School Counselors Reveal What Their Jobs Are Really Like

Ever wondered what a school counselor really does?

We all walked by that office at some point during the school year. We wondered if one of the unfamiliar adults wandering the hallway was the fabled school counselor. So let's get an inside look at who they are and what they do:

u/GoldPastures posed the question: School counselors of Reddit, what is your job really like?

and here we got our inside look.


I am a school psychologist/counsellor at a fairly high end independent school in NSW Australia. I work in the prep campus (kindergarten to year 6).

I love my job! The day is a mix of individual counselling (for students with anxiety, depression, difficulties regulating emotions, engaging with peers, ASD), individual assessment (cognitive assessment and achievement testing) as well as running proactive and preventative mental health programs. There are also lots of meetings with parents and teachers to field referrals and consolidate interventions.

I am quite fortunate in my position to be able to work proactively, and just in the one location. Many school counsellors get stuck figuratively slapping on bandaids week to week, and are often spread throughout many schools. They also end up having to roll out assessments en masse in order to allow students to access funding support, which can be extremely monotonous.


Emotional Band-Aids. Serious issues arrive and we either have to file a CPS report, refer to outside agency, or contact parents. Dealt with variety of things.... cutters in 5th grade, domestic abuse witnesses, suicide outcries.... these are not everyday occurrences, but frequent enough. For the most part, are not certified to deal with these hard core issue, so thus the referral out. Daily basis it's guidance lessons on bullying, self esteem, healthy living, respect, etc. Also students come in when they just need someone to talk to. A big part of my job is also identifying students who might need to be referred for special education or dyslexia assessments and processing the paperwork. Oh, and meeting wit parents and teachers.... that's a big part too. Helping teachers with discipline issues, talking to parents about how to better help their child at home. Love the job.

Other Types Of Counsel

College and career readiness vs emotional support counselor.

Making sure students are taking the courses they need to take, ensuring they are on track for graduation. Help them with the college application process.


Being there for the kids when they have questions about life or when things go wrong and they could use someone to talk to.

Lot of the replies here are sour but they need to understand it's a tough job, I don't envy the counselors at my school it's tough to develop that 1 on 1 relationship with 600 kids ( 5 counselors).


Not me but one of my friends was a school social worker. Her job consists of mediating students who were not getting along, providing support to students that were struggling either academically /socially/ personally, and facilitating group bonding activities from students.


I'm currently in a masters program to become a school counselor. Your role in a school really depends on what age level you're working with. Elementary school counselors do much more classroom lessons where they can reach more students. High school counselors do more scheduling and college/career readiness. Across all grade levels though, school counselors are there to support students with academic or socioemotional issues.

There are many factors that hinder the effectiveness of a school counselor. Many schools give them additional tasks that are not in their job description like coordinating state standardized tests and having them discipline students which can destroy rapport. The American School Counseling Association (ASCA) recommends that the student to counselor ratio be 250:1 in order for the counselor to be most effective. Some schools have over 600 kids for one school counselor!

In short, school counselors are there to support students in any way that they can, but their job is not easy. If more people understood their role, maybe we could get more school counselors in schools.

Working Hard

I'm a little late to this thread, but my mom is a high school counselor and boy does she work. She spends a lot of her time at the end of each semester creating schedules for her student's next semester. She works at one of the smaller schools in our county, but she still has to create roughly 220 schedules a semester. She also spends a lot of time meeting with students having personal issues and doing what she can to help. She recently received a grant to train a therapy dog that she takes to school with her daily to help students who are having meltdowns in her office.

Aside from that, she runs a number of clubs such as NHS and for a while, the jazz band and teaches a "good beginnings" class. Good beginnings is a program that helps pregnant high school girls prepare for motherhood and provides them with a support community so they don't have to face the difficulties of teen pregnancy alone.

She helps plan and run a majority of the school's ceremonies and created a character development program that won her a few awards. She also runs a Facebook page that posts scholarship opportunities for high school seniors.

Outside of school, she will often take responsibility for struggling students. The amount of extra "siblings" she's brought home over the years to help out is incredible. We even fostered one of her students for six months when she fell on hard times.

I've been out of the house for a while now, so there are definitely things I'm missing here, but what she does for her students is incredible. School counselors often get a bad rap which is really quite sad. I've never met anyone who works as hard as my mom does for her students, so if you get the chance, thank you counselors for all the hard work they put in. Chances are, they don't hear it enough.

Many, Many Hats

School counselor here! I work mostly on the college counseling side now with eleventh and twelfth graders but am trained as a school counselor. (I'm a little biased but,) school counselors are the superheroes of a school setting in many cases.

They take on many tasks both within and tangential to their job description, including: individual meetings with students to review and work on their academic goals, problem-solving skills, and social-emotional challenges; group facilitation for small groups that tackle common areas for improvement, including study skills, friendship, family problems, grief, anger management, etc; (on the high school side) many school counselors are responsible for all the logistical and non-logistical facilitation of the college process (applications, financial aid assistance, family meetings, college selection, post-secondary planning for students not attending college, emotional preparation for the college transition, etc.); advocating for students in IEP meetings, family meetings, meetings with DCF, etc; liaising with teachers and administrators to develop and implement academic plans for students struggling with their coursework; and many, many more responsibilities that make up their typical day-to-day.

School counselors also often serve students in crisis, but ideally if a school's social-emotional supports are functioning perfectly, this would be a small component of a school counselor's role. We are trained to serve students in a short-term capacity, and for students who are suffering severe mental health challenges or are facing social-emotional issues that require long-term care, we may refer out.

On top of all these things, school counselors are often tasked with many non-counseling related responsibilities, including organizing and proctoring standardized tests, lunch and transitional duty, afterschool coaching or program leadership, organizing field trips and college visits as well as in-school events, classroom teaching, literacy work, etc.

The reason I think they are superheroes is because they (attempt, at least) to execute all this work through a strengths-based lens that really lifts up the stories and voices of all of the young people with whom they work. We are so privileged to be able to observe first-hand the incredible growth that happens in schools, and if we do our job right, we are often people students remember throughout their post-secondary years and beyond.

A Bad Example

I hope they've improved since I was in school. Mine's response to me having a hard time in school due to my dad nearly dying from complications of a brain tumor was, "You walk around at school like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders and it's bringing other people down. Why don't you should join a sport to get your mind off it? You'd lose weight as a bonus."


Some great answers here already but from your typical American school....

Elementary school (if the school district is progressive enough to have counselors):

You are essentially an assistant principal, special education teacher, counselor, social worker, or any hat you need to wear that day. Running lunch groups, coordinating 504 plans, IEP's, preparing kids for middle school, working on social interactions, and really anything to fill in the gaps for what these children are not getting at home.

Middle school: 504's, IEP's, behavior interventions, peer mediations, planning for high school, college and career planning/exploration. Severe mental health concerns e.g. Cutting, depression, anxiety. Again, wearing whatever hat you need to that day.

High school (in most school districts): planning high school schedules, college planning, paperwork...... And more paperwork. Some schools are starting to take the scheduling aspect out of the job, but most are heavy in the standard guidance counselor job description.

School counselors are one of the most underutilized parts of a school and teachers/administraters misunderstand what they should be using them for.

The Dirty Details

As a school counselor I had a student come in crying because she was pregnant. When asked about birth control she said, "but I took the pill before AND after." Major facepalm, but hey, job security.....

4th grader and mom comes in for a meeting because he was below grade level in math. About 6 people siting in the meeting. Look at mom during the meeting to ask her a question, freaking chinchilla climbs out from her cleavage.

9th grade boy sculpted a dog out of his poop and brought it to my office as a gift. Sh-tty gift.

Kid squeezed superglue in another kids ear while he was asleep at his desk. The victim had bullied the kid earlier in the year, payback was earned.

Just a few of the stories. Being a school counselor is fun, because you never know what will happen at any moment. But counselors can not talk about the issues with other people so it is sometimes lonely if you are the only counselor in a school.

No Support

We had counselors in my high school, but I honestly didn't know they were also there to help you with your mental/emotional welfare until the end of my senior year when they had us rate them and their services. I thought they only processed transcripts and dealt with academic issues like setting you up for summer school if you failed a class or something.


Currently have one year left for my Masters of Ed psych degree (school counseling), but during our master program we also have to work in a practicum and an internship in the schools. As a school counselor, our main responsibilities are as follows:

Guidance Curriculum - This is where the counselors go around to each class and present a lesson plan to every student. Usually ranges from College and Career Readiness, bullying, navigating middle school, etc.

Individual Planning - Each student meets with their counselor over the course of the school year to discuss where they are academically and to plan ahead for the future

Responsive services - This is one of the more common responsibilities of a counselor. Here we are dealing with the everyday occurrences within the school (bullying, disruptive students, fights, etc.) essentially, we are there to put out fires.

System support - This is where we attending training seminars and PBIS meetings (positive behavioral intervention and support) to learn how we can better serve our teachers and our students.

The grade level you work with does determine what I would be doing more however. For example, at the high school level, my responsibilities consist more of making sure kids are on track for graduation and prepared for college where as in the middle school, we are more focused on getting kids on a good academic path.


I'm a high school counselor. Definitely a big focus on making sure that students are on track for graduation requirements, but you need a counseling degree for the job, so it's nice to be able to use therapeutic skills when students need help getting through the day. People want to hear about the f-cked up stories, and they happen, but it doesn't define my job very well.

When I Actually Get To....

School counselor here!! When I actually get to be a school counselor it's great. I get to talk to students about a wide variety of issues they're having, help them resolve problems between themselves and with other adults and get to do class lessons on social and emotional issues. I also run small groups and do some school-wide PBIS things. I work at a very understaffed elementary school though so my ability to do my job is hindered by the many additional tasks I was assigned to do that take my time away from the students. I'm making the move to high school next year but will miss being an elementary counselor.


I'm a school social worker in California. Went to grad school for my MSW with an emphasis in schools my last year of the program. Had to get a pupil personnel credential as well. My job is great, I love working with the population and each day is somewhat different. Some of my duties include individual and group counseling, leading class workshops and assemblies, parent workshops, linkages to resources for families in need. I also respond to crises and conduct threat assessments and make CPS reports on occasion. I work with admin and teachers and suggest specific behavior interventions that might work best with specific students. I also track infraction and behavior data throughout the year in order to follow trends in student behavior and see how to make things better at our school. So many different jobs in one which makes it so enjoyable.

So Many Side Jobs

Current senior and a counselors office aide. The main job of our counselors is academic planning, with a few frequent fliers that come in to talk to their counselor almost every day, always unscheduled. At our school you have to fill out a slip to see your counselor and it's eventually processed when they have time, and some kids just don't get this. They get really s****y with our lovely receptionist and my fellow office aides, so we have to push back another kid's appointment to appease them. It's really hard and our counselors do so much, especially recently since we had the death of some seniors and a sophomore, they've been working full steam ahead. They deal with a lot of kids with emotional problems as frequent fliers (anger issues, depression, classroom anxiety, etc.) but there's also a large majority who just like to come in for bullshit reasons. All in all it's not as high risk or glamorous as Hollywood would have you believe. These people work their ass off for you and you don't even know!! Show them thanks!!

A Netherlands View

I work as a student counselour in the Netherlands on a highschool for middleclass education. (Age 12-17) My work mainly consist of guiding student who struggle with behavioral problems, psychologic problems, drug abuse, child protection in some cases and basically annything you can think of that would be classified as a serious problem.

My office is situated as a time-out zone for children that get removed from the classroom by the teacher. They get a note written by the teacher that tells me the reason of their removal and they get work for the remainding time of the class in question. I usually talk about what happened and offer advice and issue the consequiences of their actions as forms of detention or extra assignments wich i then communicate to the classes' mentor. I also register the students who were absent without a proper reason during classes and call them out on why they were absent.

Lastly i just walk around the school in my downtime to speak to the students in a informal manner to ask them how they are doing at home or talk about their hobbys and such. Just making small talk to get a proper bond with the children so they know where to go when they are facing tougher times. As a counselour i really feel like you should make rounds outside of your office to get yourself know to the students.

I love my job and seeing my students develope is amazing in such a small amount of time. Even though the job can be pretty rough at times.

Every Day A New Day

I am a school counselor in a low income rural school. I do everything from wash students clothes and provide them with a place to take a shower to sitting with them while they are interviewed by law enforcement and CPS. There is no "average" day for me.

Some days I help groups of students figure out how to get along or how to just co-exist with people they don't like. Basic coping skills that they are missing from home.

Some days I am listening to a student tell me they are suicidal or harming themselves and have to make the calls to parents and other agencies to help them get the services they need. It can be an incredibly stressful and saddening job, but some days you get a win. No matter how small, it reminds you why you are there to begin with.


I'm a school psychologist in the U.S. Depending on the school and district my position can overlap with school counselors. Unfortunately I do not in any significant way (unless I personally pursue it, which I've done on occasion). At least not in my current position. Like another user mentioned, some of us get stuck in a revolving door of assessment.

I primarily do psycho-educational assessments, which consists of cognitive/intelligence tests, academic achievement tests, and depending on the concerns social-emotinal tests. All these tests are based off of national norms, and require a lot of training to administer according to standards. I do more than just test for these assessments, like observations and interviews. It's sort of like being a detective! I investigate to find the source of a student's struggles. Typically I don't start testing students until special education is considered. Which is another topic for another day.

In all honesty, I am just finishing up my internship year. The schools I work with didn't really get the memo though, so I was treated as if I was fully credentialed. It is surprisingly hard to find school psyscholigists in the U.S. If anyone is curious about more, or how to become a school psych, drop me a PM. I would love to see more people interested in the field!

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.