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People Who've Turned Down A Proposal Reveal What Happened

No one wants to have a marriage proposal rejected. But like, don't be a creep and definitely don't tell the person you want to marry that you can't wait to "own them."

E3zyy asked Redditors: Who turned down a marriage proposal? How did it go and why?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


This was poorly planned.

My mother had a sweetheart back in the 50s who got her name tattooed on his arm and then proposed. She turned him down. [cue sad trombone]

Last she heard, he had married someone with the same name as her.

tinyahjumma

I mean, he'd kind of have to at that point...

LordEdmure

When she gives you gutterballs.

Not me, but some poor soul at my local bowling alley.

We were rolling rocks on a Friday night, the bowling alley was happening. The tunes stopped and the guy on the intercom asked if we could all direct our attention to lane 16.

A guy dropped to his knee and asked his lady friend to marry him. She said no. She looked embarrassed and stormed out.

He took a swig of his beer and rolled a ball down the lane. I'd like to think he thought the music would come back on and everyone would go about their business. Nope. Everyone was shocked and just watched him bowl like 4 times before the music came back on and he finally just sat down. Felt like an eternity of cringe.

beardedbarnabas

Bowling alleys are where proposals go to strike out.

grebilrancher

Points for creativity.

My mom turned down my dad's original proposal.

My parents had been dating for roughly three months when they got pregnant with me. They had moved in together and things had been going well. My mom was making dinner and my dad was on his knees fixing the kitchen door and out of nowhere he asks her to marry him. She thinks he's kidding and tells him he can't be serious. His exact line was "well I'm already on my knees." He had married before but had been separated from his ex wife for a number of years, but they were still technically married. So my mom told him he needed to get that figured out and propose in not such a dopey way.

Skate3158

My mum turned down my dad the first time because she didn't want her dad to make a speech at her wedding, so she planned to just not get married.

He told her no one had to make speeches and a few months later she proposed (and was accepted).

PeachPuffin

She chose wisely.

I found out my ex was cheating on me and immediately broke it off with him.

The next day he showed up on my doorstep, in the snow crying. When I went outside he got on one knee and presented me with a heart shaped ring.

I went back inside and baked cookies. It was a great a decision, as I met my current boyfriend a few years later and he makes me truly happy.

MermaiderMissy

I hoped there was some connection between you making cookies and meeting your future boyfriend. I hope he likes your cookies?

MP_Officer

She used her sadness and anger, and fuelled her passion for cookies in a cookie only store that thrives in the middle of New York, right under her huge designer studio appartment. She ends up dating the dishy regular customer, he turns out to also be a tw*t, and ends up realising her next door neighbor is the one when he buys out her cookie store to save her from financial hardship (he's secretly a millionaire/cookie CEO/prince).

Coming soon straight to DVD "Forever Cookie" starring OP as OP, Hugh Grant as the tw*t, and OP's boyfriend as the next door neighbor cookie prince millionaire.

MediocreAnchovies

I just watched so many terrible Hallmark Christmas movies this year and this is so perfectly accurate. Applause.

distractme17

This is only slightly creepy.

There was a weird guy who worked at a thrift store where a friend of mine worked when we were in high school; he was in his early 20s. I was about 16 when this happened; I became friends with a few members of the staff and he was a part of that group. He was always weird and kinda creepy but we had similar tastes in music and hung out with some of the same people. Teenage priorities. He was pretty upfront about finding me attractive from the get-go although I made it clear I wasn't into him in that way. Because I was so young and inexperienced with these things and pretty live-and-let-live I didn't see any reason to not be nice.

I agreed to go over to his apartment one time while killing time waiting for another friend to get home from her job so we could hang out. kept complimenting me and talking about how "perfect" I was. I cut the visit short because it wasn't sitting well with me.

The next time we hung out he tried to convince me to run off right then and there and elope with him. I thought he was joking at first. He wouldn't come off of it and then I realized he was actually serious. He had this weird intensity that was extremely off-putting. I left immediately when I realized he was actually serious and managed to never see him again. It's been 20ish years and I still feel gross typing this out. Was he actually joking? I hope so but jfc that was awkward.

TheRedPython

I'd say you dodged a bullet, but it's more like you dodged a semi truck jfc.

DukeDoozy

The voices in your head are not God.

High school bf had dumped me after two years, revealing that he had never truly loved me. I went to college, and we still had occasional contact over my first semester. When I came home for Christmas break, he asked me to give him a ride home from where we had been with a group of friends, telling me he needed to ask me something. In my car in front if his apartment, he told me that he didn't want an answer right then, to go home and pray about it, but God told him to ask me to marry him. I went home and went to sleep instead, then told him no thank you the next day. He seemed disappointed but totally unsurprised.

like_my_fire

but God told him to ask me to marry him

So do you think God was just messing with him?

thebobbrom

"goteeem" said God.

itsthemoney27

God decided he needed to be taken down a peg.

silly_gaijin

Same though, but now.

A girl asked to marry me in 3rd grade. I said no, I don't have time for marriage, I need to play with my friends.

She said OK. I went on to play with my friends.

All things considered, I think that went well.

NotMeTheVoices

Oh man. You just reminded me...I think I married another kid in like 2nd grade...like there was a whole pretend wedding and everything...with people in attendance... oh man...what am I going to tell my boyfriend...

NerdFighterChristine

That if he ever wants to propose to you, he needs to fight and win against your first "husband."

PlebbySpaff

How many cattle? We have standards.

Not me, but my wife.

While she was at BCT for the National Guard, (before we were married, but we had been dating about 5 years at that point) a guy with a very thick accent told her that he needed to speak to her father. Well, she has not had contact with her father since sometime early in high school (hell, I've never met him, never plan to either) and she told this guy such. He then went on and said that he must speak to her father. Eventually it comes out that he wants to speak to her father about her dowry. Something about his father has many cattle and he could provide for her very well. I think she told him something about how that's not how things are done in the US, her father had no say in who she married, and she was happily dating someone. Dude backed off and apparently was otherwise pleasant for the rest of the time there, just a monstrous amount of culture shock. I still laugh about it every time I remember her telling me about it.

SteevyT

very thick accent
his father has many cattle and he could provide for her very well
that's not how things are done in the US

F*ckin' Albertans!!

rainieriver

"Oh hey there fella. I need to talk to yer dad, eh."

profssr-woland

Am Albertan. Did offer my wife's dad 20 head of cattle. He insisted on 40. We settled on 30 head and a 1997 4x4 Chev pickup. Great success.

MossyMav88

Sage advice.

We'd only been together for a few months. Both military and stationed in Germany. I was about to deploy and my contract ended pretty much as soon as I was set to return. She said we should get married so we could stay together when I got back. I'd already been divorced at this point and wasn't about to marry some girl I'd only been with a few months. So I told her we'd see how we held up with me deployed and cross that bridge when we came to it.

About 2 months into my deployment she and a friend of mine eloped. I was hurt but boy did I dodge a bullet.

Also their marriage ended exactly how you'd expect... Divorced in less than 6 months. She was f*cking a couple other guys on the side and he was too stupid/naive to realize. Remember folks; if they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you.

jeremythelee

Oh, nope.

We had only been dating for about a month, he was pretty obsessive at first but I thought maybe it would just be a phase so I blew it off. One day, he brought me to a jewelers to get my ring size and I could pick out the ring. I also thought it was just a promise ring, no biggie, people do those kinda things early on as well. What got ME was when he bought it, took me to a park, got down on one knee and said "I love you baby...I knew I wanted to do this the moment we matched (unfortunately on Tinder)...you're the love of my life. Now I can show everyone that I own you. Will you marry me?"

He was gonna OWN me. Like a pet. I wanted to wring his neck for saying that. I don't get offended easily but saying "owned" really pissed me off. I helped him up back to his feet tho and we walked back to his car that he was current living in, right down the street from my condo so he could "keep an eye on me", and I told him I wasn't going to marry him and that I thought it was best we should break up and move on. I didn't feel comfortable having him drive me home so I took an Uber after that. Unfortunately, still being the obsessive guy he was, he tried with the coming to my condo every day with gifts and crying and just trying to make me feel bad and get back together. Then it got to him getting angry and threats. After about a month, he gave up. And I haven't seen him since, it's been a year now. Thank god.

Loves_me_tacos125

Now I can show everyone that I own you.

"BOI WHAT!?"

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The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood's searing novel, was written at the height of the Reagan administration and satirized political, social, and religious trends of the 1980s. It's also a hit television series on Hulu that returns on June 5.

While we still have a long way to go before we can find out what's next for June/Offred in the Republic of Gilead, we can, at the very least, regale you with some cool facts about one of the most enduring stories of the last three decades.

The Trailer for Season 3 Plays Off a Slogan from the Reagan Era

Perhaps the best thing that came out of the Super Bowl––aside from the memes haggling Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine, that is––was the trailer for the third season of the Hulu series.

The trailer lampoons former President Ronald Regan's 1984 "Morning in America" political campaign television commercial.

"It's morning again in America," you hear over a soundtrack and images that resound with boundless optimism. Things turn dark from there. Soon the camera freezes on Elisabeth Moss's face: "Wake up, America," she says.

Margaret Atwood's Follow-Up Will Be Released Later This Year

Margaret Atwood will release a sequel to The Handmaid's Tale titled The Testaments in September 2019. The Testaments is unconnected to Hulu's adaptation and will feature the testimonials of three female narrators from Gilead.

This literary device keeps with the metafictional epilogue that follows Offred's story in the original novel. The novel ends much in the way Season 1 ends: with Offred entering the van at Nick's insistence. The epilogue explains how the events of the novel were recorded onto cassette tapes after the beginning of what scholars have come to describe as "The Gilead Period." An interview with a noted academic implies that a more equitable society, one with full rights for women and freedom of religion restored, emerged following the collapse of the Republic of Gilead.

Serena Joy Waterford Is Likely Based On A Noted Conservative Activist

As the series goes on, we learn more about Serena Joy Waterford (Yvonne Strahovski) and her beginnings.

Serena was a conservative activist who, along with her husband Fred, spearheaded the Puritan movement that ultimately gave rise to Gilead. Inspired by women whom she perceives to have "abandoned" their families in the name of female autonomy, Serena Joy delivers impassioned speeches at venues around the nation calling for policies that would place women back in the home. She even wrote a bestselling book, A Woman's Place, that served as the vessel for much of her conservative dogma and inspired many of the Commander's Wives who become her friends and neighbors.

Serena was likely based on conservative activist Phyllis Schlafly, who established herself over many years as one of the fiercest antifeminist and anti-abortion advocates in the United States. Schlafly was also a vociferous opponent of the Equal Rights Amendment, which she considered an attack against traditional gender roles.

The 1990 Film Adaptation Had a Messy Production

A film version of The Handmaid's Tale was released in 1990. It starred Natasha Richardson as Offred, Faye Dunaway as Serena Joy, Robert Duvall as Commander Waterford, Aidan Quinn as Nick, Victoria Tennant as Aunt Lydia, and Elizabeth McGovern as Moira.

The film was not well received and had a messy production. Director Volker Schlöndorff replaced original director Karel Reisz amid internal bickering over a screenplay by Harold Pinter. Schlöndorff asked for rewrites, and Pinter, who was reluctant to do them, directed him to author Margaret Atwood, who was one of several who ended up making changes to Pinter's screenplay.

Pinter told his biographer years later [as quoted in Harold Printer, p. 304] that:

It became … a hotchpotch. The whole thing fell between several shoots. I worked with Karel Reisz on it for about a year. There are big public scenes in the story and Karel wanted to do them with thousands of people. The film company wouldn't sanction that so he withdrew. At which point Volker Schlondorff came into it as director. He wanted to work with me on the script, but I said I was absolutely exhausted. I more or less said, 'Do what you like. There's the script. Why not go back to the original author if you want to fiddle about?' He did go to the original author. And then the actors came into it. I left my name on the film because there was enough there to warrant it—just about. But it's not mine'.

Star Natasha Richardson reportedly felt "cast adrift" when much of Offred's interior monologue was sacrificed as a result of cuts made to the screenplay.

The Film and TV Series Aren't The Only Adaptations of This Seminal Work

There are several different adaptations of Atwood's seminal work, including, but not limited to:

  • an audiobook read by Homeland actress Claire Danes that won the 2013 Audie Award for Fiction
  • a concept album by Canadian band Lakes of Canada
  • a radio adaptation produced in 2000 for BBC Radio 4
  • an operatic adaptation that premiered in 2000 and was the opening production of the 2004–2005 season of the Canadian Opera Company.

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Between The West Wing, Mad Men, Top of the Lake, and The Handmaid's Tale, Elisabeth Moss has a reputation for starring in critically acclaimed television shows.

Much has been made, however, of her casting as Offred. Moss was born into the Scientologist belief system, which the German government has classified as an "anti-constitutional sect," the French government has classified as a cult, and the American government has allowed individuals to practice freely though not without considerable contention. Moss also identifies as a feminist.

Asked by a fan about the parallels between Gilead and Scientology (namely the belief that "outside forces" are inherently "evil") Moss responded:

"That's actually not true at all about Scientology. Religious freedom and tolerance and understanding the truth and equal rights for every race, religion and creed are extremely important to me. The most important things to me probably. And so Gilead and THT hit me on a very personal level."

An Episode During Season 2 Highlighted President Donald Trump's Border Crisis

Last summer, President Donald Trump and his administration created a crisis at the U.S.-Mexico border when he and Jeff Sessions, his former attorney general, announced their "zero tolerance" family separations policy. The president blamed Democrats for the policy, imploring them to "start thinking about the people devastated by Crime coming from illegal immigration."

As images and stories of children ripped away from their parents at the border began to circulate, the Season 2 episode "The Last Ceremony" showed just how timely the show really is: After Offred is raped by the Waterfords, Commander Waterford (Joseph Fiennes) allows June/Offred (Elisabeth Moss) to visit her daughter, Hannah, in an undisclosed location. June is given 10 minutes with her daughter before a guard forcibly separates them again.

The episode, written well before the crisis was initiated, premiered just as Homeland Security admitted that more than 2,300 children had been separated from their parents.

Another Episode During Season 2 Appeared to Predict Canada-U.S. Relations

The fallout between the United States and Canada during the G7 summit appeared to have reached its peak once President Donald Trump refused to sign a joint statement with America's allies and threatened to escalate a trade war between America's neighbors. He also referred to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau as "weak."

The Season 2 episode "Smart Power"––in which Canadian diplomats ban Gilead's representatives from the country and choose to stand with the women imprisoned in the totalitarian nation in a nod to the #MeToo movement––was written and premiered before the G7 blowup, but is no less prophetic.

In Season 2, Kate Bush's "This Woman's Work" Becomes an Ode to Female Resilience

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Pray God you can cope
I'll stand outside
This woman's work
This woman's world
Ooooh it's hard on a man
Now his part is over
Now starts the craft of the FatherI
know you've got a little life in you left
I know you've got a lot of strength left
I know you've got a little life in you yet
I know you've got a lot of strength left
I should be crying but I just can't let it show
I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking
All the things we should've said that I never said
All the things we should have done that we never did
All the things we should have given but I didn't
Oh darling make it go
Make it go away
















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"The Handmaid's Tale" Was the First Streamed Series to Win the Best Drama Series Emmy

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