Police Officers Share The Funniest Things Nervous People Do Around Them
The police pull up and immediately people tense. They start trying to act "normal," as if what they were doing is somehow a crime.
The police must roll their eyes at us doing these "normal" tasks all the time. And they know full well it's because they're right there.
Here were some of those answers.
Always A Bigger Fish
My dad and I both work for the same PD, this is his story not mine. The shift before he had a guy detained for misdemeanor warrants or something. Some junkie comes walking down the road, sees the flashing lights and a cop next to a open back door. He empties his pockets dumping a pipe, needles, and 5 grams of drugs on the hood of his patrol car. He then spreads his legs and puts his hands on the car. My dad was shocked, let the other guy in the back go and took in the guy who just handed over his drugs. Apparently not sleeping for 3 days makes you paranoid.
May be too late, but one day I was headed to my station at the end of shift (meaning I stare straight ahead and avoid getting any paperwork to make me stay late) I happened to be behind the same car for maybe 2 miles on the same road. We're sitting at a red light and out of nowhere this dude runs it.
Everyone at the intersection looks at me so of course I stop the dude. Make contact and he can barely hand me his license he's shaking so bad from being nervous. Ask why he's so scared and he says he saw me behind him and he's on diversion... For running a red light. Also ends up having weed in the car.
Partner and I pull up at Taco Bell to grab lunch. Notice this dude near a work truck looking kinda shifty, but he's standing next to another dude and both are wearing the same company logo.
I pretty much ignore him, however I realized I left my wallet back in the car. When I turn around the dude is nowhere to be seen. He hasn't bolted, parking lot is too big and we would see him.
At this point it has piqued my interest and I walk towards the truck, all the while the other dude is just standing there shaking his head. Turns out this idiot is on his stomach trying to crawl under the truck because he thinks we are there for him.
Bewildered, we detain the dude for a moment. We quickly find out he has no outstanding warrants, but instead was guilty of something stupidly minor. He used some of the gas from one of the company cars for his personal vehicle and he thought his boss knew.
Dude ruined his work shirt, got called an idiot by his coworker, and didn't even get away- for no reason.
Not a police officer but...
My dad was driving (with Me, my brother, my mum and the cat in the carrier) to our new house but he didn't put his seatbelt on because he was stressed or something. Then a police car drove over and asked dad 'guess why I pulled you over'. My dad was really nervous and farted loudly, turned around, and blamed it on the cat. The police officer was hysterical and told him to put his seatbelt on and laughed hysterically while driving off.
Drying My Hair
My neighbor's kid used to put on mirrored sunglasses, sit in the driver's seat of their parked SUV, and point a hair dryer out the window so he could keep score of how many speeders slammed on the brakes.
Drivers Ain't Got Nothing
Not a cop but I used to work as an EMT. Drivers who were speeding would sometimes slow down when they would see my ambulance like I could pull them over or something. Even with no lights or sirens on. I always thought that was hilarious.
Also, when running lights and sirens, instead of moving over and letting my ambulance pass, some idiots would slam on their brakes before moving to the side when I came up behind them, forcing me to slam on my brakes. Never do this.
One time my brother, my dad, and I tied a water skiing rope to the back of our car during some heavy snowfall. We then towed my brother behind the car through the neighborhood on his skis sometime around midnight (so there'd be no traffic, and what few people were out were laughing their butts off) with me in the back seat acting as spotter in case he fell down or stopped.
And one point while driving up a hill we see police lights up ahead, at which point my brother drops the rope and uses his remaining momentum to go down an alley that's going downhill. Thing is that alley was FILLED with crazy potholes, so there's my brother putting his ski racing skills to use avoiding potholes instead of gates.
Teenage Boy Stuff
Not a cop, but I like to go out at night and basically mess around and do stupid stuff like put on a light up helmet and have friends push me around in a shopping cart. Teenage boy stuff. I don't drink or smoke or vape or anything but I've always been worried that some cop is gonna see me doing this and test me for like drugs or alcohol or something and I'll come out clean. What would he even do then? Is there a protocol for clean, sober kid acting like a jerk in a CVS parking lot?
In probation people would always answer the door with armloads of cleaning supplies or holding a broom or a mop or something when they very clearly had not been cleaning. I think its a sort of psychological coping mechanism for the embarrassment of having strangers show up with the authority to inspect your house if they desire.
Back To The Financial FutureGiphy
Daughter of a cop: My dad pulled next to a DeLorean at a red light and started having a little chit chat. My dad, being the classic white guy punny dad, trying to be funny asked "So what happens when you reach 88 miles?" And with out hesitation what so ever, he responds "I get a ticket."
Whoops. That snip was just a hair too far....
Your first bad haircut probably made you want to die a little when you looked in the mirror. Imagine how the person cutting your hair must have felt. Although, maybe they didn't care at all, as evidenced by the bs excuse they gave you when you finished in the barber chair.