Stories Of People Who Actually Went Through With A Mail-Order Bride.
This article is based on the AskReddit question "To anyone who has ordered a mail order bride, what was it like and what happened?"
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
1/14. A father of a friend had a mail order bride. He had divorced my friends mother a few years before due to his drinking and accompanying bad mood when drinking. Anyway, he brings over a Philipina lady pretty much half his age. He was about 50 years old. Things went well for a while. They had a child together and she got on well with his kids. But then he started drinking heavier and the problems started and he was abusing her in mostly mental ways but also some physical ways. His son picked up on this and confronted him about it and he kicked her and their child out. He also didn't want to see my friend (his son) anymore. He offers her a place to stay until she can find a place for herself and child to live.
I didn't see him for a few months as I went overseas. When I come back, I find that he has fallen in love with his stepmother and she is pregnant with his child. They ended up getting married after her divorce from his father and from what I hear are still together 15 years later.
2/14. I used to work retail with a woman who was a mail order bride. She was a tiny little thing, around 35 years old, and her husband was a very large, stocky white man around 50-55. I thought it was very weird when she first told me, but when I met him and saw them together, it actually seemed like a nice fit. He was always coming into the store to bring her lunch or to buy her things, and pick her up from work on his motor scooter. It was pretty cute watching them ride it together. It seemed like he really enjoyed spoiling her, and when she talked about him, she seemed very much in love with him. It didn't appear that he was particularly wealthy or anything, but he treated her very well and they seemed very happy. Just before I left that job, she had just become pregnant with their first child.
3/14. I knew a guy who owned his own business that married a mail-order bride. He got crushed by a skid steer and she now owns the business and has a new husband closer to her age.
4/14. My friend has a mail-order bride from the Philippines. He's a scruffy redneck long-haul trucker from West Virginia, she's tiny, slender, and ten years his junior. At first she cooked, cleaned, and kept his bed warm, but after a few years she told him she wanted an education. He put in a ton of overtime and saved up enough to put her through college. She's a physician's assistant now and makes more money than he ever has, but she still makes him dinner and makes a point of always being waiting at the door when he gets back from a long haul. They've been together for 20 years now and its a joy to see them together.
Continue reading on the next page!
5/14. Although my parents were always too ashamed to admit this to anyone but myself and my sister, my mom was a "mail order bride" about 23-24 years ago. This was before all the online companies that do this, so my father had to find my mother in a sort of magazine catalogue of Filipino women. He sent her letters, and she replied, over the course of a year. They finally met and my mom moved to my dad's tiny hometown, got married, and they had two daughters together (one being myself).
They were both looking for a better life, and someone who would treat them better than past partners had. And they both got that, plus it turns out they both have the travel bug. So now they're retired, living a nomadic life travelling the globe, and they got more than they ever hoped for.
Sure, I've always known there were some serious cultural differences between my parents that theyve never been able to fully reconcile. My mom, being from a very traditional village in Northern Philippines has a hard time understanding a lot of North American norms and beliefs, and they butt heads over a lot of small things. These cultural clashes have taught me so much though, and their collective love of travel and culture has inspired me to study Anthropology and travel around the globe. I can't imagine having lived in a home where we didn't eat bacon and rice, pancit and steak, or purple (ube) birthday cakes on a regular basis.
6/14. I had a friend of a friend who did it. He had a terrible personality.
He got a truly gorgeous Vietnamese girl (through some bride-to-order agency) who was really sweet and seriously, a catch.
The girl left him as soon as she legally could (having gained citizenship).
Honestly I think the deal worked out really well for both them. I also think if the guy was worthy of her, or even just you know, a sweet guy, she would have stayed.
7/14. He was your typical scientist. Mid 40s, quiet, rather bland, wore the same brown suit to work every day, even when the rest of us were in jeans. One day he suddenly had a Filipino wife and two Filipino children aged about 5 and 7.
They didn't seem like they had that much in common at first. She was very outgoing and extroverted, the exact opposite of my coworker. She was so excited to be in a new land, to have a good home and school for her children. I taught her how to ski one winter and although she fell down constantly, she always laughed when she did so. She treated every day like a blessing.
The two of them ended up being very happy together, or as far as I could tell. I don't think they loved each other, but they seemed relatively intimate, and appreciated the opportunities they had been given, a better life for her, and companionship for him.
Continue reading on the next page!
8/14. I know (of) 3 people who got mail-order brides.
One guy was a 40s-50s succesful college professor and fairly known author in his field of study. He got a mail-order bride from China or something. Never saw or met her, but the professor always talked about her and was candid about their arrangement. It was like any other middle-aged professor talking (affectionately) about his wife during lectures. It was cute.
Another guy was a co-worker, around my age too (at the time, early 20s). I was surprised because the guy was reasonably handsome and genuinely likeable. He had a mail-order bride from Korea and was very open about it. She'd stop by the office to drop off lunch for him a few times, and they had a baby son. They were a perfectly normal, happy young couple.
9/14. I (M36) did. My wife (F3) and I just celebrated our 1 year (married) anniversary. We met on a website (like mach.com but for international dating) about 3 years ago. I had been divorced about 3-4 years and not having much luck in the dating scene here. I figured what the heck I would give it a shot.
I chatted with some women from the Philippines and some from Vietnam. Was a little rough at first, ran into plenty of women that would bring up $$$, or family trouble they needed help with right away (also involving money). Then I met my wife. We exchanged a few emails and next thing you know we are chatting on Skype while she it at work and spending 8-12 hours per night Skyping with webcams, just hanging out like long distance couples do. She would watch tv, I would play games, whatever, just being together was the most important thing. It was just comfortable and flowed naturally. She had joined the site herself as she had broken up with her bf some months before and wanted something different. She knew english really well as she had studied from like 3 years when she was in College in Vietnam.
I went to Vietnam about 4 months after we met online. I was still a little worried of course, flying half way around the world to meet a girl I met online. not knowing how any of this would go. Well it went great!! and I went back 6 times over the next 2 years.
It was INCREDIBLY difficult with the distance, and really only being able to see each other 1 or 2 times per year for like 3 weeks. We mad it through though, and on OCT 11 of 2015 my mother and grandmother went with me to Vietnam and we got married there. She came back with me that time and things are going very well here. We love each other a lot, cultural differences and her adjusting to the USA way of things can be difficult at times but overall its been way easier than I thought. I am just really glad we don't have to be separated anymore, all of that time apart physically actually strengthened our relationship I think as it REALLY made us work on our communication.
Continue reading on the next page!
10/14. I'm actually the child of one of these relationships. My father is originally from New Zealand, and my mother, 3 brothers and I are from Thailand. We came over to live with him when I was around 4 years old (15 years ago) and my brothers were 6,9 and 11. I don't remember my real father very well, but he died when I about a year after I was born. Anyway, my mother and new father are around the same age, and as far as I can remember, they've really loved each other. It wasn't like that at first I don't think, but they soon made a connection and we are still a happy family to this day!
11/14. A co-worker of mine did. he was in his mid-40's not horrible looking but worked incredibly long hours (he is a tool maker, class A machinist), he went through a horrible divorce has two kids, his now X-wife (from what he tells me) is an awful person (I've never met her, just go on what he tells me).
One day, He wasn't in work, I ask our boss where he is, he said he used all his vacation time and took a few weeks unpaid, to travel. good for him I thought to myself.
When he came back, I ask him how his trip went, and he pulls out this big ass photo book, said he went to Vietnam, and got married, then shows me his picture book of the whole trip.
The woman he married was drop dead gorgeous, literally a 9/10. He said he went through a website, got linked up to her, conversed though email, then phone, he took the trip there, liked her and married her, and took her home. he then shows me a pic of all her sisters and cousins that are "Available" ...
She basically does everything for him, and he treats her like gold and talked about her all the time. She speaks broken English (better than most that i've encountered) but is currently going to school to learn English as well.
I was floored at first, but he truly loves her, I've since left that job, but from people I've kept in contact with from there say they are still together and now have a child.
12/14. I bought a mail order bride if buying her picture and address counts as buying her. This was from Cherry Blossoms, in 1984 , when it was under different management and, obviously, pre-internet. (Continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
I wrote to 35 women all over the far east, 17 of which thought I was worth writing back to. There was one stand out and by the end of 2 months she was the only one I was still writing to.
After 6 months I went to her country to meet her. The Immigration and Naturalization Service requires a face to face meeting before any type of visa will be issued. Here is where you start to spend real money, not for her but on air-fare. The face to face meeting confirmed what we already knew. We liked each other and wanted to get married. By the way she is the same age as me, holds 2 Bachelors degrees, father was a lawyer. That eliminates the "Gold diggers" that most people claim these women are. After another 6 months of writing back and forth she came to the USA and we were married 10 days later.
13/14. My uncle is married to a wonderful "mail order bride." He's socially awkward; she's warm, gregarious and funny. They've been together probably 18 years and they have a great, well-adjusted kid.
As a teen, I thought it was such a weird relationship. I imagined, for her, that it was very shallow and lacking in fulfillment. Now, I can see that they both got a better life her financial situation improved, as well as that of her family back home. She has a beautiful child, and she married into a pretty nice family. For my uncle's part, he has a wife and daughter who care about him and help him navigate the world.
I adore her mostly because she was so good to my grandmother (uncle's mom). She visited her all the time, called her "mom," made sure her daughter (she's my cousin even though she's younger than my own kids) had a solid relationship with grandma. All in all, I think my uncle seriously lucked out by meeting such a great bride."
14/14. I think an old high school buddy of mine did this. Went off to college on the west coast, came back with a Thai wife who barely spoke any English. He spoke a bit of Thai, but not much. They were together for about 3 years, then she just up and disappeared one morning. Leaving their son behind. Not sure what happened to her. He claimed she went back to see her family.
[Image credit: pathdoc / Shutterstock.com]
Breaking up is hard to do.
And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.
People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.