Sex Workers Share The Saddest Experience They've Had On The Job, And We're Touched
"Let me tell you about a time..."
Sex workers see things no one could imagine. There's no way any one person could think of it all. So, when sex workers open up a window to their side of the story, the sad side, it's critical to listen.
WARNING: Some stories are NSFW.
Reddit user, u/deviles, wanted to understand their world just a bit more when they asked:
Sex workers of reddit: What is the saddest experience (client wise) you've had while on the job?
Simply One Night Together
Not my story but I knew a girl who did "rent a night" type of stuff.
Guy asks her if she could come over. Doesn't talk about sex over the phone just if she could come over and to come hungry. She thinks he is into feeding. She arrives at like 6 p.m. pretty early for her work She asks what he would like to do. He just cooks for her. A really big delicious meal. [Later] he starts to open up a [bit.] His wife had passed and always loved his cooking, but he hates cooking for himself
The Best Kind of Life Coach?
I work as a cam girl. There are a lot of sad stories- dead wives, divorcees, etc., but the one that hit me was this guy, we'll call him Steve.
Steve sends me a message during one of my public shows asking to go private. I go private with him after the show and he just wants to talk about my life. No nudity or anything, and in privates, his cam isn't visible to me. So I sit there talking about my life for about two hours at $5/minute and he doesn't say a word. I finally run out of things to say and he is just like, "Thanks. Can I buy your Snapchat?" Of course I say yes, I give him my Snapchat, and he signs off.
The next week, I get a Snapchat from Steve asking if we can private again. I say sure, we do the same thing. He just wants me to talk about my day and random life stories for two hours. We do this once a week for about a month before he asks to Skype (where I can see him). I agree. I still know literally nothing about this person.
It's our scheduled time to Skype and he doesn't pick up the call. I Snap him to make sure everything is okay and he says he's changed his mind, he wants to do our usual thing where I can't see him. I say okay. This time, though, he types to me and I respond.
Basically, he gives me his life story. He tells me that he is an independent software developer (won't say which for privacy reasons) in Switzerland. He's never had a girlfriend and is a virgin. He's 36 years old. He has crippling social anxiety and says he hasn't spoken to a woman face to face (not even via webcam) since he graduated from college. He says that he's hideously ugly and felt overwhelming guilt for even looking at a woman because he felt that it was just unwanted and offensive to her. I tried to just listen and be understanding.
At the end of the conversation, he asked if he could turn on his cam and try to have a conversation with me. I agreed.
He turns on his cam, and he's a totally average looking guy. A bit overweight, but a handsome face and a nice haircut, clean looking. I was shocked and just really sad that he thought so lowly of himself. I told him that he was very handsome and that he shouldn't think so lowly of himself, and we just chatted about life for a few more hours that night before saying goodbye.
The next day, I get a Snapchat from Steve. He says that he felt so good about himself that he finally said hi to the front desk receptionist at work. And she said hi back and smiled. He was thrilled about this normal social interaction.
We didn't video chat again, but he snapped me every time he interacted with somebody. Last I heard, he has a girlfriend.
Bridging The Gap For Normalcy
Had a client who didn't speak much English. Afterwards we were lying down together, I got out my phone and we had a conversation via Google Translate. He told me that his wife had died four months earlier and that this was the first time he'd felt normal since.
You Know There's A Serious Problem When Lap Dances Won't Do
I had a guy I gave a few lapdances too... his buddy took him out because he just got divorced. His wife was the one who left him. He was crying. I tried to give him a pep talk... most of the time I spent was holding him.
I obviously wasn't helping much... a stripper doesn't even come close to replacing your wife of 20 years, especially when you've never been with anyone else.
F-ck. I almost cried too.
Let's Build An (Imaginary) Life Together
I used to be a sex cam worker, I had a regular client who always pay for private time with me. Nothing really did anything sexual for him, he wanted me to dress as a happy housewife and tell him what would be for dinner, how are the 2 dogs and cat (imaginary) doing? What were their names, he would tell me we lived in Italy, i forgot where but he described to me a large house with a pool and all. He pretty much would just fantasy play house with me. I would get really into it and he would always visit me every day.
He was just a very lonely man and seemed to crave for some human affection and interaction. I felt bad when I just dropped out of the job without warning. I do think about him from time to time, I hope he managed to live his best life.
I had a few clients in my hometown & neighboring city. They were somewhat older, more career accomplished women who wanted discrete companionship.
Most of them just wanted to cuddle and talk or listen to music and lay with me. Some liked drugs, almost all of them liked wine. All of them were lonely.
One of my clients was constantly out at parties or business functions, very social & successful, and would contact me after. On Christmas one year she told me that she was previously married, her husband started her business with her before he died. She told me she lived the happiest life with him but that it was too short. I think she was looking for a similar 'replacement' for her husband but nobody lived up to the guy.
Relationships are hard and then we die.
An older gentleman who wasn't a regular came in one day and would not talk to any dancers . Just simply drank , paid the bartender and left . Well after a few consecutive days of coming in he decided to let me spark up a conversation with him. He told me I was a pretty lady and such and he left . Well he came back a day later and I greeted him with the warmest greeting I could and that day he told me had cancer and he didn't have long to live .
His wife died many years ago and he told me his wife wouldn't want him moping around the house being upset or depressed and would have wanted him to remarry and go out . He just couldn't see hisself marring someone else so he decided to just stop in and see some dancers before he died . He came back maybe a week later and after that I never seen him again .
They Fulfill Any And All Desires
I used to occasionally be the safety guy in the house when a friend of mine, who was a dom at the time, would have clients in. She told me the story of this one client who turned out to be a former POW and he paid her rate and all he wanted was to be buckled or shackled onto the cross or somewhere in her space and then left alone. When he frees himself, he'll show himself out.
Easily the simplest yet most fascinating story I heard from her.
There's An Origin Story For Everything
i'm a little late to the thread but - i do online only domme stuff. this includes webcamming, fetish clips, and i used to offer skype sessions and phone sex.
i had a client buy a 30 minute skype show in which he wanted a pretty heavy rejection role play with a lot of verbal abuse. that's not unusual for the kind of clients i get, so i didn't expect anything out of the ordinary. ahead of time i asked if there were any words or subjects i should avoid that might be actually upsetting to him (some clients don't want to be insulted for their looks for example, or someone who was called a certain name as a kid might ask me not to use that word, normal stuff) and he said no, anything was fair game.
about five minutes into the thirty minute show, he started crying. my usual response to this is to not necessarily break character, but verbally have him confirm if he wants me to continue or to stop the show (in the case things go "bad" i've refunded people for their time). he said no, he's okay, and to please continue. after another couple of minutes i checked in with him again, and he decided he didn't want to continue, so i asked if he wanted to end the show and i'd refund for the unused time, but he said that he'd like to remain on cam with me for the remaining twenty or so minutes.
in the remainder of our time he told me his verbal abuse kink came from a sh-tty childhood and that his mother was verbally abusive, and that he contacted me because my voice was similar to his mother's. she'd died several months prior. i sort of didn't know how to respond to that, but he asked if instead, i could reassure him. so for a few moments i ended up speaking as his mother - not in a sexual way, but just telling him he was a good child who didn't deserve the cruel words "i" had used.
we used the entire thirty minutes. i haven't offered skype sessions in almost two years and he's never bought any content from me again but i think about him a lot. i hope he's healing.
i've always said sex work is 50% customer service, 40% therapy, and only 10% actual sex.
Just Trying To Live A Normal Life
I worked in a massage parlor when I was college aged. You made ok money off the walk-ins or the guys they booked for you but the real money to be made was when a guy liked you and made you his regular. I had one client and we just clicked. He had a funny sense of humor and actually had a decent professional life going for himself.
When we started talking though it was crazy how he lacked confidence He as a bit overweight and not particularly handsome but he didn't think any girls would go for him so he visited prostitutes, massage parlors, strippers, etc. I tried to talk to some sense into him but it never worked. We even went clothes shopping, to the park, the movies and other social places just to try to help him get over his anxiety.
I didn't see him or heaar from him in a while and he showed up to tell me he had a minor heartattack. Things went downhill for him pretty quick. We chatted a few more times but he kind of pushed everyone away. I still wonder sometimes if he's doing ok.
An Escape From Reality
I once had a client whose wife had a few years prior been diagnosed with ALS. This particular client also happened to work in the field of medicine, so the realities of his wife's condition were all too real and the whole thing seemed to just hit really close to home for him.
Anyway, during our sessions he always enjoyed talking with me more so than anything else. See, I made an effort to never veer the conversation in any direction he didn't want/that would make him uncomfortable, and also to try to distract him (as that's what he had initially requested) but inevitably, naturally, we would every so often return to the subject of his home life, and his beautiful, ailing wife. I'll never forget that sort of faraway yet intense look he had in his eyes as he softly spoke of her, loving words from a shattered man.
The last time I saw him was... sometime in late 2016, but from time to time I still wonder about him.
A Conversation To Understand The Trauma
I'm a bit too late for all of this, but here goes.
I'm a sex worker, mainly being a sugar baby for wealthy guys and sometimes I do normal escorting.
The one that I found the most sad was this man in his 50s. We met online and chatted a bit and eventually met in person at a cafe. We got along really well, I genuinely liked him. He was a very worldly, fascinating man with a terrific sense of humour. Things progressed where I came around to his house. I was expecting him to want sex, but instead we just talked the night away. That was when he told me about the tragedy in his life. His daughter had died tragically in an accident and his wife left him soon after. Their relationship just couldn't survive the trauma, I think. It's hard to describe the aching grief and loneliness that he felt. My heart broke when I saw all the emotion come bubbling up from somewhere deep inside. Despite all the trappings of wealth that he had he was a deeply unhappy man.
We laughed, we cried, we held each other, we drank too much. We became close friends and I visit him often in my own personal time. He's doing a lot better now, I'm half expecting him to get himself a girlfriend at some point. He's a beautiful man, he deserves it.
Each Christmas Is Last Christmas
Made a throwaway for this cause I'm paranoid
I've done various forms of sex work over the past two years. Escorting, cam work, sugaring etc
One of my regular clients was this 50 year old English guy. Really sweet, funny and very generous. But there was one night that kinda broke my heart. He's married but, according to him, they only stayed together for their kids. Last Christmas, his family had gone back to the UK and he asked me to come over. After we had sex, he just grabbed and hugged me tight for the longest time. It was the first time he ever cuddled me and it was such an affection-hungry action.
Turns out, he lost his job and just felt so alone in his house. I stayed there, hugging him until he wanted to stop.
The Last Daughter's Good-Bye
Did a VIP dance where all the guy wanted was to hold me (naked) like a baby. Before leaving, he showed me a picture of his deceased daughter, who looked exactly like me.
Sometimes, All They Need Is An Ear
I'm a former sex worker. I booked with a middle aged client and we had a lovely coffee meeting before our date. I learned that his wife had passed away a couple of years ago and he missed human contact but wasn't ready to date anyone so he booked in with me.
Our date didn't consist of any sexual contact. He just wanted to cuddle in bed with me in our PJ'S, and talk about his wife. He had nothing but the most beautiful things to say about her. He was crying and I was crying and he just talked about true love and how he never thought he would find it, and how he doesn't know how to keep living now that he's lost it.
It was truly heartbreaking. I've never really dealt with much death in my life; I've certainly never seen someone grieving in that way. I didn't know how to comfort him so I just made tea and listened to him talk for two hours. It was strangely beautiful to know that someone can love someone else like that. I felt so bad for him and his broken heart.
Simply Passing The Time Together
I used to visit a disabled client a while back, kinda young guy late 20's and wheelchair bound. I had a whole gamer thing going on because I love video games so I'd offer to play games with clients, have some naughty penalties if you lose that sort of thing for fun. Clients could bring their own games or I had a list.
I got a message from this guy and he wanted to play games, explained he wanted me to come over because he can't come to me, happy to pay the outcall rates and so on. So I visited and we played some games. He wasn't really interested in the sexy extras to it. He mostly wanted to play games and talk, cuddle etc. It continued like that each time, I'd come over and we'd watch a movie or play some games then maybe do some stuff but not always. He told me that he's lonely and has never had any experience with girls before and most friends he had abandoned him because his disability got worse and he was less active. Now the only friends he has are online in games.
I saw him regularly for about a year and a half. His mother was also aware he was seeing me and was very kind to me. She'd go out when I was there and offer me drinks and snacks. She knew what I was but felt like I made him happy so it didn't bother her. One day I stopped hearing from him, he was a regular client for over a year so I wondered what had happened. Some guys get bored and find a new girl but in this case it seemed out of character.
I went to his house just to see how he was and his mom told me that he'd had an aneurysm and passed away a week later in hospital. It was one of the most saddest experiences of my life. He was a client but I got to know him intimately over that time and he became like a close friend. I even got invited to his funeral and accepted. It was much less awkward than you might think. Everyone was really kind to me and non judgemental despite hearing what I was to him.
What Do You Say?
A paraplegic with traumatic brain injury who lay on the bed and just cried, saying he wished he was dead... how he will never have a girlfriend and has lost the will to live. What do you even say to that?
Edit: Wow, didn't expect this comment to be upvoted so much. Not sure why some people think this guy has no agency into making his own decisions about booking a sex worker.
FYI, many of my appointments actually don't involve any sex. They involve companionship. Almost all involve cuddles. A lot of sex workers are working in mental health, nursing, psychology, etc. and I assume that is because they all are essentially 'caring' professions.
I've also seen clients who suffer from PTSD, one came in to see if they could feel anything from a hug after seeing their best friend killed right next to them while deployed overseas. I've even had a mother regularly bring her autistic son because she thought it would do him some good to be with girls after he turned 20.
I think some people who have commented on posts on this thread have a really misguided notion of what sex work involves.
Just Another Way To Say "Good-Bye"
A husband and wife booked me for a threesome, because having a lesbian experience was on her bucket list. She'd recently recovered from a double-mastectomy and had just been diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour, despite undergoing chemotherapy. In a private (fully clothed) moment between the husband and I, he told me "she doesn't have long left..." and the way they looked at each other was so beautiful. Just pure love.
Laws should always protect the people, ALL the people!
Laws are amiable. We know this. They often change with the times, with enough revolution that is. Laws are there to protect and serve, however they can be too complex and just downright odd and often absurd.