IRL

Single People Describe Their Ideal Relationship

Most people have a pretty clear idea of what the perfect relationship looks like for them. For some, it's a typical marriage with 2.5 kids, a dog, and a white picket fence; for others it's a long-term, caring, friend with benefits.


Reddit user Goemon777 asked:

"Singles of Reddit, what's your dream relationship?"


One. 

Someone who respects me for who I am, but isn't afraid to let me know when I am in the wrong. Ideally they wouldn't want kids, would be fine with pets of all sorts, and put effort into understanding my hobbies at the least. If they share my interest in the sciences, even better. Would be willing to sit still long enough for me to draw them occasionally, especially with charcoal, or even just drawing them candidly and not getting weird about it.

RattusDraconis

Two. 

Someone who respects my need for space and enjoys having their own, someone with similar interests.

MelodyInTheChaos

Three. 

Heh heh.

This won't be popular, but here goes.

Someone I can message or text every once in a while, maybe once or twice a day, who feels good about getting them. Maybe send a selfie or a meal I cook once in a while, idea sounding board.

Couple weekends a month, we get together for a couple dates, sex, stuff like that. Cuddling with some netflix, maybe some dancing, if its summer go do some hiking and rock climbing or outdoorsy stuff.

Cook some good food together, do some crocheting, whatever. Shared hobbies, or maybe mix up your partners hobbies with yours for a couple nights and do stuff together.

No need to live together, just a nice relationship where the two people respect eachother, hook up every once in a while and touch bases.

No need to marry. Outdated concept that just ends up with most people falling out of love. Have your own hobbies, your own friends, your own life, just with your beau within reach and able to touch whenever one of you feels like it.

LargeSnorlax

I have this now! It's possible :-) I left a marriage and knew that I never wanted that style of relationship again. My current SO has never wanted a traditional relationship. It works so well for us.

We just finished traveling overseas together for a month and it was so freeing to be able to do that without thinking of it as a trial to living together.

I am so happy with my life now. It's the life I always wanted.

Charlie_2020

Four. 

Feeling safe, loved, and valued. And also someone to read books with.

chromatictypewriter

I once dated a guy that also loved books... Many a Sunday was blissfully spent reading together in proximity but on our own. So good!

Merry_Pippins

My girlfriend is more into reading than I am, but I enjoy when she reads to me. We both plop down on the bed, she reads, I listen. We're doing the Harry Potter books currently. Reading is strangely a couples activity that often gets overlooked, I think. I love her voice, so listening to her reading and then doing the characters voices with accents is awesome.

RickyWicky

Five. 

My last boyfriend was my dream relationship

He was the best! One time he took me on a surprise date where we drove for almost an hour to a feed and livestock store. I was so confused the whole time until he showed me the baby chicks, they were SO cute and we got to play with them and hold them.

He was so friendly too, he would start a conversation with any random stranger. I'm super shy so I loved how he could open the door for both of us to meet new people.

Sometimes we fought, but whenever he got upset he would let me know that he wasn't angry at me, he really loved me but he had trouble dealing with this emotions. I loved him for always being open about his feelings and ready to communicate.

Today marks 7 months since he died. My dream relationship is to be with him again, someday.

underwater_sleeping

Six. 

Ideally, we meet, fall on love, and get married. Maybe we have a couple kids along the way. Live happily ever after.

But realistically, someone I can be myself around and laugh with.

orangeguy99

Seven. 

This question has made me realize that I am going to be single much longer. Not in a "woe is me" type of way, but that I honestly have no answer to this.

CactusWorthHugging

I think it just means you have more "self searching" to do :) That's never a bad thing. Take your time and you'll find someone when you're ready.

Midnight_arpeggio

Idk, some people are ok with being single. I don't have an answer to it because I don't want a dream relationship. I like myself as single.

theredpanda_

Eight. 

Right now I just to a snuggle with a sweet affectionate lady. It's so physically intimate, not even sexual..even though it can be sometimes. I miss that intimate connection. Sex is great but the longer I'm single the more I crave mental and physical (nonsexual) intimacy. Those times when you are holding someone in your arms, hearing their soft breathing, feeling their heart beating, feeling safe and secure, and for a while just forgetting about the world around you. The only thing that matters is that moment. You and them. The troubles of the world melt away.

I miss that...

LittleBear33

Nine. 

An honest one. One in which each person feels safe to be themselves, no matter how silly or "weird" that self happens to be. I've been with too many people more concerned with how they are perceived than they are in being a real person. They could never turn that need off, and therefore I couldn't turn off the fake person they demanded I be at all times. Honestly, I don't care what most people think of me - I am perfectly content to sit in Starbucks with my laptop and write, or to eat alone in a restaurant, or sing to songs I like when I hear them, etc. Being shamed for that fucking sucked.

So yeah. A person who can be honest with who they are would be so amazing.

Lexi_Banner

Ten. 

Honestly if the person cares about you and wants to be around you often is 95% of what I care about. If would be a big bonus if if had the same hobbies , gym, video games, sports, tv shows etc. But most importantly having eachothers backs and always making sure everything is ok, also its best when your partner can bring out the best in you and see positive things in yourself that you dont often see.

Starfall44

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Ignorance really is biased.

We always think we know what is right and what is wrong, what's the truth and what's a lie. The reality is that most of what we know is just an opinion or a partial truth that we've filled in with our own rational (or irrational) explanation. These opinions that we pass off as 'facts' are far from it and it takes a lot of courage to look at yourself and admit you were wrong or misinformed about something. Everyone likes to pretend they're on a different level, but the truth is you're not so different from the people you disagree with. Meditate on that.

Here are a some people admitting strong opinions they no longer have, and what it took to change those views. Redditor u/segafarm asks:

What is the strongest opinion you once held but no longer hold, and what make you change your mind?

Jade-Colored Glasses

I used to think that being cynical/negative was realistic and somehow smarter than being positive. I've since realized that a "be prepared for the worst but expect the best" is far better. We can't control the outcome of anything in life. Being negative makes you miserable rather than protected from bad things happening.

nanaimo

Cant' Have A Conversation With A Parrot

I used to be a conspiracy theorist. Believed that 9/11 was committed by the US government and that we never landed on the moon.

Once I started looking outside of the echo chamber I was in and started looking at alternate explanations, theories and listening to different viewpoints I soon realized how ridiculous those notions were.

Not-A-Real-Subreddit

A Big, Mysterious Universe

I used to be a strict, hardline atheist. I was the kind of bastard that would bring the subject up for no reason, just to argue. I don't know what the hell my problem was. Now I feel like, the universe is big, I don't know what all might be out there, I don't really care. I live as if there is no afterlife, because that makes sense to me. But if you don't, and you believe in one, that's perfectly fine, and maybe you're right. Who knows?

CDC_

Portrait Of An Artist As A Young Man

I used to believe anyone can be a successful artist if they just put the time and effort into it. There is no such thing as talent, only hard work.

What changed my mind: Art school. There were quite a few people that tried hard, but just weren't able to achieve professional level art.

berfica

You're Not Your Emotions

For the longest time, I thought my emotions were in a sense the most "real" part of me. I was always a very emotional person and I didn't make a real effort to control it as I thought it was a good thing, that I was just being honest with myself. Over time though, I started to become very depressed and the negative emotions just keep adding on and on. I thought "this is just how I am I guess". Unfortunately it started hurting other relationships I had, and everything changed when my girlfriend broke up with me. After a lot of reading I found that emotions are not who we are at all. They're just reactions and there's nothing that requires us to act on them or feed them. I'm learning to let it go through me instead of hanging on like I used to.

inca829

Don't Forget Big Willie Style

I used to think that hip hop was bland, repetitive, and all about clubbing and sh*t. Then one of my friends pointed me towards people like Kendrick Lamar, Eminem, Nas and Run The Jewels, who all have great songs and clever lyrics, and I realized that Hip Hop is pretty great.

6quid

The A**holes Will Always Find A Way

I used to think that the catholic church was responsible for all of the hateful people in it. I gave people the chance to challenge my opinion and someone explained it very nicely to me. Basically, the hateful people use the church as an excuse, if you remove the church they will gladly find another excuse.

TianaLeFong

High Times

Giphy

I used to tell myself that I would never stop smoking weed, and that I'd be happy if my kids grew up to be pot smokers... Now I have a kid, don't smoke, and realize what an idiot I was when all I did was smoke all day. I could probably be in a much better position if I hadn't smoked all through college.

But I mean, I still think pot's okay... Just in moderation.

edgar__allan__bro

The Road Less Traveled

"All taxation is theft, man! I made my money without any help from public institutions or the infrastructure they support, I should be able to keep every last dime of it!"

Naturally that was when I was 18, living at home rent free, and working at Pizza Hut as a delivery driver who relied upon public roads for pretty much every cent I made.

ExtremelyLongButtock

All Those PSA's Didn't Do Much

The whole D.A.R.E anti-drugs. Yes crack and heroin is bad, but they over dramatized what happens when you do smaller drugs. Weed isn't even a gateway drug, alcohol is more of a gateway drug. When I saw weed for the first time I thought it was tobacco (This was after all the D.A.R.E training too). Letting the government teach you your morales and philosophy is a thing that sheep do. Don't be a sheep.

PlantTreesForToday

Where Would We Be Without The Kindness Of Strangers

I used to think people on welfare and state assistance just weren't trying hard enough. I grew up spoiled and entitled and it seemed like any kind of charity was a stigma.

Then, my husband became chronically ill, and the economy took a shit. My family has been close to homelessness more than once, and have relied on state insurance and assistance off and on throughout the past few years. There are definitely people out there who abuse the system, but some just get stuck in a horrible cycle of poverty.

I also work in a school that has a high number low income and refugee families. It has really opened my eyes to the struggles that some people face.

BuffyandtheHellcats

He's Still There For You, The Best He Can Be

I could go through life and could seek meaningful advice from my Dad who has always been there for me.

Now he has been reduced to a feeble condition, I am starting to understand I'm out there on my own, and even what he's sure of is suspect given his mental and physical facilities have been rapidly deteriorating in his late seventies. I feel horrible that I have noticed this long before he did - or at least admitted as much.

june606

Clear Your Mind

This was before I received an ADHD diagnosis. When my doctor referred me to an ADHD specialist, first of all I refused to believe him and was kind of slighted that he even suggested that I could possibly have ADHD.

I had a very strong opinion that if I get a diagnosis that I would refuse to take prescribed amphetamines because they are "bad" and "addictive" and that they would ruin my life.

Then I actually tried the prescription and it was like magic.

Xingua92

Going Through The Whole Spectrum

Used to be fairly open with my views on immigration policy. Then I worked for a while down near Corpus Christie doing immigration work. I'd say one out if every hundred people that came through our office was going to somebody who actually wanted to work and try to make a living here. So many people simply wanted to exist enough to get welfare. Many were young men who we would later defend against exportation as a result of their criminal activity. I began to despise the work of defending these men and wished they would be deported.

Now, I'm dating a foreign girl and we are in the legal immigration process. She has advanced degrees and skills, so that makes things a little easier. But it does make me resent people who just bypass the system. We can't bypass the system because I imagine my participation in immigration fraud could get me disbarred.

RogerDeanVenture



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