"No one taught him this."
If you're reading this and have a pet, take a quick glance over at him/her right now. Done it? Good.
You have no idea what they're thinking. Let that sink in because that's a terrifying thought. Any animal has their own collection of likes and dislikes, as anyone who's tried to feed a cat a new brand of dry food knows. However, sometimes they just do stuff for no particular reason and it makes little to no sense. So what do you do? Share it online!
Reddit user, u/Smack_Of_Ham7, wanted to know about the inexplicable and wild things our beloved pets do when they asked:
Pet owners, what are some weird things that your pet does?
"Oh, you're home? Who cares...?"
Every day when we come home from work, my cat comes to the door to greet us. However, she doesn't want to look too eager. When we go to open the door, she runs to the nearby scratching post and starts tearing it up, before shooting us a look like "Oh, did you walk in? I didn't notice; just happened to be here, totally coincidentally."
Our cat does this greeting too, but instead of giving us a look she leisurely finishes scratching her post and then saunters off into our condo building hallway to get her 5 minutes of freedom lounging "outside".
Just Keeping Count
Used to have a Blue Heeler and anytime nobody was home and the phone rang, he'd go get a shoe and leave it in the kitchen.
Come home and there's 4 shoes you know there was 4 calls.
No one taught him this.
When They Absolutely Need That Fresh, "Meadow-y" Scent
Our cat doesn't care about treats, meat, cheese, milk, or fish.
But she goes absolutely bonkers for fabric softener sheets. My wife and I have taken to collecting drier sheets after each laundry session like we're collecting empty shells from a mob hit, then throwing them away separately. If we throw them in the trash, our tiny cat digs them out.
My cat has anxiety so he licks himself bald on his stomach and his legs. He is also a 20 pound cat so he has this bald little stomach that swings when he walks.
And also a d-ck sometimes.
Thinking about trying CBD oil on him.
What's That In The Corner Of Your Eye? A 'Fowl' Sight
My Turkey Leslie is always creeping around behind us.
We call her the Lurky Turkey.
I've got a million selfies where we later realize leslie is lurking.
Edit 2: https://imgur.com/a/mFl0JeK
When You Don't Know How To Sleep...
My daughter's hamster sometimes sleeps upside down in one of the cage's vertical tubes. He splays his limbs to fix himself in place and then just sleeps there.
It's really weird.
That's adorable, do you have any photos of it? My hamster will sometimes fall asleep half-off of her wheel, with her face and front legs on the ground.
Cat loves being vacuumed.
Will hear the vacuum on and walk up to it, bug you until you vacuum them with the hose part
Can We All Agree Cats Are Just Weird?
All three of my cats have quirks.
Arthos, my husband's 13-year old orange floof has his routine of bringing all three squeaky toys up two flights of stairs, and meows while he has them in his mouth. He then places them at the foot of the bed and crawls into bed with us.
Buggy - my special needs rescue loves to just sit for hours straight and lick plastic bags. He also picks up his kibble with his paws and eats it instead of eating out of the bowl.
Little One - is an attention whore. I've never met a cat that constantly wants attention from everybody. When people come to visit, they all say he is just the best kitty anyone has ever met. (meanwhile, Buggy is going into hysterics upstairs because STRANGER DANGER).
Also, Arthos likes to bite and rub on smelly feet. He has a weird foot fetish.
Also, none of my cats have messed with my christmas tree. They're good boys! :)
So Happy He Was Confused?
My old dog...anytime he saw someone crying.
He'd pick up his rear leg in his mouth, then hop around on three legs. it was the stupidest f-cking things I've ever seen and everyone would laugh when he did it.
My parents told me he did it as a puppy when he tried to get a stick and got his leg instead. But he must have remembered everybody laughing and being happy because he'd do it whenever anyway was sad and crying.
It was the stupidest sweetest thing I have ever seen a dog do. We got him from a shelter after my dad got a promotion at work. He told my brother and I we could either get a dog, or we could get cable (we were very poor pre-promotion. And still not well off post-promotion). We picked the dog. Best decision ever.
...To Be Fair, No One Likes The Dishes
Our cat screams at us when we do the dishes
I scream when I do the dishes too
Scenery Is Vital To The Enjoyment Of Your Meal
My dog will take a bite from her food dish, walk 8-10 feet away and chew and swallow, then go back to get more food and start the cycle again.
Our dog does the same thing. Except he takes a mouthful, walks away, drops it on the ground, then picks it up piece by piece.
They Just Want To Make Sure You're Okay
My cat named Pig meows at me after I sneeze to bless me.
When I sneeze my dog will come running to my side to make sure I'm ok. Every single time. She's 13 and still does it.
I have a purebred lab that refuses to lab.
She won't fetch, she won't retrieve, she won't go get, she hates playing with a ball, and she will not swim.
She's otherwise a great dog, very friendly and loves kids. She's just an impostor towards her breed.
But will she try to eat her own weight in food, given the opportunity?
The only true measure of a Lab.
Cats Are Literal Life-Savers!
My cat has in the past alerted me to low blood sugar (insulin dependent diabetic) by being annoying until I realized I was feeling shitty. She doesn't do it when I catch it myself though, almost like she knows I'm so distracted I just need a reminder. She's my everything ❤
I had one! I had hypo seizures my first 5 years as a type 1 and being a lazy angsty tween didn't always take the best care. Lumpy would stand on my chest and lick my face until I got up and treated it.
Well, I Don't Think It's Really A Pleasant Experience For Any Of Us
My dog hates pooping. He will not tell you when he has to poop. You must ask him. Then when you let him out you have to remind him what he's out there to do. He then stared at you while he poops, and comes running full speed when he's done.
My rabbit is really sweet and very calm- unless you wear anything with zebra print. Then he will lunge, scratch, and bite. It sets him OFF. We found out because my mom bought atrocious zebra patterned fleece pajamas. We didn't know he was capable of such aggression honestly.
It Gets Your Attention, Doesn't It?
When I am sitting on the couch doing something that does not involve my cat and he decides he needs attention, he will get on the back of the couch and gnaw on my hair.
I have a small French bulldog. My wife named her Audrey Hepburn.
Miss Hepburn will let me know when it's bed time at around 9 pm, by jumping up into my lap. Then putting her lips on my lips and stare directly into my eyes without blinking. All while doing a quiet groan (the kind Frenchies are known for). She won't move until I carry her to the bed so she can sleep.
She also has a ton of energy and wants to play nonstop. She will play until she gets to the point of falling asleep while standing, with her toy in her mouth. She has the biggest personality I have ever seen in a dog.
You Groom Yourself Daily, Why Not Her Too?
In the morning when my alarm goes off, my cat runs to the bathroom and sits on the toilet seat or in the sink and waits for me to shower. When I get out, she will prod me until I brush her. If I do not brush her, she will leap from the sink to my naked shoulders and headbutt me until I do.
His Tail Is Out To Get Him
My cat has a sentient tail. Every now and then it starts flicking like crazy and the cat starts running all over the house like he's trying to escape it. One time he was sitting on my chest and his tail hit me in the face. He gave it the most angry look I've ever seen on him and slammed a paw down on it, then bit it like he couldn't believe Tail would do that.