Stories of People Who ‘Lost Interest’ In Their Crush
From refusing to wear a seat belt, despite being a doctor, to being extremely rude and snobby to a server, people share what made them suddenly lose interest in a person they were pursuing romantically.
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
For our second date, we went out for a few drinks. She starts flirting with some random guy to see how I'd react. When I asked her what was she doing, she actually wanted me to fight for her. Like, get into an actual fist fight.
I paid my tab and told her to find a ride home. Then I left.
We were getting to know each other and I realized she hadn't asked me any questions whatsoever. Like if we're really going to go to the effort of going out for a coffee date, then I expect people to contribute their half of the conversation and actually make it easy for both of us to talk about each other and ourselves.
My dad had a stroke, and this girl I was seeing kept complaining to me that she was tired, feeling under the weather, and a bunch of other stuff. She just kept sending me these whiny texts complaining about every little thing while I was sitting in the hospital watching my dad break down because he couldn't turn the pages while reading the newspaper.
She was a nice girl besides that. I hope she's well.
She stole from me when we were studying at my house. She knew I had a crush on her and that I would eagerly bend over backwards to help her with her studies in high school. I had a Walkman back in the day, and she stole it when I left her alone in my room to go and get cookies and tea. I felt so betrayed, but I didn't say a word. It was so obvious. I knew where it was and saw it just before I left the room. It magically wasn't there anymore when I walked back in.
It's been like 20 years, and I am still salty about it. Not because of the theft itself, but because of the shock of finding out my crush was a thief. It didn't matter how pretty she was or how nice she pretended to be when anyone talked to her. If we had dated or even become close friends, I bet my dad would have bought her a Walkman for her birthday.
One of my cousins got cancer. I cried for a while, and I had problems because I couldn't control it for the first days after I got the news. Then earthquakes hit my mother's town and killed an aunt and left half of the family homeless. My crush sent a message saying that it was better for us to keep our distance until I got over my problems. I'm glad we are no longer speaking. I'm finding out that she really was selfish.
He was very rude to our super sweet and attentive waitress. He complained about the beer selection. He complained that I didn't get my drink fast enough (I was satisfied with when it came). Incidentally, I was invited to that same place by someone else shortly after and ended up having the same waitress. I apologized to her for the previous date's rudeness. She laughed it off, but my mouth hung open when she said that he ended up not tipping her either.
I went on a first date with a girl. It went great and she seemed pleasantly normal.
2 days later, after work, whilst waiting for the train, she calls me. I pick up and she doesn't say anything except, "Hi." After her not talking for a good 10 seconds, I initiated the conversation. She would just giggle in reply. I asked her why she was calling me if she wasn't going to talk. She just carried on giggling.
I told her I had to go, and was somewhat put off by the whole exchange. But I could deal with it.
The next day she texted me, "I miss you. I didn't want to tell you, but I really really do miss you a lot."
We had been on one date. I ended it shortly after.
In my freshman year of college, I was really, REALLY into this guy. Even though I knew he wasn't good for me, and he was more of the "just have sex" type - I wanted a relationship. He and I were friends, and there's no way he didn't know I was into him.
All my friends supported my over-the-moon crush, one of whom got particularly close to him and would tell me about his thoughts and feelings, egging me on to get with him. At a certain point, I accepted that I wouldn't be with him, and told him that even though I have feelings for him, I'm never going to pursue him. He accepted it, still wanted to be friends, and then told me that that friend of mine had been hooking up with him on and off for months.
I immediately lost any remaining interest in him and stopped speaking to her.
I'm a paleontologist, and she stopped me at dinner when we were talking about careers to have the following exchange:
Her: Hey. So this might be a dumb question but —
Me: (in teacher mode) No, of course not. There are no dumb questions.
Her: Okay, so... did Jurassic Park happen?
Me: (thinking this is the age-old "is Jurassic Park possible? Can we clone dinosaurs?" question) Good question. No, we can't clone dinosaurs. DNA degrades over time and —
Her: No, I mean... Did Jurassic Park happen. Like, did it actually happen, though?
Me: What do you mean? Like, did dinosaurs attack an island in Costa Rica in the 90s?
I had a crush on a girl all throughout high school but never pursued it (I had some major confidence issues). While in college one day, I run into her. We strike up a conversation and exchange numbers with plans to meet up for coffee. On our date, I realize she is the most vapid, childish and basic girl I have ever gone out with. But (for shame) I really wanted to sleep with her, so I pushed that aside. One night, when we were out for dinner, she casually mentions that she has been seeing another guy and was interested to see who could win her. I immediately lost interest and genuinely struggled to even finish the meal with her.
This was 8 years ago, and judging from her Facebook profile, the other guy wasnt interested in her weird game either.
Kissing her. She really was one of the worst kissers I've ever kissed. It really wierded me out because she was good looking, very sexy and not naive. She's also in her late 30s. But it felt like like she was trying to eat my mouth while shoving her tongue in and out. I stumbled back in surprise. My erection calmed right down - I think it was scared. We're just friends now.
I met a girl on Tinder, and we started seeing each other for about two weeks. Out of the blue, I see she puts on Facebook that we are in a relationship together. I was sort of cool with it at first, but I told her I wanted to slow things down a bit. She agreed.
The next morning, she starts calling me "bro." "Morning bro, how's it going?" She was just being super passive-aggressive about me slowing things down, trying to rile me up. She kept it going all morning until I was actually fed up with it and told her I was done.
I don't know, it might be a stupid reason to break it off with someone, but it definitely seemed like she would have done the same with a different argument down the road. I don't have time for that.
I reconnected with this guy I had known a few years before. When we first met he was really sweet, and really into sci-fi which I'm also really into. So we hit it off back then, but it just wasn't the right time.
So a few years later we're both single and decide to meet up. The first thing he said when he saw me was that my thighs had gotten bigger. I've never been over 120 pounds, but either way, that comment was completely uncalled for. He also kept bragging about all the girls he had slept with and kept opening snapchats from girls he knew to show them to me. The rest of the night he kept asking me if he made me feel nervous, and it really seemed like he wanted me to say yes. I guess he came to the conclusion that girls liked being treated like crap by guys. So that ended that.
Just a few months ago, after getting out of a three-year relationship, I started talking to a girl I had a crush on. I took her out for drinks for the first time, and we had a couple more dates afterward. We had a great time. I made a move on one of the dates and it was great. She even told me she had been waiting for me to make a move sooner. The last time I took her out, I asked her if we could be official and she said yes. Then she just stopped talking to me. It's been over two months now and I'm still trying to figure out what went wrong here. It just feels like I wasted my time. That made me lose interest real quick.
I was once out on a date with a woman and we really seemed to have the same interests. She was cool, and kind of loud and boisterous, which I happen to like. About half an hour in, she said she needed to tell me something because she was really enjoying herself. What she had to tell me was that she had two sons under 8 years old. That in itself wasn't a problem. But she followed it up with, "Don't worry though, they live with their dad. I usually only have them one weekend a month. They won't get in the way of anything." It was such a nonchalant dismissal of her own children. As someone who eventually wants children of my own, that was pretty much it for me.
She strung me on for the last time.
It was an on-again off-again fling with other relationships on the side, not very often were we both single at the same time, etc.
We went through five years of not knowing what we were exactly: we were both in different colleges, talked all the time, mused about how I wanted to be in a relationship. She said we would discuss it when we were home next. So that time came around, we hung out, and at the end of the night, I brought it up. She just said "nah," and left She tried to continue on the same way after that, but I just kinda drifted away. I was done.
We were going to hit up a festival, but she said she had something come up the day before. I told her my friends and I were going to hang out that day since she was busy, and she was fine with that. Then, when the day we were originally supposed to go rolls around, her schedule cleared up, and she was angry that I was doing something else. Nope. Not gonna deal with that immaturity.
He told me that he didn't use dating apps but kept getting Tinder messages during our first date (he was showing me pictures on his phone and the notifications kept coming up). Also on that date, he mentioned how he had recently seen a super hot girl but she didn't accept his Facebook request. He was the one pursuing me, but as you can imagine there won't be a second date.
I worked up the courage to ask the guy on a date; he said yes and we made plans. I had seen him around but hadn't really talked to him before, and I was generally infatuated with him. I got to Starbucks about five minutes before we had agreed to meet and texted him that I was there. No response. He showed up 35 minutes later and didn't even give a cursory explanation. Just "sorry I'm late."
I smiled, said "no problem," got up, and left without another word. We never talked to each other again.
When I started medical school, I was absolutely infatuated with this girl in my class. I always saw her across the room and thought she was gorgeous. Even now, she's genuinely one of the most attractive girls I've ever seen in person. About a week later, we were in a group together, and she was immediately unbearable. She acted really ditsy, and did that thing where she ended every sentence with an upwards inflection like she was asking a question.
I can't fully describe it, but my infatuation died in less than 5 minutes. She went from "beautiful future doctor wife material" to "would not text back" in a hurry.
Even after two years of school, it's still bizarre to hear her say something like, "I don't know, based on the patient's reported chronic use of NSAIDs and otherwise negative medical and genetic history I think we should be suspicious of chronic interstitial nephritis, but like I don't know, you know? It's just a random thought, my brain is always all over the place maybe I'm like totally weird?"
Good God, nobody is going to call you a nerd for making insightful comments.
Booze. Turns out she was a raging alcoholic. After more or less saying she drinks because she likes to get drunk - on a Tuesday night - I was out.
I dated a couple other girls who were just... boring. It was always "whatever you want to do." They had no opinion or ideas of their own. They were just basically a pile of clothes. They talked to me, but only when I initiated conversation.
Oh, and the one who put herself 10K in credit card debt buying designer clothes and purses, but complained when her roommate wanted $50 more a month for heat. I ran away from her like my hair was on fire.
He was super self-centered! It took me a while to acknowledge because I was so infatuated, but over time it became super clear to me how one-sided the whole thing was. Of course, now that I'm over it and not paying extra attention to him anymore, he's suddenly interested in talking to me.
It seems like a small thing, but she refused to wear a seat belt and didn't see it as a big deal despite being a doctor. She even worked in Emergency Medicine and yet still disregarded a friend and I explaining how dangerous it was not to wear one. I wasn't massively into her, but any interest I did have was instantly gone, so we broke up.
Another one which didn't immediately lead to a break up but really should have was witnessing a girl hurl a torrent of abuse and anger at my friend for saying her hairstyle looked 'mature' (in a good way obviously). It was the first time I had seen her properly being abusive to someone other than me, and it was incredibly eye-opening. I am very glad she is no longer in my life.
I walked into a party and saw her from across the room. She was as beautiful as she was charming, but the thing that hooked me was also the thing that made me break up with her 3 months later. She and I both loved music and could usually name a song within 2 seconds of its first note. I never met a girl so into rock, alternative, indy. My problem was she, for the life of her, could not listen to one song from beginning to end. EVER. She was a proverbial song skipper. She never made it 3/4 through a song before she hit scan. The rule of driving is the driver dictates the radio options. I am okay with someone changing the channel because a particular song does not fit their fancy, but turning the channel on Comfortably Numb just before the 2nd Gilmore solo to hear half of Hell's Bells was a deal breaker. It was quite literally the worst and most justified reason I ever had for dumping someone. How could someone so beautiful and smart have such a major tick?
I had met this girl at a friends place. Let's call her Kate. We clicked, and I started hanging out with her. I asked her to go on a date - so far so good, right?
Well, later on, I get a text from a random number saying, "Hey [my first name], it's Jess." I had met a Jess months ago but as far as I knew, nothing had happened. I responded "Jess who?" as I wasn't sure who this person really was, and I thought it was weird they knew my first name. She claimed to be pregnant. I chalked it up to lies and ignored it. Then Kate texted me later going "Hey, who's Jess?"
At this point, I begin to freak out. She went on saying Jess was threatening her. While this is happening, I'm getting Facebook messages from Kate's cousin telling me how horrible I am for doing that to the girl I'm seeing. I try to say I have no idea who she is; they say she knows what alcohol I like, what I'm majoring in, etc.
I'm at the point of mental breakdown. I have a kid? I have to pay child support? What is going on? I text my friend who's house Jess claimed to have met me at, and said "Hey man, who is Jess? Tell her to quit this game, I've never even talked to her before." He proceeded to go off on one of his friends named Jess. Immediately after I catch wind of this, I get a call from Kate. Turns out it was the cousin's cell phone number. There was no Jess. It was a "joke that I had taken too far," according to them.
They wanted me to hang out later, so I just got super drunk, puked in their driveway and got an Uber home.
It was high school, and I had a crush on this one girl. Couldn't stop thinking about her. I went to the birthday party of a friend of a friend, in part, because I knew she would be there.
This could be my chance.
An overnight, mixed gender birthday party at a kid's big house in the woods. There would be a camp fire. Maybe even some romance?
I sensed my opportunity was near when we were all gathered around the fire after hours of partying. We were all probably going to pack it in soon. But first, a little puff puff pass.
She didn't react well to that.
For starters, she got really dopey really fast. Then, she defecated in her pants.
I don't mean that as a euphemism. She was giggling excessively. Then there was some loud stomach gurgling. Then there was an incredibly loud fart. Then she laughed harder and said, "Oh my God! I crapped my pants!" She then laughed harder to the point of tears.
After she stopped laughing, she wandered into the room where some folks were sleeping, flopped onto her sleeping bag and passed out with a load in her pants.
As if this wasn't enough to kill my interest, she woke up the next morning and spent a solid hour getting breakfast, drinking coffee and doing other stuff before she decided to clean herself up.
Last, but certainly not least, she just dropped her crap filled panties in the little garbage can next to the sink in the bathroom that most of us were using. So I'm trying to grab a shower next to that.
Interest officially rescinded.
Breaking up is hard to do.
And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.
People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.