People Reveal Family Secrets They Didn't Discover Until They Were Older
The things we'll never be able to un-know....
Every family carries buried secrets throughout generations. There is always a relative we lie about or an incident we all try to keep within the circle and sometimes that circle doesn't include the entire bloodline. There are just parts of our histories we aren't aloud to know until we can legally drink when we first hearing about it. And then they make great novels and Netflix series.
Redditor u/Skinnyminny18 wondered what buried stories have been unearthed by some people's lives by asking.... What's a family secret you didn't get told until you were older that made things finally make sense?
I'm I reading a Soap Opera?Giphy
That my sister (she was 16 when I was born, and kicked out) is my mother. Her mother (my grandma raised me as her daughter). It doesn't end there. To this day I don't know who my real dad is. My grandma was in her forties when she "had" me. And my sister was sent to a boarding school when she was pregnant with me. My sister has no idea that I know. likeasexyboss
A Close Call....
As the smallest of 3 brothers I always thought that I was a mistake, my brothers are 10 and 12 years older than me. Also I grew up kind of overprotected and in sometimes spoiled, there were Christmases where I received gifts from everybody. In some way it made me think that was a compensation of some sort.
This Christmas mom passed the holidays with me and my family and I bluntly asked her: "was I a mistake or was I planned?" Turns out I was the most planned one: she had a tumor in her uterus with high risk of being cancerous and for some reason in the late 70's the Doctor recommended her to get pregnant to take out her womb and all the tumor, the pregnancy would be of high risk but she committed.
I was born an 8 months child (+1 month in incubator) and mom got all her tumors out. They never told me because I could feel unwanted or guilty. CapitanFlama
My grandpa burned to death. I found out he died when I was a kid, but was not allowed to go to his funeral, and they told me he had a heart attack. I was so confused because everyone around me would clam up when I asked about him. Turns out that he had a heart attack while trying to put out a field fire, collapsed, and burned. I still have no idea how long it took for people to find him, but I'm assuming it was hours. MissourisOwn
The Bullet Travels....Giphy
Something felt strange about my grandfather's funeral, just they way they were emphasizing his place in heaven. Later found out that he shot himself in the heart with a 357. Same side of the family also had seemingly random people show up at family gatherings throughout my life that ended up being illegitimate children of my grandma. I just started gaining uncles and cousins... Confused the crap out of me as a child. Dragothor
Connect the dots....
When I was around 6-8 years old, my uncle passed away. I thought it was something sudden and medically tragic, as I remember him having lung problems of some sort. When I got older I found out he committed suicide, because his girlfriend broke up with him. I remember visiting my dad and hanging out in my uncles room where we got to play video games and listen to cool music with him. That was the start of me learning about mental illness running in the family and connected a lot of dots for me. sarar3sistance
Paging Dateline or 20/20....
Was told my aunt and uncle died because of a carbon monoxide leak in their house. When I was 16 I was told the truth. My uncle was having serious money problems. He shot my aunt and then hung himself. Julieandrewsdildo
It does Makes A Great Meal...
One of my most beloved "mom's recipe" recipes was actually Hamburger Helper. She was a from-scratch cook and literally everything else we ate she made herself. She never told us because it made her so mad that her kids would love a boxed meal so much. She did it once out of sheer desperation because she didn't have time to cook one night. We ended up loving it. I only found out in college because I begged for the recipe. I love giving her crap for it to this day. TanglingPuma
My dad never called his step mom anything but her real name, Margaret. He has 7 brothers and sisters and they all called her mom or some form of that. When I got older it turns out my grandpa was actually cheating on my real grandma/ my dads mom with Margaret while she was dying for colon cancer. My dad was 5 when she dies and as she was dying my dad had to call my grandpa to tell him to come home because she was dying.
After that Margaret and her 3 kids moved in and my dad was forced to live with is sister who was 18 and married (this was late 70s backcountry so not abnormal for the time) from then until he turned 16 when he decided to move in with his best friend and his mom. So I learned that he probably has always had resentment towards Margaret because of everything that happened when he was so young and never wanted to call her anything that resembled a mother because that's not what she was to him. Compozurev
You gotta have "Friends!"Giphy
My aunt was somebody's mistress for decades. Explains why she never married, and what had always seemed like an odd intensity of grief over the death of her "friend." saltpinecoast
Father Does not Know best...
My late father was a great dad, went to work, came home every night and nothing was really out of the ordinary except that he would ask my sisters and I to let him use the money from our piggy banks (my granddad lived with us and he had a great pension and relatively no bills, so he spoiled us rotten and would always give us money) because he knew we had it, but told us not to tell anyone and that he'd give it back. He would also really only have 2 moods, really cranky or extremely sweet (my sisters and I called it his "nice face"). This was all we knew until I was about in 8th grade... we went to a private school and my dad would tell us school was canceled, there was a gas leak, institute days etc and we would stay home, when we would go back to school, nobody else would know what we meant as they had been in school.
One day, just before my graduation, my mom let out a scream and started screaming. Our house was being foreclosed on and my dad hadn't been paying the mortgage and had been trying to cover up for the fact that he had been a functional cocaine addict. The "nice face" was when he was high, the school absences were because he'd spent tuition money on drugs and then had to pay before my mom caught wind. Apparently, it had gotten worse by this time but he'd been an addict for more than 20 years and none of us knew. jearley3
If we only spoke...Giphy
Not all that extreme, but it was emotional for me.
My grandfather was the typical tough, rugged mountain man. He never expressed emotion and in fact rarely ever even spoke at family gatherings. He would just sit in the corner drinking beer. I never felt that he and I had a very good relationship, considering I was the weird, artsy kid in the family. We didn't have much to talk about because we couldn't relate to each other well.
He died of lung cancer two years ago. A couple of months after he died I was visiting my parents and my mom pulled out a shoebox that belonged to him filled with sentimental photographs that he kept hidden in his closet. Nobody knew about it until after he died and they we're cleaning his things out. Almost every single photograph was of me. It broke my heart. I wish I would have been closer to him. He clearly loved me a lot more than I thought he did. OnlyAutoSuggest
Where was Glenn Close?
My pet rabbit got attacked by something a couple years after I got it. My parents found it dead and replaced it before I found out. I just thought my rabbit lived super long but it was actually two rabbits. This happened over 10 years ago and I found out last year. imissfrostedtips
For the Fences...
My parents were swingers. MoJoBlair
My mom was in the hospital so I flew home. Me and my dad were hanging out getting drunk and he started telling me family secrets, almost like he was trying to get a reaction out of me. An uncle was molested, an estranged aunt might actually have a different father than we thought, etc... The one that really got me was when he revealed that he used to do coke. I was imagining he meant like in his 20s. I said "when did you stop?" and he said "I think you were about 19."
Like what man? My entire childhood? And he said yup. Did mom know? Yes. How much? About a gram a week.
At first it was completely insane to me, but looking back it made a ton of stuff make way more sense. Crazy mood swings, explosive fights, one minute he would be fine and then suddenly he would be raving about something. I knew he drank so I always blamed the instability in the house on that. But finding out he was regularly doing coke all my life was both astounding and it made complete sense. livingthedream666
I didn't know one of my cousins existed until I was about ten years old. Turns out he was diagnosed with Leukemia as a child and I was a very sensitive kid, so my family decided not tell me until the treatment was successful and he recovered. It would have been okay if they told me as soon as he was healthy again, but I guess they forgot so the first time I met him, I was wondering how exactly I managed to forget the existence of a whole person. monopoppi
But what if I am?
I don't know if 16 is considered an adult, but oh well,
When I was 16 I was going though my brothers porn videos and I came across one called Macho Meat Men. I thought it was weird, but ignored it because he had like 20 straight porn videos.
A couple days later it popped into my head again, and the thought of how out of place it was kept nagging at me. So I went and asked my mom "what would you do if one of your kids was gay?" And she responded "You're not gay too, are you?!"
Turns out my brother had come out to everyone the year prior but didn't want to tell me because I was going to a Christian school at the time and he thought I wouldn't accept him. We're still really close, and never for a second did doing anything other than accept him for who he was cross my mind. RelevantNote
Too Brutal to know....
From my father's family line: my great grandfather killed my great grandmother with an axe while she was sleeping. My grandma, who was the oldest one, raised all of her siblings. She was 19 at the time and just married my grandad, who was 19 too. Youngest sister was just 2 years old, they were 9 in total. I knew my grandma raised all her siblings but I always thought it was because her mother died from some illness. I just found out when I was 17 and asked my aunt. DrDrunk992
Not so Happy New Year...
My aunt and uncle (who passed away when I was 11) were drug addicts. I adored them but as I got older I started seeing less and less of them and never understood why. My parents briefly told me when I was 16 and that my uncle didn't die of a brain tumor (actually had one though) but instead he shot himself while my aunt was in the other room which lead to my aunt's drug related death on New Year's Day. They finally told me the whole story when I was 21. I was the last person to know (even my little brother knew before me) because I was extremely close to them and looked so highly of them. I still do. I wish I would have known sooner but I understand why they didn't tell me. TrystenConn
My grandparents forced my aunt to get an abortion before my family moved to America, rendering her permanently sterile. It finally makes sense why none of the adults talk about having children around her. chocolate_star
Quitting a job can be a liberating feeling, but it can also be scary as hell... especially if you don't have another job waiting for you on the horizon.
Thanks to Redditor BurningDruid13, we have some answers to the following question: "Have you ever quit a job, without another lined up, for your mental health? How did it turn out?"