through with a marriage pact? You know, like a 'if we're not married by 30 we'll marry each other'? How did it work out?"
People shared their experiences with some happily ever afters and some not so happy stories too.
Only One Who Put Up with Me
Me and my best friend since 6th grade had a running joke that once we were single we should give it a go because chances are we would end up getting married since she's the only person who puts up with me and visa versa.
We got married last month after 5 years of dating.
All's Well that Ends Well
My wife and I dated during that awkward summer between high school and college and then she went her way and I went mine; we sort of joked about such a thing -- didn't really say, but a "wouldn't it be funny if? yeah, you know, that would work." I think I saw her for lunch like one time when we were 20ish. Anyway, ran into her again at a friend's party when I was 28 and we hit it off. She'd just gotten divorced from a two year marriage and I was just back from law school. It was nice as we both knew the other wasn't a psychopath -- more or less got on with one another's families. Had many of the same friends.
Anyway, here we are almost 20 years on from running into one another again -- married 16 years, couple of kids, life in the suburbs. All's good.
What's Meant to Be
Made one about 10 years ago with a very close friend (never dated, hooked up or anything like that, we just agreed this would make sense in the long run if we don't find our soulmates on the way to his 30th - he's a couple years younger than me). I'm now 30 and 6 1/2 months pregnant with the love of my life (not the guy I made the deal with). About two months ago, I met him and his girlfriend at the obgyn waiting room - I came for a regular pregnancy check and they came for the pregnancy confirmation. We laughed because we didn't share the news with each other yet and we never spoke about the pact with our partners. Now we're both waiting our firstborns with different people and sharing pregnancy joy and stuff. Turned out better than we could ever imagine.
Somewhat. I met my current girlfriend on World of Warcraft 11 years ago. I lived in Maryland and she lived in Missouri. I told her one day a long time ago "I'm going to marry you one day." Years went by with on and off talking. I didn't speak to her for the entire year of 2015. I messaged her last February and soon after, I was living here by July 1st 2016. Tonight during our get together we are having, I'm getting on my knee and asking her to marry me.
A For Effort
Sort of. Had a real close friend in high school that was a social butterfly and, for whatever reason, liked to hang out with awkward nerds like me. One day she suggested a marriage pact if we were both still single at 35, and I agreed with a laugh because, hey, I didn't expect her to remember me among all her other friends and there was no way she'd still be single by then.
After graduation her family moved clear to the other side of the country and I figured I'd just be another Facebook friend. But we stayed in touch and actually started talking more--I'm talking constant Skype webcam and phone calls way too late into the night. Turns out I was one of the few people that actually bothered to put anything into a continuing relationship, and about a year after graduation she confessed that she had fallen in love with me.
That was seven years ago. We're getting married in 29 days.
Check Back Later
One of my friends proposed a marriage pact sometime last year. I'll let you know in like 9 years!
Not That Into You
I had one of these with a friend, I'm now 33 and he's 35 neither of us are married still but I just don't want to marry him after all, and he doesn't really seem to want to marry me either. We were 17 and 19 when we made the pact.
Marry You Someday
I joined my high school graduating class in grade 11. It was a rural school and most people there had been classmates their whole lives. Come graduation and people were assigned partners for the graduation parade. I was assigned to a beautiful young lady who had a boyfriend a grade below us, while I had a girlfriend a grade below us. Some guys were ribbing me about my assigned grad "date" when another guy who was usually quiet spoke up and boldly stated, "I'm going to marry her." Everyone kind of just chuckled and we all headed to our next class. I was very impressed when I reconnected with my old classmates on Facebook years ago and saw that he did indeed marry her and they have grandchildren.
Party of One
I made a pact with a couple girls but forgot to tell them about it, so I'm single.
Some good friends of mine are both gay and lesbian (a gay man and a lesbian woman) - they decided if they didn't get in serious relationships they'd marry.
They have two wonderful kids together an they are amazing people.
They are still looking for their ideal same-sex partner, but it's very clear that they love each other and care much for their kids.
Yes, my cousin did, and it was heartbreaking. She is 6 years older than I am, (so 35 when this happened,) and apparently the guy she made the pact with was a Momma's Boy cranked up to 11. Made a marriage pact with someone she knew, watched her cousins and friends all get married and/or have babies back to back in the space of a couple of years, so they enacted their pact. Proposed Christmas Day, married on Valentine's, fast tracked a pregnancy.
In the first trimester things go south, Momma's Boy involves his mother in their marital squabbles who convinces him to leave his brand new pregnant wife. Wife gives the ultimatum: show up for the birth or stay gone. Guess who is back living with her parents with a new baby and a divorce in the works?
Better Than the Alternatives
Kinda. My husband and I were best friends in 8th grade and were those kids that kinda hated everyone else at our school. We always said we were going to get married when we got older "because everyone else sucks" but never dated in high school because we just went down different paths, but stayed good friends. Started talking more again after high school, started dating, and are now very happily married.
I made a marriage pact with my very good friend in 10th grade - around 1988 or so - that we'd get married at 27 if we were both still single. We had every class together for three years straight, got along famously, and were just greatly compatible. She went overseas for college and I joined the military, and she just stopped responding to letters after around 9 months.
1992, I get engaged, and suddenly run into her in a mall. I introduce my future wife, and my old friend loses her f'ing mind. Right in front of my future bride and all, middle of the shopping center, screaming at me about how I betrayed our agreement, I belonged with her, yadda yadda yadda. Calm as can be, my wife asks her why she stopped writing me then?
Like a lightswitch flipping, old friend starts bawling her eyes out, and plops down on the floor. We hurried the f' out of there, and I never saw her again.
Different Kind of Pact
My best friend and I made a pact when we were 18 that "If we're both still single when we're 30, let's just kill each other."
I'm a little older than her.
Not That Rural
At 18, my best friend and I jokingly made a marriage pact for when we'd turn 40. By 20 I told him we were too much like siblings and we'd never date. I love him like a brother and a romantic relationship.
Together by 27
I made one with my wife when we were kids, like 14-15. We lost touch because we went to different schools, had fairly different walks of life, etc. then randomly started talking on Facebook about 10 years later and ultimately got married about 3 years before the pact would've gone into effect
In high school my friend and I kinda had a crush on each other but nothing ever happened because he had a girlfriend. We promised that we would get married if we were both single by the time we were 40. We lost touch after we finished school and I ran into him a couple of years ago, added him on Facebook.
It turned out he became the biggest d-bag on my FB friends list and I'd probably rather die in a fire than hang out with him again.
Sorta, kinda. My husband and I met on ultima online...just 2 kids playing video games but swapped email addresses, AOL instant messenger, then Facebook in college. He always said we'd end up together one day and I was just kinda like yeah yeah. I flew from SC to PA to visit him after graduating college and we started dating, got engaged and married all within a year and a half. We never actually thought there would be a scenario in life where we'd meet face to face let alone end up together. We've been married 7 yrs this coming weekend.
I made this pact with my best male friend in high school. When we were about 20, he told me that even if he got married before 30 and i still wasnt married, he would divorce her for me, which i found to be an odd statement. We went our separate ways and I didn't hear back from him until I turned 31.
By this time, he was married and I was not. We spent the day together and he asks me, "Remember our marriage pact?" He wanted to divorce his wife for me. I declined.
Anyone remember Google Mystery Missions years ago?
If not, Mystery Missions was a site where you put in a request and other people had to fulfill that request. Each time you reloaded the page you'd get new ones to look through. I stumbled across hers looking for someone to talk to, this was about a decade ago we were both 14.
She was from Memphis, I from Chicago. We instantly became best friends. For years we talked every single day. Around 17/18 we made a marriage pact saying by 30 we'd marry if we were still single. At this point we knew we both had strong feelings for each other but the thought of being in the same place didn't seem possible at the time.
Since the pact, we lost touch here and there. It felt like a big piece of me was missing whenever that happened. We both had relationships that didn't work out. About two years ago we started talking about being in a relationship and just being together. I met her for the first time about 18 months ago. We're engaged, and she found a new job in Chicago.
Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.