Police Share The Most Absurd Situations They Stumbled Upon Without Being Called

Police Share The Most Absurd Situations They Stumbled Upon Without Being Called

What is that age old expression we've all used? "As luck would have it!" Who hasn't been on the receiving end of that? The funny thing about that sentiment though is it's lack of definition. I'd like to know... exactly what kind of luck will one be experiencing? As luck would have it, I've stumbled upon... money, love... trouble. That leaves a broad scope. And for many of our police and first responders this saying is an unfortunate way of life.

Redditor _imsophreshie asked Police officers of Reddit: What absurd situation have you just happened upon and realized NO ONE called the cops?


I was responding to a disturbance call in a trailer park that turned out to be BS. As I was leaving I noticed a giant puddle of blood on the ground near a different trailer. Upon further inspection I realized that there was blood all over one of the doors complete with smeared hand prints and blood dripping off the door knob. It looked like a massacre!

I started pounding on the door and this junkie comes out and starts yelling at me for waking her up. I asked her if she was hurt and she said she wasn't she then proceeds to go crazy about all the blood. She has no idea where it came from.

I followed the ungodly amount of blood to a trailer about a block down where there is a giant party taking place. I ask the group of guys standing outside where the injured person is and they all go G-code on me and say they don't know what I am talking about (while standing in the blood trail). I push passed and continue down the road to Oz where at the end of it I find a guy in an what used to be an all white outfit that is now dark red attempting to control his massive head bleed on his own.

I later discovered that he had been trying to break into that other trailer when he drunkenly cut his head on the window that he broke out.


Former LEO...worked a late shift and was driving home and decided to stop for some breakfast at waffle house. I noticed a few people flagging me down as I pulled into the parking lot (which was shared by an auto repair shop)...they point me to the back so I pull over and turn my spotlight on...

On the backside of the repair shop there was a dumpster, and there was a man laying down beside it behind the fence...I could see his feet. Then another homeless man walked out with a bowl and literally walked right by my car toward Waffle House (he was soaked btw).

So I walk over to the man laying down and he's unresponsive...I call in and EMT's arrive and the guy is dead (I still to this day have no idea how or why). I have the homeless guy waiting for me next to waffle house and I ask him what happened and he said "He was out cold, I was pouring water on him to keep him warm..."

Video from the auto shop shows guy walking and collapses next to dumpster (he wasn't shot or anything so who knows, heart attack, stroke, something)...and for 45min. this homeless man walked over to a water hose beside the waffle house, filled a bowl up and poured water on him because it was slightly cool outside and he didn't want him to get too cold (water was cold faucet water btw).

Literally nothing ever came close to the weirdness of that night in my entire career.


This was only a few years back.

Driving along a suburban road one night and a guy wearing only his underwear ran up to our cop car and threw a very large sofa cushion at us. As we slowed down to find out why he had thrown said cushion he tried to jump into the back of the car. We got out and had a chat to the poor guy who told us he had used about an 8 ball of poor quality cocaine and wanted to get out attention to help him.

Kicker was he had been running around the suburban streets all drugged up for about 30 minutes and no one thought it was odd enough to call us. To be fair it wasn't the nicest area.


Not a cop (I'm a paramedic) but I think this fits. My partner and I were at our post which was in the parking lot of a strip mall that had a bunch of stores and one bar which was known to be pretty sketchy. My partner was taking a little nap (it was around 1 am) and I was watching a movie on my phone, waiting for a call. Eventually I notice a few people coming out of the bar and just sort of lingering in the parking lot. A few more people come out, one lights up a cigarette and they all just stand around. I go back to my movie and 20 minutes later I notice there is now a much larger group lingering outside of the bar. Nothing strange was happening but I thought it was weird that they'd all been there for so long so I decided to check it out.

I woke up my pissed off partner to have him pull our rig closer to th edd group. As we approach with our lights on, the group notices us and starts to break apart. A few people scatter and I see that in the middle of the group there is a person on the ground motionless. My partner and I jump out and ask what's going on. Somebody in the group goes "this guy is wasted, he just stumbled out here and fell asleep on the ground" I shout to the man on the ground and he doesn't respond, I check for a pulse and there is none. I start CPR. while my partner gets our jump bag and notifies dispatch. For a full 30 minutes, people had just stood around looking at this dead guy on the ground, some smoking cigarettes, none doing anything about it. There wasn't even a noticeable commotion. Nobody asked if he needed help or called anybody and they probably never would have.

The guy was cool to the touch by the time we got to him, down for at least 30 minutes, we went through the motions but there was no saving him. We transported and he was pronounced at the hospital within 15 minutes.

How hard is it to ask someone if they are Ok? Or to dial 911? How was not one single person in that group not alarmed by seeing a man "sleeping" on the ground in a parking lot?

I've had similar variations of this scene happen at least 3 times while on duty.


My father was a village police man in he UK during the 80s, so this is his story. Lady bought a house and after many days/weeks getting settled, she turned her attention to the garden. She started digging some flower beds, but as she was working she came across some small bones in the dirt, baby sized bones.

This house used to belong to a doctor, so the lady puts two and two together and assumes he was a child murderer or maybe did some off-the-books abortions back in the day. This lady is shocked and terrified that her new home could be tainted by this horrible past, but she didn't call the police... Instead she just avoids the garden. Completely. The whole thing weighs heavily on her mind as the years go by.. 5, 10, 15 years (I forget how long exactly but it was at least a decade) until one day she can't take it anymore and calls the police to report the bones.

My dad goes out to investigate, in to the garden where she shows him roughly where they were. He digs around a little (this was the 80s and apparently they were less concerned with disturbing evidence) and finds not a dead baby, but a small plastic skeleton. Poor woman had been living with guilt and fear for decades because of a kids toy.


I'm really late to the party here. But three weeks after I started, I was on my way to our off site property control. Just driving through a residential area to avoid the congestion and take a look at my new beat. I drive past a house with smoke pouring out from the eves and two guys watching across the street. They pointed at is as I stopped and said, "I think there's a fire." Think was an understatement. This entire house was filled with smoke, windows were black with soot, and still no call. These two guys were just chatting away and not doing anything. I couldn't see fire, but it was July 10th and a sunny morning. No mistaking a house fire in broad daylight.

So I call it in and try to gain access and yell for any survivors. Keep in mind I have zero fire training, but have half a brain enough to know that if there are any survivors in there I won't be any help to them, and will just be another body to yard out once fire does arrive. I get into the back yard by jumping over the hood of a minivan and sliding across like a Duke brother because there is so much junk everywhere. This takes a piece of the wooden fence and jambs my radio key button open, so everyone can here me breathing, yelling for survivors, etc. I have no idea I've got an open mic at this time. I lay down on the deck and look through the sliding glass door and there is only about 4 inches up from the floor I can see. I continue to yell for survivors but get no response.

As soon as fire gets there, they make a slow entry because the front door has been barricaded. This is when I knew something wasn't right. Suspicions were confirmed when fire fighters yarded out four children, a mother, and father. The father was the last one taken out and the only survivor. Everyone else, except an infant, had been murdered with a kitchen knife.


Not in LE anymore, but was for about 12 yrs in a large city. When I was a patrolman, I got a call about someone shooting off fireworks in a strip mall at 2am. These were common calls, so we would usually just go check the area and clear the call. I checked the parking lot and didn't find anything, but noticed the lights were on at one of the strip mall businesses.

I won't say what business it was, but it was owned by a pretty prominent local businessman. Anyways, I got out to check and found the front door unlocked, which was suspicious. We had a lot of burglaries in that area , so I asked dispatch to call a rep for the business. I was clearing the building and found the owner and several other people (all really prominent) in a backroom where a poker table was set up.

One of the guys was sitting down and had a pile of coats in his lap which was really weird and he was acting like he was in pain. I saw blood droplets under his chair and asked him what was wrong. He broke down and moved the coats, then revealed he had a gunshot wound in his thigh.

Long story short, these guys had a high stakes poker game every week and someone tried to rob it and things went sideways. The dude robbing it shot this guy in the leg, which some citizen heard and called in a fireworks call. The guys involved in the game weren't going to call the cops and were arranging to have a doctor come treat him "off the books." Gambling is illegal in the state I worked in, but we honestly wouldn't have given a crap.

We actually caught the guy that did it, but the DA wouldn't prosecute because the victim / witnesses didn't want to testify or be involved. The victim recovered fine. One of the guys who I interviewed told me that they were robbed of over $30,000.


Started my four-to-midnight shift by heading directly to get a coffee. Beautiful summer day, people everywhere. I pull into the parking space and see a dude lying on the ground in front of a park bench.

I jumped out of my cruiser, grabbed my first aid bag, and called it in. The guy was conscious but not really responsive. It sounds like a movie but we were doing the old_"blink if you can hear me" _deal. The rescue finally arrived and took him to the hospital. I found out later on that the poor guy had suffered a severe grand mal seizure and was still in an episode when I rolled up on him.

The frustrating part was the dozens of people milling about that couldn't even bother themselves to call 911 nevermind find out of the guy was ok ????


I do mountain bike patrol in a smallish/medium sized city. Was just riding one morning just after rush hour and spotted a little kid probably 3-4 years old standing on the side of the road with no parents in sight. Stopped and asked him where his parents were and he just kinda shrugged. Called it in and some dude ran out of some townhomes across the street and said the little dude was standing out there for a few hours and he was watching him to "keep an eye on him." There were people around and everything, but we never got a call for it.

Long story short, he wandered out of the room him and his mom were staying in nearby and wandered out to the street. Place was a shelter for women and he was able to get out past the manager and a court police officer. Mom had died from a heroin overdose 3 days prior and when the little guy got hungry he got out of the room and wandered out to the street. No one even went to check on her either despite the smell.


Current police officer.

Was driving an emphasis patrol in a hot spot area known to be a car prowl area. A house party is going on, three people are face down in the yard and people are just standing around them like.... uhhhhhhhh.... cool!

One died due to suffocation on vomit. One suffered brain damage from a drunk fall and the third one lived. Based on my investigation they were like that for 15 or more minutes. With dozens of people around.


Known drug dealer shot another guy. It's a smaller town. Looking for him but couldn't find for hours and hours.

He had snuck into some other random guys basement. Random guy finds him down there and is totally cool with this drug dealer guy with a gun just hiding in his basement (he didn't know him). He just carrys on with his day doesn't call the cops.

Eventually at 4am the hiding drug dealer is bored now and starts playing music on his phone. Well apparently that was what pissed the homeowner off to call the cops.

Because the dude started playing music...


My brother in law was on his way home from the night shift a few months ago, and happened to drive past a house that was on fire.

he ran up to the door, beat on it with no answer, broke the door down and ended up rescuing a woman and her child/children (I'm not sure how many kids there were). they were all fast asleep and had no idea the house was on fire.


Obligatory not a cop, but I am an EMT.

We were waiting at a light right as we were headed back to the station for our end of shift. We see a man running like Usain bolt across the crosswalk to beat the light and a woman chasing him. My partner and I both look at each other and he says "she's gonna get hit..." the car in the rightmost lane guns it as the light turns green and the next thing we see is flip flops flying and a pair of legs in the air. Female was plowed over and landed on her face in the street. We immediately turn on our lights and hop out of the ambulance. When we get to the girl she's unconscious, pissed herself, and is bleeding from multiple lacerations on her limbs and a nasty head wound. My partner (who is a paramedic) starts his assessment as I go to grab a backboard and c-collar and call it into dispatch.

She wakes up and immediately starts screaming about her boyfriend leaving her. She stands up and tries to run after him, face plants on the curb, and proceeds to lose a tooth. We finally calmed her down enough to get her onto the gurney, mind you she wouldn't listen and kept trying to walk around after suffering a couple head injuries. Once we get her into the back of the ambulance and out of the road into a nearby parking lot the driver that hit her rolls up. By now firefighters are on scene and asking what the hell is going on, we give them the lowdown and my partner tells them we can handle it so they leave, confused and somewhat trepidatious. We talk to this women for a while while insisting that she needs to go the hospital, but she keeps saying that she can't go and she needs to find her boyfriend. Meanwhile the driver who hit her is apologizing to me and saying she wants to help anyway she can. The woman keeps saying she can't go the hospital. After we got her cleaned up and bandage all the wounds she asks if we can take her to her boyfriends house. Well as an EMT I can do one of 2 things, either take you to the hospital or leave you where you are. She refuses transport vehemently so my partner and I tell her that we can't take her anywhere. She then proceeds to hop out of the ambulance and ask the driver who just hit her if she would take her to her boyfriends house if she didn't call the cops. Sure as shit before we can even radio in that the patient was refusing transport to the hospital she's rolling away in the car that just hit her and tossed her 8ft in the air. It's not the craziest story but one of the few that we just happened to be there for.


Let's see... there was the dead homeless guy on the sidewalk that people thought _"oh he's drunk and passed out". _He was laying awkwardly, not like the homeless usually sleep. I got out to check on him and realized he was dead. The most absurd part was the people walking around him to go to work/get coffee/etc. as if it was business as usual. Once the commotion started and I taped off the scene, I was then accused of shooting and killing him by a passerby.


I'm not LEO, but I moved out of Racine, WI in the 90's because in the last three weeks I lived there there were 24 drive-by shootings, and three of those happened when there were already cops at the scene for unrelated reasons.


I was off duty playing poker with some neighbors and friends. One of the guys at the table is a Vietnam vet. In the middle of a hand he downs his glass of scotch hits himself in the chest and lights a cigarette he stands up and says "well I'm having a heart attack" he then walks out and drives to the hospital. Everyone thought he was joking. Sure enough he had and survived a heart attack


I remember not long after I started (9 years ago) a woman came to the police department saying she hadn't heard from her boyfriend in 3 days. She told me where he lived and once I got there there was no answer.

I was able to gain entry and noticed the ripe smell of death. There was tweaker shit everywhere, stuff taken apart, random tools and motors and all kinds of stuff tweakers "work" on. The house was near pitch black due to all the foil and blankets covering the windows.

As I began to clear the house I walked into one of the kitchen entries and as I turned the corner I looked into a big wall mirror and saw the reflection of her boyfriend hanging from a doorway. His body was a death gray and his neck had stretched at least 8 inches. I remember having to pick him up and pull the belt from the doorway. That image has stayed with me everyday since.


Not a cop but my apartment got broken into a few years ago. It was one of those off campus college apartments. We called the police who came at about 430am. Our neighbors were playing loud music which was pretty typical for them. When they arrive they are taking to the report when the officer I was talking to ask if our neighbors are always loud and I told him it was only on Saturday and Thursdays and how it didn't really bother us, but before they left they knocked and pounded until they finally answered, when they opened the door there was horse or a donkey in the living room, several studio cameras and 3 or 4 people who were apparently filming a donkey show. I know those cops were probably expecting some weed maybe a few minors drinking but not a donkey show.


Ex-officer here. Got called to a noise complaint and my partner and I knock on the door as it's actually pretty rowdy and could be heard across the street. Turns out there was a Hen's night full of drunken thirty-somethings and the cop stripper was running late.

That took more explaining than it should have, but they eventually turned the music down...


Right place right time story. We pulled into the gas station and I was standing in there and this dude runs in screaming at me to make his baby breath and I legit thought this guy was messing with me. But I run outside with him and his 8 week old baby girl that he had adopted THAT day was sitting in her car seat as blue as could be. My partner and I did CPR on her, got her breathing, put her on the chopper and the flight nurse called us later that day and said she made it and was doing fine.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.