People With Golden Hearts Share Their Most Wholesome Secret.

From giving away a vacation lottery win to a coworker, to secretly buying new clothes for a poor friend, people share their most wholesome secret.

A small act of kindness can really turn someone's day or life around.

[Source can be found at the end of the article]

During the middle of my junior year of high school a girl transferred from another nearby school because she was bullied and harassed both in person and online. 

After a lot of digging online, I found her old and eventually used a variation of her url to find her Tumblr. After scrolling through her blog, I found out she was actually super into singing and that her idol was Haley Williams, the lead singer of Paramore. So one day in class I causally said that she reminds me of "this singer from a band I like" and the look of absolute joy on her face when I said Haley Williams from Paramore was absolutely incredible. After that, she was visibly way more comfortable and confident and she even got a few people together to rehearse as a band! 

They played at our school's talent show senior year and the first song of their set was by Paramore.


I secretly drop pennies. For many years, my Uncle used to bend down and pick up every penny he came across, which was maddening to my Aunt who was worried the neighbors would see him and assume they were poor, needing every penny the could find. They used to tease each other about it.

My Uncle got cancer and passed away after a very long struggle. After the funeral we were walking to the car and my Aunt saw a penny, and said, "Oh John is thinking of me. He left this penny for me today." So whenever I am around my Aunt, I purposely drop pennies on the ground for her to find. I haven't been caught yet, and I hope I never do.


I'm taking my science geek housemate to Switzerland to go to CERN on the weekend.

I've tricked him into taking Friday and Monday off work, stolen his passport, slowly been stealing his clothes from him when he's hung them up to dry.

I'm an expert packer so I've fit all we need for the weekend in one backpack so it won't look unusual when we leave for our 'day out at the beach' on Friday.

I was ill for a while and he was practically my nurse so I owe him. I LOVE surprises.


My almost 16 year old thinks he's saving for a car. He's actually saved about $11,000.

He doesn't know I'm going to buy him a car and he can use that money for something else.


When I was a kid I used to always twist the quarter machines on the way into stores just in case. Got lucky a couple of times and a few free toys. Now that I'm grown if I'm leaving a store with them I like to drop change into them if I have it and leave them half twisted.


Every year for my mums birthday when we go on a night out, I give people money to buy two shots. One for them, one for my mum. I just ask them to go over and wish her a happy birthday and give her the shot. It's great watching her talk about it to everyone that will listen, how so many people knew it was her birthday and she got all these free drinks, how special she felt. Its worth the money just to see her face light up and get that sparkle back in her eyes.


I've had my cat for 18 years. I've had my husband for 3 years. He always wanted a cat and never had one.

Their love is strong and true, but obviously the cat is slightly more attached to me. My husband loves that cat so much, and gets a little bit of a thrill out of the idea that the cat loves us equally even though I had a 15 year head start.

What my husband doesn't know is that I sometimes intentionally annoy the cat so that he will go snuggle with my husband instead, because it is so damn cute how giddy my husband gets about it.


Without revealing too much information, my previous job had a major perk: a lottery system in which the winners got to accompany a group to various locations in the world for a hybrid vacation/work trip.

I won the lottery one year and was selected to go to Istanbul.

I heard a coworker talking to her spouse on the phone about how bummed she was she did not get it (she was selected as my backup, but did not know who she was backing up). She had hoped to visit a long lost family member. She is a quiet, sweet, helpful person. Very behind the scenes, rather under-appreciated.

I gave up my spot due to a "prior commitment". She got to go instead. I had a great time looking at her pictures.


I offer people I know lifts home even if they're totally the opposite direction to where I'm going, because walking home in the cold and dark sucks way more than an extra ten minutes in the car, and it's nice having a chance to get to know people in that setting.


I saw a man in a wheelchair sitting in the rain and asked if he needed help going somewhere and he did. So I pushed him to his destination, about a twenty minute walk.

I went home late and got scolded by parents who didn't believe me.

I guess it's a secret that it's true!


When I see two girls walking by and one is clearly more beautiful than the other I keep the eye contact with the less attractive one and smile.

In school I was not very attractive, not very athletic and not very popular. There was a company of popular girls and a couple of them would always say hi to me, although they were not friends with me, congratulate me on my birthday, invite me to events. These little gestures can mean a world to people with low self esteem.

Those small tokens of attention from those girls inspired me to get my life together in college, do sports, socialize more, pay attention to details, and not be a jerk.


A friend of mine has problems with paying his bills. His parents don't support him that much and he can't get a good student loan because of stupid regulations. He often gets containers of food at a local super market and then invites me to dinner and to hang out. He is about to get his bachelor degree, and has to be in lab almost all day, thus he cannot work more than a few hours a week. I sometimes leave $5-20 randomly lying around in his room to support him. He wouldn't take the money if I gave it to him directly.


My aunt was gonna be short for her rent. I paid the landlord and told him to say that she paid it earlier in the month. She was so happy about it. 

She made steaks for supper and paid extra on other bills so she'd be ahead of them as well.


Me and my friends once bought a valentine gift for a boy who wasn't very popular in our class. We didn't put our names on it, but he was so happy to have received one, he kept turning it over and over in his hands all day.


My kids have bank accounts into which I deposit their Christmas and birthday money. Sometimes their mom and I will agree to use some of that money to buy things for them, but I actually pay for it out of my own money and let their savings build up.


When I'm in the car with my military-hardened dad, he will occasionally go on long rants about how much he loves, respects, and appreciates my mom for everything she does, and he'll start saying these things completely unprompted and out of the blue, and my mom has no idea.

I've started recording these with my phone without him knowing, and plan to throw them all together into one big file and play it for them on one of their anniversaries.


When my girlfriend and her kid come to visit, I don't order pizza because I'm feeling lazy. I order pizza because it makes the kid super happy. I always make sure to get extra pineapples, because that's the kid's favorite, even though her mom and I don't really care for them that much.

It's worth eating pizza that is mediocre to see a 4-year-old beaming because she gets pizza.


I'm about to have "the talk" with my girlfriend's dad before I propose. He's a huge hockey fan, so I bought two tickets to the Blackhawks' first playoff game. He's only had daughters so he's never had the bonding-dude experience of a few beers and live sports. Screw a casual get together, we're going big.

I'm so excited to just show up at the house and be like "GET UP, GET YOUR GEAR AND LET'S GO! I HAVE TICKETS!

It's super secret but I had to tell someone.


One time when I was like 14, on my dad's friend's land, I was sitting on my quad parked next to my dad and his friend T. T's nephew (9) and stepson (13) were riding their motorcycles around about 100 yards off when we hear a loud crash, and the kids yelling.

T drops his last beer, gestures to commandeer my four wheeler and he and my dad take off over there. I notice that the beer tipped over, so I pick it up, brush all the dirt off of it and sit it back up right where he dropped it. After everything's said and done, scrapes and bruises accounted for, he comes back to find his beer standing upright. The look on his face was priceless, he thanks the ale gods for saving his beer, and told the story of his magic beer.

I decided I'd never ruin it. I'm the beer god. Sometimes I swap the almost empty beers in friends' coozies out with fresh ones without them ever noticing. Nobody's sure who does it. Gotta keep the magic alive.


Not about me, but it's a secret that nobody knows except me. My dad walked out on me when I was 14, but he kept in touch with my older brother. He bought my older brother a car, a $3,000 DSLR camera (when they were a new thing), took him on trips, etc. He hasn't said a word to me since I was 14, though. It's messed up.

Anyway, when I turned 16 my grandfather went out and bought me a car. He'd have me over a couple weekends every month to help him around the house, help work on the boats with him, etc. At the time I thought he just needed help. I thought my problems with my dad were my fault for misbehaving for something, and that nobody in my family knew about them except me and my mom. The older I get, the more I realize my mom must have gone to him over the way my father was treating me, and he stepped in to help raise me. He was the best man I ever knew.


Several years ago my wife totally surprised me for my birthday with a fully planned trip for me and my brother to visit a friend of ours that moved to Colorado. She booked the flights, rental car, and she worked with the other 2 to make sure I had a full weekend planned. She was so proud of herself.

Except it wasn't a secret. 3 weeks before the date, Delta Airlines called my phone to inform me of a change to one of my flights. When they said Denver, I started putting the pieces together. As the day drew closer, I went along with everything she told me to do. The day of she woke me up real early to go shower and while I did she packed my bag and loaded it in my brothers truck who was outside waiting on me.

She wrote me a long letter explaining what where she was sending me, but only after I had left. It was really really sweet, and she put a lot of effort into the whole thing. I acted as surprised and shocked as I possibly could.

I'll take this secret to my grave, at least from her. She talks about it sometimes, and still to this day claims she has done the best surprise gift. I agree 100%.


There's a certain place in my town where the homeless guys and girls go. I save 100 a month and spend it on essentials for them. Most of them are addicts and probably won't ever get back into a stable place. 

So I just wanna help them live the life they have, however I have helped a very few get into night and day shelters, which in turn they got the help they needed. Of course, I've never told a soul. The guys and girls I help think my name is Justin. I love seeing them smile every other Friday that I visit them.


My best friend's mom passed away from cancer 4 years ago on Easter Sunday, she was like a second mom to me. She was very religious and always dreamed of going to Jerusalem.

When she passed away, my best friend became reckless and would try to drown his feelings in booze and cover up the dark with the bright lights of clubs and women. This went on for a couple years.

Eventually, my best friend hit beyond rock bottom to where he was living in his car with only a backpack of clothes and his mom's ashes. I let him stay with me and he turned it around. He stopped going to bars. He started caring again. He started saving money. He decided he would spread his mom's ashes in Jerusalem.

Well, he got into a car accident last month and totaled his car. Not his fault. Someone plowed through a red light. Medical bills and attorneys fees drained his savings. But it's okay. He told me how there was a bank error and someone deposited $3000.00 into his bank account. 

He's all set to be in Jerusalem around Easter and my Hawaii trip is postponed for now. Feels good though.


I tell people my animals don't like others so they feel special, even though my animals are super cuddly and easy going.


When I was 17 years old my best friend and I decided to take the snowmobiles out for a ride in the blizzard. We thought it would be amazing to hit some fresh forming powder and drifts. The visibility was low so we stuck to the main roads.

We ended up on a desolate road with two homes and acres and acres of farm land. As we got close to the homes we noticed some lights and went over to see what was going on. It turned out that the old couple living there had ventured out to the store to get food in case they got snowed in. They made the long drive and everything went fine (they had to have hit several drifts that were 1-4 feet tall). Things only went wrong when they slowed down to turn into the drive. They didn't dare leave their car out because they feared a snow plow would hit it. My friend and I in full snow gear, helmets and face masks dug the car out and shoveled the driveway and made sure they got the car in the garage.

I thought that was the end of the story. I didn't even mention anything to my parents. Lo and behold the next day at church this couple was there. Our church gives time for the congregation to get up and talk about their beliefs/faith building stories. Sure enough the old man gets up and starts telling about their trip to the store last night. He talked about getting stuck and worrying he would never get his car unstuck and destroyed by a snow plow. He then said two angles appeared, barely spoke, unstuck his car and disappeared as quickly as they arrived. He said that he had been pleading with the Lord for some help but figured it could never arrive because no one ever travels that road. My mom looked at me and knew it was me. She didn't say anything, I didn't say anything.


I have a friend who is really poor. We wear the same size clothing. I give him my old clothing but what he doesn't know is I go out and buy new clothes for him and just say they're stuff I got lucky with at thrifts stores, on super sale, or just stuff someone got for me but I realized it didn't go well on me.


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Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.