Police Officers Reveal The Arrests They Regret Making

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Police officers often have to make tough decisions when they're on the job, and not every case they deal with is necessarily black and white.

That was theme behind today's burning question from Redditor DarkAura777, who asked the online community: "Cops of Reddit: What was your biggest, "I truly am sorry I have to arrest you moment" and why?"

Officers and others in the field had plenty to say.

"The lady drove 3 miles..."

I draw the blood for DWI arrests so not a cop but... I was sitting in the assistant district attorney's office when an officer calls in and he stated that he felt horrible arresting this lady for drunk driving (even though she was plastered) because she was at her boyfriends house and they all were drinking and the boyfriends friend started trying to assault her and her boyfriend did nothing about it. so she hit the friend in the head and got in her car and fled from danger.

Another driver called her into 911 for swerving. The lady drove 3 miles and made it to a gas station where she was found trying to call her friends on her phone for help. He felt bad that he had to bring her in but the ADA didn't accept any charges on her and the officer took her to her friends house. Two other officers went back to the boyfriends house and they got arrested with existing warrants and the assault.

Seeing that woman sitting in the jail for the few minutes she was there was heartbreaking. She was covered in scratches and her clothes were torn. I'm so glad they didn't charge her.


"As a probation agent..."

As a probation agent, I was supervising Tim, early 20s on probation for Possession of Narcotics.

Tim lived in assisted living apartments due to severe mental health. Great person who just needed help learning more about his mental health.

I received a report that Tim started to like one of the staff members, Stacy. She worked 3rd shift at their main house and often handed out medication. I talked to Tim about healthy boundaries between client and staff.

Well, fast forward a couple days, Tim checked himself in the hospital because he tried to make a few advances with Stacy but it was denied. Stacy described it as "scary" as she was working in the main house and he followed her in a room and shut the door. Another staff member intervened. She then proceeds to make a report about other behaviors like he stares at her and tries to be around her. He was arrested and had a short term jail hold (4 days) and we placed a no contact.

Fast forward a few weeks, I received another report from Stacy stating Tim continues to linger around the main building when she's there at night. The night before, she was on med duty and he went to pick up his medication. She asked him to leave multiple times but he never did. He continued to try to make advances towards her. Finally, a staff member walked in and told him to leave. Which he then left. She feels extremely unsafe.

I issue a warrant and go to his apartment. I am waiting for police to arrive and I ask him about that contact. He kept repeated, "I shouldn't have listened to her" However, he wouldn't go in much depth. Police arrive and he goes to jail.

I staff with my supervisor if we should revoke his probation as Tim is engaging in stalking behavior. I was finishing up my investigation and Tim adamantly denied Stacy ever telling him to leave that night. Finally, he breaks down and said they've been having a relationship for the past few months. Sure, checked his Facebook account, and it is apparent they were dating. She assured him no one will find out. Arranging times to meet. Extremely flirty and sexual messages were sent between them.

Stacy told me he was stalking her so she wouldn't lose her job. She reported the gestures as unwanted because other staff members caught them together.

I was pissed that he went to jail let alone we almost proceeded with revocation. I felt awful and apologized for the time he spent in jail.

This was reported to the supervisor. But she didn't lose her job. Anyone else would have their social work listened revoked or face criminal charges. She just kept on working there. The county moved Tim to a different program.

TLDR: Client was accused of stalking a staff member of his assisted living program. Turns out staff and client were in a relationship and staff made a false report so she wouldn't get fired.


"I once got a call for domestic violence."

I once got a call for domestic violence. Another officer and I park are cars halfway up the block (for safety reasons) and start walking up to the house when we're approached by a man. He tells us that we're there to arrest him, but he refuses to give a statement, he just says he's sorry. We put him in handcuffs pending the investigation, and I go inside.

Short end is that dad was drunk, didn't like the way the son #1 was talking to him, and started beating him. Mom tried to step in and got pushed down, son #2 tries to help, but dad attacks him and chases him out of the house. Mom and son lock themselves in the bathroom and daughter, who was frightened, runs to a neighbor's house. Mom and two sons agree on what happened, so it's an easy arrest.

But inside the house there was a door with a bunch of locks on it that piqued my curiosity. It was obviously used to lock someone inside. Mom and sons wouldn't tell me what it was for, so I asked dad. He said that the door was thier daughter's room. His sons would assault her at night so they locked her in to protect her. He said son # 1 had been arrested for it, but he wasn't given any jail time and a judge said it was okay as long as they locked the daughter in her room at night. He told me that when he drank he would get angry at his sons, but felt guilty that he did.

When I asked dad about it, he said that he had a hard time dealing with it at the time and left everything up to his wife.

CPS ended up doing an emergency removal on the daughter and another small child. I still had to arrest dad for attacking his family, but I felt bad for it. I have no idea what happened to any of them after that.


"Not sure how the guy ended up here..."

Just happened. Not sure how the guy ended up here but he had no phone, no family to call. Wasn't welcome at the homeless shelter because he was caught drinking there. Very cold outside. Mental health evaluated him and kicked him free saying they couldn't help. Didn't have any vouchers or money to stay at a motel. He asked to go to jail. I warned him of trespassing at the police department for the next 24 hours. He refused to leave. Arrested for trespassing. Was the best worst option.


"It was Christmas Eve..."

It was Christmas Eve at a super fancy hotel downtown in my city. Lady drove her vehicle into a parking barrier and hotel security called it in. Got out there and she had her daughter in the car with her. Mom had recently bought her a Christmas puppy, a tiny little corgi. So anyways, I called for one of our DWI units to do the test because it's a a felony for the child passenger. Mom fails and we have to handcuff her. She tried to run and my partner takes her to the ground as he falls slipping all in front of daughter and Christmas puppy.

Mom goes to jail and I had to stay with the little girl until her aunt arrived. Learned dad walked out on them earlier in month and mom was having a tough time dealing with it. Mom needed to go to jail, she was drunk but I felt for her and her daughter.


"I'm no longer a cop..."

I'm no longer a cop but my first ever DUI arrest was a guy I went to a very small college with and we graduated together. I knew his family, his dog's name; we were friends.

He was weaving all over both lanes and running onto the shoulder on both sides of the road. He cried and begged me to just let him go and he'd walk home and that he was sorry.

He had to go to jail.


"Had a patient..."

Not a cop but a paramedic. Had a patient that was driving on a Freeway at 100km/h when she started having a seizure. A man also driving on the Freeway noticed her slumped at the wheel so he sped up, pulled in front of her then used his car to slow hers down.

I rock up, assess and go to transport the lady to hospital. Cops rock up as they do and find the man had warrants out for his arrest. Slightly awkward, but he had to leave his car on the Freeway and go off to the cells.


"She was called to a shoplifting incident..."

I've told this story here before but I used to live with a cop.

She was called to a shoplifting incident and found a young, totally emaciated looking boy (couldn't have been older than 12) who the shopkeeper had pinched stealing some bare essential, a loaf of bread or a can of beans or something.

She and her partner did everything they could to talk him out of pressing charges on the kid but the shop keeper insisted and unfortunately her partner that day happened to be a superior or something and whether or not to follow through with the arrest was out of her hands. She had to take this crying, scared, starving boy to juvenile prison with teenagers who had committed real crimes.

She did everything she could to ensure he got immediate social services attention and lobbied to keep the charges from appearing on his record at all. But she still felt broken having to do that to a kid who needed help.


"My mother..."

My mother told me about a case she had. She didn't make the arrest but was the investigator. So basically the woman was stalked by her ex and constantly harassed. She tried to go to the police about it, 17 times, with proof and everything and they didn't do shit.

So she and her friends kidnapped him, beat him up and threw him naked in a ditch.


"So I'm finishing up some preliminary paperwork..."

So I'm finishing up some preliminary paperwork in the Dollar General parking lot in reference to a shoplifting when I see a pickup go passed me at a high rate of speed. I didn't have the opportunity to radar or pace it, but it was highway speeds in a 35. So I get on him after the 7 or 8 blocks to catch up he turns into the cemetery. I activate lights and here we goooooooo...

Get out, signs of an obvious DUI. I begin Standardized Field Sobriety Tests when he starts bawling. Gotta play the nice guy, tell him to take his time and collect himself. Well he asks, through his tears, if we can move to a different area. This is an issue, because the cemetery isn't very flat and the area we were was more optimal than any other area nearby. Well then I look behind him and see a tombstone with a familiar name. This guy was doing SFSTs in front of his dead mother.

Within the past two years, this guy had is house burn down, his mother died, and his wife divorced. And I knew all of this.

I didn't feel bad or guilty making the arrest, it definitely had to happen. However, I did feel for the person. I can only hope he's working to better himself now. This was about four months ago.


"Friend of mine..."

Friend of mine who is a cop woke me at 3 in the morning to tell me this story. I completely understand why, I would be bawling my eyes out at making an arrest he did.

He was called in to deal with a domestic dispute and arrested the woman because she beat the ever loving sh!t out of the man. He told me he probably had a broken nose and wouldn't be shocked if he had vision problems one of his eyes for the rest of his life. My friend brought the woman in and she had some fresh marks as well, a couple cuts and a solid bruise on her arm. She also had a couple wounds that had clearly been there for a couple days and a couple that looked like they had just healed.

My friend thinks that the man was abusing her for the longest time and she just snapped and defended herself.

Thing friends mother was also abused by his father, so arresting who seemed to be the overall victim broke his heart.


"Legal limit..."

Legal limit in our state for drink driving is .05.

Setup a random site on a straight stretch of road, could probably see us for 2km in every direction.

This guy comes through, with his 2 kids in the back. He's returning home from a mates birthday.

Blows .06. Just over. He lived 3 houses down from where we setup the site... he could've gone backstreets or dodged us 50 different ways, but he was too honest / thought he was okay.

Felt bad then!


"I was in law school..."

Not a cop but a prosecutor. I was in law school working as a prosecutor for my summer job under the supervision of an assistant DA. I'm getting ready for my first trial of the summer. It's a fairly bad one. This guy was drunk and lit a random car on fire. The fire spread to the house because it was under a connected structure. An elderly man was inside and barely escaped and is messed up from smoke inhalation.

So it's my first week in the office (but my second summer, so I'm comfortable just stepping in and doing the work). My job is going to be jury selection and nothing else to get me back in the groove. In walks the defendant through the jail door into the courtroom, shackled at the wrists and ankle. I instantly recognize him. It's a guy who I used to work with/had some classes with who was constantly trying to convince my college girlfriend to date him instead of me.

I told my boss I needed to recuse myself from the case, but I stuck around and watched him get convicted. Ended up talking my boss into a lighter sentence recommendation though by vouching for his character/potential before he became an alcoholic. Ended up recommending, and getting, jail time plus rehab. I assume he's out by now.


"I got a call to a barber shop..."

I got a call to a barber shop at like 4 AM for a women outside who wanted her boyfriend, who she stated was on the inside, to give her her house key back. She initially told me that she had no way to get into her house because her boyfriend, now Ex, had the key and so she needed it back. She also decided it was a good time to tell me he had a felony warrant. I ran him and sure enough he had one.

I felt bad for her so I started to pound on the front door of this barbershop. I knew he probably wasn't going to answer so I yelled something about if he didn't open up I would report the barbershop to our problem properties unit for having someone sleeping overnight in the business.

Sure enough he comes to the door and opens it up. I immediately recognize him as a Janitor at one of the grocery stores I frequented while working midnight's, as it was the only thing open to get food. He was always really cool with me and seemed like a really hard working guy. He explains to me he has no key of hers and the only reason she is there is because she knows he has a warrant and she just wants him to go to jail. He said he planned on turning himself in soon but just wanted to get some things straightened out first with his kids.

Unfortunately I had already run his information on my car computer so I had no choice but to arrest him for the warrant. I felt so terrible but he was very understanding. I sit him in my patrol car and while another officer watches him I go and speak with her again. I tell her I wasn't able to get a key so she would have to find another way to get inside the house. She tells me that's ok she has a spare key....

I ask her for her information now and go run her and am praying to whatever God is out there that she also has any type of warrant as I was going to arrest her too. But she does not and she gets to go on her merry way.

On the way down to intake I ask the guy why he had to come to the door. Said it was his friends barbershop and he didn't want him to get in trouble over his drama. I felt so bad because I had to tell him I was just bluffing and none of that would have happened. Still feel terrible to this day.


Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.