Police Officers Divulge The Weirdest Things People Have Done In Their Backseat

You're under arrest.

But somehow it doesn't stop there. People get crazy while handcuffed in the back of squad cars... and police officers are over it.

So u/pimphatmanatee asked the Police officers of Reddit to unload some of their stories:

Police officers of Reddit, what is the weirdest thing someone has done in the back of your squad car?

Here were some of the answers.


My buddy works a different section than me. Anyways, he books a guy for Public Intox, homeless dude acting a fool. While driving to the magistrates, he sees the dude hunched over crying from the backseat camera. He asked him whats wrong and the guy says he doesn't feel well and he needs EMS. My buddy stops and opens the back seat and blood in running down his leg. My buddy, thinking this dude has a laceration or something starts to get out his tourniquet for his leg. Unbuckles him, and tries to get his pants off only to see that its no cut and blood is discharging from his penis. My buddy is in shock and calls for EMS immediately.

On Ice

My brother is a cop. Had a female stash her iPhone in her vagina so they couldn't go through her call records (I forget why) while in his car. Took a female officer an hour to retrieve it. Suspect sneezed and it went skidding across the floor. Was bagged for evidence.

Nappin' Kids

Sheriff Deputy here. I arrested a one arm sex worker and forgot to take her phone away so while on our way to jail she called 911 to say she was being kidnapped. Dispatch told the entire county what's up (while laughing) and that was embarrassing to explain to everyone after I got back.

Le PuPu

I have a patient who is a cop. Apparently there's a lot of pooping happening in the back of police cars.


Local town PoPo here. I work in municipality of about 8000 residents and we run usually 2-3 coppers to a shift. It's not a crazy busy town but we have our nutty calls. Anyways, we are supposed to have an animal control guy who is sent to catch all the runaway dogs in town. At the time he was out on medical leave for rolling his ankle while attempting to lasso a raccoon. In his absence, us patrolmen are supposed to respond and catch all the loose doggos.

On this particular day I had been called to a cute black and white Pitbull male adult by the name of Viking running rampant in our town. I locate him and he was just so happy see me, wagging his tale and licking like there was no tomorrow. He had dog tags with an address and number, so he hopped in the back of my car as mah new k-9 pal and we where off to reunite him with his family.

Just as we pull off we get an all hands on deck call of a drunk female battering a shop clerk and trashing his store because he won't sell her alcohol. So with Viking riding In the back, I hit the ole cherries and berries and we take off to assist my partner who had already been close to the call.

As I arrived my partner had already taken her out of the store and put her in handcuffs. She was still upset crying and screaming about how she didn't do anything (clearly). I take a peek inside to see his store utterly trashed, beef jerky and chips ahoy thrown about. Shelving and fixtures completely ripped down and destroyed. Sometime during the altercation little pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream had been thrown as our drunken lady offender was covered in what I thought to be "chubby hubby".

Anyways, just being my partner and I on the street, he had to stay back and get the info for the report, while I had to transport our Peanutty-pretzel ice cream covered arrestee.

At this point our arrestee has calmed down enough for her to cooperate with me and willingly walk to my squad car. Having no other option and Viking being the friendliest good boi there was, I buckled our drunken lady in right next to Viking. She seemed happy with Viking and of course Viking was all about making a new friend. All was right in the world. I turn my camera on as I do with all my transports, and let her know she's being recorded.

As I'm driving back to the station (about a 10 minute ride) it starts to get weird. As all good dogs like ice cream, Viking was no different. He began to lick the ice cream off of my arrestee. No big deal, I look back in the mirror to see Viking cleaning up our offender and she seems to not mind. In fact she seemed to really enjoy it.

Then she starts really enjoying it. I look back in the mirror to see Viking licking the inside of my arrestees mouth with my arrestee straight French kissing my pitty.

Nope! I pull the car over and let Viking out to ride shotgun. He hops out happy as a clam and licking his chops as he got his ice cream fill. My arrestee is laughing in the backseat. I transported her to the station. I then dropped Viking off at his dog parents house. I decided not to let them know about his little excursion. Probably for the best.

Viking still escapes and runs around town every once in awhile, but now I just give him a few pets and bring him straight home.


Not a cop, guess I have to a be a robber... my best friend, boyfriend and I take some LSD after school one Friday night. Something was laced with it. Watched my face melt for awhile in the bathroom mirror, had relations with my boyfriend in the back of his car, enjoyed the black and white checkered tornado above his head, kept repeating "help Henry, my elbows are shaking" (don't know anyone named Henry), he thought I was crazy so he stripped down, ran 12 blocks to the local "crazy hospital" (was actually a huge concert arena) to check me in as a patient, no one answered so he threw rocks through a window. True love. Cops came and got him. Meanwhile, my bestie discovered a stray kitten and sat outside petting that thing for hours. I decided barbs were coming out of my skin, so in order to save my clothes, I took them off and buried them. Naked, covered in dirt, immune to temperature, I decide to knock on all the doors of the apartment complex because the knocks each made a wah-wah-wah reverb sound. Cops get called on my naked a**. Cat lady friend and naked me get thrown into the back of the cruiser while they sort out wtf is going on with these teenagers. She had a lighter. Decided I was evil. Lit my hair on fire. Spent the next few hours tied to a gurney in the padded room at the hospital. I was an upper-middle class, straight A student. My poor parents thought I was possessed. Good times.


Alright, so a bit of a switch here. I was in the back of the car, cuffed and everything, but if you've ever been arrested you know they do that thing every 30 seconds or so where they look in the mirror to make sure you're not planning anything, and I wasn't having a great day but still had enough humour to know what the I was about to do for the 40 min car ride......

Officer looks back;


Officer checks again, presumably confused;

winks one eye at a time (The signature cultist blink)

Officer, now concerned

This went on for 40 minutes, keep in mind he was probably new on the job, he looked about 25-30 and I was a 17 year old girl, just silently sitting and winking.


To make a long story short:

A guy on hallucinogenic drugs had taken a whole lot of viagra thinking it was Pez. Cuffed him and had him in the back of the car, which he thought was a limo, and he was trying to get his arms either under or over his body. He was high enough that I was kinda worried he'd succeed and fracture/dislocate something in the process, but we already had him strapped in as much as we could and decided to book it back to the station.


Best friends a cop. Actual text I received:

"Dude. We just arrested some guy with no legs in a wheelchair. We got him in the back of the squad car. While we did he proceeded to pee himself. Not sure how he managed this. I hate people."

Oodles Of Poodles

So about 2 years ago My friend and I were hanging out when he started telling me this crazy story that happened with him and his mom the day prior

Well, My friend's mom was walking her two dogs in a lesser than nice part but not the worst part of LA when this older disheveled woman came up and started petting the dogs and talking about how much she loved them, after about 10 mins of them talking she tried to steal these two giant poodles and my friend immediately called the cops.

After a 15 minute struggle between my friends mom and this woman the police came because someone called the cops. They arrested the woman who, when she got into the back of the car, decided to start pleasure herself...

The Gross Scale

Took a really drunk guy to the hospital after spending some time in our holding cells. Dude, spit a giant puddle of loogies on my plastic seat. I asked him to clean it up, intending him to wipe it up with his sweat pants. Instead he bent down and zamboni'd (sucked up the spit) with his mouth. On the scale of gross things i've seen this is pretty minor.

Buried Treasure

Around 1981-1982 I got a job at car wash in NJ. It was full service: you pull up and get out. We would vacuum, prep, put the car on the line, then dry it at the end, and off you go. We did a lot of cop cars.

As a n00b, my co-workers told me to always check deep in the rear seat cushions because sometimes you get "treasure". When cops busted people, they would check the rear seats but often did a mere cursory check. So sometimes treasure would be stuck in there really deep.

So, my first cop car to vacuum, I ran my fingers deep in the rear seat cushions. BAM! I felt something. A baggie. I fished it out and surreptitiously put it in my pocket (the cops were watching from behind window glass). At my break, I checked it out: a baggie with five joints! Free! For me!

That was a good night. Cop car treasure!


Schizophrenic having a personality crisis admitting another personality killed his mom.

Yeah...that s*** will mess with you.

Le PePe

Got arrested for drinking at a party when I was 17. I told the cops before they cuffed me and threw me in the car that I really had to pee but they didn't wanna let me use the bathroom (found out later it was because they thought I was going to flush drugs down the toilet) so while cuffed I somehow managed to pull my pants down to my knees from behind. Leaned over and peed all over the floor of the back seat. Ended up getting in more trouble for that than drinking in the first place.

Funny thing is I found out a year or 2 later that the cop who was driving me back at the time lives 3 blocks away from me and is actually a pretty chill guy. Now I'm 21 and we hang out at the bar sometimes and laugh about the story.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.